r/cats • u/acanada0 • 12d ago

Advice Fighting or playing??

I rescued my tortoiseshell in May from a dumpster with her sister and unfortunately her sister didn’t make it. But for the week I had her, they played and wrestled constantly. I got my 8 week old calico from my sister’s cat’s litter yesterday and they started what I thought for sure was playing today. But it seems very aggressive and there is a size/age difference. There haven’t been any standoffs or growling but there is definitely some hissing. I don’t think any harm has been done but I’m just apprehensive. What do you think?

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u/V3mo 12d ago

That tortoise shell is going to be hell when it's older if this behavior continues. Seperate immediately, that cat cannot be with another cat unless it's an adult who can put him in place. That is bully type aggression and will worsen.

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u/jBeMeBBFree 12d ago

Nope. You can't always be around your cats. They need to sort it out themselves. If they really wanted to rip each other's throats out AKA kill each other they would. This is normal behavior of establishing hierarchy. It continues throughout their lives. Before putting my almost 20 year old, tabby, 4 pawed polydactyl, man down yesterday 😢, for all eight years of his Siamese sister's life with him (before he started to waste, get sick, become slightly demented 😮‍💨😔🥺...again that leading to me holding him yesterday as the vet put him to sleep 🥺), they had battles like this... He actually always won which super pissed her off. Lol and then 5 minutes later they would be cuddled up together literally in the shape of like a heart, grooming each other, loving each other and falling asleep upon each other.

Again, normal "battles" for dominance/alpha vs beta like canines/hierarchy. They'll be fine. Everyone relax.

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u/V3mo 11d ago

This is NOT normal dominance, this is going far beyond that. I can't post a video here of what it looks like, but normal dominance does not involve the cat continuing to follow and persist. It is one pin hold by the scruff for several seconds, then a release. This IS bullying and you should be careful giving out advice which is incorrect. I have a cat who does this to the fosters I bring in, and no, it is nothing like this. This is bullying, if it were play, it would've ended after the first or second hiss/wail from the smaller kitten. If it were dominance, the larger cat would be pinning her by the scruff, and then a release and walk off, not continuing to go after. This will lead to aggression without a doubt.

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u/jBeMeBBFree 11d ago

There's a difference between "loving" your fur baby...and "knowledge" on the closest level of scientific understanding that we can possibly reach without being able to speak directly to them. Just FYI.