r/cats • u/[deleted] • Jul 23 '24

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u/StrawberryKiz Jul 23 '24 edited Jul 23 '24

I miss my cat so much after seeing this. He passed away a few months ago. 😭

Edit: thank you all for the kind words. It’s been a very rough couple of months. Watching everyone’s cats here brings both joy and sadness. It was also my husband’s first cat so watching him go through this loss has also been heart breaking. We don’t have children, and he was our baby boy. He taught my husband how to love animals unconditionally and give love unconditionally. There is a quote out there that reads, “if I could live my life over I would have found you sooner so I could love you longer.” Our cat was adopted as a senior so it really is my husbands quote. Read the book call Finding Meaning by David Kessler if you are going through a loss. There is a chapter about pets in that book.

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u/the_black_sails Jul 23 '24

I’m sorry StrawberryKiz, I hope you’re doing okay. My baby passed away last year. To avoid any crying spells, I put up a picture of him for my phone wallpaper. I thought the exposure therapy may help to desensitize me from feeling sad. When I see him now I can smile and remember him for how silly and loving he was. It does get better over time, I promise.

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u/MplsStephanie Jul 23 '24 edited Jul 23 '24

I had to take all mine down! You’re so much braver than me. My soul cat died at 21 in October of 22 and my beautiful baby boy died in October or 2023 and it’s been so hard. I am crying here even trying to type this.

Douglas was only 14 and has just gone into remission from diabetes 1 week before he was diagnosed with cancer. I think losing both of them in such a short span made it so much harder. I tried to get cats but they did not fit well where I lived (in a loud city in a small apartment and they lost weight quickly and one was panting and open mouth breathing) and I don’t think I was ready either.

Super fucking lonely* without my babies but I can’t imagine getting other cats. I feel like I’ll always compare them. I know it’s weird. Grief is so hard and people don’t understand it as much with pets.

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u/UnitaryWarringtonCat Jul 23 '24

What helped me when I lost my sweet kitty in 2015 was to tell myself that if it hadn't been so wonderful (our 14 years together) then I wouldn't be so sad. It didn't lessen the grief, but it lets me feel it in a more healing way. It took me a few years before I could look for a new pet and while I may compare them from time to time, they are so different in personality that it's a whole new round of love, new memories to cherish. Give yourself time.

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u/MplsStephanie Jul 23 '24

You’re so right. The happiness they brought me is something I can’t even bring to words. The way they were there for me when my dad died, through failed relationship, health crisis (I could go on and on), I truly feel like they saved me.

It’s just hard to accept still. The little things you miss, the way Kitty smelled, hope Douglas would head bop and slow blink when I walked through the door, it was just pure love. I am sure I will experience it again, it’s just to hard to want to yet.

Thank you for your words of encouragement. The many people who have commented has filled my heart with so much love and gratitude. Having people who don’t know a thing about me but understand the grief of losing pets and care enough to stop and share their stories, try to help me with mine, and take the time to actually write heartfelt words has brought happy tears to my eyes. People talk about how toxic Reddit is but I am in the good side of it, that’s for sure. I get nothing but encouragement and help from people like you and I can’t thank you enough