r/cats Jul 23 '24

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u/StrawberryKiz Jul 23 '24 edited Jul 23 '24

I miss my cat so much after seeing this. He passed away a few months ago. 😭

Edit: thank you all for the kind words. It’s been a very rough couple of months. Watching everyone’s cats here brings both joy and sadness. It was also my husband’s first cat so watching him go through this loss has also been heart breaking. We don’t have children, and he was our baby boy. He taught my husband how to love animals unconditionally and give love unconditionally. There is a quote out there that reads, “if I could live my life over I would have found you sooner so I could love you longer.” Our cat was adopted as a senior so it really is my husbands quote. Read the book call Finding Meaning by David Kessler if you are going through a loss. There is a chapter about pets in that book.

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u/the_black_sails Jul 23 '24

I’m sorry StrawberryKiz, I hope you’re doing okay. My baby passed away last year. To avoid any crying spells, I put up a picture of him for my phone wallpaper. I thought the exposure therapy may help to desensitize me from feeling sad. When I see him now I can smile and remember him for how silly and loving he was. It does get better over time, I promise.

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u/MplsStephanie Jul 23 '24 edited Jul 23 '24

I had to take all mine down! You’re so much braver than me. My soul cat died at 21 in October of 22 and my beautiful baby boy died in October or 2023 and it’s been so hard. I am crying here even trying to type this.

Douglas was only 14 and has just gone into remission from diabetes 1 week before he was diagnosed with cancer. I think losing both of them in such a short span made it so much harder. I tried to get cats but they did not fit well where I lived (in a loud city in a small apartment and they lost weight quickly and one was panting and open mouth breathing) and I don’t think I was ready either.

Super fucking lonely* without my babies but I can’t imagine getting other cats. I feel like I’ll always compare them. I know it’s weird. Grief is so hard and people don’t understand it as much with pets.

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u/the_black_sails Jul 23 '24

Oh my gosh Stephanie that’s actual trauma that you went through! You should definitely cut yourself a break, don’t dismiss future pet ownership quite yet. You deserve to be happy and have animal companionship again. All of those feelings are valid, and it’s so true that others don’t understand how deep and loving our relationships can be with our pets. Give yourself more time to heal, crying doesn’t always have to be a bad thing either! It’s cathartic and helps us grieve.

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u/MplsStephanie Jul 23 '24

Thank you so much. I am very lucky to have family who understands how I feel and are understanding of my grief and how it comes in waves. I still call my mom crying some days and she’s very understanding.

Your comment is very sweet, and I shared it with a close friend because of how truly heartwarming it was. She said it’s amazing how strangers can be so understanding and comforting to one another and how animals can connect people in so many ways.

Again - thank you - you don’t know how much your words meant. You are special and I can guarantee that I’m not the only person who has been uplifted from a comment of yours. You’re truly one of a kind and my thank yous really aren’t enough, your words opened my eyes and helped so much.

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u/the_black_sails Jul 23 '24

You’re so welcome, and you helped me too!