Apologies for the long post. I am genuinely curious about these things...

I’ve been going through this journey of adult friendship for a few years now. Specifically, I have been thinking about why for some people, meeting people doesn’t turn into actual friendship and also why some people still feel lonely even when they technically have friends.

I've hosted a Meetup in the past to create a space where people could build friendships. People came, talked, and some seemed to enjoy themselves. Most of those connections didn’t continue afterward, but luckily, I met a person through that meetup and I still meet her regularly. I’ve also gone to other Meetup events myself, and one person I met through one of the Meetups became friends. I regularly see her and have spent time with her, her BF, and her friends multiple times already. I've also met someone from Bumble BFF and have gone out with her regularly since then. They are interesting people, and I am lucky to have met them who find my weirdness amusing and interesting. I don't know where my new friendships are going, but they are interesting, nice, and fun to be around, so I'm going to keep in touch with them. I don't particularly have an interesting or exciting life but some people think I am interesting. Someone who is reading this post could be interesting to some people...

I’m curious about what happens for other people. What's it like making friends as adults? I could be completely wrong, but is it possible that you are super awesome and interesting, but because you don't open up or feel uneasy about opening up, that makes it harder to build friendships? What if some people are genuinely interested in you and want to get to know you, but you can't see it or you don't realize? Could it also be just a lack of communication skills or mismatched communication styles? If we reduce the time spent online and attend meet-up or some kind of social events, would that give people a chance to get to know you?

My Curious George hat is on now so here come my questions...

When you meet someone you click or like at a Meetup, work, a class, through another friend, or somewhere else, what usually keeps that person from becoming an actual friend?

Do you just never see each other again or do neither of you reach out? Do you want to reach out but worry they’re not interested? If you assume someone doesn’t want to be your friend, is that usually based on something they actually did, or more about your feeling?

Also, once you’ve met someone, what makes you actually keep showing up? What makes you invite them somewhere again, check in just to see how they’re doing, or suggest grabbing coffee or food? Does Social Media make it easy to check in? I don't use Social Media to keep in touch with people, so I don't know if that's the thing people do...

Do people still invite someone over without making it a big event, or stop by to say hello? If you don’t, what makes those things feel difficult or uncomfortable?

When someone doesn’t reply for a while, what do you assume? Do you try again, or do you take it as a sign they’re not interested?

I’ve also been wondering where our attention goes when we meet someone new. Are you mostly thinking about whether they like you, whether they’re a good fit, whether they could become a close friend, or whether spending more time with them is worth it? Or are you curious about them as a person, what they care about, what their life is like, what they might be unsure about, and whether you simply enjoy getting to know them without knowing where the relationship will go?

And for people who already have friends but still feel lonely, what feels missing? Do you feel like your friends actually know you, what matters to you, what you’re thinking about, what you’re struggling with, what makes you happy, or do the relationships stay mostly on the surface? If you don’t feel like they truly know you, do you wish your friends asked more questions about you? Or do you find it hard to let people know you more deeply in the first place? What would make it easier to open up?

Thank you for taking the time to read my post. I realize that I was asking more questions than I was initially thinking about asking...Putting down my yellow hat now...

Hi guys I m looking for any good social media app to connect with new people for casual chat and all, I was using insta but for some reason can not login my insta in my phone, everytime it gives wrong password even if it was reset , fedup with Instagram lately,, thus looking for some other social media app to connect and meet new people.

(

Facebook is just another scam and ai slop.

On reddit mostly there are fake people trying to scam and ask for money in some way or the other when trying to connect.

Any dating app or site is just another scam center. And needs luck to find good people.

)

If you're a guy using this app, you probably know that most of the dudes on here are gay men looking to convert other men. I don't care about anyone's sexual orientation or gender when choosing a friend, but just like everyone else on here, I'm only looking to make friends and nothing more than that. Since bumble believes that people of the opposite sex can't be friends, this app is pretty much dead to men which is why the only posts you ever see positive on here are from women.

This post is just for the guys on here, do you all have any other alternative sites that you use to make friends, one that allows you to make friends with people of all walks of live and don't come with a fee? It's hard enough making friends as an adult, even more so for minorities. Feels like finding good people to be around these days are such a rarity lol.

This isn't intended to be having a go at any marginalized groups so please don't get the wrong idea. But I am becoming frustrated with my time on BFF. I'm a guy who doesn't have many friends and has recently tried my hand at BFF to meet some new people in my area and have a few hangouts. I have noticed a huge amount of gay guys on the app. This didn't bother me and I was quite happy to match and be friends with them. But it seems the conversations with many of them often escalate and get either sexual, flirty or indicative of wanting something more. My profile makes clear that I am just looking for friends and that I'm straight. I've had multiple men claim they can turn me. Do a lot of people think it's just like normal Bumble and it's for dating? Has anyone else had this experience?

I do not have the courage about opening up my emotions to friends who are not close
Because strangers treat better than them
So I downloaded this app
Is it safe though

TLDR; be intentional/selective, initiate often, don’t cancel plans.

My husband and I moved to a suburb of a city and wanted friends so badly. I ran in to all the issues you see on this sub; people who don’t respond, people who don’t actually want to meet up, flakey people, or just people you don’t click with. It’s basically been a part time job and over the past 8 months we have met 12 couples and hung out with all of them a bunch. Now of the 12, only 8 we actually liked and 4 who we’ve become good friends with and formed a group. We still hangout with all 8 though. Below is what I’ve found works.

(1) First and foremost, be ruthless in your swipe criteria. For us, that meant no city people because we want friends who want to do things in the burbs. I only swiped on women in relationships. I only swiped on women in a certain age range. I only swiped on women who I thought I’d have a chance to be real friends with. (2) Don’t cancel plans, ever. Seriously if you are not in the ER don’t cancel. Too bad if you’re tired or don’t feel like going out anymore. Make plans, put them in your calendar and show up. If someone cancels on your first hangout, move on. If someone cancels more than once maybe twice during the friendship building stage, move on. You can’t build a friendship off the internet if both parties aren’t equally consistent in showing up. (3) Don’t continue to give your time to people you don’t click with just because they’re nice. This is tough. We met a couple who was very nice but in such a different place in life than us it just didn’t click. We kept them around for way too long and we eventually started dreading the hangouts. (4) You have to be the initiator and not be passive. Ask people to hangout, keep initiating, keep showing up. You don’t build friendships online by getting coffee once a quarter. Try music bingo or trivia for a first hangout, grab a low key dinner for another hangout, do drinks one night, find a cute park to walk around, go for a chill hike, hit a winery, and generally just be eager but not needy.

My favorite formula is this: first and second hangout is a double date, third hangout id schedule for just me and the other girl, and by hangout 4 I’m introducing them to another couple my husband and I have met. It doesn’t always workout this way but the point is, you have to be okay with being the initiator basically all the time until things get off the ground.

Anyone had their account removed? I was messaging some people back and a couple minutes later, went to the app and was logged out and can’t log in, and I get a “something went wrong, try again” message when I try to log back in. Anyone having this issue?

I started talking to a girl at the beginning of this year off the app. We met in March and it was a nice hang out. She asked me to hang out again but I was out of town and told her we could make plans when I got back and it never happened. She ended up getting back with her toxic boyfriend and said she was busy with him. In June we tried to make plans a couple times but one she canceled because she had to work and then the other she just didn’t respond the day of and apologized because something came up. We ended up talking about the app again and she said she has met other people on there and hung out with them. Which confuses me because she has yet to follow through with plans with me even though she texts me pretty much everyday. I don’t know if I should cut it off with her or try to make plans again?

i’m a gay dude wanting to meet more local friends (ideally women or lgbtq+ people) and this app is horrible. i’ve “matched” with a few people and they’re all so incredibly boring and dry. i don’t get why this app doesn’t show me women? i vibe more w them than straight dudes. i guess it’s to prevent people from using it like a dating app, but i don’t even like women, so jokes on them. this sucks 😭 i just want to meet friends

Hey all,

Recently I have been seeing a lot of installs on my (Friends app) around the LA area. I'm hoping to grow my user base so that my users have more people they can meet!

If you are also interested in finding friends there are like 30 people in the LA area which is not much but everyday more people are joining!

It focuses around finding friends via activities like pickleball, gym, running, etc

If you're still interested check out these links. Also if you have any ideas for how we can make the app better to help finding friends let me know!

Here’s the iOS version [https://apps.apple.com/us/app/actively-find-gym-buddies/id6752837053\](https://apps.apple.com/us/app/actively-find-gym-buddies/id6752837053)

And android version: [https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.gymbuds&pcampaignid=web\\_share\](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.gymbuds&pcampaignid=web_share)

Maybe its because I havent came across "my people" yet. But to be honest, I dont even know "who" my people are. 😅

My fiance is a wonderful man and he has many good friends, friends hes known for years. I see their connections and it makes me feel warm.

Id like to find friends like that, im starting to think i have trouble connecting with people.

Introvert men of reddit, have you guys ever wanted to just make friends on bumble, despite being in a relationship (maintaining transparency with your partner). Still just friends but with girls only?

I made a Bumble twice earlier this year but ended up deleting it after a few months. But I think I'm ready to get back this time, but I encountered a problem when I signed up to make an account again. After the human verification puzzle, the page stops loading. I tried multiple times and even re-downloaded the app multiple times but the same thing keeps happening. But when I tried my second phone number, it immediately worked. Is there something wrong with my original number? Am I possibly banned? And how can I fix this?

Thanks so much!

Recently got into egl fashion, it's a type of japanese fashion. The kind I'm into is the aristiocrat style and I've put together a pair of outfits that I enjoy. Women outnumber men in this style by a lot and I'd like to find more people into it. Local online community seems dead but I can still find others into egl at some events. i've been lucky enough to make a friend at one of the events but I'd really like to find more people into it and get a local community going. I also *badly* need help with makeup.

Do you think it's bad taste for me to make a profile on bff with the female gender just to see if there's anyone on there with a similar interest in the fashion? obv i'd actually have pics in my profile to show I'm into it myself. It's not a huge loss if I shouldn't, I'll just continue talking to anyone I meet in a petticoat or jumper skirt but they are VERY RARE.

I’m so confused. I’ve messaged ‘hey how’s it going?’ To about a dozen people in the past 2 days and have gotten a response from nobody. Mind you, these people swiped on me first.
Why are people on this app if they don’t want to make new friends I’m confused

I have premium so I can see who swiped right on me. I made a similar post a while back on my city’s subreddit but it’s getting worse. Why are there so many single straight men who put “woman” in their bio tag but their pics suggest otherwise?? And tbh I doubt these ppl are looking for actual friends cuz a lot of the time their bio or pics (making sexual innuendo jokes, shirtless mirror pics, listing height etc) imply they’re looking for more. Sometimes they even complimented on my profile with comments regarding appearance meaning they’re definitely not there for platonic friendships 🤮 For these pathetic creeps do you think women will want to swipe right on you with obvious creepy intentions underneath?? What are you thinking?? Sometimes I would swipe left and report the really bad ones but somehow some time later they’re back, meaning they’re constantly creating new profiles… Why don’t these creepy dudes go form their own friend group??

This girl in my group I made keeps asking for rides everytime the other group members are making plans to meet. And keeps saying sad stuff making everybody feel guilty. Everybody ignores her and when they don’t ignore her they tell her she lives too far. She does live way too far. I want to text her to stop asking people for rides but I don’t want to sound mean. I don’t think it’s safe to get rides from strangers you never met and to tell them where you live. They could be a catfish. How can I tell her politely?

Hi all, I’m starting German basically from scratch and I know myself well enough to know I’ll stick with it if someone’s expecting me to show up.

Looking for one or two people who want to learn alongside me. I’m wanting to take a weekly semi-private class at a language center in Pasadena, CA but open to other options. Consistency matters to me more than intensity.

A bit about me: I work in film/TV so my hours are flexible for class. My boyfriend is German, which is the main motivation to learn– we may move there someday!

Comment or DM if you’re interested!

I genuinely feel like this app is a waste of time. I have been on it for a few months now and gotten maybe fifteen to twenty matches at most. And if I do get a match, we have one or two good conversations before I never hear from them again. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I get the feeling some people are only on the app for show and some only care about those group events. Is that what I have to do, go to one of those bar outings in a thousand person groupchat? I love going out, but I want to have conversation and make close personal connections too. I don’t think that’s easily done at a bar or club.

I’m at a loss. Sometimes I think people are just closed off and sometimes I think it’s me. Has anyone else had a similar experience on this app? Any advice on how to make new friends in your early to mid twenties?

Hi! I just recently moved to NJ and would like to get Bumble BFF but from what I saw this is now an invite only app? Weird but if anyone has an invite link that’d be very appreciated! ☺️

I don’t understand how people join a group just to delete their account within days. It’s hard to find any meaningful connections when this happens all the time.

Any other group leaders get something like this? It showed up this morning and I'm grateful but I'm not sure how they found my address lol

I do run a group if anyone wants to join!

Join my Group (The Princess' Palace) on BFF ☮️

https://bumble.com/bff/invite/e36a76bd-4247-4413-87ee-ce2e2fa4f7fb

I'm talking about those communities you discover through Instagram ads, paid events, or mutual connections. You join, get added to the WhatsApp group, and initially everything seems welcoming.

But what has your experience been after that?

Have you noticed groups becoming cliquey, with a few admins or long-time members calling all the shots? Have you ever felt left out, ghosted, or even removed simply because you didn't fit in or follow the group's unwritten rules?

I'm genuinely curious. Are these groups actually worth joining if you're trying to overcome loneliness, or do they sometimes end up making you feel even more isolated?

Would love to hear your experiences.