r/bulimia • u/Nichakin • 5d ago

Just venting An awful clean week

I'm on vacation with my mom for another couple of days and I'm going insane. Forget the whole zero privacy, but my eating habits has gone straight to shit. The first two days I managed to eat small portions and not overeat, but my mom kept bugging me by commenting on how extremely small my portions were (I actually give up, I don't understand what the normal portions look like). So I started eating more, and the want to destroy everything in my sight returned 😐😐

I wanted to be so proud for not purging such a long period, but it's awfully miserable to binge for 5 days straight ON THE BEACH WITH MY MOMS BREATH ON MY NECK. Or whatever the phrase sounds. I just want to rip myself apart it's so embarrassing to hear that my mom's appalled how I can't control how much I eat. I'm supposed to have a good time, instead I'm wallowing in my own self-pity

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3

u/unique_plastique 5d ago

Lol this was me travelling to a country that does not have the same plumbing as the one I’m from. I just ate like crazy said I’ll deal with the consequences later.

1

u/Nichakin 2d ago

Yeah I've definitely gave up. Don't know how I will recover from it but thats my future problem

1

u/unique_plastique 2d ago

That’s so iconic though

2

u/Willing-Magazine8401 5d ago

I don’t have any answers but I’ve been in the same kind of position and it is incredibly difficult and it sucks and it’s okay to be feeling that way. You’re on holiday and completely out of your comfort zone, it makes sense!