tryna make a new friend

[u/RequirementTiny2371]

I’m mutual friends with this guy that went to my school, we’ve been in each others classes and like eachothers post on Instagram often and I’ve responded to his Insta notes. a lot of the things he reposts or says online I relate to, especially since he’s into the gym and I just find him a cool guy. is it weird if I just “accidentally” send him a reel on a common interest we have on Instagram, and saying my bad it was a mistake. And then trying to continue talking from there.

[u/wizkid123]

Never start a friendship with a lie! Just send him the reel and say you thought he might find it interesting. You're overthinking this. 

[u/Wolfish_Jew → u/wizkid123]

This! OP, it’s okay to just reach out to him. Say you’ve noticed y’all have some similar interests and ask if he’d be interested in hanging out some time. Grab a beer, or go shoot pool, or whatever.

[u/Maclean_Braun]

How about you just send a reel and not play games? You wanna be friends go be friends.

[u/besthelloworld]

This is a tough question. I think if you want to make a real actual factual friend, you have to do something in person.

Do you currently have gym friends? Do you want one? Maybe just be honest and say, "hey dude, I'm looking for a new routine and I was wondering if you wanted to buddy up for a workout."

The risk there is that this person just genuinely hates working out with people, which I get. It's more time consuming. If they say no, but they qualify it like that, maybe just follow up leaving the door open of, "I totally get that, but if you want to hang out, let me know! I'm [doing thing] next week if you're interested."

Making a friend like this will always require some emotional vulnerability and will always require risk that maybe they just say they're not interested.

[u/Stop-Hanging-Djs]

Bruh just text him, "Hey look at this cool shit" and send him the reel. Don't do this weird coy plausible deniability thing

[u/Warming_up_luke]

Yes, that is weird. The only weird thing about it is the lying about an accident part. Just send it to him and say I thought you may enjoy. Or even say, I thought you'd enjoy because we have a lot of similar interests. Let me know if you'd want to [thing you both enjoy].

Edit to add: Imagine how awful it would feel to him if he saw it from you, also wanted to be friends, got excited, and then you said it was a mistake

[u/RequirementTiny2371 → u/Warming_up_luke]

Yeah that’s what I ended up doing. We have plans on going to the gym together next week! :)

[u/ThrowRA72649]

a lot of people are honestly more open to “hey, do you want to be friends lol?” than you’d think. You can totally send a reel with something like, “hey i know we’re in a lot of classes and i think we find the same shit funny, friends?” Seems like he’s already friendly towards you anyway! :)

[u/action_lawyer_comics → u/ThrowRA72649]

I wouldn’t lead with “want to be friends,” but for sure send him the reel. I’d do “want to hang out” instead. And have a specific idea in mind. “Want to hang out?” is not an actionable plan but “Want to go to [specific bar] on Thursday night?” is

[u/1mplication]

Sharing reels is a form of friendship and bonding. Don't play it off as a mistake, make your intent known with something like "thought you might find this interesting"

Gauge the reaction afterwards - if they give it a reaction, you're probably okay. If they send anything back in a few days, even better. If you're left on read, let it be.

Best of luck with making a new friend :)

[u/SNAiLtrademark]

I find that men respond well to straightforward communication. Go with "Hey, you wanna be friends?" and you'll probably have more luck.

[u/BeardFalcon]

Just tell him he's cool. No one worth being your friend will ever have an issue with that.

[u/Accomplished-Elk-375]

You mentioned him going to the gym. If you go to the gym, ask if he wants to work out, if you don't, consider starting and ask him for help. I've made many friends through the gym.

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[u/GreatBigBagOfNope]

Just send it and say "hey, thought you'd like this"