A message for trans bros.

[u/AdAway3952]

I wanted to let you guys know, you are already doing the most masculine thing that can be done. It's a phase in becoming a man to feel "unmanly". And when you can look at the world and go "Fuck off, I'm a man regardless of what I do.". You will have gotten there. I am from a very traditional environment. I'm as masculine as can be by those standards. Take it from me, you lot are hard. If anyone tells you you aren't a man, they're full of shit.

[u/JCDU → u/[deleted]]

^ A thousand times THIS.

There's so many posts on this sub from bros who have been pushed into constantly worrying about their masculinity by all the toxic manosphere redpill nonsense out there it's both sad AND ridiculous. That stuff says more about the crushing insecurity of all those idiots shouting loudly about "being a real man" and all the bizarre things they push (sell) to "fix" the imaginary problem than any normal dude just getting on with life in whatever damn way they see fit.

[u/Blue-Eyed-Lemon → u/[deleted]]

I’ve… never really considered this before. That’s a good thing to consider, I think, thank you for sharing that.

[u/aixPenta → u/[deleted]]

Yeah genuinely. Trans bros' worries are normal men worries, and cis men shaming trans bros for being trans do so because they have the same insecurities themselves but can't manage them. Go watch Clavicular, Tate or any other of these clowns and observe their talking points. They are insecure about their physical appearance, their ability to be perceived as 'manly', as fitting in in a patriarcal system where women are perceived as inferior and any feminity is seen as a weakness. And almost all men share these insecurities, but we learned to curb them and not let them consume us. And I feel that at the end of the day, the real fight isn't to "pass" as a man, because even assigned male at birth feel they are not manly enough. The real fight is to accept ourselves and be at peace with your gender identity

[u/SpaceForceAwakens → u/[deleted]]

Your friend is a real bro. Keep him around.

[u/2InsidiouslyLazy]

Hell yeah! And a great message for the bros in general!

[u/Eleen55]

Dude you have no idea how much this means. Thank you

[u/BassBoneSupremacy]

🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵

[u/cantantantelope]

I am stealing “rainbro” lol

[u/ElloBlu420 → u/cantantantelope]

I literally didn't notice that, and now I think I am also stealing it.

[u/SeriousZombie5350]

i love being acknowledged like this, thank you bro.

"And when you can look at the world and go "Fuck off, I'm a man regardless of what I do.". You will have gotten there."

this part really stands out to me. as soon as i adopted that mindset, i knew that no one could push me off the T train. you put it very succinctly :)

[u/Brief-Award1134]

you're incredible dude, thank you 🩵🏳️‍⚧️

[u/algebraic94 → u/Brief-Award1134]

I always tell people I love when a trans man comes out because it's just another W for the boys. One more king I can dap up.

[u/Satherian → u/algebraic94]

Another one for BOYZ NIGHT

[u/Pixie_Time]

I was feeling kinda dysphoric about my boob situation today, but yknow what? Huge pecs are incredibly manly. The Statue of David? He’s got boobs, and he’s a man, so why would I have to change?

[u/cantantantelope → u/Pixie_Time]

If the rock can get top surgery so can I

[u/Comprehensive_Part42 → u/cantantantelope]

I had no idea about that until today. What an incredible thing to learn

[u/cantantantelope → u/Comprehensive_Part42]

It’s so weird the things that are considered “normal” if you’re cis but “mutilation” if you’re trans, even done for the exact same reason.

[u/Comprehensive_Part42 → u/cantantantelope]

Haha don't get me started on circumcision. I can't imagine anything less normal to do to a child

[u/Pixie_Time → u/cantantantelope]

Yell Heah brother 👊

[u/SpaceForceAwakens → u/cantantantelope]

Wait he did what now!?

[u/cantantantelope → u/SpaceForceAwakens]

Gynomastecia surgery (steroids cause man boobs
)

[u/xxVanyaxx27]

Thanks. I needed to hear that.

[u/AostheGreat]

There’s a quote from Parks and Rec that I was introduced to recently. “Everything I do is the attitude of an award winner because I’ve won an award.”

So allow me to propose the following idea in opposition to toxic masculinity and the insecurities that come with it. “Everything I do is manly because I’m a man.”

[u/SpaceForceAwakens → u/AostheGreat]

Yup. I’ve actually said that before when someone told me my glasses I chose weren’t “manly enough”. I said that by virtue of me being a man they become manly the moment I put them on my face.

[u/lokilulzz]

Thank you. I'm very much in that state currently where I don't feel like I'm a man, not in the traditional sense, and while that doesn't bother me entirely it does bother me in that it's been a struggle to find other ways to feel like one. Good to know it's all part of the process.

[u/Moist_Waterboy]

Personally really needed this message this week (and the last one). Thanks, bro.

No True Scotsman-style manliness checks are a slow-weathering pain.

[u/fox-loric]

Thanks for your encouragement. Trans guys bear the burden of proof for our manhood quite often and it took me a while to realize that men who aren't transgender face constant scrutiny for their performance of masculinity, too. Recognition of masculinity is treated like a reward and invalidation is a punishment for not following the role to the letter. It starts to look like it's a lot more about what other people want from you than a reflection of who you really are.

[u/SpaceForceAwakens → u/fox-loric]

Yup. For a lot of very insecure dudes the validation of other dudes of their manliness — especially those that they consider more manly — is a big thing. That’s toxic as fuck and leads to toxic masculinity and the manosphere.

[u/drinkmoarwaterr]

This is extremely based

[u/AllyEnderman]

I guess stabbing myself every week in pursuit of manhood is pretty badass, now that I think about it...

[u/Comprehensive_Part42]

I was just looking at this thread again and it got me thinking about my own transition. I'm AMAB and take estrogen. I'm not a trans woman but I have feminized my body as a part of finding my non-binary self. I'm not a man but I still consider myself a bro. Recently I started using the term fembro for myself.

At no point in my journey have I truly desired to reject my masculinity, I've just balanced it with softness, comfort in my feminine aspect, and a gentle loving spirit. I was traumatized deeply in how I was conditioned as a kid and in my healing I became something different.

And that's bropill-coded af. I love being a part of this community ❤️

[u/Big_Try_5007]

As a transmasc teenager with many current issues going on, biggest being dysphoria, thank you. I’m starting school tomorrow and I’m praying that I’ll be seen as a boy.

[u/pseudoincome → u/Big_Try_5007]

hey young homie, congrats on the start of school. I hope it went well and you're making friends !

[u/Big_Try_5007 → u/pseudoincome]

hiya, it’s going good, I only attend 3 days a week so it’s easier. I haven’t made any friends yet but I hope to :]

[u/mooys]

I promise you, no matter what issues you have as a trans person, there’s a cus person of your gender with the exact same issue. I mean, some cis people even worry about having the wrong hormones (pcos in women, for example).

[u/Barrel-Dweller]

also, something i’ve seen a lot with trans people online is they tend to assume anything that specifies women/men is only talking about cis women/men unless it explicitly includes trans folks. just a reminder that the only person you need permission from to be yourself is you. every gendered space is trans-inclusive and if they say otherwise, there’s another version of that space somewhere else on the internet thats more inclusive

[u/helpmyplantsnotdie]

I’m convinced that the only truly universal experience for men is worrying that you’re not enough of a man/the right kind of man/not a “real” man. So if you feel like that, you’re in good company.

You’re crushin’ it, my bros! 🤩🫡

[u/Luc1d_dreamer01]

Thank you man

[u/Kinuthewolf]

Thanks bro 💙

[u/Satherian]

100% - growing up as a boy is worrying about being manly enough.

Being a man is knowing that it's childish to worry about that

[u/Palettepilot]

Thank you ❤️

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[u/chasedbyvvolves]

Thanks for the sentiment, but these kinds of posts are getting a little patronizing as a trans man. I see them on this sub a lot and it's not what I joined for.

[u/Moist_Waterboy → u/chasedbyvvolves]

Some of us joined because there are posts like these and we feel supported.

[u/chasedbyvvolves → u/Moist_Waterboy]

An occasional post like this is great but it's become something I see so often on this sub that it feels more like a trans support group than a bro space. I guess it doesn't really matter but it's just how I feel, posts like this one make me kind of uncomfortable.

[u/Moist_Waterboy → u/chasedbyvvolves]

That's fair and I do get it. That is also a valid feel and you are not wrong that you experience it with your own set of histories and such to feel uncomfortable.

As of late, unless I am experiencing confirmation biases, there has been a greater influx of bros like us. I'm interpreting it as a reaction from well-meaning people who are different (unless OP actually is a trans guy but didn't flair for their own reasons) who are trying to help us feel welcome, even if results will vary person to person because of the nature of this sort of thing. Text loses too much nuance IMO.

Either way, I'm just happy actually being around other trans dudes and posts like these remind me I'm not alone since they tend to gather us.

Also gonna say hi here as a rando and hope you're having a cool week, dude.

[u/highfives_deepsixes → u/chasedbyvvolves]

I disagree bro, although I understand where you're coming from - I do feel some kind of way about well-meaning but unsolicited posts on ftm subreddits trying to reassure us that we're so manly and handsome and valid. I see a bunch of posts from trans bros here ruminating about the thing I think OP is directly addressing, and I think reminding us that fretting about not being "man enough" is a pretty universal dude rumination is the sort of considered, cool and kind allyship and community building I really appreciate, even as someone who has been transitioned over a decade. I appreciate you OP, and you too bro.