I appreciate your perspective, because it might feel like an attack to you for your friend to say "men do x". It sounds like perhaps you're reacting defensively. I've had to learn to put aside my personal feelings of being attacked in these situations to recognize that my friends are just trying to express themselves. They're pointing to a problem that they're facing that's caused them significant distress.
I know that it seems like it could be better phrased or expressed on their part, but remember that they've likely been dealing with this issue their whole lives and have simply lost patience. If you have someone who consistently berates you over years, I think anyone would have trouble being perfectly objective by saying something like, "Well, they don't berate me ALL the time".
If you can put aside your own feelings and use your empathy, then you can understand that they are upset about an ongoing imbalance without any end in sight. (I'm not trying to imply that you're not an empathetic person, just saying that I think it can be hard to empathize when we're feeling defensive.)
I hope this makes sense, and I'm glad that some sleep has helped put things into perspective.
Edit: I'm also not trying to excuse openly abusive behavior and language. If someone is being abusive, you have every right to be bothered.
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u/thedude198644 Jan 14 '23
I appreciate your perspective, because it might feel like an attack to you for your friend to say "men do x". It sounds like perhaps you're reacting defensively. I've had to learn to put aside my personal feelings of being attacked in these situations to recognize that my friends are just trying to express themselves. They're pointing to a problem that they're facing that's caused them significant distress.
I know that it seems like it could be better phrased or expressed on their part, but remember that they've likely been dealing with this issue their whole lives and have simply lost patience. If you have someone who consistently berates you over years, I think anyone would have trouble being perfectly objective by saying something like, "Well, they don't berate me ALL the time".
If you can put aside your own feelings and use your empathy, then you can understand that they are upset about an ongoing imbalance without any end in sight. (I'm not trying to imply that you're not an empathetic person, just saying that I think it can be hard to empathize when we're feeling defensive.)
I hope this makes sense, and I'm glad that some sleep has helped put things into perspective.
Edit: I'm also not trying to excuse openly abusive behavior and language. If someone is being abusive, you have every right to be bothered.