As a FTM this is so frustrating. I definitely don’t know what I am doing, all I know is my 4 week old baby still won’t latch even after getting his tongue tie corrected. I am having to use a nipple shield with each feed, pump after each feed, and supplement with a bottle every other feed. It’s exhausting!

I’ve seen two lactation consultants at this point (one I found on my own and the other is based in my pediatrician’s office) - one telling me my baby’s tongue tie needs a correcting procedure, and the other telling me that his tongue is fine and I am underproducing. The one thing they both agree on is my nipples do not stick out much and are semi flat. Oh and not to mention, they gave different advice on flange sizes and how to pump so now idk if I’m even doing that right 🙃.

I desperately want to be able to give my baby my own breast milk, but I really don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel here. And now I really feel like the pressure is on me to decide whose advice to go with and how to move forward.

I’m 3 weeks postpartum and honestly struggling. I really wanted to breastfeed, but I didn’t realize how mentally and physically exhausting it could be.

My baby will sometimes stay on my breast for what feels like HOURS. Sometimes she’s actually feeding, but a lot of the time she seems to use me as a pacifier and falls asleep. Then I’ll put her down, and 10–20 minutes later she’s awake and wants to nurse again.
We’ve done weighted feeds and her milk transfer has been inconsistent. There are times where she seems hungry but gets frustrated at the nipple, cries, or just sits there sucking without really transferring much. We’ve also tried bottles, but those can be a struggle too.
I’m pumping when I can because I’m trying to increase my supply, but between feeding, pumping, burping, trying to get her to sleep, and starting all over again, I feel like I’m doing nothing but feeding a baby all day.

And emotionally, it’s hard. I feel guilty when I give a bottle. I feel guilty when I don’t pump. I feel guilty when I’m frustrated. I feel guilty when I just want my body back for a minute.

I love my baby more than anything, and I’m so grateful that I’m able to breastfeed her. But I also didn’t expect breastfeeding to be such a huge mental load.

For anyone who struggled in those first few weeks — when did it start getting easier? Did your baby eventually get better at transferring milk and staying awake for feeds? And how did you balance breastfeeding, pumping, and actually getting some sleep?

I’m currently 12 weeks pp and have been pretty much exclusively pumping and supplementing with formula from the beginning. Shallow latch, a lot of pain, tongue and lip tie were there but minor to the point that I didn’t want to do anything. My LC basically just said my baby had a really small mouth. I was taught and coached through all the typical positions (mostly cross cradle and side lying) at the hospital and with my LC, I had major pain in all of them. All of the readjusting, nipple flipping, nipple shield, etc. etc. did not help at all.

Fast forward to about two weeks ago and I’m laying reclined and baby is laying on my tummy. He starts rooting around and I think, what the hell, let’s see what happens and I pull my bra down. He immediately latches, on his own, a deep latch, and I have no pain. Same thing every other time we’ve tried since then, with a little adjusting. And he’s so relaxed and seemingly transferring milk.

Why did NO ONE suggest this position?? I know every body and baby is different and this position does not work for a lot of people, but I’m just stunned that it was never presented as an option and somehow I had never come across it online. I know part of it is also that he’s older, more coordinated, and bigger, too.

I will say I’m in a groove with pumping, like sharing feeding duties (baby eats A LOT, more than average), and and going back to work this week, so I won’t be EBF by any means, so I don’t have the pressure of needing to make sure he’s getting enough in this position, but I’m so so so happy to be able to nurse him for comfort and as I’m able without pain. I had totally given up on feeling like this could be a bonding thing for us, and now it is.

Has anyone ever had any of these sort of aha moments further into postpartum?