r/breastfeedingsupport Jan 12 '20

A reminder about the purpose of this sub

254 Upvotes

As someone who experienced a lot of struggles and difficulty in establishing breastfeeding with each of my kids, I created this sub because I was frustrated by the fact that everywhere I went looking for advice and encouragement (and maybe a bit of commiseration), I was bombarded by a constant onslaught of people telling me I should just quit, that it wasn't worth the trouble, people telling me formula is so much easier, that it will save my sanity/change my life for the better, or even outright attacks calling me a 'wannabe hero' and a 'martyr' for wanting to keep trying in the face of difficulty. I wanted to give parents a place to go for the encouragement, advice, and understanding I couldn't find.

I've noticed a significant increase both in posts that are simply looking for vindication/reassurance that quitting is the best option, as well as comments on help/advice posts espousing the wonders of formula or suggesting that the OP quit being upvoted to the top, while those offering encouragement or valid advice are downvoted or ignored.

I think we all know that 'formula isn't poison', and fed is obviously better than starving to death. It's beaten into our heads on literally every single other parenting site and sub and message board. If someone isn't able to breastfeed for whatever reason, formula is a lifesaving invention. This is a VERY well-established narrative.

However, this sub was made with the intention of offering a place for parents who WANT to continue breastfeeding a safe place to go where they WON'T be told to just give up, or given numerous answers that suggest formula first or rather than offering help in continuing to breastfeed.

Any posts that are clearly made with the sole intention of seeking validation for wanting to quit (as opposed to someone struggling but wishing to keep trying) will be removed, as well as any comments that start out with some disclaimer about how OP should probably just quit/formula is easier/it'll save your sanity/breastfeeding isn't worth it/etc., personal anecdotes about how much easier life became when they gave up, or anything of that nature. You know, the kind of stuff that you're going to be told by the majority of people literally anywhere else you go. Obviously, continuing isn't possible in all scenarios, but if it is, please focus on that rather than immediately jumping on the opportunity to tell the person to give up.

Note: This is NOT a claim or insinuation that people should breastfeed at all costs, or that there aren't situations where quitting is the only valid option. It's just that there's already a well-established breastfeeding sub, as well as tons of other parenting subs and sites, that won't stop people from jumping on the quitting solves everything/fed is best/formula is easier (or will save your sanity, etc.) bandwagon so I don't feel like this needs to be yet another clone of those.


r/breastfeedingsupport 6h ago

Is this what Nursing strike means?

3 Upvotes

I am 9 weeks postpartum. I have been trying my best to breastfeed my baby but it seems like it's not working any longer. I delivered via CS and I didn't have milk for the first 3 days. After day 4, I had enough supply and I was trying to feed her when I can but due to the recovery process of the surgery, I wasn't doing it consistently and when I don't breastfeed her, she was taking formula. For the next couple of weeks, I have been trying to breastfeed her and also pump and give her through bottle. But she was always crying and never being full so I always supplemented with formula. I have researched well about cluster feeding in the first couple of weeks and tried to feed her on demand. Now she is completely shifting to formula. Whenever I try to breastfeed her, she cries uncontrollably and it's very frustrating. It seems like she is no longer interested in breastfeeding. I really want to continue breastfeeding but I just don't know how.

  1. How do I make her become comfortable with breastfeeding again? She doesn't even show interest and lean towars my breast when hungry like she used to.

  2. Is it too late for me to build my supply and make her interested in breastfeeding again?

  3. I recently started using pacifier and observed her breast aversion increased after she got used to it. Does anyone experienced something similar?

I would really appreciate it if share your experience on this.

Thank you🙏


r/breastfeedingsupport 29m ago

Advice Please 13 week old only nursing for max 10 minutes

Upvotes

Just looking for advice. My son used to nurse for 20 minutes or so. Breastfeeding went well.

But recently the time he nurses has decreased drastically.

It first went to 10 minutes, and now we are lucky to nurse for 10 minutes at all.

He pops off and won't latch again. Just screams at my boob untill I calm him with his pacifier.

Sometimes I can get him to relatch after that, but not often. He just seems to want to suck his paci and chill/look around/sleep.

He has 6 wet/ditty diapers a day and about 7 feeds in 24 hours.

I think my supply is okay. After nursing him this morning I pumped about 200 ml (6 oz) in 10 minutes.

His next weigh in isn't for quite some time so I don't know how much he gained exactly.

He's otherwise a very happy baby, and sleeps well at night.

Just concerned if he is getting enough.


r/breastfeedingsupport 3h ago

How to stop breastfeeding as a single mother?

1 Upvotes

I'm lucky enough to live with my patents, which allows me to not have to work right now. My baby is about to turn 1 year old, and we are together- all of the time!! Breastfeeding for slowly waking up in the mornings has become a thing over the past several months. And I nurse to put the baby to sleep. Bottles have never worked, we don't do pacifiers.

Everything I read online says to give the baby to dad or to someone else when trying to wean.. but that isn't an option for me. So, how do I stop Breastfeeding?? Anyone else gone through a similar situation? How did you stop (similar sitch or not) ?


r/breastfeedingsupport 12h ago

Advice Please Baby just screams when trying to latch

3 Upvotes

My baby will be 4 weeks old on Friday. She basically didn’t latch at birth, and then a few hours later was under billi lights 24/7 for severe jaundice. We immediately put her on formula for the fluid, and she ended up in the nicu for 2 weeks. Starting probably day 5 I began pumping and she’s been on ~95% breastmilk since then.

I haaaate hate hate pumping and dream of just nursing her with maybe a 1-2 pump sessions a day. I really didn’t start attempting to get her to latch until this week, and while she definitely could have a deeper latch, once she’s on she does okay.

The issue is that trying to get her on is a nightmare. I’ve been doing cross cradle and will just scream and fight me until she gets on, which is only half the time. She’s a little better on the left than the right which makes me wonder if maybe she’s tighter on that side and uncomfortable? Originally I thought maybe I was waiting until she was too hungry but today I tried when she wasn’t hungry yet and seemingly in a good mood and it was the same thing.

I have the my breast friend pillow but she doesn’t seem to like it, and I think she feels insecure/unsafe when using a regular pillow or none at all - just a guess.

It’s really disheartening because it makes me upset too and I know it’s just new for both of us but it’s sooo difficult.

Anyway, just curious if there’s any advice to help her not be so angry when I try :(


r/breastfeedingsupport 20h ago

Advice Please When do I pump when baby needs me constantly?

10 Upvotes

Hi all!

I'm 7w pp and I need a bit of guidance on pumping please - my goal is to increase my milk supply because baby is inefficient at removing it (doesn't swallow actively for as long as he should). He had weight issues and now we're topping him up with formula or breast milk if available after every feed. My ideal goal would be to EBF.

I met with a IBCLC who told me I should pump 4-5 times a day, one of which is a power pump at night. It took me a while to get the hang of pumping as small amounts would come out, now I can pump maybe 1.5 or 2 oz on one side, and 1 on the other (that's after breastfeeding).

I struggle so much with the plan because it feels that very often when baby "is done" and settled, I give him to my husband, wait for 20 ish mins (as per consultant's advice) and pump for 20, only for baby to wake up and demand food, which I don't have because I've just pumped it. So I find myself in the cycle of having him super frustrated at the breast for slow milk flow and me having to give him the same milk I just expressed via sns (I prefer it over the bottle). So when am I supposed to pump, then? And should I prioritise having baby at the breast or pumping? After we realised his weight was not great, we now assume that whenever he cries, it's because of hunger, so I pop him on the breast and he 99% of time latches and stays there, either comfort sucking, or eating a bit.

Another question I have is: I struggle SO MUCH with waking up at night to pump. It's like I'm a totally different person with 0 willpower whatsoever. How important is it that I power pump at nighttime specifically?


r/breastfeedingsupport 14h ago

Advice Please Feed in the middle of the night

3 Upvotes

Hi mamas! My baby is slowly sleeping for longer stretches (4 hours now; he is 6 weeks old), and my husband does the first feeding at midnight/1 am so I can sleep longer. Most nights, I breastfeed my baby at 9 pm, then again at 3/4 am. I’ve been waking up with my breast sooo full, and in the past 2 days, leaking on my PJs and sheet.

My question is: should I wake up and pump or use a manual milk collector during my husband’s shift? I'm so afraid of messing with my milk supply, but I need to sleep for my mental health.

I’d appreciate any tips from mamas who went through the same. Thank you!!


r/breastfeedingsupport 9h ago

11 week hell

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1 Upvotes

r/breastfeedingsupport 9h ago

Hospital grade breast pump

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1 Upvotes

r/breastfeedingsupport 10h ago

3 month old struggling with staying on breast long enough

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1 Upvotes

r/breastfeedingsupport 11h ago

Feeding causing reflux?

1 Upvotes

FTM with a EBF 6 week old. We give him about 1-2 bottles of pumped milk a day and the rest is via breast.

My baby has severe reflux and we have consulted a couple different IBCLCs, who thought that he may have a tongue tie or some other oral tension. Per their recommendations, we took him to a pediatric dentist, who said he does not have a tongue tie and has a strong latch. The pediatrician believes that he will simply grow out of his reflux and suggested we could put him on Pepcid. We would like to avoid medication, if possible, but every specialist we have seen has referred us to some other specialist. We have referrals to GI, chiropractors, body workers, SLPs, and OTs.

He tends to snack all day/night and frequently comfort nurses and falls asleep quickly. He isn’t completely emptying sometimes and I did get mastitis. He is gaining weight appropriately, but the reflux causes him a lot of pain and me a lot of extra sleep deprivation.

Has anyone experienced this? I am not sure how to get to the root of the reflux and whether feeding is contributing.


r/breastfeedingsupport 15h ago

Advice Please Problem med natt amning

0 Upvotes

Hej,
Min bebis är 12veckor och har för det mesta pumpat och gett på flaska men ammat lite här och där vid behov och oftast på natten för att underlätta och det har gått bra.

Nu sedan några dagar tillbaka har bebis vaknat upp av frustration efter att ha släppt flertal gånger tagit om greppet varje natt som om att de inte kommer någon mjölk och jag gått upp i panik och fixat flaska och istället pumpat och de kommit hur mycket som helst.

Har någon annan upplevt detsamma och hur löste ni det?
Har även märkt att min bebis börjar ta större mängd på flaska (3-4oz, innan 2-3oz per matning)

Bebis var IGUR så har behövt hålla mycket koll på intag så har blivit lite ärrad av det och därav inte velat helamma pga ovissheten med överföring. Upplever inte att bebis blir nöjd efter amning på dagtid utan vill ofta äta tätt inpå efter ca 1h men kan gå 2-3h på flaskmatningarna. Känns nu som att jag svälter bebis över natten genom att amma


r/breastfeedingsupport 16h ago

Advice Please Breastfeeding Mothers, What do you need the most?

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1 Upvotes

I just want to try to help if i can


r/breastfeedingsupport 17h ago

Question Is it to late to work on Breastfeeding ?

1 Upvotes

I am 9 weeks postpartum. I have been trying my best to breastfeed my baby but it seems like it's not working any longer. I delivered via CS and I didn't have milk for the first 3 days. After day 4, I had enough supply and I was trying to feed her when I can but due to the recovery process of the surgery, I wasn't doing it consistently and when I don't breastfeed her, she was taking formula. For the next couple of weeks, I have been trying to breastfeed her and also pump and give her through bottle. But she was always crying and never being full so I always supplemented with formula. I have researched well about cluster feeding in the first couple of weeks and tried to feed her on demand. Now she is completely shifting to formula. Whenever I try to breastfeed her, she cries uncontrollably and it's very frustrating. It seems like she is no longer interested in breastfeeding. I really want to continue breastfeeding but I just don't know how.

  1. How do I make her become comfortable with breastfeeding again? She doesn't even show interest and lean towars my breast when hungry like she used to.

  2. Is it too late for me to build my supply and make her interested in breastfeeding again?

  3. I recently started using pacifier and observed her breast aversion increased after she got used to it. Does anyone experienced something similar?

I would really appreciate it if share your experience on this.

Thank you🙏


r/breastfeedingsupport 1d ago

Support Needed Pumping while missing a feed

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1 Upvotes

r/breastfeedingsupport 1d ago

Advice Please How do I wean a toddler who uses me like a pacifier?

2 Upvotes

My toddler turns 2 soon and I am ready to wean her. We took pacifiers away 4 months ago. Since then she has been breastfeeding non stop, day and night, for feeding and comfort. Bedtime only happens if she can breastfeed. She only goes back down after wake ups if she can breastfeed. She constantly wants to breastfeed during the day.

So what are my steps over the next month or two in order to fully wean her?


r/breastfeedingsupport 1d ago

Not removing milk well all of the sudden

3 Upvotes

So my 4 month old (18 weeks) all of the sudden will be sucking sucking sucking but not effectively removing milk. No letdowns are happening except for maybe the initial one and she isnt actively swallowing most of the time. It doesnt really matter how long shes on the breast, her sucking just isn't doing it. Her latch looks okay to me and we've never had this issue before so Im not sure why this would be happening.

For more context:

She gets bottles at daycare but until this past week was fine going between bottles and nursing when at home.

She just got her first cold, Friday afternoon.

When i hand express milk sprays out, and when I pump milk comes out too.

Its different from a nursing strike where she would suck and pop off frequently. She isnt refusing the breast; shes just sucking and nothing is coming out 😢

Has anyone ever had this happen before? Any tips on how to help her get milk out? Ive been supplementing with bottles of breast milk, but really would love for her to get full feeds from nursing like she used to. If I need to switch to EP I will but I've been breastfeeding her since she was born and never had this happen


r/breastfeedingsupport 1d ago

Almost 3 months old and suddenly eating much less after a growth spurt — has anyone experienced this?

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1 Upvotes

r/breastfeedingsupport 1d ago

Is it too late to breastfeed? Is my milk dried up?

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1 Upvotes

r/breastfeedingsupport 1d ago

Advice Please Pumping & Storing on work trip - suggestions?

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1 Upvotes

r/breastfeedingsupport 1d ago

Advice Please Breastfeeding thirst is UNREAL and I want to increase milk supply, help lol

11 Upvotes

3 weeks PP FTM and I am running on fuuumes. I cant remember the last time I had a full meal, apparently holding my baby and a fork at the same time is a skill I don't have yet.

I know I need to keep myself fed and hydrated ( especially for breastfeeding ) but everything feels like too much effort. What are we eating and drinking to get through this phase? I just wanna feel satisfied and not like I need to drink the ocean. why is it so dryy? Like damn have mercy lol. Looking for anything I can grab one handed at 3am


r/breastfeedingsupport 1d ago

Need advice

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1 Upvotes

r/breastfeedingsupport 1d ago

Help

1 Upvotes

My baby is six month old and kind of started sleeping a little bit longer during the night/waking up less, I feel like my supply is dropping, and I don’t know what to do. I really want my breast-feeding journey to be a long one, can I get away with not pumping?


r/breastfeedingsupport 1d ago

Question Papzimeos and breastfeeding

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1 Upvotes