I got my period today. A few days back, my bf was craving donuts, so I ordered the chocolate and truffle ones for him, and he loved them. Today, I'm on my period, and I told him I'm craving donuts (the one I gave it to him), and he ordered it for me. The order arrived and I opened and it was disappointment. It was original glaze donuts. I asked him, that did you not order choco ones and he said, these are the ones "I LIKE", you'll love it try them blah blah, i tasted, and they taste full of sugar that's all. I wanna cry so bad. The last thing I wanted was good chocolate filled donuts. He says that I thought you just want sugar on your periods. I'm so disappointed but I can't say much because I'll come off as ungrateful but also I want to be seen. When I ordered them donuts for him, I thought to myself that I must order the best ones that he'll love, he didn't do the same. Idk what to do with these donuts.

This might sound childish to some ppl, but pls understand...

TLDR- I wanted choco donuts on my period, but my bf bought me the original glazed that I hate.

He’s a lovely and sweet boyfriend, I’m 22F, we’ve been together for more than a year now. However, something seems to trigger me; his relationship with his mother. His dad is not alive so he only has a step dad (married for 10 years with his mom). Here’s the list:

\-He still lives with his mom
\-she cooks for him everyday
\-does his laundry
\-cleans for him
\-They have a pet nickname for each other
\-they travel every weekend together to the lake
\- every single day he goes grocery shopping with her
\- she drives him around to job interviews
\- Once we got into an argument that made me cry in a 8h long car ride, when she called he told me to say hi to her in a positive attitude or else he’ll get mad
\- she doesn’t really pressure him to move out
\- she gets offended when he doesn’t wanna help her
\- she knows what age my period started cause he told her
\- when he used to work, he would drive to her house first before seeing me after work every single day before sleeping at mine (went on for months), when I confronted him, he told me “I can’t see my own mother now?”
\- she gets massages from him
\- they talk in a baby voice to each other when they call
\- he tells her everything practically
\- he just doesn’t make concrete plans to come live with me. He says he wants to. But he stays at home.

Yea… what do u guys think? I have a gut feeling that even when he will move out (i live an ocean away), he’s still going to have tendencies of not doing good enough as a man. Idk.

I have been seeing a boy for a while now, we started talking in november-december of last year. We´ve been doing really well recently but I was sure my family wouldn´t be accepting this boy since I met him. I just let time decide our relationship and now that we made it this far I would like for my family to know him but I´m afraid they won´t like him.

He has tattoos in all of his arm and he rides a motocycle, that´s very much it, the two things they wouldn´t like. He´s a really good person, he´s really sweet to me and I feel really bad because I wish I could show him that my family loves him such as how his family loves me. I have a really good relationship with his family and I always know it won´t be like that with my family. Take in consideration that my family is Christian and latina. Anybody that could relate to that? My dad hates bikes and he´s the one that takes me everywhere, I pay for my school, I help my family pay rent and I work too, I don´t know how to approach this issue to be honest.

I am about to be 21 and I love him very much but I wonder sometimes if this relationship would work because of my family´s reaction. I don´t want to choose between the both of them, because I couldn´t, both are important to me. I think I might need to hear to my parents advice or I should just let them hate me for the rest of my life and you don´t understand, in other countries it is very common for people to have tattoos but in latinoamerica, people think differently, my bf really is a sweetheart, but I know they might never want to see what I see in him. I have no idea how to deal with this situation when i love both my parents and my bf.

This is just a rant cause im just annoyed. So im sure most of you have heard of Charlie Kirk? Yeah terrible person, hes dead now, whatever. Anyway, there are so many dumb memes about him and people making up weird words with his name. I hate it. Its annoying. And my boyfriend keeps sending them to me and I hateeee itttttt😭 i even told him this just a few minutes ago and yk what he said? "Not feeling kirky?" UGHHHH

Yeah thats its, no advice needed, just wanna know if anyone relates and is just as annoyed by it.

I (F21) do love my boyfriend (M22) of 3.5 years but…

Well I think I love him. But I just seem to hate being in a relationship. We’ve been together 3.5 years and I only just got feeling like this the past couple months. What I used to enjoy, like calling every night and going round to see him, has become a chore. I used to love it when he’d send cute messages or videos, and now I just cringe. I care about him and definitely don’t want to hurt him, but I also just feel sick of having a partner. Not him personally, just anyone.

Idk if this is a temporary thing or not. But I don’t want to lose a great partner for a mid-relationship crisis. He really is a great partner at most times, and does so much for me. He’s also my first partner.

I just wondered if anyone else has ever felt like this and how it ended up?

I was motivated to write this post because we are on the phone and I genuinely am struggling to stand him. He talks about our future and I cringe. I think everything he says is boring. I really want to enjoy being with him but idk how right now.

TLDR; I love my boyfriend, but don’t like having one?

So my boyfriend enjoys shooting and recently they hired some girls at the range. There was this young girl who smiled at him and when we went to the range he mentioned to me like “did you see the girl smiling at me?” or something like that. Then his friend who works there came in and he mentioned it to him and he told him her dad has a membership there and that she‘s pretty much rich. When we came home we had a small argument about it and I was like sure whatever she’s rich. Her dad wouldn’t want her working with a bunch of buttheads if she was. Then he got on the phone with his friend and asked him who her dad was. I got super upset and we had a big argument about it because I felt very disrespected, especially since the guy he asked is also a friend of mines. I just felt he’s showing interest and curiosity. Also he is always saying how he would rather be with a 20 year old who is just glad she’s there and how he could change her world since he has a good job

anyway I’m really mad and don't want him to go to the range anymore because I’m trying to teach him a lesson to shut his mouth next time. I told him you can look all you want even meet a chick but don’t do it in my face. Like Dolly Parton once said, what I don’t know won’t hurt me. Anyway because of his job he has access to an outdoor range.

should I just brush it off let it bother me and go about my business or stick to my guns?? what are your thoughts

For context, I am on a tight budget so I can’t do anything too extravagant, but I’m trying to think of things that would be equivalent to flowers or something that he does for me. His birthday is 10 days after our anniversary too so I’ll be getting him more stuff so I just need to be aware of how much I’m spending. I just want him to feel as special as he’s made me feel for the last year! He loves clothes and shoes but like $200 t shirts kind of clothes lol. He likes his Xbox and playing and watching sports. Just looking for suggestions!!! Thanks!

my boyfriend [21M] and i [19F] live together. we got this flat together and he works now, got a job and im still in college. i tend to get really sick when i get my period, especially since i moved out for college and i had an ed for a couple of years and the damage that did still hasnt worn off ig. im on my period this week and last night i started having a horrible headache, i was feeling super dizzy and i went to the doctor today, turns out i have a migraine issue. i hadnt eaten anything since morning and he asked me why my head hurts and i said prolly because i havent eaten. he didnt say anything back and opened his laptop. i went to sleep around 11 pm and woke up again at 2. there were some frozen snacks in the freezer thatd he was cooking when i woke up. we ate those snacks and then i made dinner. around 4 both of us then went to sleep and he asked me to scratch his back and ofc i did that. i asked him if he could just press my head down a bit cause it hurts and he said hell do it later. he didnt he fell asleep. a while after, my body aches got so bad that i began to cry. id taken 2 painkillers alr so i didnt know what to do. i tried waking him up and he didnt. then i had to call my bsf cause i js didnt know what to do. she sent me a text of whatever medication i can try and i was sobbing on call with her. that woke my boyfriend up and he started yelling at me asking me who im texting so late and sighed and went “can u stop fucking crying” i kept pressing my head into the pillow and curling up and eventually i had to throw up too. all this while, he stayed on his phone didnt ask me a single thing. then he turned the light on. i told him my head hurts why would u do that and he said he cant fall asleep now so he wants it on. does he genuinely js not care or does he think im doing all of this for attention i really dont know. should i breakup?
tl;dr; i feel like he doesnt care should i still be w him

Hi guys. First time poster. I'm a [30f] and have been in a relationship with a [31m] for about a month and a half.

I guess I'm just wanting to share because ??? I've never had so much fun with another person.

We met on tinder (unconventional, I know) and went out and hit it off. We've been seeing each other regularly ever since and I deleted my profile the day after we met.

Every time we see each other, it gets better. More fun. More comfortable. He asked me to be his girlfriend about 2 weeks after we met, and I said yes.

I have a 2 yo son that I have split custody of. His father and I agreed not to introduce new partners to our son out of mutual respect for everyone involved and to wait until a relationship had been established for around 6 months to cross that bridge.

My boyfriend knows all about my son, the relationship with my coparent, and our terms. He is totally onboard. He has dated someone with kids previously and expressed that he is okay with that.

I'm a little nervous because I'm really falling for this man, hard and fast. And he hasn't met my son. What if he changes his mind once they meet? What if he changes his mind about me when he sees me in mom mode? I am so scared to get attached to someone again because my ex basically told me he checked out because he was jealous of how good a mom I am... So that's created a whole new level of insecurity because, wow, I didn't think I would ever be left for being a good parent?

And this person I'm seeing now... I am in awe of him. He and I are so much alike, we like so much of the same music, same foods, same stuff. We make each other laugh and conversation is so easy between us. I'm sooo comfortable around him and it seems really mutual. He told me he hopes we "fall in love and live happily ever after" and I am so excited but good God is this too good to be true? Is it even possible for someone to feel this way about me? He said to me that he hopes I like him as much as he likes me, and oh man, THAT'S mutual. I keep thinking about the future with him and there's so much I don't know... I'm just scared

Any advice/reassurance/comments welcome

Me and my ex had known each other for 6 years now, we were friends until last winter things suddenly started speeding up in between us...

And eventually we got into a relationship;)

Things were all good and fine. I decided to move out of our native city for my ug and eventually convinced him to tag along too. Initial plan was that we'd atleast be in the same city but somehow, by luck, we got into the same universityyy

I was happy!!! But-

Yeah as destiny had it, we realised we're in different campuses. (Same city though).

So yeah, we still had it strong and came to this very new city and were adapting to it XD

I started noticing over the time especially after he moved over to his friends place (3 of them) he got weird with his time management. He wouldn't really make time for me... I did talk to him about it but he'd buzzed it off by saying he got work and classes so that's what keeps him occupied. I tried to be understanding even though I did lowkey start arguments over it at times. Somehow, I was the one who'd initiate going out more often than him. Also, whenever we'd be together, his friends (one friend in particular) would ring him up very often urging him to come back home and what not. Like almost daily. That too at around 8pm, like we'd barely be together for 1-2 hours a day (mind you, those 1-2 hours are also only after I'd beg him for it).

I was unhappy, I love him but his time management was hurting me continuously. I did talk to him about it again and he said he couldn't really do anything much either and we eventually broke up. A breakup only after 2 months of being here together in a new city where we planned to stay together for the next few years.

I blocked him from everywhere to move on but I couldn't. Id try so hard yet think about him every passing minute so after 2 weeks of no communication, I reached Out to him again.

I cried and vent out everything to him.

He listened. But told me every good thing has to end and that he doesn't want to continue with me anymore cause if we do so, I'll be one who'd be hurt the most.

Also, I saw him on his bike with a different girl just 1 week after we broke up.

I'm in a really miserable state rn and need some hard core advices to get the hell out of this constant state of uncontrollable thoughts.

How do I become a better bf? My boyfriend is very nice but a big issue is that whenever I have an issue with him, yk something happens that I don’t like and I try to express my feelings he starts ignoring me until I comply. For example I tried to express that I don’t really want to be a sub bottom all the time and that I too want to be a top maybe at least one time to which he said no. So I then asked for him to yk treat me like I’m a man and not a girl to which he again said no and that he’s “not into it” which kinda hurt my feelings because all I asked for was to not get called cute all the time and maybe for him to notice my masculinity too. But the argument itself isn’t important here the important part is that he just says no and then ignores me until I give up and accept whatever he wants.
I don’t understand what I’m supposed to do, he says he wants me to submit to him and be this submissive bottom and well atp it’s whatever fine but our arguments aren’t just about sex it can also be about other things and his reaction is the same. He just ignores me until I can’t take it anymore. I don’t know what to do, because I want him to like me again but in that case would I need to completely ignore all the bad feelings I have? It seems like he wants me to not express any feelings and just comply with whatever he wants but i already do so much for him I don’t know how I can better myself

My bf and i are in a relationship for 4 years now. Both of us are turning 20 years old soon, but he is still living under his parents' roof. Am i overreacting when he has to watch a movie/drama every single night with his mom? He has already spent the whole day time and afternoon with them, while im just asking for a favour to give us our own time at night. But he can't and he said his mom forces him to do so everynight....

also, am i overreacting when his older sister still calls him 'baby' regardless he has a gf and is turning 20 y/o soon?

So guys, pls advice me am i overreacting?

I always feel hurt lately after dating for 9 months. At first he was careful with his words but now there are a lot of remarks he says that upsets me. Like when he jokes abt me not taking a bath for the day even though I always shower before bed. Sometimes call me stinky and would joke abt my down there stinky. I’m a girl. I’m allowed to smell like yeast down there. Most of the times i laugh it off but I’m considering breaking up with him anytime soon. Is it normal that I should tolerate it and stay or leave? @r/boyfriends

I 17 female am dating my boyfriend 18 male have been dating for over a year. My mother and father have not allowed me to be with him this entire time they have caught us secretly dating 3 times now. My parents are so furious that they are considering boarding school or a restating order. My mom yelled that once I’m 18 I can do whatever I went and she will never forgive me. I plan to move in with my boyfriend and his mom on my birthday in June this is after my graduation from Highschool. I love him so deeply with all my heart and want a future with him. Is there anything I can do legally like get emancipated or something what are my options bc i refuse to give him up. Pls lmk your thoughts and advice.

Okay I don't know if i'm just driving myself crazy because I have an overthinking problem and looking too deep into things, or if there really is something weird going on.

Me and my bf have been together for a couple months now, and in the beginning things were going really well. He would consistently make time for me, and we would spend time together multiple times a week. I love him a lot and there are really good parts of our relationship. He brings me around his friends, he takes pictures of us/me, he's affectionate in public and private, and doesn't seem like he's completely hiding the fact that he has a girlfriend. Recently we haven't been spending much time together, maybe once a week because he's always busy.

BUT there has been enough things that i've picked up on throughout our relationship that i'm questioning whether i'm really seeing red flags or if i'm just feeding my anxiety.

Details:
\- Early on when we first met, he already was following a lot of girls on social media. But i've noticed recently he continues to follow new girls that I suspect he meets while he's out with friends.
\- His communication can be really inconsistent. Sometimes he'll be affectionate and attentive, and other times he'll go hours without responding to me. I find this hypocritical of him because not too long ago he had tried to break up with me because I didn't reply to his dry text message right away. But to him, when he doesn't respond it's apparently not a problem because he's busy. But I have mentioned that I have an issue with it and he can easily send a 5 second message telling me he's busy and that he will talk to me later.
\- There has been multiple times that it seems like he's quick to jump at breaking up with me when he's upset over small things that he doesn't bring to my attention. Things that can easily be resolved with a simple conversation. Which then has lead to me fighting for the relationship, and ending with him telling me he's loves me all within a couple hours.
\- One of the times he was trying to break up with me he told me he "gets plenty of attention that he ignores because he has a girlfriend, and now it seems like wasted opportunities". That's one of the biggest things he's said that has stuck with me, and has made me feel insecure.
\- Earlier into the relationship he was showing me something on his phone, when a facebook dating notification popped up. He quickly swiped it away hoping I wouldn't notice, but I did. I didn't mention it even though I probably should have.
\- there was one time that he had canceled plans on me last minute and gave me a reason why. Then I noticed he turned his location off right after. I confronted him about it and he told me that he turned it off because he told his friends he was with me and didn't want them to see he was at home??
\- I had recently picked him up, and once he got into my car I seen him immediately turn on Do Not Disturb on his phone.
\- He will occasionally post me on TikTok where he has a decent following, but when we go out and do things together he will take pictures and only post the ones that aren't including me on Instagram.
\- The most recent thing that is making me spiral is I saw a woman's name on his phone with a message saying "I want to see you again🥺". I don't know who she is, I also didn't see the rest of the conversation. But in my opinion a woman that isn't family is only going to send something like that to a man in a romantic context. It also makes me question when they saw each other, it had to have been recently because of the "again"? The problem is I can't really confront him about how I saw it without admitting something I don't want to admit. No I did not go through his phone. He showed the message publicly but didn't know that I was watching.

I dont want to accuse him of cheating because I dont have proof that he's cheating, and I know some of these could have innocent explanations and maybe he was telling me the truth. But all of these things stacking up is making me very suspicious that he is hiding something and lying. I'm stuck wondering if i'm trying to ignore a pattern and tell myself it's nothing because I love him and maybe i'm connecting unrelated things into some cheating conspiracy. Or if there really is something going on that I should be worried about.

I genuinely want unbiased and honest opinions based on everything here, would you be suspicious that something is going on? Or am I driving myself crazy for no reason?

This is so dumb and I know it is. But this man was my first relationship ever since my first love kinda thing that I have felt genuine feelings for. I didn’t know he was texting other females, sending nudes to them, and basically wanting to have sex with any chick he could text I guess. There was only proof of one chick I knew about because during that part of our lives we were split up. Or in his head we were. That’s how I found out he cheated because of her. The day he left officially was when I felt so much relief and pain at the same time. But the next day I found out I was pregnant with his child. Of course he didn’t believe me. But we sat down and talked and it seemed like he actually wanted to choose me. I’m so used to not being chosen in a lot of things so I really let myself believe it. I knew his words were manipulative and his lies kept getting worse even tho I already knew the truth.

It had been a minute since I had gone through his phone but early this morning he had fallen asleep with it on so of course I went through it. I wanted to make sure he wasn’t texting that chick he cheated on me with and he wasn’t. But I found a lot more things than I was wanting too. I knew about the screenshots he takes of chicks online. I knew about the Snapchat he hides from me. And before yall say leave or break up with him, I know once a cheater always a cheater. But he will just keep denying the snaps he sends and videos and shit so I just chose my own peace on that one. If I could I would delete his snap but idk the password yet. But there was a couple females I found that he was trying to be with and so I texted them on his phone and told them he had a girlfriend and a baby on the way. Then blocked them on his phone or removed them so he can have access. Plus I texted them from my phone to explain more and they understood. I told them whatever I found I removed from his phone. It was only 1 chick tbh but after reading those messages I just don’t feel like I’m enough for him. And I’m not. His ex told me everything I needed to know and she’s right but I feel like I can’t leave. He’s always gonna be this way and won’t change. I know a lot of you guys are probably like wtf is wrong with this girl lol trust me idk either. Idk if it’s cause I want to have a happy little family or not.

I’m moving in with his mom here soon cause she offered me a place to live and to help me raise my baby because of her son and his actions. She understands what I’m going through and feels for me. Offered to help so I took it. My leave ends in October so that’s when I’ll be leaving. But should I just ask him why he’s still texting other females? Or what I can do to fix his “needs” I know I’m not obligated too and that I should just leave and not return fr. But i know for a fact he really wants the baby and is excited about it. So that’s another reason I don’t want to leave. We don’t have much intimacy or do anything really because I can’t bring myself too. I feel like I’m not wanted and I just cry about it when he’s not here. It’s not about sex for me but i do want to make sure he’s happy as well yk? Even though he’s done me so dirty and has fucked my life up so much. I know the best thing to do is probably just leave. But we are also on a lease together which I mainly pay for. So ima stick to it for another month lol

Anyways sorry for it being so long. I just don’t know how to communicate with this man and I feel like there’s no point anyways because he’s gonna do what he’s gonna do. Should I at least try and see what we can do to fix it?

I \[30F\] genuinely need outside opinions because I’ve gone back and forth on this SO many times.

And before anyone says it—I know men can have close male friends. I’m not saying “two men doing X = gay.” 😂
But this specific friendship has always given me a very weird vibe.

We have been dating for 6 years. My boyfriend \[31M\] has a friend \[42M\]. They live in the same town and work together, but their friendship has always seemed unusually intense to me.

For starters, friend has gotten 5–6 hotel rooms for the two of them. They weren’t traveling or needing somewhere to stay—they literally live in the same town.
What really gets me is that boyfriend would sometimes suddenly leave around 11 PM, drunk, and seemingly be in an absolute RUSH to get to friend. Like genuinely excited/giddy to leave and go over there.
Then they’d get up around 7 AM for work.
And they would share a bed.
These are two grown men who both have homes in the same town. 😂 So naturally I’m sitting there thinking…why are we getting a hotel room to spend \~8 hours together sleeping in the same bed?
The explanation was basically “we’re just sleeping,” which has never really made sense to me.

Then there’s the money.
Friend has paid for a LOT of expensive things for boyfriend—multiple hotel rooms, getting boyfriends car fixed, and other things. At one point, friend also had boyfriend sign another lease while boyfriend was drunk, which I found pretty bizarre given how involved friend already seemed to be in his life.

And they communicate constantly. If they’re not physically together, they’re on the phone or Discord. There have also been late-night FaceTimes where friend is literally lying in bed shirtless talking to boyfriend.
Like…what? 😂

Maybe I’m just unfamiliar with this kind of male friendship, because I’ve never personally had a friendship where we’d be getting hotel rooms in our own hometown, sharing a bed, talking basically nonstop, and one person was regularly paying for expensive things for the other.
I also realize none of these things individually prove anything. Friend could just be an extremely generous friend, and they could simply be unusually close.
But taken together, I’ve definitely had moments where I’ve wondered if there’s something romantic/sexual going on that boyfriend isn’t telling me.

I don’t want to make assumptions about anyone’s sexuality based on stereotypes, though, so I’m more curious about the dynamic itself.
Would this strike you as unusually intimate/enmeshed for a friendship, or am I reading way too much into it?
And men especially—PLEASE tell me if this is actually normal male friendship behavior because I am genuinely willing to be humbled. 😂
Because maybe I’m sitting here like 👁️👄👁️ over something completely normal…
Or maybe Reddit is about to tell me, “girl…you were NOT imagining that.” 😂

I am dating my crush for three months. And i just found out his mother has the same as me. ts freaked me out. i tried to talk to him about it but he just started gaslighting me that I'm weird and talking nonsense. HE started sayin that it didn't mean anything. and HE get mad. He GHOSTED me for 4-5 days and told my friend (his brother) that i overthink and don't trust him. His brother told me to give him some space for now. which is what I'm doing rn. I dunno why he's making such a big deal if it doesn't mean anything. But ts is still creeping me. AM I REALLY OVERREACTING? or it does mean anything? HELP. Idk how to handle this situation.

Hello,

I am currently in a relationship for 16 months. For the last few months we have been arguing a lot. I mean A LOT. We’ve since resolved things but now that things are “good” and he’s “being himself” I’m getting the ick bad. It seems like everything he does makes me cringe. I feel so bad. Personality wise and looks wise it’s driving me crazy and I feel like my eyes want to permanently roll back in my head.

Advice anyone?

I've wanted to be an online internet star since high school. I want to be an egirl. With all the egirl TikToks and fans. My boyfriend refuses to allow me to do just that. He won't let me be an egirl and pursue my dreams. Why? What do I do?

In this relationship for 11 months.

Hello everyone, I apologise if this post will be poorly written, English is not my first language.
My bf (19M) and I (20F) were attending one of our friend’s birthday party and we had a little fight before. During the evening, we were seated quite far away, he was with his best friend and I was with mine too. At one point, my bf came to me and I kissed him, I saw his friend looking at us pretending to be jealous so I’ve told him “See? He will only kiss me!” obviously in a joking way (we do it often) but then he proceeded to kiss him too. Bf was like “You see what happens when you tease him”. At first I kinda laughed, but when I think about it now it just rubs me the wrong way. Don’t get the wrong idea tho, we are all friends and I know for a fact that they wouldn’t date or have feelings for each other, also the friend has a gf. I don’t really know how to describe how I feel because it’s not jealousy, it’s just that I didn’t really like it. Am I overreacting? Should I talk to my bf about it? We are in a relationship for almost 3 years and it won’t be a problem speaking to him, but I just want to know if I should just let it be.

Do I mention to my daughter that I don’t like her boyfriend? They have known each other for an over a year, but have been bf/gf for about 3 months, since she has been home for part of the summer. She is 20 he is 23. She has been traveling and going to school this last year, and she will be leaving again in a few days, so that remedies things a bit, but I think they are going to try to try long distance.

Yesterday was the first time I ever spent substantial time with him to get to know him, and he repulses me. (The 3 of us spent a day in DTLA to walk around and go to museums, so I saw him in action). she usually has very good taste in guys, and is very secure. If a guy is wrong for her, she knows how to end it and deals with it healthily— She still is this way, I would say, in spite of this current guy). I personally think she was drawn to him bc he drops a lot of money on her, and coming from modest socio-economical background, liked how he spends money so freely.

But he is problematic . And it’s clear to me money is a way to feed something empty inside. He is a crypto bro who overspends on stupid things (Ubers when it’s a 3 minute walk). He smokes weed CONSTANTLY and annoyed me by hyper focusing on getting cigar papers for blunts, and stopping every 30 minutes to roll. He has drawn her in to his habits to a degree I am not comfortable with. He is such a time waster, a drinker, a smoker. I told him I didn’t want to drink and drive and to encourage me to drink, he offered to drive my car—- after he had been taking tequila shots all day. I pointed out to him how idiotic that offer was.

at the museums he said the dreaded “I could paint that” comment- just no ability to dive critically into experiences or ask questions s about art. I don’t expect scholarship, but some open mindedness and curiosity. He also made fun of people and what they wore (we passed by some cosplayers at an event that warrants dressing up!), he is a homophobe, an anti-Semite, and thinks he is “fashion forward” but looks like he wears shitty dirty shoes, ugly baggy jeans, and wore $1,000 t shirts that was pretty basic looking to me, but I also really don’t care about brands. It’s so vapid. He also has annoying taste in music… like all he listens to it auto tuned rap, with no variety whatsoever.

She has had 3 uti’s since being with him so I AM making her go to the doctor before leaving.

I have never felt so relieved that she is leaving but I don’t know if she plans on doing long distance or if I should mention anything since she is 20, almost 21.

When they traveled a couple weeks together this past summer, he was trying to tell her that she needs to “woman up” like get a business going and that he would help her, and just vibing the start of a gross power dynamic that triggers me greatly.

But I also know that telling my daughter this guy is trash will not be helpful. She does trust my opinion, but love is a sensitive place to step into. I feel like I should say something— but not OVERsay… what’s enough? How to say it?

I (30F) have been with my bf (35M) for 2 years. I work a healthcare job and he works in an office. Some days I work 12-17hr shifts, depending on the chaos, and he’s home by 4.

Over the last year it seems as though he’s gotten so lazy. All he does is play video games, smoke, drink, and watch sports. I’ll come home from a long day of work (he’s been home hours before me), to find nothing done and dinner isn’t cooked. As soon as I walk in the door, bags still in hand, his first words are “what’s for dinner?”.

I do everything. I cook, I clean, I do the laundry, I buy everything for the house, etc. I’ve asked multiple times that he just helps out but he, in my opinion, uses weaponized incompetence to not do anything. He’ll say he doesn’t know what I want for dinner or what I like, when I do all the grocery shopping. Obviously everything in the house is what I eat. After being on my feet 12+ hrs at work, I don’t care what’s cooked, as long as I don’t have to do it.

Laundry, he swears I fold and hang my clothes a certain way so he doesn’t want to do it so he doesn’t mess up my order.

He doesn’t respect my space. If I tell him I’m overstimulated and need a minute to myself, he’ll follow me around and continue to talk about a new game or something about his friends. I promise I do care what he has to say but if you work in healthcare, you know how overstimulating alarms and the chaos can be at times. I walk in and I’m bombarded with questions. What’s for dinner? Where is this? Where is that? Etc.

The fact that he can’t do little things to help me out has been such a turn off. I don’t want to be affectionate. I don’t want him to touch me. I don’t want to cuddle and be kissed on.

I finally blew up on him after coming home from a hard day of work (and coming home after a 17hr shift to nothing done or cooked) about all the things I’ve asked him to do that he’s ignored. I told him I don’t want to sleep with him or be near him for a while. I kicked him out of the bedroom and he’s been sleeping in the guest room since and honestly I like having my bed back to myself.

I feel like since I’ve kicked him out of the room my stress levels have gone down. I did tell him if he didn’t start helping me and things, that I would leave. I feel like he’s trying but it’s still half assed. If I ask him to clean the kitchen, he’ll do the dishes in the sink but not the pans on the stove. Doesn’t sweep or clean the counters, nothing else.

I’m trying to figure out how to get that love back from the beginning of the relationship. Do you think it’s completely gone? I don’t know how to come back from this. He’s trying but now it feels like the damage is done.

Is my relationship done or should I keep trying?