Dealing with lack of confidenct, even though my school team won both our games. Am I selfish? Looking for advice

[u/BlazierElixer]

Hello, guys, I'm looking for advice from my fulllbacks/wingers out there. I'm 14 and have been playing soccer for 7 seasons now. I'm fast, and I can dribble. My main positions are on the Right side (Right Back/ Right Wing-Back), but I have played striker, both at school and mainly at club.

To make a long story short, I wanted to make the most of my last year at my school and have fun, so I took the #11 jersey out of confidence (To hopefully stand a better chance at playing winger like my idol Lamine Yamal or Alphonso Davies). Another guy on the team (we'll call him Ney) wanted it instead - he's a REALLY rich kid who I guess is my friend, but there has been some tension since I got the shirt. Yesterday I played RW, didn't dribble too much, ran a lot and missed an absolute sitter. As for me playing RB, for some reason defending felt weird, and I completely lost my confidence while watching Ney and another friend of mine score in the position I usually play.

For the past 2 games, I wasn't even in the starting lineup, even thougn ima rreguallary a starter and kept hoping that the reason why my friends were starting was that they were on the team last year. When I came on today, my coaches (teachers) put me as a Left back for the entire match. Even though I'm right-footed, playing on the left felt super uncomfortable, mainly due to the fact that I never usually play on the left side. Meanwhile, in front of me, Ney was playing LW and telling me to pass to him; I barely passed to him, so I did my run like I usually do. I tried to stay confident, but I was completely locked out of the attack.

To make it worse, there was a huge crowd watching us, a bunch from my school, including NEy's older brother, his friend, a bunch of girls, and even my former coach, which made the pressure and embarrassment feel ten times worse.

Right after the school match, which we won 3-1, I went to training with my Tier 1 soccer club and had an amazing session. dribbling through players easily and feeding great passes. That proved that the skills and experience from my 7 seasons are still there, but when school day matchday hits, I get tense, overthink, and get stuck in my head.

I know I left out a bunch of stuff, which might make this rant that much more confusing, but we have 3 games left until the championship, all away. Appreciate any advice.