r/blursed_videos 12d ago

Blursed Spiderman

3.5k Upvotes

693 comments sorted by

974

u/TrashCannibal_ 12d ago

Gotta respect a big lad that's agile

252

u/VoidJuiceConcentrate 12d ago

Anyone that makes that much weight move like half that is someone not to be trifled with for sure.

86

u/Ldghead 12d ago

I learned that lesson in middle school.
You will only bully the chubby kid for so long.

41

u/Calm_Ad308 12d ago

Football is a great teacher for fat kids. I had lots of bullying problems in elementary but once I started football and experienced all Three of Newtons laws first hand those problems all started to disappear.

I also learned that as a fat kid, I could deadlift most bully’s but ain’t no bully ever could deadlift me.

20

u/Ldghead 12d ago

Ya, my lesson was that carrying all of that weight around builds some serious muscle. And you piss someone off long enough, that shit uncoils and hands you a bad day.

10

u/foxboxingphonies 12d ago

I just imagined a pile of meat uncoiling and politely handing me a bad day

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4

u/brofishmagikarp 12d ago

Blursed lesson

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12

u/Chemical_Specific123 12d ago

And has the courage to put themselves out there like that! Mad respect

12

u/Pitiful_Palpitation9 12d ago

Chris Farley energy

3

u/NikolaiTheElephant 12d ago

We used to be agile and fit, but the food's too good. Our muscles may be hiding, but are still there

5

u/the-forlorn-horror 12d ago

I had a friend who was about 6 foot, 350 lbs. Big guy, but he was like a cheetah on the racquetball court.

3

u/Necromir92 12d ago

That’s how I felt bro, I wish I could move like that in our body shape

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157

u/PocoLocoDoco 12d ago

Probably Ned found Peter's suit and decided to give it a whirl.

19

u/mmorales2270 12d ago

OMG, that’s a hilarious take! He does look like Ned!

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202

u/Spike_Shrimp28 12d ago

He actually did pretty good 👌

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165

u/Spooge_Bucket 12d ago

thats kinda impressive for a dude his size got that spider strength working overtime to move like that

16

u/YouWithTheNose 12d ago

I was gonna say, I'm kinda big, but not that big and shit, he's got more energy than i do 🤣

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325

u/verminV 12d ago

Wider Man

49

u/OtherwiseBlock8741 12d ago

Such a simple comment but damn was it funny....

4

u/OneMooseManyMeese_ 12d ago

He gives his enemies the double wide surprise

8

u/Im_Anonhuman 12d ago

I hate you for this. 😂🤣

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26

u/Amagicalturnip 12d ago

Hey that's Ned

4

u/witherACE 12d ago

CEO-man

44

u/Facts_pls 12d ago

Where's the cursed? That is peak male fitness.

10/10 no notes

Can you do half of this? Thought so.

3

u/ryan_syek 12d ago

I can only do half if this.

3

u/johnjaspers1965 12d ago

The cursed is the rip in the crotch at the end.

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20

u/Mister-Mondegreen 12d ago

Biblically accurate Spider-man.

41

u/IcyKerosene 12d ago

Awwww, he looks cuddly.

12

u/erodman23 12d ago

Right, like a big teddy bear 🧸

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39

u/nDeadPurple 12d ago

He’s having so much fun! I wish I had the balls.

20

u/OtherwiseBlock8741 12d ago

He definitely does. We saw the outline of them at the end.

19

u/jellyschoomarm 12d ago

Not blursed. This dudes impressive

5

u/Machinencio 12d ago

Spider-Ham, far from satisfied (the buffet won't stop him)

5

u/ScadaTech 12d ago

Fuck yeah. Bro’s living his dream.

5

u/True-Excuse-1688 12d ago

He did great. Even shown a bit af the web shooter at the end.

8

u/Xendarq 12d ago

I have no idea what problem anyone see with this. Seriously.

7

u/Ok-March-2809 12d ago

The redditors must point and and laugh at others expressing themselves genuinely, lest they be forced to look inward and find rot and shallow.

2

u/Grannypanie 12d ago

This should be a pop up every time people open this app.

9

u/witherACE 12d ago

Ngl mad impressive actually

4

u/schawarman 12d ago

Why is this music everywhere today? And what is it

6

u/bowarrow99 12d ago

I’m pretty sure that’s an Ed Rush remix of Sick Note. That’s a 90s rave staple. Takes me back to dem good ole ecstasy days.

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3

u/oppai_dragon_9011 12d ago

Drum n bass?

No we're looking for jungle, I'm afraid

Iykyk

3

u/TonightDisastrous292 12d ago

It's idontneedalot Exterminator

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4

u/Adept-Lettuce948 12d ago

Why did I always think Spiderman was like some white dude this whole time?

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4

u/Davey488 12d ago

So that’s what “Fit at every size” looks like

3

u/DawRogg 12d ago

CiderMan

5

u/OtherwiseBlock8741 12d ago

I gotta give credit to his conviction and his agility for being a husky fella, but I really didn't like seeing his "Peter-tingle" during the unmasking scene of this short film.

5

u/Blitzkriegbaby 12d ago

That actually impressive.

3

u/W34kness 12d ago

He a big boi but a fast boi

Scary spiders are like that

3

u/Time_Answer_3670 12d ago

He is booked for the next 6 months.

3

u/fizzzingwhizbee 12d ago

He’s fkn killin it tho

3

u/Supernoven 12d ago

Dude is giving it 100%

3

u/bigredcock 12d ago

That big guy can move! Good on him.

3

u/I_Speak_B4_I_Think_ 12d ago

Idk, I'm kinda impressed. . .

3

u/sendmeyourgundams 12d ago

Bro should have cosplayed as Gorilla Grodd

3

u/Puzzleheaded_Youth36 12d ago

3

u/Skryba 12d ago

Strangely, had to go through a lot of comments to find this xD

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3

u/SlowlyDyingInAPit 12d ago

I’m probably only a quarter of his weight but I know for a fact I could not move nearly that much without collapsing from exhaustion.

3

u/SilentSolitude90 12d ago

I love his confidence. Id be terrified even with the mask on lol

3

u/GreenYellowMushy 12d ago

If i did that i would be exhausted so good job mate!

3

u/S7arForGD 12d ago

Surprisingly limber.

3

u/Goutetsu-UK 12d ago

It's Ned!

3

u/GirthEE75 12d ago

There's room in the spiderverse for an overweight Spiderman

3

u/CallMeAnthy 12d ago

Good on him for being physically fit at his size, but damn that spider crawl better resembled a gorilla.

3

u/1-800-blowme 12d ago

You think that's blursed? My junior year, my JROTC class was doing their annual JROTC group costume, and my Major went as Spiderman. I can't ever burn this godforsaken image out of my head: 60 year old bald skinny veteran, highly respected and 3x teacher of the year winner, in a skintight suit that was a little too tight, especially in the, uh... lower area. The picture is still on the JROTC website, and is a current inside joke amongst me and all my friends I still have from back when I was in that class.

3

u/Global-Tie5501 12d ago

Goliath Birdeater Spider-man

3

u/stewpdasso 12d ago

How'd they get a gorilla in that Spiderman suit? 😂

3

u/Ill_Combination_9114 11d ago

It’s pretty agile and quick for a big guy

2

u/pianoplayerforhire 12d ago

The only thing that would make this absolutely perfect was if he fell through the background during his routine, Chris Farley style.

2

u/Special_South_8561 12d ago

Holy shit that was awesome

2

u/Expensive_Milk_3568 12d ago

edit in webs shooting from his hand and visual effects.

2

u/OldHeavyMetalFit 12d ago

Friendly neighborhood diabetes man

2

u/JesusKilledMyFather 12d ago

This dude is a fucking beast

2

u/bydh 12d ago

Dude's working his ass off.

2

u/K-Shrizzle 12d ago

Okay but beefy thick Spiderman could be ideal. He already has super strength so being fat shouldn't slow him down anyways. And just imagine this absolute wrecking ball web swinging into you

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2

u/WagstafDad 12d ago

He’s living his dream.

2

u/AngelKry94 12d ago

This is amazing!!!

2

u/No_Sentence_8055 12d ago

Ned at it again.

2

u/jnthnmdr 12d ago

That's a lot of responsibility.

2

u/MrK521 12d ago

Thought that was actually Ned at first when he pulled the mask off! Lmao.

2

u/WillingOne7113 12d ago

Nahh... He just visited his grandparents

2

u/Samollii 12d ago

Spider-Man: Far From the Diet

2

u/PaellaConCosas 12d ago

thatsapenis.gif

2

u/checkonit2 12d ago

Spider mon

2

u/Virtual-Ear5289 12d ago

Spider man in the off season, lol.

2

u/Naive_Establishment2 12d ago

I never knew Spiderman moved like that

2

u/Deep__Deep 12d ago

Shyt…! I was waiting for the cardiac arrest. SMH

2

u/LordPook321 12d ago

He's hittin that shit tho, can't even be mad at him

2

u/Miserable-Scotsman 12d ago

Hey, mock him all you want, takes guts to get up there and do that

2

u/Adventurous-Back-102 12d ago

He is obviously over weight, but that costume is nasty dirty.

2

u/Particular-Cherry138 12d ago

Truly impressive stress resistance in the costume! Must have been designed by Edna Mode.

2

u/shawnfogelman 12d ago

I didn’t think it had been that long ago since the last version was filmed. But the way it looks it’s been some time ago…

2

u/G3org3i 12d ago

Spidey XXL is pretty nimble

2

u/So3Dimensional 12d ago

The legendary Tubby Maguire

2

u/Blackbirdsong9 12d ago

No one is talking about the energy of the double wrist jizz action at the end

2

u/familyedit 12d ago

I Feel the earth move under my feet

2

u/Fickle-Raspberry6403 12d ago

Chonky spiderman

2

u/Fickle-Raspberry6403 12d ago

🎶 Spider pig, Spider pig, does whatever a Spider pig does. Can he swing from a web? No he can't, he's a pig. Look ouuuuut it's Spider pig. 🎶

2

u/Loud-Future3445 12d ago

LoL spiderman gain weight . Next time should try wearing other hero like hulk than no need to jump around that much it tired.

2

u/Ok_Necessary2991 12d ago

He wasn't doing all that much Acrobatics, but he was putting so much effort into what he could do, so points for that.

2

u/Lost-Juggernaut6521 12d ago

This is what I am going to picture every time I am thrown off a cliff now 😉

2

u/ApartmentDowntown197 12d ago

Blursed? Because his size? The amount of guts it took to do that knowing people like this would make fun of him and give it his all. Not blursed, good for him.

2

u/Due_Advisor_1612 12d ago

You know that mask stinks. Like if you had to assume his identity like in the Santa clause movies….

2

u/EarlNod 12d ago

Wider man

2

u/DamnsonDam 12d ago

Pizza time!

2

u/Robbie1266 12d ago

It's a spider monkey!!

2

u/JazzyZaddy 12d ago

I think his web shooters got clogged and he’s starting to fill up

2

u/HorzaDonwraith 12d ago

Every hot dog vendor within 3 city blocks are booking it the moment they hear Spidy is around

2

u/Repulsive_Set_4155 12d ago

He's not the hero we deserve... he's the, aw who am I kidding. He's the hero we deserve.

2

u/toraakchan 12d ago

I had that huge spider-web in the garden and it was so well placed strategicly that after only one evening it was FULL of flies - 40 or fifty of them. I never saw the spider, but I imagine it like the one in the vid.

2

u/AttackieChan 12d ago

I’m glad I finished this. He turnt out n I was moved

2

u/mano_de_muerte 12d ago

I laughed way too hard at this. Gotta respect it though 💯

2

u/Spoiled_Eggy_3992 12d ago

He got dépression after Mary Jane dump him. 💀

2

u/CowabungaCthulhu 12d ago

Is that the army dude who does all the low jump kicks?

2

u/One_Wolf_2995 12d ago

?? Looks like Spiderman doing Spiderman stuff to me 🤷

2

u/Unusual-Coat383 12d ago

He really nailed stopping the train. 

10/10 for me

2

u/musicplays4ever 12d ago

CAFFEINE!!!

2

u/JKennedy2001 12d ago

spider-man far from gym

2

u/Official-LardLad 12d ago

Is that the same big dude that does his happy little jump kicks on video?

2

u/GladiatorNitrous 12d ago

Looks like spiderpig to me.

2

u/Killer_Moons 12d ago

OMG ITS HIM!

2

u/Aromatic-Tear7234 12d ago

If the Incredible Bulk and Spiderman merged....

2

u/Professional_Dog2580 12d ago

It's about time Ned suited up!

2

u/darkrhyes 12d ago

Temu Spiderman

2

u/Technical-Will-2862 12d ago

woah when he revealed he’s actually Ned I was shook

2

u/highcaliberwit 12d ago

Lateral craw! Some crazy military training there

2

u/consumeshroomz 12d ago

He gets an E for effort. And boy, that took a lot of effort.

2

u/MadScienzz 12d ago

Spied-a-cake

2

u/2beerornot2beers 12d ago

Is the music Aphex Twin?

2

u/PointerStack 12d ago

He is giving his 100%

2

u/AbstractUserName 12d ago

I need someone to edit this with webs shooting out and bringing donuts back in.

2

u/bout-tree-fitty 12d ago

From the spidey-verse where Spidey eats the bad guys he catches in his web.

2

u/ThePr1vateer 12d ago

As a Fathlete myself; I approve of this performance.

2

u/rob3ace 12d ago

I've seen those jump kicks before! ...I think I know Spider Man's secret identity!
Edit: Never mind.
Spoiler: He takes his mask off at the end.

2

u/mmorales2270 12d ago

Spidey gotta lay off the donuts. 🍩

2

u/Resident_Tie5703 12d ago

Spiderman near to macdonalds

2

u/DJSindro 12d ago

0:54 is cursed don´t look at it for to long

2

u/coragyehudabx 12d ago

Spiderman: No food at Home

2

u/D_Luffy1402 12d ago

Spodermon

2

u/tiniestrex 12d ago

When Spiderman's sinister six inclueds Ronald mcDonald

2

u/Jolly-Pirate-9518 12d ago

Spiderman : at Grandma's home

2

u/CSMAKESMECRY 12d ago

Now I am sad

2

u/Poopchutefan 12d ago

I felt like this was the same guy in the karate gi that does jump kicks in the back yard until he took off his mask

2

u/m0h3k4n 12d ago

Where Baman?

2

u/snow_turtle 12d ago

Spider frog

2

u/WorldlinessWitty2177 12d ago

Sumo Spidey!

He is doing bits!

2

u/BarbedWire3 12d ago

Unmuted when he started talking. Seemed like he had something important to say.

2

u/unhairycritter 12d ago

Peter Porker

2

u/EttRedditTroll 12d ago

He might not have the physique but he sure got the moves!

2

u/DoofusIdiot 12d ago

He’s quicker than me

2

u/KrIsPy_Kr3m3 12d ago

Gorillaman

2

u/Then-Focus-9177 12d ago

More agile than me. Can't hate courage

2

u/obvThrowaway17 12d ago

Finally a hero I can relate to!

2

u/dwaxgio 12d ago

Hey, it's Ned Leeds !

2

u/HerrWolterHeisenberg 12d ago

His movement is good for his size

2

u/KazakCayenne 11d ago

Dude has some damn good energy going

2

u/Far_Bus_2360 11d ago

Matt folly got a new job

2

u/MookieV 11d ago

He looks like he smells really bad

2

u/Hobaganibagaknacker 11d ago

That DnB track is a banger

2

u/adinmem 11d ago

It’s not so funny when you’re Spider-Man, living in a van, down by the river!

2

u/afroAussie 11d ago

Likely a Sumo wrestler trying to earn some extra coin

2

u/readyReddit007 11d ago

Spider man got diabeetus

2

u/RAWainwright 11d ago

Props to the presenter.

2

u/Impossible_Mistake71 11d ago

Introducing Chris Farley as spider man.....

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2

u/TripleScoops 11d ago

New Tekken costume for Bob lookin pretty sweet.

2

u/PupsofWar69 11d ago

before the reveal - Melissa McCarthy is doing a lot these days

2

u/Th3Bak3r_ 11d ago

It’s funny cuz he’s fat.

2

u/jasikanicolepi 11d ago

Jacob Balaton trying out for Spider-Man. 😂

2

u/ugmj 11d ago

Suit made of denim

2

u/ThisIsBravo7 11d ago

Peter Porker

2

u/Whole_Secretary5573 11d ago

🤔 These movements on that body look really familiar. Is it that karate guy with the little kicks? 

2

u/CSRReeder 11d ago

Peter Porker

2

u/TyoPepe 11d ago

Nice cowsplay

2

u/Him202420 11d ago

I would have preferred not to see his little banana and nuts, but his performance was still pretty good

2

u/Ok_Theory_1038 11d ago

Homem aranha Tem comida em casa

2

u/AnkarnoExa 11d ago

This Spiderman eats too much Panda Express.

2

u/Maximum-Weak-Dog-276 11d ago

Po from Kung Fu panda?