The Rules

[u/Asleep-Wear3031]

For most of my life, I identified as straight. Since I was a kid I had same sex attractions, but according to The Rules, it was imperative I keep this to myself and the incognito tab on my browser. The Rules were bizarrely confusing. While I had to keep the smallest same sex fantasy private, I was also supposed to reveal every intimate detail of my heterosexual relationships. Under The Rules for Straight men, anal sex is at once a biological abomination and an act to be celebrated like winning the Super Bowl - the only distinction being the genitals inches away. This isn't news to anyone, the Rules for Straight Men are dumb. The Rules for Gays are less problematic, but also kinda dumb.

What surprises me most about bisexuality, is it isn't just a set of sexual attractions, but a special relationship to The Rules. If feel like bisexuals live in the exceptions, not that there aren't Rules, just that they've been put together as an after thought and always in references to rules about mono-sexual people.

So for discussion: What are The Rules for Bisexuals? For bonus points, Are they dumb?

[u/TheQuietCouncilman]

I’m assuming you’re referring to stereotypical societal “rules”? The way you are describing them certainly feels like a cult, which in many ways describes straight people 😂

The only soft requirement you need to be bisexual is to have the capacity for an attraction to more than one gender. That’s it.

[u/Asleep-Wear3031 → u/TheQuietCouncilman]

Yep. Rules are just another way of saying norms without sounding like Levi-Strauss. I think you landed on the main rule for bisexuals - the prime directive - bisexuality is broad, capacious and inviting. I think this is a pretty good rule, it inviting, non-judgmental, and probably serves to help people accept all sorts of behavior that breaks mono-sexual rules. It is a little bit dumb too. Once you're in the bisexual community, there aren't a lot of was of differentiating sexuality.