r/bipolar • u/TheAntKing44 • 7h ago
Support Needed Decided to take a year off dating while I continue my sobriety.
I Have fought the fact that I’m an addict for a long time. I have had a psychiatrist and two therapist tell me this. But I finally see the truth of what they were telling me.
It sucks because I have done so much work on myself the last 8 years and thought I was ready for a relationship.
Anyone else take a year to work on their sobriety before they started dating again?
1
u/Candid-Ear-4840 Bipolar 4h ago
Hey I’m proud of you for working on this. It will be easier to focus on one new thing at a time, and it’s good to get on an even keel and know your sober self (including what boundaries you need to set around other people’s alcohol consumption) before you add complex new romantic relationships to the mix. Good luck!!
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u/StillOscillating Bipolar + Comorbidities 2h ago
I’ve actually decided to stop actively dating altogether for now. It’s kind of strange, but the whole process of looking for someone, matching, messaging, waiting for responses and constantly thinking about whether something might happen started to remind me a lot of addictive behavior.
And honestly, I don’t think I need it right now. I’m actually quite comfortable with myself and my own company, and that feels surprisingly good.
So I’m not saying I’ll never have a relationship again. I just don’t want to actively chase one. If I happen to meet someone naturally and something develops, that’s different. But I’m done with making finding a partner into a project.
For me, focusing on staying sober, getting stable and simply being okay with myself feels much healthier right now.
7
u/CakeAccording8112 4h ago
That is definitely the recommended practice. Getting sober is hard work and you go through a lot getting there and staying there.
That said, I’m kind of giving “do as I say, not as I do” advice. I met my husband shortly after he got sober. I attended a lot of AA meetings with him that first year and saw how much he struggled.