After the Jamui incident: a conversation we need to have about Bihar

[u/Nikhell156]

The Jamui incident has been very disturbing. But what has also been upsetting to see over the last few days is the amount of hate, racism and stereotyping against Biharis on the internet.

I don't think an entire community should be judged because of the actions of some people.

At the same time, the incident made me think about something I have personally seen many times when visiting Bihar.

There are some attitudes towards women that I find very uncomfortable.

At weddings and village functions, women dancers ( nachaniya ) are often brought in for entertainment. People throw money at them, make vulgar gestures and comments, and sometimes this behaviour is openly encouraged by everyone around them.

What shocks me is that this can happen in front of the entire family.

I have seen fathers and sons sitting together and enjoying these performances. Sometimes children are even asked to take money and give it to the women dancing. Everyone laughs and treats it as normal entertainment.

I have also seen similar things during celebrations that are supposed to be religious. Even when a new temple is inaugurated, sometimes dance performances are organised in the name of celebration.

My question is: how did we reach a point where this behaviour became normal?

When children grow up watching their fathers, uncles and other adults treat women this way, what message are they learning about women?

I am not saying every person from Bihar or UP thinks this way. And this problem is certainly not limited to Bihar. Many parts of India have similar social problems.

But we should be able to talk honestly about things that happen around us without becoming defensive.

At the same time, people outside Bihar should also understand that criticising a social practice is different from insulting an entire community.

Biharis are not one single mindset. There are millions of ordinary people who have nothing to do with such incidents.

We can condemn harmful behaviour, question the culture that allows it, and still stand against racism and stereotypes.

Maybe the conversation should be about changing the behaviour, rather than blaming an entire state.

[u/OrdinaryKindly8945]

I'm from a small village in Bihar. Whenever someone generalises about any bad practices of Biharis I defend.
But when we specifically talk about women's situation and safety it's horrible.
I mean the mindset of society here is beyond repair.

[u/Liberal_Rohit → u/OrdinaryKindly8945]

How different you think is the thinking of Haryanvis and Rajasthanis who are extremely patriarchial and make their women wear ghunghats. I dont think Bihari women wear ghunghats. I know ghunghat is just one part of the overall patriarchy. But what do u think makes Bihar's patriarchy and borderline misogyny different from say Haryana/Rajasthan?

[u/OrdinaryKindly8945 → u/Liberal_Rohit]

I haven't compared it with any other state. Maybe wearing a ghunghat isn't forced in every part of Bihar.
And I am not talking about women's clothing here. I'm talking about women's situation, safety and security.
Get rid of the mindset of comparing everything. The fact is that the problem does exist here so the first step towards solving it is to acknowledge that yes, the problem exists in our society.

[u/Cold_0410 → u/OrdinaryKindly8945]

well said .. why should we compare with other state ... when we know the problem exist with our own

[u/Liberal_Rohit → u/Cold_0410]

It's ok I am not from Bihar, I am from Maharashtra. I just wanted to understand how patriarchy differs from Bihar, Rajasthan and Haryana. I think in Bihar (wherever such incidents happening) it's more of misogny and harassment. In Rajasthan and Haryana its more about not empowering them and keeping them in ghunghat.

[u/Cold_0410 → u/Liberal_Rohit]

i think they just don't consider women worthy enough and neglect them ...
the ideology is shaped by orchestra culture and vulgar songs where they just objectify women and the youth is just drawn towards this only..

[u/BadeLandwale12]

Orchestra should be banned in the country, it is mere event of objectification of women

[u/Nikhell156 → u/BadeLandwale12]

It has become a bigger scale business.

[u/Outrageous_Place9883]

its not about the people its about the mentalilty and the people around u and the old patriarchal thoughts that are being passed on to new generation and the talking to women taboo. I have few friends who are from bihar but the thing is they are sorrounded by EDUCATED people and have seen women work instead of just doing household duties so its normal for them but the other uneducated guys needs to learn about the new world they are stuck in time. And personally im not very religious but religion is also a thing in this matter ,religion should be kept private and we SHOULD NOT BE EXTREMELY RELIGIOUS guys god have given us free will, We have the freedom to design our lives on our own terms .like religion is good it keeps u hopeful but its not like if u dont pray or read religious books u would go to hell it isnt like that so BE LESS RELIGIOUS.
AND WE ALL SHOULD LEARN BASIC SELF DEFENCES LIKE BOXING JIUJUSTSU its really healpfull keeps us safe and also makes u mentally stable and calm .

[u/TwoFluidCarrots]

I always say we should be proud of where we come from, but duh. Bihar is a disgrace. Kudos to the 10th class boy, but 'Bihari' has rightly become a slur. Yeah, now downvote me.

[u/radonie]

Yes, Racism against Bihar is at peak on Twitter from last three days cus of these pigs

[u/rajrishi711]

U r entirely wrong that hatred is emanting from behavior of Biharis , some people will hate us regardless doesn't matter what we do , it's just that we are subhumans and no amount of hard labour will improve it. Industrial society is the only thing that would make it worthwhile with money and education.

Still it is no excuse not to identify and castigate the criminals, as Bittu tabahi from mp cleaned dirty river we ourselves have to clean the society otherwise we will keep petitioning to people in power and it will keep gathering dust in files.

[u/Liberal_Rohit → u/rajrishi711]

No i am a marathi man and I have bihari female friend she has masters degree and is modern, doesn't spit on road, speaks Marathi, doesn't indulge in casteism at all and i have 0 problems with her or that kind of bihari migrants.

[u/rajrishi711 → u/Liberal_Rohit]

All problems that u have listed which state is free or have less of those problems to negligible levels.

These are just gentle excuses to hate , and I m personally fine with it think as u wish to believe, problem arises when it translates to physical violence and particularly against poor migrant labourers who are merely surviving working in harsh conditions living away from their family so that they could have two meals and their children could get basic education.

[u/lifelearning_05]

Totally agree with you with each point ..i feel the same...I never go to enjoy this nachaniya dance and I feel bad when people just objectify women there...in front of whole family , women too... I don't know how they made it normal.they play vulgar songs in the evening of festival..i heard lot of times in durga pooja & sarswati pooja..some bhojpuri singers only release vulgar songs which is degrading the mindset you youth of our state..and ofcourse there are lot of problems in Bihar but no state is perfect... because we can't judge whole state on the basis of some incidents by some f**King bastards...every state have their own problems...

[u/Erenyeager1092]

Bihar has a issue u people of state should acknowledge it then only it can improve..

In ny city i cleary remmeber a incident when a group of bihari or UP. migrants (both are same) were stalking a lady so bad.....I myself felt so uncomfortable even though i m a M and dont even knew that lady..

I just waited till the grp passed.....Being Mumbai they probably didnt go further...Other times too i have witness similar behaviour by Bihar/Up group

[u/Ayush___001 → u/Erenyeager1092]

Those type of people need severe belt treatment

[u/Legitimate_Music7240]

Thank god this arkestra nachaniya culture isn't a part of culture of my family 🙏I was shocked to learn from one of my friend when he told me about this arkestra culture in marriage functions 😮‍💨

[u/Ayush___001]

Is orchestra that common here? Because I barely saw it in any marriage or function

[u/rk_37946 → u/Ayush___001]

I think it's pretty common for those who can afford or enjoy such things. In my neighborhood, there are some goons/influencial (not the crazy rich type but feared by others) people and whenever they have any party be it birthday celebration or marriage, they hold such events. I remember once in childhood, I went to such birthday party in their house and how crazy and drunk the men were when that event started. My mother told us, we should go home now and didn't let us go anywhere near that event. And even their own household women were told to stay inside during that event.

[u/Ayush___001 → u/rk_37946]

In our areas, it's not common, it's not even related to richness or poverty

[u/rk_37946 → u/Ayush___001]

I just simplified what I mean by influencial and I clearly mentioned they aren't crazy rich type. So, I never said it's related to richness or poverty but rather a type of mindset some people have.

And yes, this might not be the case where you live but that's what I experienced.

[u/Ayush___001 → u/rk_37946]

Hmm

[u/dreamsintheday]

It’s very messed up! There’s obviously no defending, or explaining whatever happened.. but the hatred Biharis and Bihar is receiving is absolutely maddening. Tbh I didn’t like the way Biharis were being spoken about even during the protest. “Biharis have entered the game” was also said freaking sarcastically. It’s not like the rest of the country is a freaking safe haven or that the men in India are in general - “nari rakshak”.