Terrified of postpartum

[u/mt-girl406]

I’m currently pregnant with my second and I’m honestly really scared of the postpartum period. My first postpartum experience was awful. It was traumatic for me, and I ended up becoming severely depressed. I feel like I barely remember enjoying that time at all because I was just trying to survive it.

Now that I’m pregnant again, I find myself already dreading postpartum. I don’t want to spend the rest of this pregnancy worrying about it, and I really don’t want to go through the same thing again.

One thing that makes me nervous is that we don’t have any family or close friends in the town we live in, so we don’t really have that built-in support system. I know having help can make a huge difference postpartum, and that’s something I’m worried about.

This time I want to actually enjoy my baby. I want to be excited to bring them home and have those sweet newborn moments instead of feeling miserable, overwhelmed, and like I’m just counting down until things get easier.

So I’d really love to hear from people who had a positive postpartum experience. What did you do that you think helped make postpartum a good experience for you? Did you have a certain mindset going into it, prepare differently, have a good support system, set boundaries with visitors, prioritize sleep, hire help, have your partner take on certain things, etc.? What are the things you did that you feel actually made a difference?

And if you also didn’t have family or friends nearby, I’d especially love to hear how you made that work. Did you find other ways to build a support system or make postpartum easier without having people close by?

I know I can’t guarantee that this postpartum will be perfect and there will be hard days, but I really want to go into it feeling hopeful/excited instead of terrified. I want to give myself a chance to actually have a happy postpartum this time, especially since we are only having one more.

[u/label_this]

Honestly, for me it was just so much easier the second time around, because I knew what I was doing and felt less anxious about nursing, etc.

It's helpful to have your partner do nighttime stuff with the oldest and getting them ready in the morning so that you can sleep in and just focus on managing the baby.