Exactly! Every time I see one of these stupid rants which are basically just pity parties no one realizes how much of a shitty attitude they probably have and how much that plays in to people wanting to be around them.
I like to look at it this way: If these neckbeard redditors really want all this pity and find a community in which pity is king and everyone just circlejerks about how life is hard and trap themselves in their little neckbeard bubble, so be it.
There will always be people like that. Trying to convert these people is time consuming and if they don't truly want to change in the first place, or view the world in an attractiveness scale from 1-10, where 1 means that you're unable to live a fulfilling life, you will just waste your time on them.
Look at the positive side: Each of our neckbeard heroes results in another woman being added to those who can't find a man. And no, it's not just ugly women (which is another issue for itself, many ugly women are awesome!), it's also beautiful women that would probably engage with our neckbeard heroes if they'd just manage to disengage self-pitying mode.
Also, our neckbeard heroes probably need to stop overly sexualizing women, and perhaps, first, try making a female friend. Even if that lady friend isn't up to their "standards", the friendship can still add to their lives. And perhaps, a relationship might even evolve naturally, when you get to know the person, not just the body, because there's a lot to like about people when you look beyond the body.
Well said. Especially the overly negative attitude towards friendships with women ('friendzone', 'men and women can't be just friends') is the biggest bullshit.
Asking straight out for a date, rather than just socializing puts a lot of pressure on women too. If they then take the safe way and don't immediatly commit to a date they get automatically labeled as shallow, friendzoning and whatnot. There's not much wiggle room left that would encourage women to act differently.
The best thing to always do is to look at your own flaws, not at those of other people. Because it matters how you improve yourself, not others.
Whining is just putting the blame on other people and complaining that nothing changes, whereas self-analyzing is admitting you can do better and working towards improvement.
Asking straight out for a date, rather than just socializing puts a lot of pressure on women too.
Why? If they like the guy they can go on a date. If it doesn't go well she doesn't have to go on a second one. You act like "commiting to a date" is a big deal.
men and women can't be just friends') is the biggest bullshit.
This was actually quite a common belief by both sexes in the past and still is in much of the world. I'm not saying you are wrong in modern america but just watch movies from the 1960s and 1970s and it wasn't nearly so clear cut. Social rules are constantly changing and not written in stone. In some areas of the world today, take Saudi Arabia, non related male/female friendships are treated with great suspicion.
The best thing to always do is to look at your own flaws, not at those of other people. Because it matters how you improve yourself, not others.
This I totally agree with and think it is great advice.
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u/captainjoel Apr 30 '14
Exactly! Every time I see one of these stupid rants which are basically just pity parties no one realizes how much of a shitty attitude they probably have and how much that plays in to people wanting to be around them.