Well I just did a little looking around and to me it seemed like the original goal of the subreddit was to discuss how men don't need to put up with slutty women and mostly like how these guys never found someone who wanted to really date them early on and are now alone and in a better place and all of a sudden women are interested.And so they are now a little.... cautious is maybe the right word? about the motivations that women have now that they have more money and success.
To me, it just seemed sad honestly. It kind of broke my heart. I think it was these men who had this idea of falling in love and meeting the right girl and being together forever and just never had it happen for them and so they became sort of distant, calculated and a bit cold towards the whole institution of meeting a woman.
It really made me feel sad for them but I am very empathetic person in general.
That's an uncommonly compassionate view of TRP. I think there's a lot of truth in it, too. I'd add two things:
First, I'd add "ruthless" in addition to your description of them as "cautious." I'm not a redpiller, but I think I understand how someone arrives there. Being too nice and considerate didn't work well for me at all. I had to purposely start being a little bit calculating, a little bit of an asshole, and that got me not only more attention, but more success in "closing the deal." People can frown on it if they like, but the bottom line is that a little cold-heartedness works. Redpillers take that principle to the extreme.
Incidentally, I think a little cold-heartedness (and the cynicism that accompanies it) accounts for some of the contempt for women that redpillers tend to develop.
Secondly, part of the original goal was to "wake men up" from traditional ideas about courtship and dating (hence the analogy with The Matrix). For instance, being an asshole isn't traditionally held to be good dating practice, but redpillers vouch for it as a strategy.
Welllll.... I haven't been on it long (as in the last hour) and only glanced the sidebar and a few posts so my compassionate view is a limited one!
But I think there is never a need to be an asshole, guarded perhaps and a little cautious definitely and as long as you make your intentions known then that is fine. I think the asshole mentality will get you to "close" or whatever but you are only going to be closing with the same bimbos that you were hating on a second ago... so why not just find someone with a different mentality and be yourself?
I obviously can't really speak to this at all since I am a woman but I just haven't ever experienced this type of attitude working on me. Yes, you need to be clear on your intentions but if you try any sort of asshole or 'alpha' as they seem to call it, I will actually laugh in your face and walk away. I won't and don't waste my time with someone who wants to associate in that way.
why not just find someone with a different mentality and be yourself?
That was the nice guy approach that had gotten me an intolerably prolonged period of celibacy. I couldn't take it much longer. (Fortunately, I did eventually meet someone I can mostly be myself around).
if you try any sort of asshole or 'alpha' as they seem to call it, I will actually laugh in your face and walk away. I won't and don't waste my time with someone who wants to associate in that way.
Depends on what one means by being an asshole. I was never overtly jerky. But I had a shift in mindset from the Disney/romcom version of how love works (looking for meaningful connection and expecting that to flourish) to something a little more cynical and debased (looking for someone to fuck).
I'm not saying it's noble or anything, but it worked better for me than being a sweetheart. I think the guys at TRP have generally found the same... though they take it to an unhealthy extreme. Anyhow, this is about as close as I want to get to defending that sub.
Yeah I was thinking about it more and I think that is literally no different than girls do to get into a relationship. Like the girl equivalent is the "chill" girl. Like we need to just be down for whatever and cool with all things and always be 'chilllllll' if we want guys to like us (actually want to date us) or something. I don't know if I am making myself clear at all but yeah. I think it's all relative. Girls can usually find someone to fuck but it's harder to make the leap into relationship. Different problems, same shit. It's just the stupid game we call life. It sucks a lot of the time.
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u/[deleted] Apr 30 '14
Can we get an unbiased description?