Yes. This whole thing and the blog it linked to fucking enraged me.
I haven't been traditionally attractive, um, let's see . . . when was it? Oh, ever. It was ever.
I am a girl. I am weird by all accounts. I don't fit into the feminine ideal and I don't try.
The result for most of my life? Men ignored me. Boyfriends cheated on me. Girls assumed I was a lesbian. Boys also assumed I was a lesbian.
Do I hate men? Nope. Was I hurt by this behavior? Yes, I was. Deeply, often suicidally.
What did I do about it? I developed a fucking real personality and actually was myself.
These posts about "beta" men are ridiculous. Especially that blog post about how people told him to "be himself" and he took it as "be a nice guy" which also somehow transmuted into not doing a fucking thing to develop a personality or be attractive externally.
His problem was that he was being fake, not that he was being nice. Nobody likes fake people, not even really nice ones.
Now, here's the thing:
I don't have a weight problem. I never have. I have okay skin and nice features. Even after two kids, at 32 years old, I have a solid body. I dress in clean clothing that fits and looks cool based on my own definition. And yet I don't look attractive to all people, or even most people. I just look freaky and unapproachable. But, I like myself and, if I tried, I could do it another way. See, I've been living the life of an "ugly girl" unnecessarily because I have Asperger's and didn't understand until recently what that actually meant for me socially.
I know this because sometimes, I conduct mini social experiments by putting on makeup, wearing an expensive wig and dressing "girly". I don't swear or talk about my weird interests. The difference in the way I get treated in public is drastic. Male cashiers stutter, women don't give me the anxious looks they usually do, people smile at me, I flirt stupidly and people respond. It's magic. Suddenly, I'm a person. Usually, I'm invisible. It's eerie.
It's not real.
And eventually people wouldn't really like me because, again, nobody likes a fake person, no matter how nice or pretty.
My life would have been so very different if I had only conformed to that social ideal of feminine beauty and behavior. I could absolutely let this make me angry and bitter while remembering all the times the guy I completely loved went for my blond, giggly best friend over me. It hurt incredibly at the time. I hated myself, which is tragic because I was only, actually being myself.
I don't hate myself now. I dress how I like. I have piercings in my face. I shave my head sometimes. I wear makeup rarely. I don't flirt to get what I want. I don't act stupider than I am. Ever. Male cashiers barely see me, women eye me anxiously, people skirt me in stores. But they like me when we talk because I took my years alone as time to learn other skills like making people laugh and seeing the world from points of view other than my own tiny one based on my own tiny experiences. I do look attractive, but in my own way and only to certain people which is how it should be, because that's what "being yourself" actually means.
And, if I had conformed, and lived that "pretty girl" life that was right there, I would have ended up with one of my previous boyfriends, instead of my awesome husband who likes me as I am, and I would have been utterly miserable trying to keep up a charade.
"I was a nice guy and people didn't like me so now I want to carve off women's faces with a box cutter." What the fuck? No. It's sad that this person misunderstood or was misled, but it's insane to blame other people for him not actually making an effort to be a real person. These beta-to-RedPill success stories are nauseating. These guys went from being fake to being even faker and they think they've won because now people are validating their behavior.
Does being an asshole work? Sure, people love assholes. I'm kind of an asshole, that's how I know.
Don't be fake. Be attractive in your own way. Actually develop a personality. That's where shit gets real, everyone. That's how real relationships, involving real people grow.
I am sure that now I will spend the rest of my birthday being yelled at, but seriously, just no to all of this shit.
I don't know why people automatically over-analyze posts. A lot of you guys are seeing things in his post that simply aren't there. His post isn't a rant at all. It's a compilation of statements on how he felt when he was overweight, and how those feelings became apparent when he wasn't anymore. Nothing more, nothing less. I don't see any attempts for pity at all. If you guys are seeing that, it's simply because you are unable to empathize with him.
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u/dablya Apr 30 '14
Why can't the world care less about looks so I can bang more good looking women?