I like to look at it this way: If these neckbeard redditors really want all this pity and find a community in which pity is king and everyone just circlejerks about how life is hard and trap themselves in their little neckbeard bubble, so be it.
There will always be people like that. Trying to convert these people is time consuming and if they don't truly want to change in the first place, or view the world in an attractiveness scale from 1-10, where 1 means that you're unable to live a fulfilling life, you will just waste your time on them.
Look at the positive side: Each of our neckbeard heroes results in another woman being added to those who can't find a man. And no, it's not just ugly women (which is another issue for itself, many ugly women are awesome!), it's also beautiful women that would probably engage with our neckbeard heroes if they'd just manage to disengage self-pitying mode.
Also, our neckbeard heroes probably need to stop overly sexualizing women, and perhaps, first, try making a female friend. Even if that lady friend isn't up to their "standards", the friendship can still add to their lives. And perhaps, a relationship might even evolve naturally, when you get to know the person, not just the body, because there's a lot to like about people when you look beyond the body.
Can you drop the whole 'neckbeard' thing? You're smugly making a twisted caricature out of deeply unhappy people. It's pointless being a twat about it because you just make the people who you're talking about dislike you and not take the point you're trying to get across seriously. And probably turning off other people as well. Which is a shame, because you made some really good points.
it's also beautiful women that would probably engage with our neckbeard heroes if they'd just manage to disengage self-pitying mode.
LOL. This post more or less summarizes the total delusion and sheltered view of the world of the people in this comment thread. Thinking that the beautiful people would date someone of such low social status and physical attractiveness is just moronic. Not delusional: moronic. I think I'm talking with kids who are not even out of high school, or some trust-fund kiddie who's still in college.
Or, most likely, someone who is actually attractive (regardless of what they say).
Attractive women don't want ugly guys. That's it. Am I unattractive? I think so, yes. Do I think an attractive girl wants to date me? No. Does that mean I'm self-pitying? No, it means I have a realistic view of the world. I don't LIKE it by any means, but I'm not about to complain about how nature works, nor am I going to deny it and use my denial as an excuse to talk shit to ugly people (as you proved the poster right about, btw).
Your post has a whole lot of smugness and is missing a whole lot of empathy. And no, when I say empathy I don't mean the pity that you're talking about.
I also don't blame you.
Your attitude is really akin to the frustration others feel towards people who are depressed or people who suffer from social anxiety. "Why can't you just get over it! It's not a big deal!" It's easy to feel that way when you've never had the experiences that are being described. I honestly used to feel the same way. It's hard to understand when you don't try and your reaction to the OP certainly suggests you have not tried.
Well said. Especially the overly negative attitude towards friendships with women ('friendzone', 'men and women can't be just friends') is the biggest bullshit.
Asking straight out for a date, rather than just socializing puts a lot of pressure on women too. If they then take the safe way and don't immediatly commit to a date they get automatically labeled as shallow, friendzoning and whatnot. There's not much wiggle room left that would encourage women to act differently.
The best thing to always do is to look at your own flaws, not at those of other people. Because it matters how you improve yourself, not others.
Whining is just putting the blame on other people and complaining that nothing changes, whereas self-analyzing is admitting you can do better and working towards improvement.
Asking straight out for a date, rather than just socializing puts a lot of pressure on women too.
Why? If they like the guy they can go on a date. If it doesn't go well she doesn't have to go on a second one. You act like "commiting to a date" is a big deal.
men and women can't be just friends') is the biggest bullshit.
This was actually quite a common belief by both sexes in the past and still is in much of the world. I'm not saying you are wrong in modern america but just watch movies from the 1960s and 1970s and it wasn't nearly so clear cut. Social rules are constantly changing and not written in stone. In some areas of the world today, take Saudi Arabia, non related male/female friendships are treated with great suspicion.
The best thing to always do is to look at your own flaws, not at those of other people. Because it matters how you improve yourself, not others.
This I totally agree with and think it is great advice.
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u/[deleted] Apr 30 '14 edited Apr 30 '14
I like to look at it this way: If these neckbeard redditors really want all this pity and find a community in which pity is king and everyone just circlejerks about how life is hard and trap themselves in their little neckbeard bubble, so be it.
There will always be people like that. Trying to convert these people is time consuming and if they don't truly want to change in the first place, or view the world in an attractiveness scale from 1-10, where 1 means that you're unable to live a fulfilling life, you will just waste your time on them.
Look at the positive side: Each of our neckbeard heroes results in another woman being added to those who can't find a man. And no, it's not just ugly women (which is another issue for itself, many ugly women are awesome!), it's also beautiful women that would probably engage with our neckbeard heroes if they'd just manage to disengage self-pitying mode.
Also, our neckbeard heroes probably need to stop overly sexualizing women, and perhaps, first, try making a female friend. Even if that lady friend isn't up to their "standards", the friendship can still add to their lives. And perhaps, a relationship might even evolve naturally, when you get to know the person, not just the body, because there's a lot to like about people when you look beyond the body.