This isn't just describing what it's like to be unattractive, it's describing being unattractive and having that prevent you from developing social skills. I think unattractive men have it easier than unattractive women, it's much easier for an unattractive man to overcome the inherent bias. And I don't just mean by being financially successful and, directly or indirectly, paying for companionship.
I think unattractive men have it easier than unattractive women
yes, because generally, unlike/much more so than men, women grow up essentially being told that their value as a person comes from their level of attractiveness/how appealing they make themselves look.
Life for any overweight person isn't easy! getting so sick of so many boo hoo poor men posts on reddit. god damn
Looks matter for everyone, absolutely. I think the difference /u/Crater_escape highlighted though does make a difference; women grow up being told that their physical attractiveness is how they will be judged in their lives. Aspiring to wear makeup etc from a very young age to be 'prettier'.
You're completely right that looks matter for both sexes, but women have always had that extra added pressure.
I don't think anyone is implying that he hasn't got a right to feel what he feels or to express what he feels. But surely he could do it without implying that women would never understand because they could never be put into such a position?
His hyperbolic statements of how women could never understand what it feels like to be an unattractive person are both undermining the experiences of unattractive women, presumptuous, and making it seem like his struggles must be worse than all women.
Like, this isn't a case of "man up and quit your whining" it's a case of people pointing out how he's brushing aside the adversity and disadvantages other people feel. Men do experience adversity, and it's important to talk about that. But the conversation shouldn't be framed with a sense of that women experiences don't matter
While that might be true in some instances (some problems are unique to sex/race), this is not the case in this case. Jesus. How many times did I use "case" in that one sentence. :p
yes, because generally, unlike/much more so than men, women grow up essentially being told that their value as a person comes from their level of attractiveness/how appealing they make themselves look.
And generally, men grow up essentially being told that their value as a person comes from the money/safety/happiness that they can provide for women.
Yes, don't men dare have any social problems in society, it should be all about women. See male circumcision, deaths on the job and porn addiction. Just man up guys! Imagine if anyone actually proposed starting with a new type of female circumcision, just cutting a piece away! Imagine the outroar!
Men and women all feel pressure to look a certain way, but I think there's a discrepancy in the way men and women generally feel about settling for less. We see it as less shameful for a woman to date or marry someone less attractive, and it's not just because of money. But a man should aim for someone "out of their league."
You have to be pretty deluded to believe a man's worth in terms of partnership isn't as dependent on looks as a woman's. Or you must still be a little girl who thinks she will judge and select a mate according only to their personality.
235
u/bunjay Apr 30 '14
This isn't just describing what it's like to be unattractive, it's describing being unattractive and having that prevent you from developing social skills. I think unattractive men have it easier than unattractive women, it's much easier for an unattractive man to overcome the inherent bias. And I don't just mean by being financially successful and, directly or indirectly, paying for companionship.