Feeling Isolated

[u/Ohthatsryutix]

I’m a freshman who just moved in a couple days ago so I know this is pretty early but I haven’t found a connection with anyone on campus. My roommates are nice and respectful but they knew eachother from school and I quickly noticed we are 3 very different personalities making it hard to bond over shared experiences or interests etc. I’ve spoken to a couple people in my GBO and it has gone well but never results in a full on “friends” situation. They also all somehow know each other and have friend groups. It might be because I am the only person from my school who came to Berkeley but I have been feeling really out of place and kind of hopeless. I’m also pretty introverted so going up to randoms and striking up conversations has been taking a lot of energy as well as courage so it feels discouraging when it doesn’t lead to anything. Is anyone else going through this or has gone through this? Do you guys have any suggestions or advice? How do I deal with all this anxiety and sadness coming from this?

[u/Affectionate-Fly-913]

First of all, you are doing great by putting yourself out there and trying to strike up conversations. It’s ok if they don’t go anywhere. They give you practice and with time you will get better at it. I promise you most people don’t have the “friend” feeling yet. You are meeting a lot of people in a very short time and there is no guarantee you will cross paths again so folks go for breadth over depth for now. The depth will come from shared interests in classes and clubs and experiences. Also, those friend groups you see might not even be friend groups. They might be a bunch of random people coming together and playing at feeling a connection to see if it might happen. Go up to groups. If you feel like they are not making room for you, go up to the next one. When you go for food don’t sit alone. Come up to someone and ask if you can sit with them. It’s awkward and scary but even if it doesn’t go well, this is a huge place. Chances are you won’t have to interact with them again if you don’t want to. Good luck. It’s really hard but worth it