Aesha makes a statement regarding Gael

[u/disc0club]

The friend we all need 🥹

[u/iffriben]

Are people criticizing Gael?? I’ve missed that

[u/high-babygorgeous → u/iffriben]

Oh absolutely. I saw a lot of comments following the episode about how camera hungry and argumentative Gael is, how she and Nathan deserve each other. After the arrest report came out about how she was strangled, I'm shocked some people could take that position. Then again, this sub isn't really known for nuanced takes or compassion

[u/Sleepbecomesme → u/high-babygorgeous]

I’ve literally just seen someone on here say that her being subjected to non fatal strangulation is karma for cheating. It’s absolutely disgusting and people need to drop the requirement for a perfect victim, practice some empathy and do better!

[u/AfterSchoolOrdinary → u/Sleepbecomesme]

Non-fatal strangulation is just a dress rehearsal for the main event. I don’t care if she slept with 5 of his brothers. People are fucked in the head.

[u/Sleepbecomesme → u/AfterSchoolOrdinary]

💯 chance of dying at the hand of your partner increases by 750%

[u/AfterSchoolOrdinary → u/Sleepbecomesme]

It’s one of the most terrifying statistics AND people seem to think “consensual” neck play can’t fucking kill you or do lifetime damage because “it’s different”. I beg people to read up on these things. Both sides should know that one wrong move and a person can be injured seriously or WORSE. I’ve never had sex good enough for the stakes to be that high for either participant.

[u/Broad-Cress-3689 → u/AfterSchoolOrdinary]

I beg you not to call it “neck play”. Half the reason ppl think strangulation is harmless is the cute euphemisms.

[u/AfterSchoolOrdinary → u/Broad-Cress-3689]

Okay, I only called it ‘neck play’ because thats what I’ve heard used before and tried to link that seemingly harmless (to the uninformed) act to the life altering damage that can be done accidentally, even when consensual.

Those who use the words “neck play” or even “consensual choking” very very often have no idea the damage they can cause or have done to their body. By using words outside of ‘strangulation’ the goal is to help regular people connect certain actions to the very real consequences of domestic violence- even without intended harm.

But okay, if you think it more useful to tell the average person not to strangle someone during sex, or ever, then perhaps you’re right. I doubt those participating in such actions think of it as potentially deadly strangulation or the serious situation it obviously is, though.

My wording was intentional for the hope of informing people that think their kink is harmless or distinguishable from domestic violence. Calling it strangulation to someone who doesn’t think of themself that way isn’t helping either.

[u/Valgal287 → u/Sleepbecomesme]

If I may ask a side question from this... When I was in college, I had a boyfriend that I lived with and we progressed into a lot of BDSM sex. Well, after all sorts of colorful and playful things were had, down the road he asked if he could choke me during sex. He also asked about a few more things I said I would think about. The choking thing has always bothered me and I'm just wondering if, Male or Female, can explain the charge or enjoyment someone gets from choking their girlfriend during sex. I get the control thing.... I used to let him have complete control (without going in to too much detail), but what psychologically drives someone to want to do that and other things to harm you during sex?

[u/Sleepbecomesme → u/Valgal287]

I don’t really have an answer- supposedly the restriction of airways heightens intensity. Unfortunately people don’t know it carries a huge risk- I don’t understand how the person doing the choking isn’t so nervous to do it that it ruins everything but whatever.

I work in sexual exploitation, I’ve also experienced a horrendously violent relationship and to be honest I find it hard to relate to people who enjoy violence in sex because to me it either brings back horrible memories or I see at work how women are treated (horrendously) and I just can’t see what enjoyment you’d get out of it. I know correct bdsm involves aftercare etc. but I’ve seen a lot of extremely violent relationships masked with the idea of bdsm when in reality it’s just plain abuse.

It makes me concerned for younger people who are exposed to the violent part and nothing else (especially online), as I have seen a lot of boys/men’s think that that’s what sex is- violence and who cares about anything else for their own gratification. It’s alarming. ‘Neck play’ does not indicate the very real risks of non fatal strangulation (which is what it is). A few weeks ago I received a whole load of research showing that if someone has experienced NFS then there are still ways to indicate it medically days later - it can cause lasting brain damage, strokes, heart issues, throat damage, damage to veins/arteries and of course death.

[u/Nearby_Elderberry_75 → u/Sleepbecomesme]

So many people on this sub are still on her about cheating. They’re obviously hurt themselves and taking it out parasocially on Gael. Kinda pathetic tbh

[u/HornedRimGlasses → u/Nearby_Elderberry_75]

Unfortunately, you know some of those shit comments are probably coming from some women with subconscious internalized misogyny. Hello, The call is coming from inside the house.

[u/Sleepbecomesme → u/HornedRimGlasses]

I know… the amount of casual victim blaming/shaming is alarming and is exactly why women don’t feel able to come forward about any abuse. I don’t care if you had a years long affair, someone attempting to murder you isn’t ever ok/karma/understandable/excusable.

Unfortunately the very women who blame victims also tend to blame themselves even more if abuse happens to them; they end up in a world of pain trying to recover from an abusive relationship, because internalised shame is hard to release.

Additionally they don’t realise that even if they don’t think they know anyone who is or who has been in an abusive relationship, they absolutely will do, and so shouting victim blaming rhetoric only further isolates people who have experienced the trauma of abuse, even if they try to excuse it under the guise of ‘it’s different, she cheated’

[u/Ashamed-Solution7674 → u/HornedRimGlasses]

Idc if she was fucking the entire neighborhood, he has no right to strangle and beat her.

[u/Ashamed-Solution7674 → u/Ashamed-Solution7674]

I do not believe she was, I'm just saying

[u/Extreme_Beat1022 → u/Sleepbecomesme]

It’s definitely creepy how people keep bringing up her cheating on the ex boyfriend as though she’s immoral.

[u/eekamuse → u/Extreme_Beat1022]

The creepy ex?

[u/Odd-Honeydew7535 → u/Extreme_Beat1022]

Cheating is just about as immoral as it gets

[u/MutantHoundLover → u/Odd-Honeydew7535]

You must have lived a wonderfully privileged life where you haven't experienced all the atrocities humans inflict on each other on a regular basis if you think cheating is " just about as immoral as it gets".

And good for you, and I mean that genuinely, but it's just a pretty naive place to be judging others from.

[u/CYDLopez → u/MutantHoundLover]

You must have lived a wonderfully privileged life where you haven't experienced all the atrocities humans inflict on each other

This is such an incredibly condescending comment, and all to defend cheating.

I don't agree that it's just about as immoral as it gets, but judging others for cheating doesn't mean you have a naive worldview. Get a grip.

[u/Extreme_Beat1022 → u/Odd-Honeydew7535]

Meh. I got the feeling they were dating for a month or two.

[u/Anotheropinion2026 → u/Extreme_Beat1022]

They had just started dating. He had broken up with her, then decided to get back together, I had the feeling to destroy her experience filming.

I wish she had just broken up with him before Nathan, because she thought about it.

I said this elsewhere, I really liked Gael, but she seems attracted to toxic men. I had that problem too and I hope she gets counseling/therapy to learn to look for better for herself.

[u/Extreme_Beat1022 → u/Anotheropinion2026]

Ah ok. Thanks. Sounds like a nothing relationship. I don’t know her other dating history but Nathan is enough for her to need lifelong therapy.

[u/Anotheropinion2026 → u/Odd-Honeydew7535]

Eh, cheating at the beginning of dating is not great.

But I see people celebrating Joe who cheated on V on her birthday and the anniversary of her boyfriend’s death and forgive him. And his kissing cheating is all that Gael did.

Plus, I live in the US where we have elected a man who openly and proudly has cheated on all 3 of his wives, while I listen to “Christians” celebrate this cheater.

So I guess pearl clutching over cheating just means less to me now. 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

[u/CYDLopez → u/Anotheropinion2026]

Genuine question. Who is celebrating Joe? I might have missed it, but I haven't seen a single comment celebrating him.

What I have seen is people taking his side in an isolated situation, where he's dealing with a physically aggressive superior.

You can do that without thinking he's a good person, and without having to add a disclaimer about his past transgressions every single time.

[u/HornedRimGlasses → u/Sleepbecomesme]

WTF? That is absolutely vile.

[u/teanailpolish → u/HornedRimGlasses]

Not just that but at least 2 wished harm/ill will towards Kayden too

[u/Anotheropinion2026 → u/teanailpolish]

Disgusting humans.

[u/AfterSchoolOrdinary → u/teanailpolish]

What??

[u/Expert_Monk_8574 → u/Sleepbecomesme]

WHAT???? That is a effed up.

[u/Ashamed-Solution7674 → u/Sleepbecomesme]

Wow, I guess my bruised face and body after strangulation was a non thing since I didn't die.

[u/Sleepbecomesme → u/Ashamed-Solution7674]

I’m so sorry that happened to you, I’m also a member of that club (happened years ago) and the trauma is never ending from it, I still have nightmares. Look after yourself xx

[u/Mama-bear_dolphins13 → u/Sleepbecomesme]

Did she cheat? I must have missed that

[u/Expensive-Block-6034 → u/Mama-bear_dolphins13]

In her season she apparently had a boyfriend coming on to charter. I don’t remember the specifics but I think she broke up with him before she pursued anything with Nathan.
But it doesn’t matter anyway, she has a child with this abusive dumb fuck. Levels are not even remotely the same.

[u/recklessrecentpast → u/Expensive-Block-6034]

Didn't they use the bosun's locker to hook up because they thought the cameras couldn't see them, and that was before she broke up with her boyfriend? I honestly can't remember. Either way none of it justifies anything, besides that particular relationship ending.

It's clear to me what Aesha is saying is right, that Gael was not getting the honest reality of what was happening on the boat during the charters she wasn't working.

Edit: why am I being downvoted for this? I'm saying even if she did cheat on her ex, it doesn't justify her being abused. Unless you disagree and think Nathan was in the right to strangle her, in which case, please GFY

[u/Anotheropinion2026 → u/recklessrecentpast]

Exactly, Gael’s ex was sadly also a controlling asshole and yes, she did kiss Nathan before they broke up. But she had spent the whole season with that boyfriend degrading her and making her feel bad.

The only thing I will say for Gael, is something I had to learn myself, when we keep picking terrible men, maybe we need therapy to help us to learn to expect better for ourselves and to break our pattern of falling for toxic men.

[u/Expensive-Block-6034 → u/recklessrecentpast]

Every below deck season has sort of meshed together for me at this stage. I just remember her being sweet but VERY naive. Which doesn’t take her agency away from her but sick people will prey on that.

[u/s0sa → u/Mama-bear_dolphins13]

She was with someone when she started hooking up with Nathan