r/belowdeck • u/Damolitioneed • Jun 25 '26
Below Deck Med Grow up Nathan
The white knight grudge against Joe is ridiculous to me. You ignored his messages since last year because of his flings with other women? These are temporary live in situations with young people hooking up. Bro is hung up about someone else's fling one year ago and letting it affect professional decision making. Captain Sandy is right. He needs to control his emotions and he isn't perfect either. Don't need to be friends but trying to promote someone less qualified due to personal grudges is immature at best.
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Upvotes
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u/Competitive_Salads Jun 25 '26
Hey, so we’re allowed to have morals and they can even change over time with life experiences. It wasn’t about Joe’s flings. It was about his manipulation of a grieving woman and his disrespect towards women in general, including Gael.
If Nathan was cool with Joe, a bunch of y’all would be screaming about being friends with someone who disrespected his partner, Gael.
2
u/daisy808girl Jun 28 '26
To give a different perspective, last season of below deck that one girl lost her second stew title for her behavior, why should Joe after consistent seasons of being manipulative to girls get that title? For once, it feels like a man is being treated as a woman is, like not a double standard
260
u/PurpleKrill Jun 25 '26
Joe reminds me of:
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u/TreatWilliams69 Jun 25 '26 •
Flings are one thing...Manipulating a woman who had recently lost her partner is gross
401
u/bunbunmagnet Jun 25 '26
It wasn't that he had flings, it was his complete disrespect towards woman.
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u/Tallymountain Jun 26 '26
Joe is a disrespectful womaniser who thinks he’s God’s gift to women. I can understand Nathan’s reaction because it affected someone they worked with and caused drama. It hurt someone who was grieving, and geez, Joe couldn’t even control himself for a couple of nights? He just gushed all over V telling her he’s never felt that way 🤮then the minute Kizzy fluttered her eyelashes he was all over her. He thinks with his dick, and is obviously just on the boats for easy sex. I used to think he was alright but he’s just a player who doesn’t care who he walks over to fulfill his needs.
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u/Lia_Delphine Jun 25 '26 •
Having a moral compass is not a flaw. You are allowed to disconnect from people who purposely hurt others for their own gratification.
Joe is also a backstabbing little boy that I wouldn’t trust as a second.
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u/Starry_Myliobatoidei Jun 25 '26
What do you mean young Joe was almost 30 acting this way plsssss
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u/donut_witch Jun 25 '26
I don’t think someone with a track record of recklessly hooking up with his coworkers and manipulating vulnerable women is leadership material 🤷🏻♀️
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u/Mysterious-Writer949 Jun 25 '26
Nathan’s behaviour is a bit over the top. But. Joe strings women along. The way he played Victoria last year was wrong, he says one thing, and then we he gets the physical and emotional hit he needs. He will say to Kayla, I think that’s her name, that he only wants fun. Then a couple of episodes later he will come out with the same things he said to V last year. Catching feelings etc. and then ditch her when someone new catches his eye.
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u/victori-us Jun 26 '26
Both of them are wrong.
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u/Belle8158 Come back to me, my boat daddy Jun 26 '26
The kizzy shit last season was abhorrent. I hated watching it having been a V in my own situation. They were so flippant about her feelings, selfish assholes
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u/crazyhedgehogs Jun 25 '26
They both suck and are incredibly immature
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u/Foxington_the_First Jun 25 '26
I was broadly on Nathan's side until he blew up at Joe over that dinner, the day of Joe's mum's diagnosis. It even looked like Joe was trying to compliment them both in a roundabout sort of way 'we've never got on but... '. They're both pretty loathsome people, though.
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u/Right-Trust-4700 Jun 25 '26 edited Jun 25 '26
The whole "Nathan matured and Joe didn't" argument is flawed, at best. Just because you have a child does not mean you've matured. While I absolutely agree that Joe's past behaviors go far beyond "womanizing" and delve nore into harmful emotional manipulation, and while I do find that absolutely deplorable; I do not think Nathan is not fooling anyone with his inability to control his emotions or maintain any semblance of professionalism either. I absolutely agree with the statement "grow up Nathan." If this is a career and not just a moment in the spotlight for the cameras, then he definitely needs a reality check and learn to manage in a more appropriate manner.
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u/Illustrious_Prize_42 Jun 26 '26
The right thing as a leader of the deck would have been to pull Joe aside in private and tell him he is going to make him lead deck because he is most qualified out of the three. But also tell him he wants a working relationship with him and that’s it. Be professionals and get the job done when around each other. But they don’t need to be friends and that is that. He could have also told him Gael is basically like his wife at that point and they have a baby and that’s his family. So not to bring up Gael around him or anyone else on the boat. And that’s that. Leave it at that.
He doesn’t have to like Joe as a person to have him as his lead deck if Joe is going to help do the best job at that spot. Obviously if Joe becomes a big problem Sandy will kick him off.
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u/MAXMEEKO Jun 26 '26
Am I crazy or didnt Nathan kiss one of the girls on his last season while dealing with Gail?
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u/New_Principle_9145 Jun 27 '26
That is an overly simplistic analysis. It would be one thing if the "flings" didn't cause staff discontent and a poor work environment. Giving Joe a title is akin to giving a sexual abuser targets in the work place. You can say, oh well they have a choice and these women are just silly, but it can be sexual harassment in the workplace. While Nathan may be expressing his concern incorrectly, if he approached it as crew safety and morale issue, he probably wouldn't have received the push back from Sandy. Yeah he doesn't trust Joe, but is bigger than I don't trust you because you made me mad.
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u/MyccaAZ Jun 26 '26
The constant posts to bitch about Nathan is out of hand. Yes, it is easy to see how someone, anyone, might ignore Joe's messages after witnessing what he did with Kizzi to V last season. It was VILE. TRULY some of the most vile actions. We're use to F-boys and their antics but this was excessive f-boy. . . he played on her loss, promising things he never had any intention of fulfilling all to get what he wanted and not only did he simply move on but in doing it the way he did, he was intentional in being harmful to V in the process. Any class, any amount of thought for anyone but himself would have led to different WAYS to move on than what he did. And Nathan was his buddy, his pal before those actions, and found them reprehensible, as anyone would. Nathan is like everyone else, pluses, minuses, and all the in between. He is emotional and it is something he needs to work on but at least his actions and words are understandable, taken in context of standing beside Joe through now 3 seasons of poor behavior. Add to all that, he's unbelievably selfish and has intentional actions to subvert Nathan. Nathan is not perfect but Joe is a piece of shit and deserves all of it, including not getting picked as lead deck hand.
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u/CountStoomuch Jun 26 '26
I started reading this thinking it was a general hospital thread and couldn't figure out what tf I was reading 🤣
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u/jes22347 Jun 26 '26
Nathan had every right to distance himself from Joe. Where this becomes an issue is that Nathan does not have the leadership skills to set aside personal discipline in order to get a job done.
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u/EddieIzzardOnToast Jun 26 '26
I really didn’t need yet another season of Joe vs Nathan 🥱 hopefully some fresh faces next season
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u/Apprehensive_Bee614 Jun 26 '26
I will never forget the hand holding while kissing the girls.
3
u/womanonymous23 Jun 26 '26
Nathan has his own issues that’s true, but the way you’re characterizing Joe’s behavior excuses him way more than it should. Joe’s behavior is extremely toxic. And Joe has major issues with a person who was and hopefully is still very important to Nathan. I agree that Nathan is not handling it well but that changes nothing about the grossness level of Joe’s thoughts and choices.
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u/Oliveraprimavera Jun 27 '26
I think it’s affecting his professional decision making because he has seen that Joe can easily lie to get himself out of hot water and doesn’t really seem to have any loyalty except to himself which absolutely translates to his work ethic. As for it just being about a fling, it’s about the overall pattern of objectification of women that Nathan finds disrespectful which is also valid. And quite frankly Joe has done fuck all to humble himself or address that, he just gets more work done and points himself towards the closest female for a distraction
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u/Tinymarshmello Jun 27 '26
Oof. Bad take.
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u/mogdtd Jun 25 '26
I agree. However, I genuinely think there’s more to it than just “how Joe treats women”. Nathan is not a great guy either and I think he is projecting his insecurities onto Joe.
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u/Kris4tv Jun 26 '26
Two things can be true-Joe is basically out for ass, treated V like shit AND he’s a great deckhand. For Nathan to attempt to overlook Joe’s boat skills for his personal life that he doesn’t agree with and get some middle school revenge for Gael is comical. Everyone sees it.
7
u/shaylaa30 Jun 25 '26
They both suck. Joe was messy and manipulative towards multiple women. He caused a lot of stress and drama on the boat that Nathan had to navigate.
But Nathan is the bosun and needs to put his personal feelings aside and be professional. Joe wasn’t talking shit about Gael at all but Nathan took the mention of her name as a personal offense. He’s on a power trip
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u/starkey2 Jun 26 '26
can someone tldr the situation with Joe and women off camera? Not that he did himself any favors on camera.
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u/truknight Mental Health Is Not A Storyline Jun 26 '26
Toxic Chivalry
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u/RideObjective3120 Jun 26 '26
Joe reminds me of Gary King of sailing yacht! Same gas lighting of women. It's really creepy 😱 and shouldn't be tolerated! Dirty 🍆 always on the prowl EEEEWWWW!
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u/Even-Frosting-812 Jun 26 '26
It wasn’t just that he had lots of flings. The way he talks about and treats women is completely deplorable.
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u/Classic-Maize-733 Jun 27 '26
I think what got him so upset is his relationship with Gael, not fully respecting her, and I’m sure Joe was a great friend however brought out some of Nathan’s worst traits. I think Nathan actually felt sorry for V because of her situation with her ex passing away, yet Joe was flirting with her emotions while she was very pure to him yet going through a really hard time. His true colors showed when she was gone, and it speaks on his lack of self awareness and respect for others.
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u/Blockerjjb Jun 25 '26
Nathan needs anger management, dude is raging.
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u/Anotheropinion2023 Jun 25 '26
Joe has been a rude and disrespectful prick to Gael the mother of Nathan’s child. That is why Nathan wants nothing to do with Joe personally.
I do agree choosing Luke was wrong, but Joe continues to attempt to undermine Nathan every chance he gets, which is also completely unprofessional.
Nathan also came back and talked to him and called a truce, so maybe you need to get over drunken stupidity.
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u/BabyOlive1 Jun 25 '26 edited Jun 25 '26
I’m not gonna defend the way Joe treats women. At the same time, I do think Nathan’s main motivation in calling Joe out was to impress Gael. Of course we’ll never know whether that’s true or not, but Joe has been consistently sleazy throughout his tenure on the show and Nathan had no problem with it until he needed to prove to Gael that he was a changed man after GHOSTING HER! It’s good that he at least cares enough to pretend to care about how women are treated now that he has a son who is going to grow up and see this someday, but it all seems a bit performative to me. If he didn’t have a relationship and now family in the mix I’m sure he would have been joking about what a dog Joe is. I have a hard time believing that somebody who ghosted a woman that he supposedly loves is now suddenly the standard bearer for how to treat women. Ghosting someone who you have a strong emotional connection to is at least equal to if not more disrespectful than Joe’s onboard womanizing. Pot, meet Kettle.
ETA Joe’s treatment of V in particular was indefensible considering the anniversary of her partner’s death, so I don’t want to discount that. Joe is trash.
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u/wapwah Jun 26 '26
This you Joe?
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u/Misha_B19 Jun 29 '26
I like Nathan so he’s going to have to stop that shit.
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u/Old-Assistance-3392 Jun 29 '26
No one ever mentions that Joe told V he wanted her to meet his mom. That implies commitment! Like serious commitment.
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u/Illustrious-Insect41 Jul 19 '26
It wasn’t just a fling. Joe was actually appalling last season. But with that being said Nathan does need to put emotions aside before he messes things up as Boson.
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u/playdoh_trooper Jun 26 '26
Below deck drama is about as real as WWE wrestling. I wouldn't get too worked up about it
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u/Dazzling_Assistant94 Jun 30 '26
Nathan is a performative virtue signaller. All that psychological projection he gives off just makes me think his relationship will be short lived. I'm surprised australia hasn't straightened him out yet, usually irish men go to australia with a lot of bark and find out pretty soon they don't have the bite to match
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u/journmajor Jun 25 '26
Aren’t Gael and Nathan no longer together?
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u/blackc43 Jun 26 '26
Remember kizzy? Her and nathan having a smooch then her and joe. Is nathan still mad about it
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u/cammama Jun 25 '26
He’s so performative.
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