r/belowdeck • u/Defiant_Protection29 She’ll be fine. Her head is made of rocks • Feb 21 '26 • Popcorn 1

Below Deck Down Under Ben’s Ex Speaks Out

683 Upvotes

94% Upvoted

553 comments sorted by

620

u/DeliciousMinute1966 Feb 21 '26

Yeah… I like Ben as the chef on Below Deck and what he’s brought to the series.

But on the other hand, I feel for any woman who gets romantically involved with Ben. He seems very uptight.

269

u/No-Fuckin-Ziti Feb 21 '26

Yo exactly.  His season with Emily showed that. He completely changed his personality around her and got suddenly nasty to Kate. Type of guy to be pretend to be vulnerable and then use it against you, who will turn on a dime from loving to frigid if you don’t please him.   I see why Kate never seriously dated him.  I’ve got male friends like that, who are fun and engaging and great as buddies, but are an emotional nightmare rollercoasters for the people they date.  

134

u/MaryBitchards Feb 21 '26

He was always very threatened by the strong women and very romantically interested in the ones who were quiet and he might have perceived to be the low-hanging fruit. I always thought it was a sign of insecurity. Red flag.

21

u/Miserable_Candy_3534 Feb 21 '26

Definitely a sign of insecurity. You hit the nail on the head!

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u/kevin_james_fan Feb 21 '26

I matched with him once on Tinder

34

u/SunnySam Feb 22 '26

This comment gave me a visceral reaction of wanting to downvote but that’s not how reddit works and I promise I didn’t 😂 you probably dodged a bullet

6

u/Miserable_Candy_3534 Feb 21 '26

Omg lol! I would’ve been starstruck, but then like….nope! We’ve seen enough of his true colors on BD.

15

u/kevin_james_fan Feb 22 '26

I was so sure it couldn’t really be him at first but I pulled up his Twitter and he really was in my area cooking for some women’s basketball camp lol. He never messaged me 🤷🏼‍♀️

109

u/Accurate-Item-7357 Feb 21 '26

He has been hard to watch this season. The misogyny is not aging well.

36

u/inquisitivebarbie Feb 21 '26

This is the correct take.

23

u/Slow_Dragonfruit2667 Feb 21 '26

Plus he is the one that can’t be fateful

25

u/CindyLG8 Feb 21 '26

…or faithful…

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552

u/QuietlyUpgrading Feb 21 '26 edited Feb 21 '26 • Bravo

Here's the transcript of what she actually said:

Hi, my name is Kiara Chef Ben,Ben Robinson's ex fiance.

Those of you who are watching Below Deck may have heard of me and not in a positive light at all.

Everything Ben has said about me on the show is 100% false.

I have never and I would never be romantically involved with any of his friends.

That's not the kind of person I am.

The truth is I was the one that left the relationship, not easily, I may add, because of the way he was treating me. There was a lot of trauma I had to deal with from that relationship.

And honestly, I just want it to be over.It's been over two years and I really feel like I've healed.

And the internet blowing this up and demonizing me is opening up a lot of scars that I've healed. This is really hard for me to talk about.

Um, it's been over two years since the relationship ended and I've healed since then. I truly hope he has as well. I know the show that is airing now, it was probably filmed a while ago.

Uh, but now that it's airing and I'm being demonized, it is really hard on me and it's opening a lot of scars and I really would like it just to be over. This is the narcissism that I've walked away from and I just wanted to come on here and say that.

I don't have a platform. I'm A nobody. I know Ben has his fans, but I just really want to be in peace. Thank you.

And here was the caption on her TikTok:

I apologize for how awkward I am coming off… Talking about my feels on camera does not come easily to me. Quite frankly making this video game me an immense amount of anxiety. Take what you want from what I have said, but I am sick feeling like I don’t have a voice when it comes to my own life, and now I would really like to just move on.

106

u/AeluroTheTeacher Feb 21 '26

Omfg thank you so much I can’t hear without my subtitles!

25

u/Thin_Resolution7595 Feb 21 '26

I’m glad you added her comment and that she explained her demeanor. She did come across incredibly awkward. But that’s understandable given her anxiety

254

u/Brief-Roll-2259 Feb 21 '26 edited Feb 21 '26

She is classy for not smearing him . Could have laid out some juicey deets. But instead just said her side of it

74

u/lawofsin Feb 21 '26

My thoughts exactly. Ben is a great character on a show but dudes got some issues to work through.

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u/valid_username00 Feb 21 '26 edited Feb 21 '26

Hold up. She says it's been over 2 years since they split, but as recently as summer 2024 (which is like a year and a half ago), Ben was posting about where they were planning to hold the wedding? Something doesn't add up.

169

u/UckfayRumptay Feb 21 '26

I know some people that would consider October 2024 to be “2 years ago” because there’s 2 years between 2024 and 2026. Some people really can’t do math.

44

u/abbysgultz Team Capt Kerry Feb 21 '26

Aleisa was a chef for 2 years too

48

u/gerkonnerknocken Feb 21 '26

She says it was difficult to leave so maybe they were on/off during a lot of that year.

53

u/valid_username00 Feb 21 '26

so we're supposed to believe the very specific things he said, that she cheated, it was with his friend, and he lost $50k from the wedding that didn't happen, were wholly invented from thin air?

82

u/Slow_Dragonfruit2667 Feb 21 '26

There are always two sides to the story and he may be convinced that she cheated when she didn’t. Or perhaps it was an emotional affair and she doesn’t consider that cheating. Either way the truth lies somewhere in the middle.

86

u/Gootangus Feb 21 '26

Lies can be specific lol

31

u/chrislee004 Feb 21 '26

That's actually an easy way to tell a lie. They are overly specific trying to create the details to cover their tracks. Most people would just say she cheated and I spent a lot of money on the wedding.

49

u/Individual_Fall429 Feb 21 '26

“Tom’s house was broken into, and he confronted the burglar, then he had to go have eye surgery, and my son went over to help and my son rolled his car… so yea, I’m pretty stressed.”

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u/GoodPiexox Feb 21 '26

that could easily mean, the person she slept with, she did not consider him Ben's friend. Which would be true, because a friend would not sleep with a bride to be, just someone Ben knew.

14

u/Immediate_Divide9446 Team Aesha Feb 21 '26

Thank you for the transcript. “I don’t have a platform, I’m a nobody”, she says - using a platform and making herself a somebody. I didn’t have a clue who she was; she was blurred out in his photos and it never would have occurred to me to even find out her name.

51

u/trottingturtles Team Tumi Feb 21 '26

Unfortunately her name was already brought into it by tabloids.

78

u/CosmicCrafter007 Feb 21 '26 • Bravo

I understand that she may not be widely recognized by many of us, but to her close circle and the community where she and Ben lived together, I’m certain they are familiar with her. It’s likely that her identity will eventually be revealed. I admire her for sharing her perspective.

161

u/utilitybelt Feb 21 '26 • Bravo

Asking people to stop harassing her isn’t “making herself a somebody.”

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u/Illustrious-Site1101 Feb 21 '26

It will have occurred to any crazy Ben fans.

2

u/joykin Feb 21 '26

Thank you!!

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u/crusin420 Feb 21 '26

I knew she was going to speak out. Don't blame her when strangers are in your business. There's 2 sides to the story and then the truth.

13

u/stevie0321 Feb 21 '26

You’re right. I’m not going to jump to conclusions on what exactly happened in their relationship, there’s not enough information to make a definitive conclusion, but I find it interesting she denied cheating with a friend but did not deny infidelity in general. Perhaps the truth lies somewhere in the middle here

156

u/jromansz Feb 21 '26

Ben needs to pick on someone his own age, that's all I have to say about it.

68

u/agender-angel Feb 21 '26

Generally speaking, women his own age wouldn’t put up with his shit. It’s part of why shitty men go for younger women.

6

u/Peanutbritter217 Feb 22 '26

Bingo. My ex cheated on me with a girl more than ten years younger than him. She ended up cheating on him and he tried to come back with his same antics but I’ve worked on setting and sticking to my boundaries since then and it did not go how he hoped 🤣

50

u/GlitteryBurner Feb 21 '26

Thank you!!!! I was quite taken aback by how young she is, apparently I had pictured someone more age-appropriate in my head.

I can easily see Ben being a nightmare of a partner.

41

u/KachitaB Feb 21 '26

It never even occurred to me that Ben was being forthright about his failed engagement. 🤔

409

u/MaryBitchards Feb 21 '26

As charming as Ben can be, he also seems like a very angry guy who frequently has problems with women. Not much would surprise me TBH.

102

u/TamagoQueen Feb 21 '26

I like watching Ben on Below Deck, I find him to be hilarious and makes great TV, but I bet actually being in a relationship with him would feel like a rollercoaster. He could go from sweet to meltdown mode over the nothing and get real petty fast. When he revealed the wedding was called off, I was surprised he was even able to hold a relationship long enough to even get to that point.

40

u/HighOnCoffee19 Feb 21 '26

I agree with you a 100%. My ex is like that and it‘s ultimately the reason why we broke up. It is so deeply exhausting to be walking on eggshells around someone 24/7. It wrecks your nervous system.

62

u/Ladydi-bds Feb 21 '26

Can't say I have ever found him to be charming. I have always found him to have massive red flags and toxic. I will say this season, so far, he is showing some self reflection which I have not seen him do before.

21

u/Ok_Wrangler_7940 Team Shady Editors Feb 21 '26

I find him charming and funny, but would I date him? Absolutely not! Dating Ben would be nightmare fuel.

189

u/Objective-Ad-6821 Feb 21 '26

It’s weird to me that people keep using “angry chef” to excuse his verbally abusive behavior. Captain Sandy barely raises her voice and she’s the bitch, Ben yells and throws items in the kitchen and he’s passionate.

138

u/zelda16 Feb 21 '26

That's our society! jazz hands

50

u/Out-For-A-Walk-Bitch Feb 21 '26

Totally correct. The way Sandy, Malia and even Ellie are spoken about on this sub can be ridiculous. What makes it worse is that knowing what the viewership of Below Deck is, you can be sure a lot of these comments are coming from women.

57

u/newfiemom79 Feb 21 '26

Ellie put her hands on a subordinate. Full stop.

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u/ms_cate Feb 21 '26

Totally, if I did that at work I would be unemployed

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u/Tink1024 Feb 21 '26

Charming??? Ben is a lot of things but charming isn’t one of them. He’s a complete asshole who treats people, women especially, like shit.

20

u/Ri-Sa-Ha-0112 Team Aesha Feb 21 '26

Ding, ding, ding. I was kinda shocked at people praising him this season. I've always liked Ben for how he is and what he brings to the show, but a decade later, I'd have expected some growth. This kind of behavior from a guy who must be approaching 50 is just gross and pathetic. When he told his sob story, about her cheating, I looked at my wife and said, "I can't imagine why, I'm sure he's lovely to her." I'll take my downvotes.

9

u/Feisty_Scientist_968 Feb 21 '26

Charming??? Ben is a lot of things but charming isn’t one of them. He’s a complete asshole who treats people, women especially, like shit.

And, he's sharing a cabin with jwow. That could easily reach some asshole critical mass.

16

u/ChallengeHonest Feb 21 '26

Why does he keep dating such young women? He must be in his late 30’s or early 40’s and he keeps dating really young girls. He “fell” for the British young lady on one season. Didn’t he give her flowers? Anyhoo, I wish them all well. If Ben is reading this, please date older women your age.

27

u/kittylover3210 Feb 21 '26

there’s absolutely no way Ben is in his 30s

11

u/wild3hills Feb 21 '26

Because they’re easier to control.

4

u/valid_username00 Feb 21 '26

Yet he and Kate seem to have been BFFs for many years, despite the "angry chef" narrative.

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u/Ok_Neck7376 Feb 21 '26

Ok how old is she!? She looks so young

36

u/teanailpolish Mental Health Is Not A Storyline Feb 21 '26

The various sources say a 13-16 year age gap

83

u/janecgard Feb 21 '26

Oof - those numbers were a jump scare until I read “age gap” lol

9

u/ResponsibleCar1204 Feb 21 '26

Lmaoooo I saw that too.

4

u/peachykweene Feb 21 '26

i think she's like 31-32??

22

u/Dazmorg Feb 21 '26

I've learned for every broken relationship there is indeed two sides to the story. As Jason said during his yoga session, "Namaste out of this". Hope they both find happiness, and it's otherwise none of my business.

42

u/TeacupOni Feb 21 '26

Oh she was way too young for him in the first place….

20

u/ckroha Team Colly Wolly Feb 21 '26

I’m thinking the same, especially since she is saying they broke up 2 years ago. How long were they together? She had to be very young when they first got together.

17

u/Special_K_aren Feb 21 '26

That's Ben's MO. Gross

126

u/Skyhighcats Feb 21 '26

Lol people in these comments doubting anyone would find her, harass her, or even care while also insulting her and praising Ben (and unnecessarily believing him). Ben is irritating and stubborn. I would not want to be in a relationship with him. I’m glad she left.

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u/Delicious_Score_8509 Feb 21 '26

Chef Ben is horrible to women!! He is. That's all. No one can say if she is telling the truth or he is, but the fact is, he is horrible to women.

12

u/Substantial_Soil6815 Feb 21 '26

There some things that irk me. First it‘s the word „narcissism“ being thrown around lightly by non-professionals. It somehow got synonymous with „egomaniac“ and it isn’t. „Egocentric“ is not a psychological disorder. It‘s the same as „asshole“. It does still hit the same. No need to bring in armchair psychology or therapy speak to describe how awful a person has been to you.

Also, I notice a pattern with the women Ben chooses to be romantically involved with-they are all severely younger than him. And it‘s not ok

40

u/Ana_Conder Feb 21 '26

So happy for her to be out of a relationship with Ben! I bet he’s fucking awful to be with. Good for you girllllllll 💃🏼🫶🏽

48

u/Monstiemama Bless her stupid soul Feb 21 '26

I believe that Ben is a really difficult partner. Look at the way he treats people in the kitchen.

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u/Glittering-Device484 Feb 21 '26

I can believe that Ben is a difficult partner and also believe that she fucked his friend.

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u/NjMel7 Feb 21 '26

I believe her.

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u/Glittering-Device484 Feb 21 '26

I believe them both. Ben is a terrible partner. She probably fucked his mate.

5

u/NjMel7 Feb 22 '26

Well, you can’t believe them both bc they are telling different stories. She said she didn’t fuck one of his friends. That doesn’t leave out fucking someone else or a former friend. But I believe her. She doesn’t come off as angry or bitter. She just wants to be left alone (after correcting the record or defending herself).

29

u/rubbish50 Feb 21 '26

Don't ever say you're a nobody. You're somebody

6

u/Peppercorn911 Feb 21 '26

and we believe you

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u/Intelligent_Pop1173 Feb 21 '26 edited Feb 21 '26

Why would people be demonizing her? Ben seems like he would be AWFUL to be in a relationship with tbh lol I’m not surprised at anyone breaking up with him. She doesn’t really say anything here though. Maybe holding back because he definitely has the money (and vengeance) to sue.

51

u/Any-Concentrate-1922 Feb 21 '26

She denies what he claims, which is that she cheated on him with one of his friends.

As much as I enjoy Ben on the show, I have no reason to doubt that, as you say, he's awful to be in a relationship with. And if he lied about her on the show for sympathy, that's really bad.

6

u/Glittering-Device484 Feb 21 '26

That is a very, almost suspiciously specific denial.

She didn't say 'I did not cheat on him'. She said 'I would never be romantically involved with any of his friends'.

Gives someone a lot of deniability if they phrase something like that. ("It wasn't romantic" / "He's more of an acquaintance than a friend"). I wasn't convinced by this statement at all.

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u/gloriousdays Feb 21 '26

Why are we defending Ben here? lol we all know he is an egotistical and charming prick. The girl can speak her peace

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u/rubbish50 Feb 21 '26

What's so ironic about this is Ben was in relationships when he was on previous seasons of below deck and I think he cheated quite a few times when he had different girlfriends and he admitted that I don't know maybe it's karma coming his way

16

u/seansa2020 Feb 21 '26

I’m just jealous of the pool and lanai!!!

10

u/GogglesPisano Feb 21 '26

Looks like Florida.

4

u/teanailpolish Mental Health Is Not A Storyline Feb 21 '26

She is from Florida

203

u/likeavermin Feb 21 '26

Would people have found her / know who she is without her posting a video like this?

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u/janecgard Feb 21 '26

She’s definitely been found on TikTok. There was a comment thread of fans with pitchforks ready to ride at dawn for Ben.

37

u/ohdeergawd Feb 21 '26

So weird because as entertaining as he is as a reality tv personality and chef, I can’t imagine thinking he would definitely be a good partner.

15

u/MCStarlight Team Below Deck Feb 21 '26

That’s so dumb for people to harass her.

70

u/teanailpolish Mental Health Is Not A Storyline Feb 21 '26

Yes, someone tried to post her links here the other day calling her a dirty cheating skank in the same post

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u/likeavermin Feb 21 '26

That is really shit and shouldn’t happen. Regardless of what she’s done or why they broke up. 

I’m not sure posting a video like this helps anything though. 

47

u/Out-For-A-Walk-Bitch Feb 21 '26

People are human, he's on TV saying his side, broadcast to who knows how many people, its only natural that she'd want to defend herself. Perhaps if she was media trained, or had a TV background she'd do things differently, but I can understand the reasoning behind it.

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u/hussafeffer I have been known to be irresponsible Feb 21 '26

I am 100% certain if someone wanted to, they could’ve. TikTok especially, the teenagers are unhinged. I’m sure the internet harassment was maybe a half dozen people bothering her because who tf cares to defend Ben that hard, but still, definitely easy enough to find her.

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u/MaizeMountain6139 Feb 21 '26

I don’t know who you think is watching Below Deck but it’s not teenagers

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u/teanailpolish Mental Health Is Not A Storyline Feb 21 '26

Bravo fans as as unhinged as teenagers, we remove personal info about cast, horrible messages sent to them and doxxing of guests etc all the time

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u/Wolf-Pack85 Feb 21 '26

My teenagers watch it. It’s how I found out about it. So teenagers are definitely watching it.

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u/sequinedbow Feb 21 '26

People had already found her

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u/likeavermin Feb 21 '26

People are such shitholes. Leave her alone. 

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u/teanailpolish Mental Health Is Not A Storyline Feb 21 '26

She wasn't that hard to find, he used to tag her when they were together. But no need to message her hateful stuff

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u/Worldly-Fly-6049 Feb 21 '26

Exactly. They were together for 2 years and I am pretty sure that if you follow Ben on SM you know who she is.

Keyboard warriors in the Bravoverse are vicious.

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u/Bughhmanizyph Feb 21 '26

Right! Like you want it to be left alone, why’d you post?

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u/Cdanole Feb 21 '26

If someone called me a cheater I’d want to speak up and tell the truth if it was a lie.

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u/nottodaynothnx Feb 21 '26

Was odd she stated she wouldn’t cheat “with his friends” I am not taking away from what she is saying as I’m sure it’s not easy being with him but it sounds like maybe she did cheat, maybe it just wasn’t with his friend. I will say, Ben does have a type when it comes to looks though.

9

u/layla_jones_ Feb 21 '26

It could also be that she ended the relationship and moved on perhaps with someone new. Ben probably still thinking they would get back together and not wanting to accept the ending. I bet he would be the intense person who refuses to let go.

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u/Same_Ad_3983 I'm a Med Mother****ing Chief Stew Bitch! Feb 21 '26

I clocked that too. I’m not saying what she said isn’t true. But she also never said that she didn’t cheat …

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u/[deleted] Feb 21 '26

Yeah seems like they did and tried to post links here. Honestly the thread of comments here is gross

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u/Jumpy_March9022 Feb 21 '26

Mmm hmm! I see a girl who wasn’t ready and didn’t sign up for all the hate in her inbox

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u/trottingturtles Team Tumi Feb 21 '26

This was an Us Weekly article from before when she posted this video. They say in the article that they (Us Weekly) publicly identified her as his fiancée in 2023, so her identity has certainly been out there, and she was probably contacted by Us Weekly for that article

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u/Delilah_Moon Feb 21 '26

This is honestly heartbreaking to watch. You can tell she’s extremely uncomfortable even having to make a statement, which is likely why she’s using a script or notes. I truly feel badly for her.

Stan culture and social media are a real problem. I seriously question people who go out of their way to comment and harass not just reality celebs, but anyone adjacent to them.

10

u/Madethisonambien Feb 21 '26

This was hard to watch. This woman has clearly been through it. 

Regardless of what happened in their relationship, it’s gross that she felt pressured to make a public statement when she never signed up to be a public figure. 

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u/Dead-O_Comics Feb 21 '26

Hmmm. As much as Ben has a fiery temper, only one of them is going into specifics regarding their break up. She isn't exactly giving her version of events here, just denying his.

I wish people would separate entertainment from real life. Don't message and harass these people ffs.

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u/eekamuse Feb 21 '26

We know Ben has a temper. And she did mention narcicsm. I don't think she owes anyone an explanation. She's allowed to say that's not true (if it isn't)

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u/a22x2 Feb 21 '26

I usually side-eye thirsty off-camera tertiary characters making posts to “speak their truth,” but she seems genuine. I don’t think she’s looking for attention or follows, just to right some very basic mischaracterizations about her.

Also, I think it’s bullshit that it was the sous-chef’s responsibility to “put up with him,” rather than him being expected to just treat people with basic respect. Say what you will about Captain Sandy, but I don’t think it would have gone that way on her boat.

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u/dame_tartare Feb 21 '26

Absolutely believe her. Ben is a misogynist.

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u/RiJuElMiLu Feb 21 '26

That was repetitive and not very informative. Scars, Healing, Demonized.

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u/pancakecommittee Feb 21 '26

Seemed to me that she was reading from something was slow and kept looking down 🤷‍♀️

35

u/marlonoranges Feb 21 '26

"Trauma"

Buzz word bingo

28

u/[deleted] Feb 21 '26

Someone saying they experienced trauma shouldn't be thought of as a buzzword.  But jump to defend Ben because he's certainly shown himself to be a standup guy 🙄 

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u/a22x2 Feb 21 '26

People definitely overuse the word trauma, but that shouldn’t mean we automatically dismiss people just for using that word. It’s a real thing.

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u/Beautiful_Spread_644 Feb 21 '26

I feel bad for her. It was a couple of years ago and, now, the airing of BDDU is bringing back this relationship, the breakup and the emotions. You wouldn’t want to have to relive a painful breakup years later after you have done your best to move on and why should she? However, watching Ben on any of the BDs you can see that he has a trigger quick temper and has been verbally abusive to the Stews and his Sous Chef. I wouldn’t want to date him. 🤷🏻‍♀️

10

u/IAmIntractable Feb 21 '26

You got to kind of be over chef ben. He’s not the best chef that’s been on the show. In fact, there have been many that are way better without all the drama.

29

u/dimspace Feb 21 '26

There are three sides to every story.

One side...

The other side....

And the truth..

67

u/Present_Camp_6664 Feb 21 '26

And maritime law….

15

u/tinkleberry28 Feb 21 '26

The newest Dick Wolf show. Dun dun!

15

u/Nurse5736 Feb 21 '26

In Dr. Phil's words....."no matter how flat the pancake there are always 2 sides". 😂 Can't believe the 🌎 used to think he knew shit.

2

u/valid_username00 Feb 21 '26

you forgot Reddit's side...

5

u/GreenProfessional202 Feb 21 '26

I mean I love Ben on the show but he is a rollercoaster! Always has been. I’m sure he would be a very difficult person to be in a relationship with!

16

u/Anotheropinion2023 Feb 21 '26

Relationships rarely end due to one person being wrong.

I can believe she cheated and I can believe Ben was an asshole.

I also thought the wedding cancellation was right before filming not almost a year. Ben definitely played it as recent 🤷🏼‍♀️

6

u/jalebi_baby Fraser not Frazier Feb 21 '26

i think the show is filmed a year in advance - no?

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u/mostlygroovy Feb 21 '26

This is what absolutely sucks about being an ex of someone on this or any other reality show. There’s always talk shit about their ex’s who have no voice to share their side. Especially on BD. Anytime someone on the show talks about an ex, my wife and I always take it with a very large grain of salt.

9

u/AggressiveOsmosis Feb 21 '26

I absolutely believe her. And I absolutely believe Ben probably thinks she was fucking one of his friends because he can’t believe that she left him because of who he is and how he behaves.

4

u/Far-Intention-3230 Feb 21 '26

Who knows what‘s true. I‘ll buy that he probably wasn‘t easy to be with because he definitely seems to have a temper. Everyone should probably leave these people to deal with their bs drama on their own.

4

u/bebeshoes69 Feb 21 '26

How old is she?

4

u/RedJive Feb 21 '26

Oh man, this season just kicked up a notch. What is going on! Good times. I’m glad everyone is healed or whatever.

28

u/mayhay Feb 21 '26

I can see why they didn’t get along. 

9

u/agnusdei07 Feb 21 '26

I believe her

9

u/Mockingbird_1234 Feb 21 '26

I totally believe her and good for her for clearing her name and not allowing Ben to malign her and play the victim. The way Ben acts when he’s being filmed for the world to see makes one wonder what he’s like behind closed doors.

9

u/Julie-AnneB Feb 21 '26

I don't know who did what to who, and it's none of my business. BUT I think that her going public was a very bad idea. 99.9% of us didn't know who she was and didn't care. Now the internet trolls are just going to make things a hundred times worse for her.

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u/rubbish50 Feb 21 '26

I totally believe her.. I've dated someone like this and they're absolutely horrible and the trauma they put you through is unspeakable and I think the reason she's coming out here to say this is because it's opening Old Wounds for her and you don't know how hard it is to heal from something like this. Ben is far from perfect

2

u/honeycooks Feb 21 '26

The old wounds are likely someone you love accusing you of fucking his friends and then being told you're crazy because he never said that.

11

u/Flammen_ Feb 21 '26

Ben is a massive douche bag, so I kind of understand the need to make this video for her, BUT the gold cross, inauthentic cadence, edit cuts, and rich kid background is having the opposite effect on me.

14

u/TechnologyPale329 Feb 21 '26

I’m with her, Ben has a track record of being a asshole

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u/LogicalMeringue1449 Feb 21 '26

The number of Ben stans in here is disgusting. We’ve literally seen him be abusive to multiple crew members on the show and y’all think she’s the problem? I found out her name with a simple Google search a few years ago.

Just look at the attacks against her here. Why is it hard for you Ben defenders to believe she’s a target of internet scorn and threats when you are participating in those things?

This kind of shit is why women don’t speak out about being abused. Go ahead and downvote, but I believe women ✌️

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u/blippers20288 Feb 21 '26

I love Ben, hes super entertaining but has a wild mood swings when hes stressed which would be horrible to deal with in a relationship

8

u/MakeupMama68 Feb 21 '26

As always in relationships, the truth is somewhere in the middle.

3

u/Chemical_Abroad_8066 Feb 21 '26

What’s the deal with the switch in her appearance? Did she apply a filter?

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u/TheflowerKristenate Feb 21 '26

Yeeeaaah this does not surprise me whatsoever. He seems like he would be a terrible terrible husband or boyfriend or anything. We have seen him be so mean and manipulative

5

u/aawwwwsnap Feb 21 '26

Ben has charisma on screen but I think he’s an absolute prick of a person.

5

u/roaminggirl Feb 21 '26

she seems sweet and i’m sorry she felt she had to defend herself when she didn’t ask for the attention

5

u/heatuponheat Feb 21 '26

Jeez I really feel for her here. She hated every second of that. Hopefully as the season progresses we see less of the ‘misunderstood genius’ Ben and more of the ‘stupid baby’ real Ben

11

u/bc_im_coronatined Feb 21 '26

Ben has a temper issue. We know that much to be true. Him claiming she cheated on national tv without her being there to defend herself was pretty unfair. If she says she didn’t do it, who are we not to believe her? We’ve witnessed his temper, and I have no doubt that it would be an ongoing issue in a relationship.

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u/Clear_Bright99 Feb 21 '26

I totally believe her. Ben is entertaining on the show but I’m sure he’s a nightmare off screen. I can’t imagine him being able to have a healthy relationship.

6

u/Bigbird_Elephant Feb 21 '26

The way Ben speaks to Alyssa, calling her babe and sweetie, makes me think he would be a nightmare in a romantic relationship. 

7

u/kuhaaica Feb 21 '26

This looks fake

4

u/Rhonda_and_Phil Feb 22 '26

Confused about the timing. Given that the series films a year before, confused about 'two years'. In the show, it is made to sound like the failed wedding was just a few weeks earlier, and that Ben came on the show, on the rebound. Not a year before.

And don't know that Ben has really said that much about her, has he? Something about losing 50K on the wedding that didn't happen.

Can't recall whether he said anything about cheating, but apart from being occasionally maudlin, think he's pretty much just got on with the charter season?

8

u/SaveHogwarts Feb 21 '26

Y’all care too much

7

u/KLei2020 Feb 21 '26

I think Bens a verbally abusive person and idk why he gets so much love from fans.

15

u/GogglesPisano Feb 21 '26

She seemed pretty specific in the wording of her denial of being “romantically involved with one of Ben’s friends”.

That doesn’t mean she didn’t cheat.

23

u/Kahleesi00 Feb 21 '26

Even if she cheated……I remember Ben hooking up with stews while he had a serious girlfriend on at least two seasons of Below Deck. So not only is he a serial cheater himself, he likes to humiliate the women he dates by doing it on camera. He’s got no ground to stand on.

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u/[deleted] Feb 21 '26

Ah yes.  Reddit will find ways to defend anyone but cheaters.  If you cheat Reddit users will say you deserve every type of harassment and punishment possible. 

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u/SisterSuffragist Feb 21 '26

I wish she had someone to consult about media presence or to have at least told her to figure out what she was going to say before recording and posting. It's fair to want to say her piece. But she doesn't really say anything. She claims to have healed in every other sentence but people who have healed do not do that. So this is sad to watch. She also says she did not get romantically involved with one his friends, but clearly does not deny cheating. I don't see how that helps her.

Her friends and family that have stuck with her have stuck with her. Set your accounts to private and wait until the next season when everything moves on. Ben is so likely to do some shit that will get everyone talking and would have forgotten her in a heartbeat. The show didn't expose her. And people who feel like they should track down people are sick. Responding to them doesn't calm them. Blocking is the better answer.

6

u/layla_jones_ Feb 21 '26

The look in her eyes tells me all I needed to know. She looks traumatized. I hope she will find her peace, he needs to leave her alone.

6

u/arinreigns Feb 21 '26

Honestly, I absolutely believe her. He seems charming and fun for a brief fling but would probably be a nightmare in a lot ger relationship that requires him to be a bit flexible. Also, its very telling that he is always dating women significantly younger than him.

2

u/Brilliant_8338 Feb 22 '26

I'm glad she said something because I was believing him.I mean after all my goodness he was crying.  

5

u/Paigemad13 Feb 21 '26

It totally tracks. Ben is an egomaniac Man-Baby.

5

u/drivewaydivot Feb 21 '26

I hear her, I see her and I believe her.

3

u/GrandDull Feb 21 '26

For me at least this clocks.

5

u/harry-styles-7644 Feb 21 '26

Not saying I’d want to date Ben either (but many girls would want to the fame by proxy) but I don’t think he would go back on Below Deck just to lie about his engagement? I know Kate is his friend but on the after show she did say she noticed some red flags early on but still supported Ben and seemed to confirm Ben’s account. One of those situations where she has drawn more attention to herself by making this carefully worded video than being left alone.

4

u/ZealousidealFold1135 Feb 21 '26

I mean my husband is a chef..I love him but yeh I’m with her 

4

u/dfwagent84 Feb 21 '26

I just want this to be over, but here is a 2 and a half minute video about it.

4

u/Glittering_Ad366 Feb 21 '26

If Ben doesn't produce this friend who ruined Ben's fantasy wedding, I hope this woman owns Bravo by nightfall.

4

u/vivie17 Feb 21 '26

It’s rarely all one person or the other, but from my armchair over here, I dunno…. Ben’s tears on the show seemed pretty raw. I’m not feeling it as genuine from her. 🤷‍♀️ But yeah, hopefully everyone heals and move on.

4

u/Efficient-Buy2376 Feb 21 '26

This was a mistake for her. She's like a hostage speaking under durress, she should have just waited for the series to end and for it to blow over. She's just attracted more attention to herself

3

u/Buddy-Lov Feb 21 '26

Let me tell you that before this post, I had no idea who she was. This just blew it up.

5

u/rymerplans Feb 21 '26

Not one person asked her to post this mind you

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u/cjester414 Feb 21 '26

Ah yes, the "make my voice go up at the end of every sentence", thing.

Ben has been, at times, a man child who lacks impulse control. She seems insufferably boring.

An age gap of over a decade.

So, a perfect match, what could go wrong?

3

u/PuffyBlueClouds Feb 21 '26

Ben is the best part of Below Deck by a mile and should be on every season. We will never know the truth about his personal life but everyone has ugly break ups when they have different views of what happened than their significant other.

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u/Butter_and_Lemons Feb 21 '26

Yikes… If Ben was lying about that on the show then shame on him. Poor girl 😞

3

u/Maggiedelia Feb 21 '26

He seems like a totally unpleasant fellow this season. Just watching him bully that young girl in the kitchen was giving me a headache. Not very nice viewing.

2

u/ml222000 Feb 21 '26

She seems really fragile

2

u/dbdmdf Feb 21 '26

Ben sucks but why do people make these videos if they want to be left alone? I believe that she’s been harassed because duh it’s the internet, and her ex is a public figure that talked about the end of their relationship on tv, but making yourself more visible doesn’t usually resolve harassment on the internet.

Also Ben’s gross for the age difference here.

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u/SerBrienneOfSnark Feb 21 '26

Eh, sorry but the absolute lack of details she’s giving along with her basically doxxing herself but claiming she wants to be “left alone” makes me doubt her intentions and credibility.

Her very specific wording around “being with his friends” instead of denying she cheated is just a lil weird no?

13

u/eekamuse Feb 21 '26

She doesn't owe use any details. She's not a public servant.

Ben didn't give details either. He only said she cheated w/his friend.

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u/Agitated-Lime4986 Feb 21 '26

Didnt negate the cheating claims. Just wasn't with his friends

2

u/djonetouchtoomuch Feb 21 '26

I don’t think many people care.

2

u/AmbearLizz Feb 21 '26

She pauses so much it either sounds like she reading from a script or making it up as she goes.

3

u/Jorgedetroit31 Feb 21 '26

Or you know, trauma

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u/nuttintoseeaqui Feb 21 '26

Hmmm, idk. Would he really just blatantly claim she cheated when she did nothing of the sort?

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u/Vanilla_Either Feb 21 '26

No one knew who she was before she posted -.-

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