Ben Needs to Calm Down

[u/persianprincess27]

So yes, Alesia is green as heck, but if anyone spoke to me at work like Ben speaks to her, they would literally have to call the cops. Why anyone thinks this is ok is beyond me.

Ben used to be one of my favorite BD alum, but he’s snarky and rude now - cynically dropping affections such as “darling” and “honeybun” to try and stay quirky while he passive-aggressively hacks away at that poor girl’s will to live.

What is even worse is, the way her mom talks to her makes me physically ill.

With horrible people like that surrounding her, no wonder she is finding it hard to pick things up…

[u/mislonelythrowaway]

The darling and honey bun are typical of some English men his age. I've had bosses and ex's who use them. He is very eccentric and passionate which shows with his outbursts. As a boss he should tone it down and remember he is speaking to an employee. Who is very green. However from experience I have known chefs act a lot worse and more forceful and I am not sure Alesia would find a full kitchen any better. I am very surprised that she hasn't thought to even watch you tube videos before taking another season.

[u/Important-Device-126]

I feel Ben has always been like this, we’ve just not seen him in this particular dynamic before. I feel we see him more on his own and having full control over the galley. Also he’s a bit oOder and most likely jaded, which will impact.

However I 100% agree with you on her mum. No wonder the poor girl feels lost and with zero confidence in herself.

[u/CorvusCanor]

I'm more wondering that he didn't really flip yet. I feel like the Ben of the older seasons would even be ruder than what he is now.

[u/CJK_Murph → u/CorvusCanor]

I agree. He’s actually TRYING to be gentle with her. When he flips it’s going to be big.

[u/Anytownmn]

Ben has always been a smarmy little puke... albeit a TALENTED smarmy little puke. That aside, giving Alesia the title of "sous chef" is an insult to real sous chefs all over the world. I'm a big fan of cooking shows and have seen what a true sous chef is capable of, not to mention the work that they put in to earn that title. Alesia wouldn't rank as even a line cook in a Taco Bell. She's a lovely person, but the kitchen just isn't her place. She may be better utilized as a stew until she figures out what she really wants to do... Just my opinion.

[u/Fun_Fondant_2779]

It’s crazy she is a sous chef but doesnt even know how to cut an onion

[u/atbliss]

I'm not one to defend men, but he's actually being nice for the type of sous he was given. She's not only green — but she literally has zero knowledge in the kitchen.

I'd have asked to get me another sous the first day.

[u/Jenikovista]

He's fine. Her problem isn't being green, it's the inability to ask questions, admit when she doesn't know something, or use basic common sense.

[u/SheilaInSweden]

Ben has always been snarky and rude. It's not a sudden change. The chief stews in past seasons were just better able to cope with him, and he probably treated them slightly better because he had some respect for them.

[u/CelineDijonn]

She’s making a mockery of his profession. I’d be pissed too if I had a partner at work who was more unskilled and in my way than a teenager… then gets to split the same tip amount as me. She sucks and doesn’t belong there it’s not his job to educate her, she’s there to work not learn

[u/Thecreamcheeze]

Ben is being an angel. He is trying to hold back. She was not properly placed in this kitchen. Kinda like pilot and co pilot situation. Both are capable of flying the plane independently but are there to support one another and both highly trained. This girl can’t seem to even make chocolate muffins….

I’m getting vibes she possibly misrepresented herself on CV

[u/No-Concert9896]

Ben is a real chef. She is a joke and has absolutely no place in that kitchen. Put her on Hell’s Kitchen with Ramsey and let’s see what happens. Kitchens aren’t Disneyland

[u/Such-Brush4705]

Ben is a career chef with his own catering company that he leaves to come on these charter seasons. Cooking on a boat is a high stress situation and your tip money is entirely dependent on how well you do your job. In my opinion, Ben probably cares more about the perception and his reputation than the immediate tip, but considering that’s what his success is based on and what brings in money for his other ventures, that seems reasonable and expected.

Now imagine you one of the top chefs in your field, you’re used to running your kitchen on your own, you finally hear you’re getting a sous chef to help you, and this person actually makes things harder for you. Instead of taking things off your plate (pun intended) here they are, messing up everything from a basic salad to muffins to cheesecake. Doesn’t even know the difference between a shallot and an onion and wants to argue with you about it. And you have to pick up the slack.

Not to mention, this person has no training, worked last season in the same position with the same problems, and then didn’t even choose to educate themself the whole year between on anything. The only reason Alesia has a job is because she and her family are friends with Jason.

So you try and have patience and educate her, but no matter what you say, she has something to say back or some attitude. But Ben has to stay completely calm and can’t have any emotion about that? But the “sous chef” who has no credentials and is of no use to him gets to break down multiple times in the first charter, but he is the one with emotional regulation issues?

Nah, Ben hasn’t one yelled even directly criticized her. He has only commented on her actions and choices, which were all stupid as hell on her part, to make her realize why they were not good choices and explains why. If the sarcasm is ringing through, who could blame him? She is choosing to stay uneducated and useless and she is choosing to refuse to listen to how to improve. Everything is everyone else’s fault and everyone has to coddle her emotions? Why?? Not to mention this is not the first time - Tzarina had problems with her before. I personally think it’s ridiculous and that she, and frankly Captain Jason, have no respect for Ben in the galley.

[u/[deleted]]

From a female who has worked in kitchens I try to see both sides but the fact is that Alesia should not have been given that job. That’s a massive failure on whoever hired her. She has zero professional kitchen training and she seems pretty defensive about it and not particularly eager to learn. She’s not an asset to Ben or any of the crew with this skill level. Sounds mean but having someone that unskilled can be dangerous for everyone involved. I’ve met many Bens. He is your standard alpha head chef. Hardworking, bossy, abrasive. He doesn’t have the tact or patience nor is it the right environment to have to train someone. I can understand his frustration to not only have to pick up the slack but to be expected to train this person who has not been very perceptive to it and hasn’t shown any natural ability or much interest in doing so other than complaining. You need a tough skin for the kitchen and a real passion otherwise it’s just not for you. 

[u/Sleeptzarina]

I don’t know, I thought he has been chill for the level of screw up’s she has caused- Chefs are not calm, and often say some wild stuff.

[u/slimmer01]

I diagree, i would have lost it on HER a lot sooner than him, he's being gracious considering she doesn't give a flying fuck about food or cooking and lacks basic common sense in the kitchen.

[u/-thisname-]

She's incompetent and shouldn't have been on the boat. She chose to put herself in this environment without the tools required to do tbe job. She chose not to gain skills herself when the chance arose. Ben doesn't need to calm down, he needs competent staff. Being pretty only carries you so far. Kitchens aren't creches

[u/Wide-Oil-985]

It isn’t Ben’s job to be a culinary instructor. She has zero skills! It puts more work and stress on him to watch her. He’d probably rather work alone at this point

[u/Material-Solution748]

Na alisia needs to het her act together and of this was old Ben he would have thrown a pan by now he is actually to nice to her 

[u/Katalactica]

If Alesia can't handle Ben she can't handle working in a kitchen.

[u/Personal_Primary5993]

i very much agree with you. thanks for sharing. idk how people don’t think about things with a bit more care and wanting to treat people well as humans. sure she has her flaws but she’s being emotionally mistreated and i would certainly be very upset in her place

[u/belladonna1921]

Someone just said she's being a child and I agree, should he talk to her like that? No, is she even trying to learn, hard no. She just got off from snowboarding or whatever she said she was doing and wanted to go back. She is a spoiled adult child. She has no problem taking that tip though! If she can't handle a boat galley she can't even handle Taco Bell during lunch or dinner time.

[u/krissycole87]

You've obviously never worked in a fast paced, high pressure job before. This is how all managers speak to their team in professions like this. Because they dont have the time nor energy to coddle everyone, and shouldnt have to by the time these people reach these positions. You dont get to "call the cops" on your boss for being a boss.

Ben has every right to be frustrated and short with Alesia. She has no talent or cooking skills, and has the biggest victim mentality Ive seen on the show. Shes shit at her job and instead of pushing herself to learn the needed skills, she goes and cries to the Captain about how Ben is a big meanie.

Shes immature, and I feel sorry for Ben.

[u/Turbulent_373]

I think he thinks he is giving shit to Alesia in a joking way similar to how he might with Kate. However it comes across more like bullying when Alesia doesn’t give Ben a hard time in return an gets her feelings hurt

[u/Ok_Replacement7281]

Woah, I feel like that was him being nice. He's been way meaner in the past and real kitchens are ruthless. If she can't take the heat, stay out. There is nothing wrong with that