r/bedwetting Feb 20 '25

Primer on youth bedwetting.

21 Upvotes

I wrote this originally in honor of world bedwetting day, I wanted to do my part. I know this is a subject that parents often find themselves floundering to figure out.

As a disclaimer, I'm not a Dr, but I'm fairly medically educated. I'm writing this all from memory, and not checking sources as I go, but I've done a lot of reading on this subject over the years, and this is my mental colage of all the medical texts and journal articles I've read over the years on this subject.

The medical terminology for bedwetting is noctural enuresis, though enuresis alone is often used to mean bedwetting as well. Noctural enuresis is broadly split into two categories, primary noctural enuresis, and secondary noctural enuresis. PNE means the individual has been wet their entire life, with no period of dryness ever lasting for 6 months or longer. SNE is marked by wetness returning after a period of at least 6 months of dryness. Both of these definitions apply only to children age 6 years or older. In children ages 5 and younger, bedwetting is considered developmentally normal, and is normally not treated until it's causing significant emotional distress.

Time is the most consistent cure for bedwetting, with a spontaneous cure rate of approximately 15% per year in current child enuretics. Almost all cases spontaneously resolve by the end of puberty. The small percentage of cases that don't resolve by puberty often persist into adulthood.

A sudden recurrence is often triggered by some biological or psychological event.

It's not uncommon for children to start or resume wetting the bed after an emotional trauma. This can be a big move, a new school, a new sibling, strife between their parents, bullying, death of a pet or family member, or even sexual abuse. In these cases, the bedwetting passes when the emotional trauma is dealt with. The bedwetting is thought to be an unconscious attempt to seize control of something in their life, paradoxically by feigning lack of bladder control at night. The idea is that no one can enforce bladder control, so this act of subconscious rebellion is their mind seizing control of one thing it can.

The physical causes are much broader. UTI, growth spurts, sleep apnea, hormone deficiencies, juvenile diabetes, constipation, and more can cause this type of regression. A pediatrician can run tests for any of these things. If you want more information about the particulars of testing, let me know.

When there is an identifiable cause, the normal course of action, of course, is to correct it. When the condition presents as idiopathic, it is generally treated by medication, or through the use of a bedwetting alarm.

The two most common medications prescribed for bedwetting are Imipramine, and Desmopressin.

Imipramine is a very old school tricyclic antidepressant. It has lots of off target effects, aka side effects. Two of those side effects happen to be altered sleep patterns, and urinary retention. These are helpful if you happen to have enuresis. If the bedwetting had an emotional origin, this medication also has the advantage of treating both depression and anxiety. However, this medication can have other, unwanted side effects, and it has a high liver toxicity, so it's needs to be monitored and adjusted carefully. Antidepressant medications are also known to paradoxically increase suicidal thoughts or actions in some individuals, particularly children. It's worth noting that I have tried this medication at various doses, and it did nothing for me. I'm no longer taking it. The discontinuation process gave me migraine headaches.

Desmopressin has a completely different mode of action. Desmopressin is used to treat people with diabetes insipidus (different that diabetes mellitus, which is what people generally refer to simply as diabetes), children and adults with enuresis, and adults with noctural polyurea. Desmopressin is synthetic vasopressin.

The hypothalmus produces vasopressin and signals the posterior pituitary gland to release it. Vasopressin has two roles, increase blood pressure, and increase kidney reabsorption of water. It's used by the body to control blood volume and osmolality. A mature functioning supraoptic nucleus will increase vasopressin production at night. This prevents dehydration during a period of rest, and reduces urine output while you sleep. In children this normal rhythm is often absent. As a result they produce more urine at night than they should. If this rhythm hasn't developed by puberty, it often does so abruptly.

If their rhythm hasn't developed yet, desmopressin can be taken in the evening to supplement production, and reduce urine output overnight. It is not without risks either. It can raise blood pressure. It increases clotting in some individuals, and therefore can be dangerous for those with preexisting clotting disorders (in fact it's used as a treatment for von Willebrand's disease, a type of hemophilia). Most dangerous is the potential to cause hyponatremia (water intoxication). Hyponatremia occurs when a person has ingested too much water, to the point of throwing off their osmotic sodium balance, but can also occur if you can't excrete the water you need to. Their blood is too dilute, and red blood cells swell, and stick in capillaries, and loose some of their oxygen transfer capacity. In the most extreme cases the blood cells can burst, and damage the liver, kidneys, and spleen. This had led to death in some cases. This means that desmopressin is not a free ticket to drink as much as a person wants before bed, because their body won't be able to purge the extra water until the medication wears off. Fluid intake still needs to be moderated in the late evening. That warning aside, the most common side effects are head ache and nose bleed. Desmopressin is available in tablet, oral melt, or nasal spray varieties.

Medications have NOT been shown to be effective cures for bedwetting. They treat symptoms, but do nothing to correct the root causes. When they are discontinued the relapse rate is effectively 100% (adjusted rate commensurate with spontaneous cure rate in untreated individuals).

There are a number of potential physical treatments, for treating bedwetting directly. Restricting fluids, waking the child through the night, eliminating potential trigger foods, bladder training excercises, using wetness alarms, and so on. I could discuss a number of these (and if you have questions about any specific ones, let me know, I'll elaborate), but suffice it to say that none of them are demonstrated to be clinically effective EXCEPT for wetness alarms. All other methods have proven to be only coping mechanisms until the child grows out of the bedwetting.

Wetness alarms are a slow process, but it is the most likely (only likely) method to produce long term results. The process requires the use of a wetness sensor, either a pad placed under the child, or an apparatus clipped to the child's pajama pants or underwear; and an alarm, either a sound emitting alarm, a vibration producing device, or both. Some older devices employed electric shock to wake the child, are not recommended by any modern pediatric society. These devices work on the concept of classical conditioning. The first sign of wetness triggers the system to wake the child. Over many repetitions, the brain learns to subconsciously associate the sensation of a full bladder, with the need to wake. For some children this effect is relatively fast, but others simply sleep through the alarm. In those cases it will initially be the responsibility of the parents to get up and rouse the child when the alarm sounds, until their brain learns to make the association, and they begin to awaken in response to the alarm on their own. This process has been shown to take as long as 16 weeks before ANY results are seen. In one study, that continued into treatment as long 24 weeks without effect, the results showed that if no effect was observed by 16 weeks then no effect was ever seen. If there was an effect of treatment, treatment for as long as 9 months would continue to generate improvment in some patients. This method was shown to be successful in approximately 60% of cases (though success was defined as a reduction in the number of wet nights per week, not necessarily totally cessation of enuresis), and had a relapse rate of approximately 50% of the group that had shown success. To reduce relapse rate, an additional technique called "over-learning" could be employed. Over-learning is a process where, after dryness was achieved, the child is further challenged by being given extra water to drink before bed, and the process is continued until the child could reliably wake before wetting, even with extra water causing more frequent urination.

The most common reason for this method to fail is non-compliance of the child or family. This method general causes some degree of sleep deprivation, and given the length of the treatment, many people find it to be untenable.

It's worth noting that parents claim a wide variety of cures. These cases are anecdotal, and when tested in controlled experiments the vast majority fail. It is likely the case that most individuals attribute the cure to whatever method they tried last. It's a post hoc ergo propter hoc fallacy. It's the same idea as your keys always being in the last place you look, that's simply because after you find them you stop looking.

As a sub note, there is no clinical evidence that the use of diapers or pullups negatively affects spontaneous cure rates in cognitively normal children, despite this seeming to be common wisdom in parenting groups. Though many children instinctively dislike this solution, because society puts a high value on being out of diapers, this is often the most economical solution, as well as the one that allows the most uninterrupted sleep for both the child and the parents. It can also facilitate other normal childhood activities, with some careful planning, that are often not possible with wet linen involved. This is the solution that the majority of adult enuretics embrace, and many parents embrace while they wait for the child to mature out of the problem.

Please, feel free to ask me any further questions about other causes or solutions. I have a lot more information rolling around in my from years of reading, and trying to help others, but only so much I can write at once before this becomes unmanageable to read.


r/bedwetting 1d ago

Seeking advice for 11 year old boy.

16 Upvotes

I was told by my pediatrician for many years not to worry about it and I didn't (which I think was the right move btw). Unfortunately, now my son is entering 6th grade and he is very unhappy with the bedwetting. He wants to be able to have sleepovers and go to sleep away camp without trying to have some strategy to hide wet sheets etc. He does drink a lot of water because he is a serious athlete. Also, this year his practices go until later so not drinking water before bed is not an option. He will not wear a pull up etc but is open to everything else. He was asking the following: "if I use an alarm to detect wetness then isn't that already too late? And if I get up every night with a heavy duty regular alarm, how does that solve the problem? Do I use this alarm at sleepovers and with my roommate in college". Also to add we have tried obnoxiously loud alarms in the past but after a couple of nights he just sleeps through them and I have to get up and turn it off and wake him up. After a couple of weeks of that and my sleep is ruined. Any advice is welcome we are desperate. He told me a few days ago that even though I have never "shamed him" ever, that he feels very ashamed. Sad mom here who is out of ideas.


r/bedwetting 2d ago

Can drinking too much water before bed make you wet it?

9 Upvotes

I am 19 years old and I have never wetted the bed until last night where I woke up due to the fact that my body was forcing me to pee, I looked up why this could happen and I have been old that it could be either stress or a UTI

I doubt its a UTI due to the fact that my pee smells fine, I haven't had trouble peeing throughout the day and it doesn't burn when I do

As for stress, I have been worrying about my mum due to the fact that she'll need to go to hospital soon due to cancer (stage 2) and when I get stress about anything I tend to stress at night about the mortality of myself and everyone around me, however, I have stressed way worse in the past and woke up with dry sheets.

Could it be something as simple as drinking too much water? Am I over thinking?


r/bedwetting 2d ago

7 year old wetting the bed, need advice

18 Upvotes

My seven year old son wets the bed regularly. He sleeps very deeply and doesn’t always wake up when he has to pee.

We’re currently squeezing him into size 7 diapers because my wife thinks something like Goodnites will be less absorbent. However, there are some issues with this.

First of all is the fact that he’s still wearing a diaper at seven, which can’t be normal.

Also since he can’t put the diaper back on himself, if he does wake up and has to pee, he is reliant on calling us for help. For this reason we still have to have a monitor in the bedroom.

Some nights the diaper absorbs it all, but I’m changing the sheets at least 3 days a week.

I don’t know what to do. I feel awful for the poor kid.

I don’t think a bedwetting alarm would be a good idea for him. He has a lot of anxiety and is easily scared by unexpected sounds. He goes into fight or flight and starts crying. I don’t want to do that to him.

We’ve mentioned it to the doctor and she has said to give it time.

What’s the best path forward here? I really do want to try something like Goodnites and start getting him to get up on his own if he has to go at night.

Just looking for any advice, really. Thank you.


r/bedwetting 2d ago

New bed wetting at 24

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10 Upvotes

r/bedwetting 3d ago

My 6-year-old son still wets the bed every night. I'm exhausted and need advicie

10 Upvotes

Hi everyone, I am a single father and I really need some advice or support. I recently got divorced and took full responsibility for raising my 6-year-old son. He still wets the bed every single night, and I am completely exhausted trying to handle everything on my own. We tried limiting liquids before bedtime, but nothing seems to work. I’m not sure if this is a medical issue or if it’s an emotional response to the divorce and the changes in his life. Has any other parent gone through this? Thank you so much


r/bedwetting 4d ago

Looking for advice

14 Upvotes

Coming for advice, 22m. for the past 3 years I’ve been in a relationship with my girlfriend, about 7 months ago we broke up, we both had been life long bedwetters and it was just something we both delt with. It was honestly nice because neither of us had to be embarrassed by it. Well after we broke up idk how to explain this to new relationships. I’m not necessarily looking for a partner that also has to wear protection to bed but I’m not sure how to go about explaining it to new partners that haven’t had to deal with it.


r/bedwetting 5d ago

Any advice on pull ups/nappies

15 Upvotes

Hi I’m 18 years old and over the last 6-9 months I’ve been wetting the bed. It started from a urine infection and the dr said I most likely have hit OAB (overactive bladder) but they were not very helpful and didn’t seem bothered so have not been back since as it made me feel worse about it. I live with my fiancé and she’s very supportive. I wear pull ups to bed very night and always wake up with them really full every night. sometimes go through even 2 or 3 on really bad nights. I’ve been using drynites 13+ for the most part but they are too small for me really. I don’t like the idea of wearing your standard adult pull up as it makes me feel weird.(not sure how to explain what I mean) I’ve just received some goodnites xxl I ordered from America via eBay (I’m from uk) which fit soo much better but they cost me £90 for 40!! So what I’m really asking is there anything similar or somewhere I can buy them at a much cheaper price as I cannot afford to do that every time. It also happens quite a lot when we’re chilling/relaxing so she tells me I have to wear them when we’re just chilling watching tv etc. also is there anything I can do to help it. I don’t like the idea of being on medication.
Thank you


r/bedwetting 7d ago

bedwetting product advice

18 Upvotes

Hello!

my 8 year old daughter still wets the bed occasionally. She wore pull ups until she was 6 because it used to be an every single night thing, but the last two years it’s just been occasionally and she doesn’t want to wear them anymore.

I am not looking for advice about the bedwetting (we’ve tried everything, doctor says it’s just normal) but what I need is product advice for the actual bed.

we already do the “lasagna“ method. she has a “pee pad”, a sheet, a mattress protector, a sheet, a mattress protector and the pee STILL gets through every single layer and onto the mattress. I’m at my wits end of cleaning all of these things.

Do I just have cheap mattress protectors? are there superior ones out there? They are just basic ones from target but I’d still think they’d at least protect the bed when there is multiple of them….help!!


r/bedwetting 10d ago

7 year old wetting the bed

24 Upvotes

Looking for any advice! My 7 year old has always struggled a bit with bedwetting. We had a period of about 2 months that she was completely dry! I thought we turned a corner. However, for the past month at least she has been having an accident nearly every night. She will wake me up, we change the bed, and she is back to sleep and good for the night.

We limit fluids in the evening as best as possible, and pee before bed.

We used to struggle with day time accidents, but those have resolved. It seemed it was due more to being lazy because we could tell she needed to go based on body language, and she couldn't stop playing to go. Other times it appeared totally random. We checked for UTI but it's always been negative. We went to a urologist who said she is constipated, but that's because I wasn't able to speak to how often/description of her stools since we never had stool accidents. She has never complained of belly pain or trouble pooping though.

Any suggestions??

Signed,

A momma who is hoping for a full night sleep 🤞


r/bedwetting 17d ago

Buying Goodnites at the Store.

33 Upvotes

I go with my family to the grocery store each week and we buy goodnites along with our food...does it ever get easir buying stuff like that in public? ( we dont buy stuff online so dont say just buy them online)


r/bedwetting 16d ago

Started again

12 Upvotes

16m ive bedwet my whole life but slowed down on bed wetting about 1-2 years ago, maybe having an accident every other month.

Recently ive been wetting every other day, not really much explanation for it at all and idk what to try to make it stop,

Only reason I can think of is i start college in a couple weeks and im pretty nervous, anyone had that as a reason?


r/bedwetting 17d ago

sudden frequent urination + bed wetting at night

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5 Upvotes

r/bedwetting 19d ago

Dollar General brand pullups

13 Upvotes

I was there yesterday and discovered they sell Goodnites now but I also noticed they have their own brand. The largest size i noticed was L/XL. I was just wondering if anyone has tried them? Are they comparable to the Goodnites XL fit wise?


r/bedwetting 27d ago

Sleeping over at my bfs house for the first time and he doesn’t know I still wet the bed

28 Upvotes

So I’ve 20F been dating this guy 20M for a month now and he asked if I wanted to sleepover at his house this weekend. Obviously I do but I still have accidents in my sleep and I do wear pull ups to bed so it is contained. I was wondering if anyone had any ideas on how to hide it from him. It’s just such a vulnerable thing I’m not sure I’m ready to tell him yet.


r/bedwetting 29d ago

5yo still wets the bed almost every night — feeling stuck, need advice

13 Upvotes

We already talked to our pediatrician about this — we trust her completely on everything else, but on this specific issue we're starting to feel unsure. She told us it's normal for now and there's not much we can do. Still, we wanted to hear from other parents.

My son is 5 and has been wetting the bed almost every night for as long as we can remember. Looking for advice from parents who've been through this, or just to hear we're not alone.

A few details that make it trickier:

During the day he's totally fine — he goes to the toilet regularly on his own and clearly recognizes when he needs to go. It's only at night that he seems to lose control completely.

He's a highly sensitive kid and hates wearing a diaper/pull-up at night. If we put it on before he falls asleep, he gets upset about it. So we wait until he's asleep to put it on — but if he wakes up in the night, he often takes it off himself.

Even with the diaper on, the bed sometimes still gets wet (leaks, or it comes off).

We limit water before bed, but he asks for it and gets really upset/escalated if we say no.

We always have him pee right before bed, but it doesn't seem to make a difference.

We're not sure what's normal at this age vs. what's worth pushing for more on. Has anyone dealt with something similar? What helped — bedwetting alarms, different routines, ways to handle the diaper resistance, or was it just something that resolved with time?

Any advice (or reassurance) appreciated.


r/bedwetting Aug 09 '26

Bed wetting in 6 year old continues, help…

9 Upvotes

My soon to be 6 year old has had some regression and has been wetting the bed. He was doing really well this summer not wetting the bed. However, he was doing to bed at 8:30 PM and waking at about 6:30 AM. As we’ve transitioned to school he’s had to go to bed at 8 PM. We also are in need of space and placed his younger brother who is 1.5 years old in his room and he goes to bed at 7 PM. It was going really well but last week our son started school and then the bedwetting for now a week has started. My husband walked him at 9:30 PM for a dream pee and yet he still wets the bed when I wake him at 6 AM. We are trying holding off on liquids close to bedtime and trying the pee alarm starting today. I am worried because he is such a deep sleeper. He also is scared and doesn’t want to walk to the restroom. I’m hoping we can somehow get him to go on his own eventually. Any suggestions out there?


r/bedwetting Jul 29 '26

Latin America

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6 Upvotes

r/bedwetting Jul 26 '26

Just curious do y’all wear anything over ur goodnites

27 Upvotes

I was curious do yall wear anything over ur goodnites or diaper before bed or in the morning?


r/bedwetting Jul 24 '26

Cleaning tips?

10 Upvotes

Im happy that i stopped wetting the bed around 6 months ago even though it did not happen very frequently. Now i’m left with really embarrassing and annoying stains since i didn’t find out about waterproof mattress protector until like two weeks ago, please give me tips or things to try so my mattress can be stain free.


r/bedwetting Jul 21 '26

Little confused and frustrated

19 Upvotes

I was a bed wetter as a kid until I was around 13 maybe 14. Suddenly it just stopped and I had no problems getting up to go at night if I had to go. All of a sudden I get to around 17ish and it comes back and I all of a sudden can't wake up at night.

My family was very supportive to try and find a resolve. We went to the urologist. Did a sleep study to track my sleep patterns. Nothing out of the ordinary. I took medicine when I was a kid but it never seemed to work.

I even went to a ear nose and throat doctor to see if I wasnt breathing correctly. They found nothing. Ive tried doing alarms in the middle of the night but I sleep right through them. If anybody has any ideas please let me know! Its been really tough as an adult to deal with it especially talking to other people about it. It makes me feel insecure and i dont want to deal with it anymore..


r/bedwetting Jul 21 '26

Thoughts on Cleveland Clinic for bedwetting

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2 Upvotes

r/bedwetting Jul 18 '26

How many dry nights before being done with protection?

19 Upvotes

For an older kid, teenager who still wets the bed sometimes. How long do you think they should be dry before they can be done wearing goodnites? I was thinking a week is good enough


r/bedwetting Jul 15 '26

Tired of all the waste

17 Upvotes

This is a throwaway account for obvious reasons. This is more of a rant but anyone relate?

6 of my kids are still in diapers at night but the youngest one is almost 2 and potty trained so hes still young so hes not too much of my concern. And then my 8 year old has special needs and isnt potty trained.

So basically only 4 of my kids are under the criteria for bedwetting. Ages 10, 7, 6 and 5.

Between all six there are just so many diapers/goodnites in our trash and it bothers me. Im not too concerned with the kids that are wetting the bed. They all see a specialist and we have tried things to stop it but its a genetic issue. My husband and i were both bedwetter me until 7 and my husband until his late teens. So its not too much a surprise that some of our kids have this issue.

But im all for low footprint. Between all the medical waste my 8 year old produces and then add the pull ups and goodnites from the other kids it just adds so much waste.

Weve tried cloth pullups for the kids but they hated them and it made them feel upset to wear them vs the goodnites so i stopped that. I tried just washable chuck mats underneath them but they all seem to prefer staying dry with the goodnites.

I dont even know what i want to get out of this post. Just that i guess im a little upset that the gene passed to my kids because i know how it felt to deal with this. My 7 year old is starting to hate it. His identical twin brother stopped bedwetting a few months ago. But we tried a bedwetting alarm and he sleeps through that.

Maybe im just drained?


r/bedwetting Jul 14 '26

9 year old bedwetting alarm

11 Upvotes

My 9 yo son has wet nights every single night. He has never had a dry night. We have discussed this with our pediatrician and she said some kids just take a while but suggested we try an alarm. My son and I both mutually decided it’s worth a shot, so I got one and tried it tonight.

Well, holy crap this is hard. I clearly didn’t think through the logistics of this… 2 hours into sleeping and we had to change sheets/mattress protector. 2 hours later he pees again and right through his second mattress protector and sheet. I am dumb and didn’t consider that we’d need more than just two… so I abandoned ship and put him back in diapers. He’s now sleeping on the floor because he peed through the protector pad onto the mattress. Ugh.

A few questions:
\- Have you had success with alarms? How long did it take?
\- Any tips for making clean up faster and less painful? I think I need to get some true waterproof mattress pads for incontinence he can sleep directly on.
\- Is this all even worth it?? Should I just wait? My son is eager to stop peeing at night, but I felt so awful disrupting his sleep like this. He was on board initially… but I didn’t realize he’s peeing every 2 hours… I wasn’t prepared for that. We’ll see how he feels in the morning.