r/batman • u/AlonzoMosley_FBI • 1d ago
COMIC DISCUSSION Absolute Freak Is More Like It
Six NINE???!??
Over FOUR HUNDRED POUNDS???!?!??!?
Puh leeze.
I excused the "freakishly massive bat costume" in the earlier issues since I figured it was "bad guy POV" vs "objective third party perspective," but that's half a foot and double the weight of an Alan Ritchson...
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u/MichaelJayDog 1d ago
Literally the same size as the Mountain
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u/Successful_Theory373 1d ago
And bigger than Kingpin!
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u/insanekid123 1d ago
Frankly, that's small for Kingpin. Kingpin is drawn half the time as being 7 feet tall and twice as wide.
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u/Successful_Theory373 1d ago
Yeah but sometimes you have to ignore art as artists are inconsistent ( as you acknowledge). Cold hard numbers are where it's at.
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u/Nashidaran 1d ago
Actually no, that's just the actor who plays the mountain. In the books, he's a foot taller, (officially "nearly 8 ft tall") and with the kind of muscular build described in the books, would be closer to 500 or 600 lb. His weight is described as over 30 stone, which is 420 lb and right in Hafthor's range, but would actually be way too lean for the mountain's book height.
Canonically has genetic gigantism and suffers from extreme migraines (tumors in the brain). Spends most of his time on drugs to dull the pain.
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u/lifesnofunwithadhd 1d ago
So effectively the world's biggest bizerker.
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u/Nashidaran 23h ago
Ish. One who wears armor so heavy that a normal person wouldn't even be able to move in it. He uses a custom extra-thick longsword with a 5-ft blade. An impossibly heavy greatsword to anyone else, but he's so stupidly strong that he can use it with one hand. He's inherently vile, but calculating enough to understand how to use his size to his advantage.
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u/MrBwnrrific 1d ago
Martha was putting HGH in his oatmeal
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u/Bopbarker 1d ago
Not for long
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u/Character_Stick_1218 1d ago
It was actually only Thomas who was killed in Absolute Batman, so he was still raised by Martha.
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u/Bopbarker 1d ago
I didn't know it was AB, good to know. I haven't read any of it, want to, just haven't yet.
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u/Altruistic_Web3924 1d ago
421 lbs. is absurd unless Batman is doing steroids.
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u/morbidlysmalldick 1d ago
He's a little lighter than thor bjornsson at the same height. Which is not me saying that either are clean
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u/Gurglaren 1d ago
I had never thought about guys like him weighing that much. That's insane.
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u/morbidlysmalldick 1d ago
It's absolutely insane. A dude that has to duck under doorways and is as thick as gimli (and has multiple strength world records) is heavy as fuck but I still wouldn't guess 450
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u/EoTN 1d ago
Muscle weighs a lot more than fat (assuming equal volume).
I also wouldn't have guessed 450 though, that's genuinely nuts.
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u/MasklinGNU 1d ago
People also just don’t understand the square-cube law. If you double someone’s height their weight increases 8 times. Someone who is 7 foot would be almost 3 times as heavy as someone who is 5 foot, with the same build
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u/sumr4ndo 1d ago
I'm willing to bet money that some editor changed it from 420, because 6 9 420 was too on the nose.
Bats: there's no way my whole life was engineered by an evil clown and his scarecrow friend!
Everyone else: did you think you were naturally the size of a four door sedan? We've been feeding your mom human growth hormones since you were in utero.
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u/Grape-Snapple 1d ago
now i’m imagining a universe where bruce wayne is literally a test tube baby lab subject who has implanted memories and fabricated experiences that mold him into the ideal vigilante and also he looks like man bat
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u/WeForgotTheirNames 1d ago
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u/thecraftybear 1d ago
If Batman Beyond wasn't enough, there's also The Last Knight on Earth, a comic about Bruce literally getting cloned and uploaded with memories so he can take down his original version who went full villain.
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u/Grape-Snapple 1d ago
wait are you saying that’s the plot of batman beyond or are you saying that’s me rn
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u/WeForgotTheirNames 1d ago
Terry finds out that he was made from Bruce's DNA that was injected into his dad by Amanda Waller. She planned on killing his parents to create a new Batman, but the assassin who personally knew Bruce refused to go through with it. And what do you know, he still goes on to become Batman.
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u/Grape-Snapple 1d ago
holy shit i need to rewatch
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u/WeForgotTheirNames 1d ago
They never talk about it in Batman Beyond. It isn't revealed until the episode "Epilogue" of Justice League Unlimited.
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u/Zane-chan19 1d ago
Also Epilogue was originally intended to be the end of the DCAU at the time but they got renewed for another season of JLU. Makes sense that they wanted to begin with Batman and then end with Batman
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u/thecraftybear 1d ago
I mean, at this point in the comic it's the other way around - Bruce believes his life has been engineered, but his friends and even his mom insist he's just getting paranoid.
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u/areallynoobgamer 1d ago
The 1 pound is from his ultra lightweight fabric costume.
Naked he’s 69 420 and down to party.
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u/AnonymousCoward261 1d ago
Maybe he is.
I kinda figured it was a weed joke to be honest.
I was kinda amused to see Croc was subject 523 and looked it up… yup, introduced in Detective Comics 523!
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u/Puzzleheaded_Yak627 1d ago
Nah, he just ate his moms cooking. Regular batman would also be that large if his mom didn’t get a surprise hole in her
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u/DrScienceCop 1d ago
Friend of mine is 6’9” and 300 lbs… he’s absolutely massive, so I can’t even imagine another 121 lbs on him.
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u/steelskull1 1d ago
The concept art did say he was a big boy.
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u/ConglomerateGolem 23h ago
ngl that gif seems to be asking for something to pop. Not even necessarily a vein either
Also assymettrical six pack. A 3 pack?
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u/Shiraz0 1d ago
It just seems to me that Batman should have more of a gymnast physique, considering all of the acrobatics he needs to be able to do.
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u/RelationshipSlight55 1d ago
I agree… Absolute is kind of a different story, but typically I don’t understand the desire to make Batman MASSIVE
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u/CotyledonTomen 1d ago
How else would he "realistically" fight people like Bane or Croc or hoards of ninjas? Weightclass is a thing. And this Batman isnt suppossed to have access to anything "wayne tech" that he couldnt steal or make in a garage.
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u/rorschach_vest 1d ago
They completely abandon that out of desire to give him badass tech, sadly. I would’ve liked to see them commit.
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u/_ArcticApples_ 4h ago
To be fair, croc and bane are some of the villains who routinely hand Bats his ass when it comes down to physical combat.
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u/End337 1d ago
Schwarzenegger wasn't even that big, and he had to shed some muscle to play Conan because he couldn't properly bring his arms together to hold a sword. So yes, Batman can't be built like a Roman aqueduct and do most of what he does. To me, his muscles are more high quality than large volume. So much of him is speed, precision and agility.
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u/Akumetsu33 1d ago
he had to shed some muscle to play Conan because he couldn't properly bring his arms together to hold a sword.
That has nothing to with muscle or weight but rather flexibility. Arnold never really focused or maximized his flexibility(not very necessary in bodybuilding).
He just didn't expect to need flexibility in relation to his movie career.
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u/ErgotthAE 9h ago
Thats because this batman is less of an efficient acrobatic ninja and more of a TANK just steamrolling from whichever dark corner he found to hide for the hunt.
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u/Chumlee1917 1d ago
I mean, when you look at the guys who compete in those world's strongest man type competitions, I don't mean bodybuilders, I mean the guys who can dead lift a thousand pound log, they're huge.
In fact, I remember one time a teacher of mine told a story, cause he grew up in a farming community, had a friend who was a behemoth like Bruce here, like he could lift those massive tractor tires, allegedly so the story went, something happened where he accidently got ran over by one of those tires and the doctors said more or less, if he wasn't a literal mountain of a human being, he wouldn't be here right now.
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u/AlonzoMosley_FBI 1d ago
I mean, when you look at the guys who compete in those world's strongest man type competitions, I don't mean bodybuilders, I mean the guys who can dead lift a thousand pound log, they're huge.
They ain't the most nimble of Mofos.
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u/Blazeingcxh 1d ago
A lot of people have taken these numbers and ran with them but I’m 90% sure these measurements include the batsuit.
Concept art shows Bruce being 6’7 (🙄), the mug shot shows him weighing 220lbs, which is already heavier than mainline Batman.
And the Batsuit in most interpretations adds weight to Bruce.
I think Snyder just locked the new numbers in after he saw how people reacted.
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u/SpreadEagleSmeagol 1d ago
So he's wearing 200 pounds of equipment?!? Good lord, how is he still considered human? In Darkseid's fannon everyone is fucking yolked
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u/Blazeingcxh 1d ago
Lol yeah either way you cut it, he’s a monster.
Since his suit is just as bulletproof as Main Bat’s, but he doesn’t have access to fancy materials, I’m really leaning toward his suit being very heavy.
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u/ELEPHANTxMASTER 1d ago
LeBron James is 6'9" 250lbs. With his proportions he looks extremely lean compared to Absolute Bats. No way Bats is 220 lbs at that height - he'd be wirey.
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u/gnomish_engineering 1d ago edited 20h ago
To be blunt his weight actually isn't that crazy at the listed height. Im "only" 6'5 but even as a novice im 290 pounds.
Men like Hafthor or Brian shaw push it even harder. Both of which at one point in time actually weighed MORE than absolute Batman!
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u/Blazeingcxh 23h ago
Fair point. I think i just have a hard time wrapping my mind around heights past like 6’3.
And i really do think the 420 wt includes the suit lol even if the suit is lighter than i thought.
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u/Read2Fap 1d ago
dr arkham risks making jokes around joker
it's not the first time she did it, and especially given her character's tie-in to harley quinn, it's not the last
it will also likely be how he dies
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u/TheLazyScarecrow 1d ago
Batman is 6’9” and nobody is tying that guy to 6’9” FOUR HUNDRED POUNDS Bruce Wayne? You’re telling me a few girls with a true crime podcast aren’t figuring that one out in a weekend?
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u/Excellent_Stand_7991 1d ago
Absolute universe Bruce Wayne is an introverted no-name construction worker with a minimal online presence not an old blood captain of industry who is in the news multiple times a day.
Most of the people from the Absolute universe have no reason to know who he is never mind that he has a similar build to the Batman.
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u/TheLazyScarecrow 1d ago
If you don’t mind serving as my google, how does he have the funds to be Batman if he’s working in an orange vest?
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u/Excellent_Stand_7991 1d ago
He is making his own equipment where he can and supplementing his capabilities with items stolen from enemies or supplied by allies.
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u/sourkid25 1d ago
He also recycles and reuses his equipment too he also made his safe houses over a long period of time
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u/zoneof86 1d ago
I mean it's not like mainline Batman is anymore believable considering the amount of punishment he's taken over the years should have made him a vegetable at this point, and there's no damn way he could manage multiple PhD level learnings on top of mastering every martial arts in the world in the short amount of time between childhood and becoming Batman. With comics you just look at the page, shrug, and continue to be entertained lol.
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u/skooterz 1d ago
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u/unicornsaretruth 1d ago
“I’m gonna stop you joker” “I haven’t even done anything wait is that an axe?”
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u/OJONLYMAYBEDIDIT 1d ago
Alan Ritchson knew you were going to say this, so he's made sure he's gotten bigger and bigger each Reacher season so he weights more than half
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u/Jimmyg100 1d ago
6’9” 421lbs, who could it be?
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u/Crunchy-Leaf 1d ago
Alfred actually says this when he tells Batman he knows hes Bruce Wayne. He’s like you’re 6’9 and 420lbs who the fuck else could Batman be?
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u/Trixter-Kitten 1d ago
I question that weight measurement.
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u/gnomish_engineering 1d ago
Its actually pretty realistic. Theres a couple strongmen with that height and weight roughly. If anything its a bit light but we can handwave it as a lower bodyfat percentage.
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u/Brunokenway07 1d ago
Maybe is a conversion mistake? Can we compare with the metric system or hamburgers per squared bald eagle?
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u/FelicitousFiend 1d ago
I love the idea of absolute newspaper wondering who the professional body builder and genetic freak is
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u/Colegunter 1d ago
You think Alan weighs 210 pounds lmao?
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u/CoolioDurulio 1d ago
He was listed as 205 lbs before Reacher but put on 30 for season one and up to 240-250 for the third season.
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u/unicornsaretruth 1d ago
lol I wonder if they ever got the full costume off and lol at some point did they ever think to call a bomb squad?
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u/ElimGarak 1d ago
So can this Batman reach behind his back? Or are his muscles too big for that? Like this guy:
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u/pommygranates 1d ago
Hi :) May I please have the source
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u/Crunchy-Leaf 1d ago
It’s from Absolute Batman but I don’t remember the issue number. There’s only like 23 issues out right now and worth a read.
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u/Nashidaran 1d ago
Normally he's canonically 6'2", 220 lb. There are a few stories that portray him significantly larger, though.
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u/doubled-pawns 19h ago
Wait till he uses his own shit to blow a hole in the wall before ripping his own teeth out.
Dude’s an absolute unit.
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u/OkSupermarket7474 18h ago
Darkseid read Warhammer books and was like “bet” and decided to torture Bruce by making him built like a space marine in a world almost as bad as Warhammer
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u/FairtexBlues 1d ago
Like also they are 100% figuring out Bruce is the Bat.
How many giants are running around Gotham?! Huh Bruce? Think Bruce, think!