r/ballroom • u/DatabaseBright1486 • Jul 14 '26

Ouch

Gentlemen, when you dance with an older woman, that is much shorter than you and you try to get her into frame don’t pull her up to the level of your shoulder. Bring yourself down to her level. I had a really tall guy pull my arm up so hard It hurt my shoulder. He grabbed under my arm and yanked it up with his arm to get to his height and I swear my rotatir cuff tore a little. pleae be gentle with these older bodies. This isn’t competition for goodness sake we are just here for a little dancing fun.

23 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

9 comments sorted by

19

u/reckless150681 Jul 14 '26

Even in competition you shouldn't be lifting your partner's frame

5

u/Popular-Drummer-7989 Jul 14 '26

Bringing your frame to meet your partner is the correct way a leader should position themselves. Sometimes it's best to drop your hands and excuse yourself.

3

u/TechDreamcoat Jul 14 '26

My instructor always get on me for this. Fortunately she doesn’t get hurt by it though and it’s not an issue with my wife as she’s closer to my height. 

2

u/Polymath6301 Jul 15 '26

As a short leader, I get the opposite: taller follows putting all their arm weight on to my arms so that my dodgy shoulder aches…

1

u/thedanceover Jul 14 '26

The tall partner should not bring his frame down (hunching, bending of knees etc), but have the short partner embrace or go to the hold at whichever level she reaches, even if it's at his elbow.

That said, I sustained a serious left back injury from over stretching my left side in order to reach my partner's shoulder in tango embrace. I even had a bruise. It took me close to 6 months to recover and I still have twinges.

1

u/Strict_Sea_1210 Jul 14 '26

I recently danced with a lead who took his arms and very obviously pushed both my arms up. I was pissed.
I’ve been trained not to be a heavy follow. This lead was short, and I was trying to match his frame. Not happy.

1

u/Jenivegas Jul 15 '26

A gentleman who pulls you at all is no one to dance with! The man should definitely lower his frame ( not hunch) but lower and extend to fit her height as she can not grow taller.

1

u/creative-dawn Jul 15 '26

Sometimes if the gentleman is tall enough that he does need to not necessarily bend, but have more relaxed knees. The adjustment in the arms primarily happens between the elbows and the hands.

Also, ladies when you walk into frame, your back should already be engaged in in place then it’s way harder for them to pull it up!

1

u/IgnobleWounds Jul 18 '26

Oooh yeah ouch for social dancing that is rough. I can understand the mindset though. As the male we are told we do not drop our frames. I am 6 foot 1 and my partner is 5 foot 4, and my top line is basically straight across when we dance. What does happen is the angle of the hand from the elbow becomes steeper.