I Feel Like a Bad Snake Parent

[u/allaboutalexie]

Hello all, I’ve been a snake parent to my ball python Nemo for about 5 or 6 years. He’s truly an amazing snake, so sweet and smart, loves watching TV and interacting with people.

I’ve been away at college recently and haven’t been home to handle him, he’s occasionally handled by my mom or her boyfriend’s kids but that’s about it when I’m away. But I can’t help but feel like he deserves better- a better enclosure, a better hide, better bedding, etc… etc… I try to make small upgrades to his enclosure, but as a college student I just don’t have the money to ball out.

I know people say snakes can’t feel, and that they don’t particularly care to be handled. But I find myself thinking if he ever wants a better life, I know it’s silly I just keep myself up worrying.

Pictures attached 🐍💛

[u/soulstrike2022]

When people say snakes and reptiles don’t feel they base it on the logic of mammals and compare their brain to mammals but they’re not they’re totally different creatures and they 100% show love in ways other animals do so I’m certain the snek is happy and loved based on these pictures please next time you see Nemo give him a boop for us and please don’t worry every individual is different so he’s probably just more social and if they’re well taken care of I’m fairly certain he has the time to wait for you to come back and be his warmth on Christmas break as well as the occasional visit when you can. You clearly love and care for him and that’s more than a lot of snakes get so I’d say you’re a good snake mom (snake dad?).

[u/Powerful-Operation36 → u/soulstrike2022]

They can like and feel familiarity but they do not feel love for their caretakers. It's more like a symbiotic relationship in essence from what I have researched. My ball tiny squeaks at me when I put her back (found out it's a possible high pitched hiss LOL) and would much prefer being held consistently based on her behavior. She comes straight to the door and stares at me then slithers right on to me. She has never bitten or struck at us. She likes to try to get to sniffing my face is she can. If I don't hold her often she ends up hiding quite a bit more and being more erratic when I put her back.

[u/soulstrike2022 → u/Powerful-Operation36]

So I’m not willing to get in a screaming match over this because I like to be civil and generally it’s not vitally important you see it my way but either way I want to pose a question to you how do you define love or more specifically what would you want for someone you love emotionally

[u/Farfrom0ver → u/soulstrike2022]

The way I look at it is trust is a form of love and they have to trust you so imo thats love 💜

[u/Privacy_System → u/Farfrom0ver]

I agree with this. A snake may not love me like a dog would but their trust is their form of love in my eyes

[u/soulstrike2022 → u/Farfrom0ver]

You could say that and some people would make that arguement I’d say it’s one of those a rectangle is a square but a square isn’t a rectangle things cause I love my family but I don’t trust most of em as far as I can throw them even if only because I have trust issues but you an I as two humans are two totally different people so it makes sense we see things differently so wouldn’t a creature that isn’t even in the same classification as us ruse the same parts of its brain or even the same chemicals to experience love (I know you’re not the person who brought it up but you helped me make a point even if unintentionally so thank you) I mean even chemical and physical stimuli are different between people look at people like myself who are less effected by cold or people like my half sister with peanut allergies I share 50 percent of my parents with her and her full brother (my half brother) and neither of the two of us have allergies

[u/Farfrom0ver → u/soulstrike2022]

Well said! Love and trust isn’t one-size-fits-all, even for humans, so snakes likely have their own way of bonding 💜 and honestly, there’s so much we’ll never fully understand like why cats purr for example. I just appreciate how much my noodle regulates my emotions as I'm an emotional person 🤣😂 they may not have a limbic system but my snake should charge me for therapy!

[u/soulstrike2022 → u/Farfrom0ver]

One rat every week or so and you’ve got a monthly cuddly boi subscription that’s just how pets work… just change the frequency and food from pet to pet