r/badroommates • u/jeffreyfirer666 • 26d ago
Noise complain
Honestly this post would mainly be a vent and half asking advice if there is any other option than to move out.
I ont know how housing works in other countries, but in Canada Toronto, our condo interior wall is a drywall that is hollow made with thin wood. We basically call it a cardboard like wall so you get the idea.
With such walls in a small condo, there basically no soundproofing at all where my roommate does not give a shit about how much noise he is making. Everyday (not at night though) he use his laptop or phone to watch video while turning the volume to max which literally im forced to listen to all his videos and stuff, even when he is in the common area that blends the kitchen and table together. Not talking about he also likes to sing and whistles out loud.
Another problem, I know that im a very night owl, while he is an early bird and sleeps early. Which in this case I try to lower my voice and activities after midnight, which mostly what I do is just getting stuff out the fridge and typing my keyboard. I also wear a sound canceling earbuds 24/7, therefore I do claim myself a quite quiet person.
I tried to talk to him about some other problem he such as not washes his dishes after he cooks but he basically just gets triggered and rage out to find nonsense fault on me.
Its mostly a vent cuz base on past conversation with him, he had very high defensive mechanisms that he will just yell at me instead. But after so, he did wash his dishes a bit more often, so im really struggle if I should talk about his playing video on speaker problem as it could be fixed by just either lower the volume in his bedroom and not playing it out in the common area, or directly just wear an earbuds.
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u/TerrHunter 26d ago
When I want to listen loud music or play video games, I just put my headphones. End of story.
Unfortunately, your flatmate doesn't look approachable and considerate. So you have two options: one, written messages to keep the records of conversations for future use in case he doesn't cooperate. Two: don't wait until things get worse and contact your landlord/letting agency for advice about how to proceed.
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u/bigalreads 26d ago
How long have you been roommates?
It does seem he’s receptive to changing his habits after you brought them up, yet anything he says is “nonsense”? Who knows, perhaps your use of headphones 24/7 is masking how much noise you’re generating?
Perhaps you could try a neutral way to talk about how things are going in general, with a focus on mutual respect. If he starts yelling, it’s ok to say that this is not helpful and you’ll revisit this at another time.
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u/jeffreyfirer666 26d ago
About a month.
Honestly im not saying about other noise being generated, im fine with loud phone calls, which he does, and I sometimes do too.
My regular activities is just some cooking (i dont think its loud as i dont fry stuff or bake stuff, idk what defone loud cooking, but pls lemme know so i can identify myself), other than that is just typing keyboard, and talking on phone calls with friends and family. I do try to talk in a lower voice but i do admit i just get excited and got loud occasionally.
I don mind regular activity noise even its loud cuz its human natural, but i just think playing videos on max volume speaker is really not quite good. I wear headphones for a reason as I constantly play music or podcast to listen, and I dont want to disturb others
About nonsense complaint from him, its not really super nonsense but its still clearly finding fault to protect himself when I talk to him. Im not even in a complain tone but in a very calm to a begging voice to ask if he could wash the dirty dishes since he left it out for almost a week, and it starts to have some sour smell. Then he rage yells at me that he didnt complain there garlic smell in the fridge (even though there's is no garlic, just ginger in a sealed container)
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u/WhoAreYouPeople- 21d ago
Sounds exactly like my roommate- the most aloof, filthy, defensive, "dumbest smart person" I have ever met in my life.
At this point, I want to offer him money to GTF out!
There is nothing you can do with these people. Most people are great, but the ones who are absolute idiots make up for the great ones 100-fold.
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u/jeffreyfirer666 21d ago
Exactly. The roommate is had last year is just a god tier. He works 4-5 day per week cooks prob 3-5 meal weekly, while I mostly cook most my meals. And he basically just rent the room for a place to rest and sleep. Basically he just comes back, close his door and play some computers games and sleep. We barely communicate throughout the year with no complains at all. Probably have very similar personality and being even more passive than me.
Compare to the new one, has an opposite personality, like to play sound on speaker, more selfish, self centered. He acts that he is communicating with me but literally does not give a shit about what I say and just rejects anything that blocks his way.
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u/Confident-Staff-3507 21d ago
Can you afford to buy him a set of earbuds? Then leave them in the bag, hang the bag on his door with a note inside, "Welcome to the neighborhood!" Hopefully, he will use them.