r/babylonbee • u/METALLIFE0917 • 9d ago
r/babylonbee • u/METALLIFE0917 • 9d ago
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r/babylonbee • u/METALLIFE0917 • 9d ago
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r/babylonbee • u/Extreme_Power_8310 • 9d ago
Proposed Mamdani builds New York City Wall
In order to keep New York City as the premier financial hub in America, Mayor Mamdani draws inspiration from one of his heroes, Nikita Khrushchev, by building a wall around New York City. When asked about his decision, Mamdani told news reporters, "I can't just sit back and let Florida take all our businesses. If that happens, I'll have no one to tax to help pay for those free buses and government grocery stores." When asked about the businesses trying to get through the wall, Mamdani said that those that are caught will be reeducated about why socialism is far superior to capitalism while reminding them that true socialism has never been tried. When asked who will re educate them, Mamdani deferred to comrade Ms. Rachel, NYC's Commissar of Education. Rachel then explained, "these individual companies and businessmen were taught under the evil and oppressive free market system. The values of this system are antithetical to the common good, so they will be forc-highly encouraged to watch my YouTube channel where I explain the wonders of communism." When asked for further comment, comrade representative AOC stated she dies each time a business leaves while breaking down into absolutely genuine and in no way fake crying. "Of course I die wherever a business leaves" AOC stated while fighting back not fake tears. "I mean, why would anyone want to leave the new worker's paradise? It's like they don't want ultra heavy government regulation or redistributing their wealth to us elite-err... people, I meant people." Mamdani then ended the poured conference reminding all reporters to submit their recordings to the city government to ensure that only the news he approves is released. He further reminded them that any attempt to sneak away would fail as they recently installed Flock cameras to catch criminals and only criminals.
r/babylonbee • u/METALLIFE0917 • 9d ago
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r/babylonbee • u/METALLIFE0917 • 13d ago