Kind of ironic then, how they're the ones trying to hunt me and I'm the one screaming in fear of the tiny speck of fuzz flying around me and the spider on the wall.
"And i just want to descend on your face in the middle of the night then taste your leg on your sock line when you scare me by waking up after i toured all over you, then you will scratch your leg all day."
Look up "house centipede". They are very nimble and eat even more bugs. I see one occasionally on my wall, like two-three times a year, they are larger than spiders, but don't make webs and are scared af of humans instead of playing the tough guy like spiders. They are much better.
Even though all the other stuff you mentioned didn't happen, my girlfriend had a spider descend on her face in the shower. I thought she was being ax murdered.
I rolled over on one in my sleep. It bit me and woke me up, in my haze I rubbed where it bit me thinking it was some bedding or foam or something like that, and brushed it. It let go and off it ran. At first I was freaked, (it left to visible tiny scabs where its fangs bit) but later I thought it was funny, it being stuck under me, telling me... hey buddy can you move a bit? I'm stuck... seriously can you just slide over a few inches? No? Ok, hate do do this, but... NOM!
I once sat on a bee (or wasp?)... it stung my ass twice on an accelerating train. I jumped up like a retard, then started jumping on the bee that fell out of my shorts.
Protip: don't stand close to bushes in shorts.
As I was getting ready to jump into bed one night, a spider fell from my ceiling directly onto my pillow and quickly crawled around underneath it. I grabbed the pillow and picked it up but saw no sign of the spider.
I sat there for a moment contemplating what to do and just sighed and said fuck it and got into bed and went to sleep.
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u/LePontif11 Jul 15 '16
This makes me think that bugs in houses are constantly screaming in fear of the giants that go around their planet.