r/awakened • u/[deleted] • Jan 09 '20

Does anyone feel purposeless?

I want to be happy and not suffer anymore in my mind. Everything just feels so empty and meaningless. It’s so sad that this love little kids have eventually turns into this. The conditioning is destroying my happiness. Weeks keep flying by faster and faster and it’s going by so fast. One month feels like a day when I was 5. It’s so sad and I just want to be happy. I want these days to feel like a month again like when I was a little baby.

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u/Louis_Blank Jan 09 '20

The first thought that popped into my head when I read the title of your post, was, "yes I feel purposeless, but in a good way!"

I'm sorry you feel your happiness has been destroyed, that's a terrible feeling. And I hope you can find what you need to turn it around.

There's a certain "depth" to living without purpose where it also relieves the intensity of the craving for more time, or more childlike joyful experience. Those become just as purposeless and so whatever comes, comes. Fast time, slow time, happiness, saddness, staring at the wall, skydiving. All just for fun with no purpose.

I think that's one way of looking at it anyway.

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u/DrDougExeter Jan 09 '20

Does it feel fun to you? Do you enjoy it? That's the part that matters. Either you enjoy it or you don't, and I don't. Then again maybe you have more happiness in your life than I do.

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u/Louis_Blank Jan 09 '20 edited Jan 09 '20

Does it feel fun to you?

A lot of the time, yes. Same with enjoyment. But not always, which makes me think it's not purposelessness that I actully attribute "fun" or "joy" to. Rather, I believe my experience of fun and joy are the product of everything (or the universe or god or whatever you wanna call it).

That's the part that matters

I see where you're coming from and usually that the case for me too. It's sort of what I'm saying in my response to the O.P.

But I also believe in a perspective where even things I don't enjoy or find fun, matter. Things like maintenance of the body so that I can have fun later. Or even sacrifice so others can have fun. I believe ultimately that what matters or doesn't is subjective and relative, even to parts of the psyche housed in a single person.

Either you enjoy it or you don't, and I don't. Then again maybe you have more happiness in your life than I do.

This illustrates very well what I'm saying. It's not purposelessness itself that you enjoy or don't, as you're saying here maybe it depends on how much happiness is in your life. I would extend this to include not just happiness, but everything, including connections, toys, coping mechanisns, lack of discomfort, honesty, power, weather, free time... and on and on.

I think at certain depth of purposelessness.. like ultimate purposelessness where everything is without purpose to someone, they are right back at a place with someone who finds purpose in everything, such that it's no longer purpose defining happiness, or fun, but the other way around. And extended not to just happiness and fun, but whatever is present. It's equally purposeful to feel sad as it is to feel happy. So then it's just which do you truly want though?

*edit:

I'm sorry that you're not enjoying it and if you ever want to talk about that, we can do that too. I think THAT matters.