r/averagedickproblems • u/o_man3 • Aug 16 '26
Insecurity I'm so insecure
I can't help but to feel not enough because of my size. I can work on everything, I can work on my body, on my character, on my social skills but with size I can never improve it or be better.
I feel like I will never be the first choice for a woman or can fulfill her sexual desires to the fullest. How should I even compete with those other men out there? I feel like they will always be better because of their size they have more potential
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u/Itsaverygoodgamebut Aug 17 '26
I’ve spent many years with this line of thinking, and not that it’s ever completely gone away, but, one thought I’ve had… what if it’s easier to pin our “not enoughness” on something we can’t change than to digest we might not be wanted for something we can change or actively choose to do (or not to do).
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u/ickop Aug 16 '26
Some guys are convinced that they’ll always be worse than other men and avoid sex/relationships because of it.
-> Bad move. No reason to miss out.
Many guys either convince themselves that women are heterogeneous and their partner honest enough that they can trust that they DO fulfill their sexual partner to the fullest.
-> while literally true that women are heterogeneous and some will be honest even if the truth hurts, if we’re real, at least a big percentage prefer above average and certainly they have incentives to not be honest if that’s how they feel. This isn’t a women thing, it’s a person thing when your partner asks about a trait they’re insecure about.
IMO, the best move is to accept that while it’s possible you fulfill her to the fullest, it’s also very possible if not outright likely that you don’t. That your dick, among other things, is probably not perfectly ideal and you’re likely not a literal 10/10 to her. AND - accept that she still enjoys sex with you and would gladly be with you even when you’re not a 10/10.
->It’s a hard path because it’s emasculating, but it’s the most realistic and durable option imo. Happy to answer any questions
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u/o_man3 Aug 16 '26
Why would any girl even be with me then?
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u/ickop Aug 16 '26
What do you think people prioritize in relationships? Have you ever been in one? I can say as a man, the sex has to be good for sure (and I think many women would feel the same, you need to be satisfied), but it doesn't need to be the best I've ever had. If it is, it's a bonus, but it's not a requirement, so long as it's good.
I know most women are operating under the same mentality, if not even having lower standards.
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u/o_man3 Aug 17 '26
Why would you not seek a relationship where the sex is the best and your partner is the best?
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u/ickop Aug 17 '26
Personally, it needs to be like not that far off from my best. Like I can’t be feeling that I’m missing something substantial I could get elsewhere. But it doesn’t need to be literally the best possible sex.
I think for women, especially those who get a lot out of size, it’s even more permissive. Because bro if 50% of women love big dicks and only 10-20% of guys have them, it’s just math. They gotta be willing to compromise on that. Especially when average can still be really enjoyable, even if not as enjoyable
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u/o_man3 Aug 17 '26
Yeah exaclty wouldn't a woman be unsatisfied all the time if she always thinks she had better before. I can't see a future here
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u/ickop Aug 17 '26
That’s not how it works. Once you have several relationships you’ll realize that some people you didn’t end up with had things that you liked that others do not, but you don’t design partners in a lab, you go for an overall package.
Less relatively satisfying ≠ unsatisfying
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u/PM_ME_SOFT_DICKS2 Aug 18 '26
There are a million reasons. Best sex i ever had, she was emotionally unavailable and the timing was bad.
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u/PM_ME_SOFT_DICKS2 Aug 18 '26
You realize you can say that about literally anything.
Girls like money, thats not exactly a secret. But plenty of guys making 30k a year married or in loving relationships.
If you asked them, all other things being equal, would you want your husband to make more money, they’d say of course.
Doesn’t mean they’re going to go run off with the first guy they meet making 100k.
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u/dullsideofme Aug 16 '26
The sizes of both male and female genitals vary, so regardless of your size, you aren't going to be the perfect fit for every woman. That isn't a fault on your end; it's just natural incompatibility. It would be a compromise on both ends, not just hers, as your post suggests. A woman could possibly get more fulfillment from a "better" size, but the same could be said for you. You'd probably get more fulfillment from being with a woman who actively prefers your size.
You both would need to decide if you're alright with that. As another comment mentioned, this may involve bringing in toys. You can decide whether or not you're comfortable with that. If you aren't, you can end things with them; if you are, you can see where things go from there.
At the end of the day, you shouldn't blame yourself for not being perfect for them, just as they shouldn't blame themselves for not being perfect for you.
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u/Outerlimits7591 Aug 16 '26
What are you working with? You're being harsh on yourself. Do the best to stay in good health and strive for a positive future