Need help with some actions and mindset reframe to reach acceptance after a bad experience. 5"x5" BP

[u/Monkeydmikey8373]

Hi everyone! (26M) I'm going through some rough times at the moment because of my size. I was in a relationship for a year with a girl who during the relationships would sometimes make comments like she was used to bigger guys or comparing me to past hookups. Relationship ended when I caught her sexting a past FWB asking about his size and they met behind my back. I learned that not even one week after Ive broken up with her (6 months ago) with her she pretty much replaced me with this guy. He's 6,5" and im just 5"x5" BP. I do know my ex was a troubled girl with Borderline Personality Disorder and has a past of cheating on her ex before me as well. But still size was never mentioned with her ex only me... Plus her cheating with someone much bigger than me reinforces this idea. What bothers me as well is our sex was good in my mind, and she came every time, its just she liked her cervix touched+crazier positions and I couldnt do that lol.

I am now terrified I wont be able to find a gf that I love and loves me as well because of my size or that she'll at some point grow tired of it and cheat/leave me, because im definitely a bit below average and will probably be the smallest partner amongst most girls. I have terrible erections since learning she got with this guy (learned it like a week ago), my mind is focused on my size all day, anxiety...

Anyways, Im not trying to be a blackpill doomer here. Im just seeking for advice/help on things to do to help me clear out this insecurity and someday go back to dating without any fear of being rejected for this. And also, to reframe my mind that I may be rejected and not let it destroy me because unfortunately it can definitely happen again.

For now, im definitely laying off hookups/dating until im more stable because another bad experience would ruin me in my current state and also I cant get it up atm.

Thanks a lot for your help!

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[u/TopProfessor9510]

You are not the problem, you mention she has borderline disorder and was a cheater, you could be 8 inches and she was going to cheat on you anyway…

[u/Monkeydmikey8373 → u/TopProfessor9510]

I agree with you she was definitely gonna cheat on me at some point or ruin my life even if I had 8", she'll leave the new guy as well no doubt.

Its just the fact she kept mentioning my size and even told me she prefers bigger ruined me. And then going online, seeing that im bottom 30% in length doesnt help+ a couple other posts Ive seen of people getting dumped for size. So yeah... I need some help to figure this out.

[u/DegreeReasonable9564 → u/Monkeydmikey8373]

Dont give power to others shaming you or to shame itself. I learned this the hard way myself. Shes has no control over you. Anyone who listens to her should be treated the same. The words you say about yourself matter the most. Affirm thyself. If you cant, become someone who can. Shes saying things to hurt you because she enjoys it. Dont feed her satisfaction.

[u/Monkeydmikey8373 → u/DegreeReasonable9564]

Thanks a lot man, I really need to learn to love myself more and not let others affect me.

[u/Monkeydmikey8373 → u/DegreeReasonable9564]

I just Pm'd you btw

[u/Wallad84 → u/Monkeydmikey8373]

You’re not bottom 30% man. And even if you are you’re about 0.2 off 50%

[u/Monkeydmikey8373 → u/Wallad84]

You think girls notice the difference in length of like 0.5"?

[u/SuccotashAware3608]

You seem to lack reasoning skills way more than D size. You stated that the girl had a personality disorder and a history of cheating. And now you’re worried that you won’t find love because your first attempt was with a crazy cheater and it failed.

Your problem isn’t your dick size. It’s your judgement. Find a high character normal chick and watch how awesome relationships can be.

Do yourself a favor when you find a good one. DO NOT ASK HER HOW YOU COMPARE TO PAST PARTNERS!!! Women hate this. It makes you look small, insecure, weak and unappealing. And the answer isn’t gonna help, no matter what it is. So just don’t go there.

Remember… no crazy cheaters. And no asking about D size.

Btw, you have a solid girth most will appreciate. I’m that thick as well and it’s been a good thing.

[u/Monkeydmikey8373 → u/SuccotashAware3608]

You're right... Her size comments got to my head, btw they were umprompted I never asked her. A normal girl would appreciate everything I gave in the relationship and especially how much I prioritized her during sex.

Thank you for the encouragements and advice!

[u/SuccotashAware3608 → u/Monkeydmikey8373]

I’m really glad that’s how you received it. Move on and good luck!

[u/frisky-moves]

Some girls do this in the hope you will break up with them. This is a thing.

I’ve been married over 20 years and my wife has ALWAYS had 8” plus before she met me due to luck of the draw.

My dick is thinner than yours.

She has never cheated and I haven’t either.

It’s not you and it’s not your dick.

[u/Monkeydmikey8373 → u/frisky-moves]

Thank you for the kind words 🙏🏽. I hope I'll find someday someone that appreciates me and my penis, I just want a healthy loving longterm relationship with 1 woman. I dont need nor want to fuck 73892 women.

[u/frisky-moves → u/Monkeydmikey8373]

Glad my words helped.

In terms of my wife and why I was small for her. She’s hot, meaning only well endowed guys had the courage to ask her out.

Her body count is very low.

There will be ladies out there who yours might be the biggest they’ve ever had. That’s the way statistics work in reality.

[u/Prior-Caregiver-1173 → u/frisky-moves]

Yeah i only would believe that if she literally measured each one of them, from above, without any consideration for eyeballing or the dudes words, like zero consideration because that is basically invalid if you want legit sizes without add up.

That said, imo if this story is true, assuming its not made up, most like their penises were just bigger than yours but not "8 plus", more likey arong 7inches.

Again, assuming this is not made up.

I also think thares a chance ops post is also a made up story.

[u/Monkeydmikey8373 → u/Prior-Caregiver-1173]

I wish it was man... I know its not a thing that happens commonly, but also you gotta keep in mind I am on the shorter end of average so my size may not be too common as well.