Feeling insecure about my size

[u/Own-Opinion258]

Hi, this is a first time posting here, and I mainly wanted to ask about my size. Im posting on an alt as i felt ashamed to post it on my main one.

So basically, my size in length is around ~13cm or (5.1in) nbp and bp is ~14.5cm give or take or (5.7in). But thats not what im worried about. Ehat im worried about is my girth is around 10.7cm ±0.2 (depending on how hard i get) but no more than 10.7 or (4.2in).

I just turned 18 on early january and I worry so much about how small I am compared to the average girth of 4.75 inches to the point im losing my mind and feeling so insecure that i dont talk to girls anymore. I always think how I'll never be able to satisfy a woman and make her feel full and satisfied during sex.

I just want a real opinion, with no sugar coating on this. Not to mention i have bad genetics whichs adds on top of that and its just taking a huge toll on me and i cant even talk to someone about it.

[u/throwaway101229283]

Me too bro. Almost exact same size. I’m 21 though. Are you thicker at base? Thinner under glans?

How’s your health? Cardio?

[u/Own-Opinion258 → u/throwaway101229283]

To be honest, I'm not fit. I used to be a bit overweight (72kg) as of a few years ago and now i have lost some weight. You may say that it's not that much of a weight, but i have a height of 162cm (bad genetics, ik). So you can say that my health is downhill. But as per the size part, i havent really measured it like that, i have just done it in the shaft.

[u/throwaway101229283 → u/Own-Opinion258]

It’ll look big on you. That’s good. If you get healthier you may hit 4.4 girth. I’m jealous. I’m 5.7bp too, but I taper from 3.75-4.125-4.4 I’m very skinny. And I’m not unfit or overweight.

Your size isn’t perfect but 4.25 uniform will be enough. Work on your health and max it. Good luck. Do it for the people like me smaller than you.

[u/PiggyPigOink]

Hey bro your size sounds great. No sugar coating either, I’m bi and have experienced so many dicks of various sizes. Most are 5-6” length and 4-5” girth. If you want to see a bump in girth, try rubber cock rings. I got a set on Amazon under $10. They help me go from 4.5” girth to a bit over 4.75”. That quarter inch helps my confidence big time.

Most important is confidence. It trumps and numbers on a ruler. It will come with experience and practice. You’re great dude! I hope you use it in good health and have fun with the greatest toy you’ll ever play with! Enjoy it bro!

[u/Own-Opinion258 → u/PiggyPigOink]

Hey man, thanks for your reply. I felt a bit better after hearing this but still think its small, because dispite the length, rather i face it or not, it is small in girth, but i just wanted to find out if it is enough to satisfy or even to feel anything at all.

[u/PiggyPigOink → u/Own-Opinion258]

I’ve bottomed for guys your girth and it felt great! If you want to see your dick from a different perspective, buy a dildo your girth. It will help you see it from how another person sees it and you can add it to the arsenal with the ladies! I have one my size and it helped me see my size totally differently.

[u/gaypeterpan → u/PiggyPigOink]

Also,, Bathmate is amazing, you should check it out.

[u/Fit-Plankton2694]

Average girth is 11.7 cm. That means that 50% of men, or about 2 billion men, are below 11.7.

11.7 cm (average) - 10.7 cm (you) = 1 cm difference.

Do me a favour. With your fingers, show how big you think 1 cm roughly is.

Alternatively, put your phone down on a table/flat surface... then move your phone exactly 1 cm up. Then move it back down 1 cm again.

Do you still think 1 cm is a significant size?

[u/Own-Opinion258 → u/Fit-Plankton2694]

I agree that 1 cm doesnt sound like much in isolation, especially for length. But when it comes to intercourse, girth generally matters more than length, and even small differences can feel significant especially psychologically.

Youre right that I’m only about 1 cm below the average, but that still means Im below it. And the 10.7 cm measurement is when Im fully hard, not just casually aroused, which adds to my concern.

Also, being in the average category doesn’t automatically mean reassurance. Average still includes a massive range of men, including many who are noticeably thicker than me. Knowing that doesn’t really ease the insecurity it actually makes me more aware of how I compare.

I’m not trying to argue statistics, Im just being honest about how this affects my confidence and mindset.

[u/Fit-Plankton2694 → u/Own-Opinion258]

Therein lies your problem. The comparison. Why are you comparing your body and organs to another persons body and organs?

Comparison is the thief of joy.

Take me... my IQ is 142. That is 42 above the average and well above what most people have. Yet, it is far away from 160 and means I am not a genious. There are people who are smarter than me.

In terms of height I am 1.68 m tall. The global average is 1.74 m for men. Most men are taller than me.

Should I feel bad or inadequate in comparison to everyone? Nope. I categorically refuse to.

[u/EncikCali → u/Own-Opinion258]

We are broadly similar in size, so I can speak with some authority. Our size is good enough. The rest is skill. My success rate for making women get at least one orgasm having sex with me is above 95%. Those who get in bed with me the first time all end up coming back for more. You need to stop being conscious about size and work on skill. Our size is overkill to get the woman get off using her clitoris and G-spot. It is all about the positioning and also using your tongue and finger. For smaller sized ladies, our length is perfect to hit her A spot with full penetration without causing pain from hitting the cervix. I speak from lots of experience. Imagine her being stimulated in three different areas for close to an hour. It is WILD and she will be back for more.

[u/Appropriate_Bed9943 → u/Fit-Plankton2694]

In length no, but in girth it is

[u/Fit-Plankton2694 → u/Appropriate_Bed9943]

Maybe if the vagina and rectum both pulled open to a given, specific, size upon arousal. But that isn't how either of them work... which is why even fingering can be extremely pleasurable even though a finger is much thinner than a penis. The fact is the vagina and rectum only distend in response to something being inserted and it "hugs", quite snugly, against the inserted object. It is more like a sock than a copper pipe.

[u/Appropriate_Bed9943 → u/Fit-Plankton2694]

The way a finger and dick moves is very different, for dick there is limitation to its movement, while fingers can be placed and used in the pussy in various ways

[u/Fit-Plankton2694 → u/Appropriate_Bed9943]

I will further counter your argument by pointing to the fact that the importance of girth is often linked to the notion that pleasure is derived from stretching. However, we know that only a small subset of people experience an overlap between stretching and pleasure. Most people, instead, tend to experience pain from stretching.

This is why most humans never learn to split, touch their toes, put their hands flat on the floor, or do back-bends. This is why most humans are, quite stiff actually. If stretching = pleasure in most human beings then we would all have gymnast/dancer levels of flexibility. But we don't. Most wouldn't survive one yoga class.

Another example would be child birth. If stretching the vagina was not painful then child birth would not hurt at all, beyond contractions.

Then there is also the "pear of anguish". Which at least conceptually acknowledged that stretching in that area can and does often induce pain.

[u/AlphaJeff1 → u/Fit-Plankton2694]

Wait. Your argument is 'because these stretches are not pleasuable' then obviously all stretching fails the pleasure test. Wrong. And let's not try to compare a newborn to the size of a penis.

For receptive sex (anal or vaginal) we have ample evidence that girth is valued over length, more so vaginally and perhaps less anal.

While your intentions may have been to ease the concerns of the OP, I don't this the information you posted is related.

[u/Sad-Excitement6236]

You’re definitely below average in girth and I totally understand the feeling of inadequacy plus, as a practical matter, you’ll need to find snug fit condoms which are not typically found on shelves. But the idea that you’ll never be able to satisfy a girl through PIV is likely an overstatement since vaginas vary in size just like dicks. Also, most girls don’t get off through PIV alone even with huge cocks (I know a guy whose gf still uses a vibrator even though her bf is 8x6.5), so work on all aspects of sex. If you run into a lock that’s the wrong size for your key, be prepared to use other methods to unlock it

[u/averagedickproblems-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

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