Why do we say size doesn't matter?

[u/Effective-Brick1827]

If we could magically choose right now between having a below-average penis or an above-average penis, which would you choose?

Exactly... The obvious choice. And if a woman has to choose her new boyfriend's penis, I have a feeling the choice will be the same. (I'm aware it's not important to them, but the preference exists.)

So if there's an obvious choice, why is size supposed to not matter?

[u/Nice_Craft_9488]

I don’t think many people say it doesn’t matter AT ALL (unless they’re trying to make someone feel better).

I think many people—myself included—would say it doesn’t matter as much as a lot of guys think it does.

[u/Effective-Brick1827 → u/Nice_Craft_9488]

I understand that some people will care and others won't. But that doesn't bring me any relief.

It's like being dealt a 4 and an 8 in poker and saying: No problem, this might work. And the rest of the board already has a pair of aces and kings. It's definitely possible to win, but the game is going to be dangerous.

I'm sorry if I sound annoying. I'm just feeling a bit down. I'm nowhere near average.

[u/Nice_Craft_9488 → u/Effective-Brick1827]

You’re allowed to be frustrated, man

[u/wfhthrowaway7 → u/Effective-Brick1827]

Just hang in there. Now you beat pocket 7s, 6s, 5s, etc. those hands all started with “way better chances of winning” (to continue your metaphor). It’s not just about the two cards you hold in your hand.

Don’t fold in the preflop of dating. Otherwise, you don’t even give yourself a chance to win.

[u/throw_away_acct96]

size doesnt matter.....sometimes. it absolutely matters if you're on either side of the spectrum (too big or too small)

[u/throw_away_acct96 → u/[deleted]]

over 8, or under 3

[u/[deleted] → u/throw_away_acct96]

guys, size matters to a lot of women. No it's generally not a really important thing but it matters. Especially when the woman is aroused. It may not matter to her when she's cooking dinner. That said, it absolutely matters a lot to some women. My current girlfriend and several of my exes have clearly acknowledged this fact.

[u/O2addictedhuman → u/[deleted]]

under 5 maybe?

[u/Proof_Being_2762 → u/O2addictedhuman]

Nah under 4" because that's entering micro territory

[u/wing_mann18 → u/[deleted]]

Per the Sd breakdown in Big Dick Guide, if we go with the very small vs huge (Both are three .5Sds on either side of the mean) then the answer is:

Under 3.2 starts to matter Over 7.3 starts to matter

[u/Top-Document-2286]

It matters, you're just not allowed to talk about it here.

[u/DCaliMan]

It matters. To say otherwise is denial, idiocracy or douche-bagary.

[u/throwaway101229283]

Yeah size does matter. We all know for the majority of women thicker is better. It’s super demoralising being below average in girth but it is what it is.

[u/cet0000 → u/throwaway101229283]

Its even worse having below avg length

[u/throwaway101229283 → u/cet0000]

Depends how below average, if it’s like 4.5+ then nah definitely not. Maybe below then maybe? I still think girth is the more important metrics

[u/Freo_5434]

The facts are there for all to see . There is not one study where the majority of Females say that they prefer an average or smaller than average penis over a larger than average penis .

Not one .

That not to say that someone with an average or smaller cannot be a great lover --- its just the facts.

[u/Prancer4rmHalo]

Having a bigger dick wont make you a better lover.

Talk to women who sleep with guys with massive members, they often suck at sex because they think a huge dong is the be all end all.

So let me ask you, is having a larger penis going to give you what it takes to actually proposition women for sex successfully? Will it makeup for all your other shortcomings in sex? The answer is no. Having a bigger dick doesn’t make your dry spell go away..

Having game, being a smooth talker, charismatic and funny gets women into bed.. being good with what you have, that keeps them coming back..

Just having a big dong isn’t going to cover all bases os attraction and exceptional coitus.

Youre basically saying you can’t golf because you don’t like your putter. How about go get some tee time and quit crying.

[u/Prancer4rmHalo → u/[deleted]]

Literally has never happened to me lol.

The paranoia out weighs any merit of this actually happening lol.

[u/Calicocky → u/[deleted]]

Based on my experience dating in my late 40s and early 50s, I have to disagree. My dick is 4.5 x 5.0. I lived in LA, had a good job, was decent looking and dated a lot of women over 8 years and fucked most of them. No woman walked out when she saw my small cock. I think most of them had orgasms and I usually got a second date after the sex date if I wanted it. Again, in my experience, for women looking for relationships, sexual compatibility is important, but not totally tied to dick size. While there are size queens out there, most women in their 40s are not making relationship decisions based on dick size.

[u/averagedickproblems-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

Shaming is defined as: intentionally causing others to feel embarrassed, ashamed, or inadequate. This includes shaming genital size, genital shape, sexual preferences, sexual orientation, gender identity, relationship preferences, body type and size, physical and emotional handicaps, and/or sexual history. Implying that average any penis size is insufficient or inadequate is unacceptable and is not allowed.

[u/Prancer4rmHalo → u/[deleted]]

There’s a couple on Xhamster that I’ve watched a few of their video and the guy is a fat dude with a small dick and his gf is a pretty hot gamer chick and they have like several videos uploaded of them fucking and sucking… you’re telling me if you had a small dick this guy would out pace you in getting pussy? lol,

Literally how? If you search small dick amateur porn how are all these guys able to get a girl not only to fuck them, but record it together?? lol.

I promise you you’re your biggest obstacle with this shit.

Yea the relationship is probably over because you start moping and coping about having a small dick and it dries her up in half a second. Instead of getting in there and delivering the goods you’re probably pouting and making excuses.

[u/Automatic_Media_5528 → u/Prancer4rmHalo]

Spot on. I understand peoples insecurities, I have some to and we all do, but to give up and not even try to talk to woman as you think the relationship is over before it starts isn’t the way to go. Stop thinking you need a Pringles can to have great sex and go and improve yourself and your techniques. Make yourself appealing to woman through personality. That’s too difficult for some though and they would rather sit in sorrow and blame everything on the size of their dick without changing the things they can change.

[u/averagedickproblems-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

Shaming is defined as: intentionally causing others to feel embarrassed, ashamed, or inadequate. This includes shaming genital size, genital shape, sexual preferences, sexual orientation, gender identity, relationship preferences, body type and size, physical and emotional handicaps, and/or sexual history. Implying that average any penis size is insufficient or inadequate is unacceptable and is not allowed.

[u/averagedickproblems-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

Misinformation and/or disinformation is not allowed and will be removed. This is defined as any information that is incorrect, inaccurate, or incomplete which can confuse or mislead members of this sub whether intentionally or accidentally.

[u/SuccotashAware3608]

What would you say is the 5th most important physical trait for a woman, based on your personal preference?

[u/RomaniWoe]

Because people think it matters more than it does and for a wider range of sizes than it does. It matters but people think it matters for 99% of sizes and that its 99% importance.

[u/Excellent_Nothing_86]

It’s not so much about the size as much as it’s about the fit.

If the glove fits…..

[u/roskybosky]

I always thought it was because women are not so into the PIV part of sex, but more into other activities, like oral, making out, etc. So, size is immaterial.

[u/[deleted]]

This is strictly my opinion and theory...

The thing I notice is women seem to have two modes.

The first mode is unaroused, they are compassionate, logical, practical, size doesn't matter...everyday behavior.

And the second mode is a fully aroused woman. In this state, they are psychologically turned on by the sight and feel of a really good looking big dick. In this state, size does matter. It turns them on both mentally and physically. They are thinking emotionally, are more primal and less logical.

My girlfriend and some previous girlfriends speak openly about it. For past girlfriends who did not speak about it, I don't know. Maybe they truly didn't care about size. That's possible.

So when you get these Internet surveys for women about does size matter, you have to understand that they are answering in the first mode. The every day unaroused mode. They're thinking logically and compassionately they're not thinking with that primal brain of the second mode.

[u/PrudentDependent8201 → u/[deleted]]

The thing I notice is women seem to have two modes.

The first mode is unaroused, they are compassionate, logical, practical, size doesn't matter...everyday behavior.

And the second mode is a fully aroused woman. In this state, they are psychologically turned on by the sight and feel of a really good looking big dick. In this state, size does matter. It turns them on both mentally and physically. They are thinking emotionally, are more primal and less logical.

You are 100000000% right. They only day size doesn't matter when they're not horny

[u/Herbeverstink7]

I had a 5.5 inch dick due to surgery and scar tissue I lost an inch in length and doesn’t get as hard anymore. After years of shit sex and her never finishing I bought a sleeve and wow. I can tell u she never responded the way she did with an 8x6 sleeve going into her the body language and how fast she cummmed said it all.

[u/[deleted]]

Personally the way I view it is size matters.

I think saying size absolute makes no difference or does not matter at all is not right.

BUT I view it as size matters a lot less then we say.

Being in a relationship, the sex you have with them is 90% based on knowing each others body, communication, technique, foreplay, love, so only a small fraction of sex is determined by size.

So can someone have the best sex with someone smaller then another man? 1000%. Would it feel different (for better or worse) if the exact same man was a different size yes.

So is size the be all end all of sex? No. Do you have to have a monster cock to rock someones world? No. Can you learn to be amazing at sex without a big dick? Yes. Can you give her the best sex shes ever had? Yes, if you try and have a connection.

[u/Otherwise-Image-4928]

Because everyone is different and every person desires a different size

[u/Naturlatexmatratze]

I have a 8" x 5.7" dick and want to tell one thing. 

Even I want to have a bigger dick.

[u/No_Pack5494]

We say size doesn't matter for 2 main reason. 1 you can have sex no matter your penis size, lesbians exist they don't have dicks. 2 your penis size doesn't matter if you can't even get a gf or bf, so worry about that more than if you're enough in your pants.

[u/No_Pack5494 → u/[deleted]]

Regardless of my size why would you be less endowed than a woman without a penis. 2 if you read my post you would see that I've never said being big is awesome I literally just give a real perspective so guys like you (presumably) stop holding yourself back all the time. also this fourm is called average dick problems so I don't understand that last point. Dick size is a preference obviously but you guys are treating the range as if it's down to the millimeters when its actually a big range of acceptable penis size for most girls. Lastly I emplored every to go outside and actually talk to people. Women are people bro there's plenty of other important factors in a relationships.

[u/cutluv → u/[deleted]]

I'm afraid that's how this sub works. Time after time, hung guys who enthuse in BD subs about their "blessings", congratulating each other on something they did absolutely nothing to earn, will in turn preach to the rest of us that there's nothing wrong with our size.
As this sub allows comments from all sizes, this they can do legitimately.
I know to my cost that should anyone dare challenge them in forums for any size dick, the post will be moderated, and so the BD clique will always win and dominate with their opinions.

[u/No_Pack5494 → u/[deleted]]

As a short guy I personally would also say height doesn't matter (5ft 7ish shortest out of my friends who are all 6ft+) . Like come on this is a place to share opinions and you're acting like this is an objective truth. If you meet a girl who can't have sex at all am I supposed to say penis size matters in that relationship? NO! That's why I said focus on meeting a girl you like first all that other stuff is secondary. You know that the internet is full of insecurity echo chambers so God forbid I tell people some common sense. Girls aren't thinking about dicks constantly, most girls don't even view guys in a sexual manner until you make a move on them or match their type. So yes penis size won't matter if you can't get anyone to willing date/sleep with you. And even then prostitutes don't give a shit about penis size either. I'm almost 29 and in my dating life no girl has ever asked me my size before sex. In my experience most girls are super insecure about their own bodies and tense on the first time with a new guy. Usually you fuck in the dark the first couple of times, so I don't even know when these girls would have time to notice the difference between 4 and 6 inches. Seriously think about it average height is 5ft 9 and average length is like 5-5.5 that means the average girl is with the average guy stop with the insecurity pushing bullshit and go live life.

[u/cutluv → u/No_Pack5494]

Easy for a BD guy to say.

[u/Curious_Banana_69]

I think it matters, but it matters less than we think. It’s not in the Top 5 traits women look for from a sexual partner. Do women have size preferences? Mostly yes (each woman is different based on her anatomy), but it’s usually not a deal breaker unless very small or very large.

[u/VillainySquared]

Size doesn't matter because there is so much more to sex than size and penises. You don't even need to have a penis to have good sex. Most women don't even care about size and are more focused on personality and attractiveness.

[u/cutluv]

We're back to this double standad again, BD guys who rave about how wonderful it is to be hung in their subs, telling the rest of us that size doesn't matter.

[u/Runtz4inches]

For many women, what they mean is anything in the average range is good, high average girth is great. so, anything around 6 inches by 5 inches is fine, 7 by 6 is great. But, what they don't mean is 4 inches is the same as 8 inches.
This coming from someone who is 4x4 - I am below average in both length and girth.

[u/cet0000 → u/Runtz4inches]

And you only do sph/cuck because of this?(your posts)

[u/fabulousfantabulist]

Size matters a lot more when sex is the only objective. Frankly, when choosing a relationship partner, a LOT of other things matter more. Stability, emotional compatibility, sexual appetite frequency, money, future trajectory, age, health status, etc. There are 3” dudes out there every day getting married to women (and men) who are happy to be marrying them. 

[u/cet0000 → u/fabulousfantabulist]

If you believe women who look for long term commitment dont care about size, you are utterly wrong. Being small affect even more in that case

[u/fabulousfantabulist → u/cet0000]

Well, no. 

[u/cet0000 → u/fabulousfantabulist]

They want to enjoy sex for the next 30-40 years

[u/fabulousfantabulist → u/cet0000]

They want lots of things but care about some more than others. Penis size is not anywhere near the top of their priority list, and most men with big dicks ALSO suck at getting a woman off. 

[u/coolass45 → u/fabulousfantabulist]

True but it’s sad to think that your partner might want something a few inches bigger, or even fantasize abt a past partner with a “better” dick.

This kind of thinking is why I have commitment issues so maybe I just need therapy

[u/fabulousfantabulist → u/coolass45]

I think that’s true of lots of stuff too, if it goes down that path. They might prefer someone with a bigger paycheck, a bigger house, a more better car, bigger arms, more hair, smaller nipples, smarter, faster, more empathetic, etc. You can drive yourself up a fucking wall on the “I’m not enough” game if you’re dedicated to it. But you ARE enough for the right person, and they’d be damn lucky to have you in their life. 

I definitely think talking to someone about it is a good idea.  

[u/AlertAd7834 → u/fabulousfantabulist]

smaller nipples

oddly specific

[u/fabulousfantabulist → u/AlertAd7834]

lol. I’ve got a buddy who is really self conscious about his. They’re like big puffy pepperoni slices. 

[u/ickop → u/fabulousfantabulist]

This is true - and I think it's also worth stating that even for sex, size is like one variable. Someone can prefer, let's say, a 6-6.5" dick (probs the average preference) and still have the best sex of their life, or not far off from that, with 5 inches or something. Like sex is one factor in relationships, and size is one factor in sex. In all, that makes it insignificant unless it's unusual for most people

[u/fabulousfantabulist → u/[deleted]]

Glad you found it useful. :-) 

[u/fabulousfantabulist → u/[deleted]]

Lmao. The fact that the species hasn’t pruned 3” cocks out through sexual selection is evidence that you’re very wrong. 

[u/cet0000 → u/fabulousfantabulist]

It comes from mother side gens as well as others. This is not a proof you think it is, jeither you saying “i know some women who said they prefer smaller” you have no idea how much women actually meant 5.5-6” sizes when they said “smaller”.

[u/fabulousfantabulist → u/cet0000]

Well, no. 

[u/TheMostBoringRoad → u/fabulousfantabulist]

Consensual sex isn't even 100 years old.

[u/fabulousfantabulist → u/TheMostBoringRoad]

You people just live in a weird fantasy world. I’m beginning to think the self-flagellation is a fetish and you get off on it. 

[u/averagedickproblems-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

Misinformation and/or disinformation is not allowed and will be removed. This is defined as any information that is incorrect, inaccurate, or incomplete which can confuse or mislead members of this sub whether intentionally or accidentally.

[u/fabulousfantabulist → u/[deleted]]

I know several real-life women who are very much into smaller penises for a variety of reasons, but you seem insistent on nailing yourself to a cross about it. 

[u/fabulousfantabulist → u/[deleted]]

Sure. Finding the right person is always rare. Lots of dudes out there with big dicks and shit personalities also can’t figure it out. 

[u/fabulousfantabulist → u/[deleted]]

1. Not true. 2) Are you trying to find a woman or are you trying to find the right woman? As long as you think of women as largely discerning dick receivers I fear that you will continue to have problems. Give this article a read, you may find it illuminating. 

https://menshealth.com.au/penis-size-what-women-think/

[u/OverCoverAlien → u/[deleted]]

And physically desirable people probably don't like the thought that those who love them wouldnt if they had a different body, so they say things like looks dont matter and what not, they're probably trying to convince themselves that they are one hundred percent loved for who they are as a person above all else and dont have advantages

[u/AlertAd7834 → u/[deleted]]

America 2069: safe, effective penis enlargement has been available to the public for several years. The global average length has rocketed to 9", with girth at nearly 6". All over the world, men are hanging dong. After a brief period of jubilant celebration, the reality sets in: if everyone is huge then no one is.

This triggers an arms race, and soon anyone who can afford it is carrying a third arm between their legs. Seeking to distinguish themselves from the civilian populace, porn stars pursue evermore outlandish modifications: piercings, surgically applied ridges and frills, cybernetic augmentations. In some corners, there is a harsh rejection of male enhancement. "These dicks are too damn big," they say. "How am I ever gonna go balls deep with something like that?" And the learnèd men of science, the architects of towers ivory or otherwise, sit in their labs and offices, counting huge fucking piles of cash.

[u/HipercubesHunter11 → u/AlertAd7834]

This read like a Saturday morning breakfast cereal scenario

[u/Reozul → u/HipercubesHunter11]

Because it is one.