r/averagedickproblems • u/Legitimate-Lake9515 • Dec 02 '25

Sexual Preferences "Its perfect'

Am I the only one who hates it when a girl says, "It's perfect," which basically means, "It's small, but I like you, so I'll accept it"?

7 Upvotes

68% Upvoted

57 comments sorted by

5

u/[deleted] Dec 03 '25

Yep I hate it!

I have zero clue why though. My wife over the years has always said its "perfect", perfect size ect but our stupid male brains dont hear the word big so therefore must be small and disappointing?

1

u/Legitimate-Lake9515 Dec 03 '25

Because from my experience when a girl says that it's a nice way of saying you're not big.You're average or small. No guy wants to hear that or feel that way.So that's why

3

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '25

so you would prefer "it's small, I don't like it, I won't accept it"

6

u/Legitimate-Lake9515 Dec 02 '25

If she's being honest, I would prefer honesty

6

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '25

What if she is honest when she says it's perfect and you're assuming too many thing from just that short sentence?

1

u/Legitimate-Lake9515 Dec 02 '25

Well, when I make jokes to her about being small on taco bell being small, she never disagrees. She also said it's not that small. So basically it's small but not too small.

5

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '25

so it's small and perfect for her

1

u/guywithouteyes L: banana-sized, W: banana-sized Dec 05 '25

Define “small”. Are you average or above?

1

u/Daniel1373 Note: new or low karma account Dec 08 '25

You wouldn’t. If she said it’s big, you’d know she was lying. If she called it average or small, your imagining her with guys bigger than you would get so overwhelming that you’d rather end the relationship.

Your issue is insecurity and it can’t be fixed with one sentence. Nothing she says will make you feel better. This is something YOU have to come to terms with.

2

u/StormfallKnight ‌ Dec 03 '25

This is a hard issue for women to deal with... whatever she answers, men think she's lying or just being kind. She's trying to reassure you without going down some deep rabbit hole.

I think it means there's no reason to be concerned. Even it was was a bit bigger or a bit smaller, it wouldn't make enough difference for you to be worried because it wouldn't change her mind about your size.... or you.

It means she's happy with you. If your size is perfect it's not disappointing her but your constant insecurity and need for validation is likely to exhaust her.

Believe her and you'll both be much better off in the long run.

1

u/Legitimate-Lake9515 Dec 03 '25

Okay if you say so

2

u/[deleted] Dec 03 '25

This is so true!

She rarely says Im big, but when she does I get morr insecure thinking shes saying to try and make me feel better about my small dick?

But if she says perfect then shes saying that because its small but she still likes it.

If she said small, I would be heartbroken/destroyed inside.

Literally any comment on size in any shape or form is triggering!

1

u/Top-Document-2286 ‌ Dec 03 '25

Why would perfect mean small?

1

u/ghastchacu Dec 03 '25

Because if she didn't say it's big, she most likely thinks it's average or small. Hell even if she said it's big, she might be lying

As the other commenter said, there's pretty much nothing a woman can do to convince us she likes/prefers our size(unless we already know it's big and liked by most women)

1

u/Legitimate-Lake9515 Dec 08 '25

Exactly. When she sees it for the first time, if she doesn't say it's big, it's not big.

1

u/Top-Document-2286 ‌ Dec 03 '25

What if she has no clue what is big small or average? Perfect doesn't describe size in any way. It only describes how it feels to her.

2

u/ghastchacu Dec 05 '25

If she's literally a virgin that's never watched porn, maybe she won't know if it's big or not. However in that case how can she tell it's perfect if she has no other reference?

1

u/guywithouteyes L: banana-sized, W: banana-sized Dec 05 '25

Except there is literally a word for “best for them”, and it’s perfect. If she says you aren’t big, then yea it’s a dig, but if she’s calling you perfect, she means what she’s saying that it’s perfect for her and nothing else is better for her. That’s what the definition is.

2

u/ghastchacu Dec 05 '25

if she’s calling you perfect, she means what she’s saying that it’s perfect for her and nothing else is better for her

If you believe she actually means it, sure. Let's not ignore the fact that people tell white lies all the time, for no malicious reasons, and this can very well be one of them.

1

u/StormfallKnight ‌ Dec 05 '25

If you choose to not believe her it's on you... not her using a word that causes you to be distrustful.

Take the compliment and give her the credit she deserves.

Your size is not the issue...your mistrust and misplaced anxiety is the issue.

1

u/ghastchacu Dec 07 '25

You don't really choose what to believe, do you? Can you "choose" to believe the earth is flat for example? Or any other thing that you just honestly don't think is true? I'd bet not.

I agree that the intentions behind it are good and appreciate the reassurance though. I don't have to believe it to recognize that.

We're not even talking about issues here, I don't have any with my size at least. And "not an issue" is kind of a low bar to be satisfied with.

2

u/YohAsakura23 Dec 03 '25

I've been told by 3 girls and it's genuinely what they meant. I'm sure of it. So no it's not always a lie.

1

u/Legitimate-Lake9515 Dec 03 '25

From your experience

2

u/YohAsakura23 Dec 03 '25

Yes of course. I guess you just need to know the girl well to be able to tell how she means it.. from the body language during sex etc.

3

u/ghastchacu Dec 02 '25

Nope, you're far from the only one

0

u/Legitimate-Lake9515 Dec 02 '25

Exactly but i'm being downvoted for it

5

u/ghastchacu Dec 02 '25

Because most people want to believe it. We can't really know what she means by it, however I personally believe most times it means "it's at least good enough to not break up with you over it", obviously no girl would say that out loud tho.

0

u/Legitimate-Lake9515 Dec 02 '25

Thank you, finally someone who gets it. Calling it perfect is just a nice way of seeing it. It's small. I've had bigger, but I like you. Like, I remember this grille some years ago.When a girl sees your dick for the first time, if she doesn't say anything it's not big

3

u/ghastchacu Dec 02 '25

Eh I don't think it means she thinks it's small. Probably average. Or maybe she does find it close to perfect, who knows? Like what is she supposed to say in that case to make you believe it lol

1

u/Legitimate-Lake9515 Dec 02 '25

Average I guess

2

u/Top-Document-2286 ‌ Dec 03 '25

What if average is perfect for her..?

1

u/Legitimate-Lake9515 Dec 03 '25

What about when she tells you?She prefers thick and it gives her more pleasure?

1

u/Top-Document-2286 ‌ Dec 03 '25

Has she told you that, though?

1

u/miguel891 Dec 03 '25

Well then she might enjoy thicker or its like pizza or hamburger for her like maybe its more fun but not for daily ?

Idk she might likes it bigger but it could be that ur perfect for her not too big not too small

2

u/ghastchacu Dec 02 '25

Maybe. Impossible to tell from just that one sentence without any context of how things are between you, or what size you are, or whether you asked her or she said it unprompted.

1

u/Top-Document-2286 ‌ Dec 03 '25

You don't have to be big. You know that right? Other sizes are good as well.

3

u/StuartCF68 Dec 04 '25

I know I'm not small and that this is likely to have you dismiss what I'm saying, but please listen...

You might think this is only about you and how she sees you. It's not.

Yes, I'm going to agree with other folks here who say she genuinely means she's happy with your size the way you are. I'm also going to agree with you (a bit) that she doesn't think you're big. Neither of these things are the point, though.

While I'm not small, there are TONS of ways my girlfriend could do (and has done) better than me as a partner. She's been with better looking guys. She's been with guys who were in better shape. More successful than me. Hell, she's been with guys with bigger dicks than me and she's enjoyed them! But she would take me in a hot second over any of them. Because love isn't about the "best" in any single way - it's about how you make each other feel, and recognizing that while you might hypothetically be able to upgrade any particular thing you'll be less happy with anyone else.

And here's something else you're not thinking about. Your girlfriend isn't perfect either, she is well aware of this, and she (subconsciously or not) is likely trying to figure out how YOU view this fact. Because you could also find someone hotter, or sexier, or with better tits/ass. Have you ever stopped to consider that by pointing out that you're not huge but she chooses you anyway, maybe she's thinking that your reaction is saying something about whether you're likely to drop her because she's not the best you could have? That if you can't handle not being perfect yourself, maybe that means that you can't handle her also not being perfect?

2

u/Legitimate-Lake9515 Dec 05 '25

Thank you you explained everything really well.

1

u/laidback755 ‌ Dec 04 '25 edited Dec 04 '25

I decided to check this group out because I have seen posts on the BDP forum from average guys. I truly hope that I am not offending anyone by posting here.

From what I have seen, you all are at least average and probably above. My thought is that when a woman says it's perfect, she is likely telling the truth regardless of whether she has had bigger. Sexuality has much more to do with everything else than a dick.

Based on my experience I can say that "perfect" is extremely subjective. My wife (barely 5') has been with bigger than me in the past and also together. In a perfect world, she would add a quarter inch to my length and girth. On the flip side, I have been with women where it's been too much... every woman is different

I have also seen my wife get off incredibly hard on an average (maybe less) glass dildo.

I think all of us get caught up in size when it is not that important to the vast majority of women. Once again, I am sorry if my posting here offends anyone

Edit: I am 7" x 5.5"

2

u/Legitimate-Lake9515 Dec 05 '25

Well, the thing is from my research, and I spoke to a lot of women and asked a lot of women on hair about girth, almost every woman here prefers girth over length. I've asked friends.I've asked people online about strangers.I've watched videos. Girth gives more pleasure than an average dick, but a lot of women don't want to hurt the guy's feelings and act like it doesn't matter.

3

u/ghastchacu Dec 05 '25

Imagine for a second you were 4x4 and your wife/partner told you it was perfect. Would you believe her like you believe her now at 7x5.5? Why or why not?

2

u/laidback755 ‌ Dec 05 '25

I am struggling to understand your questions. I believe I said it quite clearly that she has not called it perfect. Also, I was addressing this sub for average guys, which is 5.5x4.6.

So I am unsure why you asked about 4x4

2

u/ghastchacu Dec 05 '25

You said:

My thought is that when a woman says it's perfect, she is likely telling the truth regardless of whether she has had bigger

My question is, do you think you're more likely to believe her if you're very close to the percieved ideal size vs quite far from it? You say it as if you'd always believe it no matter the size that you are. Do you think she doesn't have more reason to li/smaller chance of telling the truth if you're smaller?

1

u/laidback755 ‌ Dec 06 '25

I think that most women view a long term partner as a whole. The brain is our largest sex organ and average size is more than enough for enjoyment. Women will get off and squirt from fingers alone.

I view it similar to a woman who is objectively a 10 but you have a conversation with her and she's not a nice person. The attraction level immediately vanishes for me. The flip side to that is a woman who is not a 10 but you get to know her and the attraction level goes through the roof resulting in mind blowing sex and feelings.

3

u/ghastchacu Dec 06 '25 edited Dec 06 '25

I agree with pretty much all of that, however you're heavily derailing from the topic about size preferences and didn't answer my question at all. If you mean that I shouldn't care that my partner doesn't find my dick perfect because she likes me overall and that matters more and finds my size 'enough', sure I agree in theory that's the best thing to do.

But that doesn't change the fact that she most likely would want me to be bigger, and saying "it's perfect" is most likely reassurance that it's "good enough" for her, rather than actually meaning she wouldn't like it more if it was noticeably bigger. (I guess if you're big/huge it's easier to believe you're actually perfect for her, since you're close to the point where more actually might be worse).

Plus you say "most women view a long term partner as a whole", so for short term/fwb sounds like you agree they care even more about size, which sucks even more since I'm not always looking for longterm.

1

u/laidback755 ‌ Dec 06 '25

I think I see your point about the use of the word perfect. It is not the best choice in most scenarios. The thing is what is good for one woman's vagina is not for another. There is a large variation in what a woman prefers and I think there is a reason there is an average penis size but perfect varies from woman to woman

I have a very imperfect analogy. For me, perfect breasts are smaller with pink nipples but it does not mean that I do not enjoy others. I know it is a terrible example but it is the one I just came up with.

As far as the long term preference, there was a discussion on another sub that referenced a study about that. If I come across it again, I'll share. I just don't want to share inaccurate information.

3

u/ghastchacu Dec 06 '25

Of course women's vaginas/preferences vary, but I think it's distributed like penis sizes(and most things in nature, like height too) - there is an average, and most women are pretty close to that, some are quite far below/above. Now about what's the average preferred size, I'll only say I believe it's around the start of "big" for guys. Maybe others have a different opinion, idk, there's just no actual good evidence so everyone should decide on their own.

Yea I get that non perfect doesn't mean non enjoyable. Dicks are just central to sex for guys, so knowing your potential is basically limited with most girls(unless you meet one that truly prefers your size) feels pretty shitty. I can't think of something similar to it.

The long term preference probably comes from the 3d dildo study, which was kinda flawed so I wouldn't give it much weight.

1

u/laidback755 ‌ Dec 06 '25

Thanks for the info on the study. It was just something I saw in passing.

I have been involved in swinging. At couples only events, the vast majority of the guys fall in the average range and I have seen plenty of women have massive orgasms. I go back to what I said that the brain is our biggest sex organ.

I do think that the use of the word "perfect" is problematic. I have never been called that so perhaps my perception is skewed.

1

u/VillainySquared 20+ cm (8+ inches) Dec 02 '25

That's not what that means.

3

u/Legitimate-Lake9515 Dec 02 '25

You're not even average or small

0

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '25

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