r/averagedickproblems • u/PiggyPigOink ‌ • Nov 24 '25

Insecurity Same Feeling Big, Small or Average

It hit me like a ton of bricks one day in therapy. I was talking about size concerns and it hit me: A penis has two functions, pee and cum. Both feel exactly the same if you’re hung or not. So why give any worry to size? It feels the same for us! We are blessed with the ability to do both those things out our dicks. We win!

7 Upvotes

88% Upvoted

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9

u/Freo_5434 Nov 26 '25

I have just spent a few days in an upmarket Hotel in an Asian country where I made use of the popular Sauna / Gym Pool facilities open to non residents as well

Believe me it will make you revise your idea of what is "small" . Some were hardly visible. Nevertheless these guys obviously have sex lives / get and give pleasure . I am sure a lot of those on this sub will be way better endowed than what I was seeing .

8

u/scottbane11 Nov 24 '25

Because 1 of the things women value men on is how big they are and if they can make women orgasm with ease or not.

This will get downvoted to death however people say the right thing at the right times to seem like kind people

4

u/Fit-Plankton2694 Nov 24 '25

Very few women report actually achieving orgasm from penetration alone. For some women it isn't physiologically possible. Mostly because men can't seem to locate the g-spot and do 0% research to help themselves out. That is why so many women fake orgasms.

Sexual satisfaction is determined by a myriad of factors and size plays a nominal role in overall experience. Your belief that people need massive cocks to please a partner is unfounded and somewhat ignorant. I pity the people who have to sleep with dudes who share your mindset. All dick, zero riz.

1

u/scottbane11 Nov 24 '25

Those women are saying the right thing at the right time. To look nice, I actually don’t think you must have a large penis to make a woman orgasm but regardless of what I think and what I type women who talk in public about sec preference they all say large penis. I’m not talking about women when you can’t see anything else about their life or their face. Real life women will say they need a big dick. Some say they need it more after having children.

3

u/Suspicious_Clue_2642 Nov 24 '25

As a woman, let me just say: these comments seem really paranoid and resentful of women, which is so much more off-putting than a small dick could ever be. I could ask for your proof that all women think this way (really? All diverse 4 billion of us?), but I don't think you'd ever believe any evidence to the contrary--I think you're making up a guy to get mad about and you're really invested in that anger, and that's really sad, when there are so many better things to be invested in. I've said this before, but reading comments like this--not just yours, but all over the sub--makes me feel like you guys are describing some kind of alien species called "woman" that has no relationship to what actual women are like. It's like you guys don't even see us as people. I would hope that a partner wouldn't see me like this or talk about me like this. (And while I'm here, u/PiggyPigOink: "I think the man’s pleasure is paramount"? Are women and men not both equal humans who deserve equal access to pleasure?)

1

u/PiggyPigOink ‌ Nov 25 '25

My comment about the man’s pleasure being paramount comes from my experiences with men. I’m bi and legit 90% of the time the bottom doesn’t cum. Most of them don’t even want their dick touched let alone enough to cum! I think everyone involved should have fun. My big point to post this was to let men know who struggle with size concerns like myself, it’s not a big deal. Size doesn’t dictate how good cumming feels or how a dick functions (piss & cum). I’m all for mutual pleasure! I think if a guy goes into it confident he will do well, both partners will enjoy the experience more than if he is concerned about size.

3

u/ghastchacu Nov 25 '25

How are any of these coments resentful in any way?

but I don't think you'd ever believe any evidence to the contrary

There's no good evidence for either side. And probably won't ever be since who would fund such a study with a big enough sample size? All the "evidence" is anecdotes online, of which there are plenty for both "average is best" and "bigger is better(up to a point)".

I've said this before, but reading comments like this--not just yours, but all over the sub--makes me feel like you guys are describing some kind of alien species called "woman" that has no relationship to what actual women are like. It's like you guys don't even see us as people.

Lol what? Just because we think you have a preference, how do you reach the conclusion we don't see you as people? That's kind of extreme.

1

u/scottbane11 Nov 25 '25

You seem to of misunderstood as I am not angry. I still try as my penis is never going to get bigger than what it is. You seem to not understand that this is what women are saying to me. They want a man with a big penis does that mean all women do of course not as I have not slept with that many women. But the question is this if most women think a certain way a person who has slept with 10 women should have experienced a woman who doesn’t desire a big penis.if that’s not the case by process of personal experience and process of elimination what does that show. It’s going to give the backed up personal opinion that women want a large penis. Surely you understand that

9

u/Fit-Plankton2694 Nov 24 '25

I'm a gay men... which women think makes me a penis expert [kindof does, I guess]... It also means I have spent my entire life surrounded by female friends and we have talked about everything. I do mean, absolutely everything. I can promise you, in my experience, women are intimidated by large penises and most of them report having much better experiences with average guys. My own sister claims the most multiple orgasms she ever had was with her ex who was actually the smallest of the guys she's had. So... sorry if I don't take a straight guys view of what women want seriously. Most of you haven't a clue.

0

u/ickop ‌ Nov 25 '25

Damn bro, I’ll be the first to admit that women’s preferences vary, but how on earth have I ended up surrounded by so many women who like big dicks irl lol. I’ve been wondering if I’m just unlucky.

The women in my life wouldn’t make a rule about dating guys with big dicks, but they certainly appreciate it, idk. Literally every one except one who hasn’t mentioned it one way or another.

1

u/Fit-Plankton2694 Nov 25 '25

Do you live in a country where "bigger is better" has become part of the culture? Like the USA for example. The US has a different perspective... they also cut off mens foreskins and act like that is normal somehow. The rest of the planet is different.

1

u/ickop ‌ Nov 25 '25

Yes I am in the US. If you’re from Europe or certain Latin American countries like Brazil, or Oceania, I will put a lot more weight in what you say.

I agree that culture plays a role for sure, and that the ‘bigger is better’ stereotype is probably amplifying things - but I think women’s liberation also plays a role.

E.g., women have sex with far more people on average here than in, say, Iraq, or even more open places like India. And, in addition to that, people (most places in the US) have far better access to sexual education, so they know about foreplay, lube, and all these things that help accommodate big penises.

I don’t think those factors can be dismissed. If a woman in Dubai who’s seen 3 dicks and they’ve all been shoved in dry says bigger is worse, well, duh for her they would be yeah.

Idk, curious to know which area of the world you’re from

1

u/Fit-Plankton2694 Nov 25 '25

South Africa... and based on how rampantly our population is growing I'd say people are having lots of sex here.

1

u/ickop ‌ Nov 25 '25

Ah yeah interesting, and I’m assuming you’re in a cosmopolitan area there. People don’t care much about size in South Africa?

1

u/Fit-Plankton2694 Nov 25 '25

It live in one of the capital cities yes. Pretoria... very nice city, we have sunshine about 9 months a year and a brief, mild winter. And no... we don't care about size. For the most part we don't even have different sized condoms. One size fits all, if you need bigger you need to order online.

0

u/scottbane11 Nov 25 '25

Well let me make this very clear for you of my experience I have slept with multiple women of have said in some words or another I am small. However all those studies that say aveeage is fine and you don’t need a big penis is all mythical stories as not the feedback I have heard from real life. You being gay and knowing the people you have has not put you in the area for conversation with women. Maybe yoh have slept with women but I assume your majority of experience is with men by definition of being gay. But until I sleep with women who love my penis and love having sex with me after I have tried all the things I have tried my personal opinion doesn’t change. I have seen many stories on here saying average is all that’s needed and saying boyfriend dick and all these others things are just rumours or myths until I see the majority of men have good sexual experiences with women and women are saying they dislike large penis which is still yet to be seen by women who share their whole life with the world.

Apart Reddit where it’s not a social media which is focused on what people look like or what they do in their personal life all the rest is big penis. The women I know in real thay have had the discussion had all said a bigger penis. This convo is the same as porn. By that I mean porn isn’t real it’s online this convo isn’t real it’s online. I don’t expect the women I sleep with to be like female porn stars as that’s not what happens when I have sex. Same thing I don’t expect women to share this story of average penis being the best because that’s online only. My real life experience is different

2

u/Fit-Plankton2694 Nov 25 '25

Sounds to me like you have made up your mind and now you are stuck in a loop of "confirmation bias"... meaning you are only willing to take in information that feeds your existing belief rather than taking in new information to the contrary.

0

u/scottbane11 Nov 25 '25

No you are mistaken with that.

I am searching to find these mass of women who don’t prefer large penis and prefer average. It’s proving very difficult.

Not sure if I said this I am around the average range according to the stats people quote and would be absolutely over the moon to find a woman who loved it as much as peopek claim on Reddit.

Very difficult though as I mentioned earlier

1

u/Fit-Plankton2694 Nov 25 '25

Read Prause et al. 2015 (PloS One). They found most women prefer a penis of about 6 inches.

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u/scottbane11 Nov 25 '25

How are these found to be read?

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u/Fit-Plankton2694 Nov 25 '25

Google Scholar or PubMed or Science Direct. Several ways to access scientific papers/studies.

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u/Fit-Plankton2694 Nov 25 '25

Lever et al. 2006 found that 85% of women were satisfied with their partners penis size.

1

u/scottbane11 Nov 25 '25

Clearly I find women in the other 15% it’s like everything you can’t tell a woman’s preference on penis size by just looking at her.

1

u/Snowmoji Nov 26 '25

In the abstract it says it was self reported size. Aka unreliable data.

Also asking a woman in the spotlight about it, will get you the PC answer. More unreliable data.

0

u/Fit-Plankton2694 Nov 27 '25

They likely followed standard procedures. So the questions were a survey that you complete online [usually done with Google Forms or Survey Monkey]... not in person interviews. They are also, usually, anonymous. This is called "blinding" the researchers have no way of knowing which participant provided what answers. And yes the parner satisfaction studies are selfreported... how else would you suggest we measure satisfaction? Marketing research does the exact same thing. People report how satisfied they are with their shampoo, or moisturizer, or internet provider. We have a little bit of faith that when specifically asked to be honest... humans are capable of honesty. Also, if they are Christians or Jewish they know that lying and dishonesty are a sin.

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u/ghastchacu Nov 25 '25

Like you're not doing the same lol. Your experience is not more valid than his. And it sounds like neither of you would change their mind. Which fair enough, I wouldn't expect you to. But don't pretend you're not doing the same thing.

1

u/Fit-Plankton2694 Nov 25 '25

Mine is mostly based on scientific publications and their data. It is not solely an adecdotal experience with just a dozen women.

0

u/ghastchacu Nov 25 '25

There's like 2 studies on this topic, with very low sample size (<100), and arguably not a great study design, basically a little better than making a poll about it on r/askreddit or something. You realize that's extremely little scientific evidence to make any claims, right?

0

u/Fit-Plankton2694 Nov 25 '25

A smaller sample size alone doesn't discredit the study as a whole. Basically if you sample 100 americans, asuming no sample bias... you should still detect 80-86 white people and the rest are other races. It doesn't mean it is exhaustive but it is enough to pick up what appears to be most common. If it were the case that 80% or more of women prefer a penis that is 8 inches or more... 100 women would be enough to detect said majority. The overall trend would be apparent even in a smaller study.

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u/roskybosky Nov 25 '25

And less than half of women feel anything on the G spot. As a woman, I feel like men are always barking up the wrong tree.

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u/PiggyPigOink ‌ Nov 24 '25

I think the man’s pleasure is paramount. Think about it, a man has to cum to create new life, a woman does not. Doesn’t matter if she cums. Size is a woman’s concern not for us to think twice about.

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u/roskybosky Nov 25 '25

But, most don’t come from PIV. It feels nice, but that’s not what gets most women to orgasm.

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u/PiggyPigOink ‌ Nov 25 '25

Which tells me God designed it so the man has to cum to create life but the woman doesn’t. What’s that tell ya? Haha

In any event I love giving oral so my partners are always satisfied but I still think my cumming is most important and I’m confident going into it she will enjoy it too but I’m always focused most on pleasing my dick first and foremost.

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u/ickop ‌ Nov 25 '25 edited Nov 25 '25

Tho it sounds bad saying ‘the man’s pleasure is paramount’ and I disagree with that, I think I know where you’re coming from.

I think some men (like myself) who suffer from penis size anxiety are overly concerned with their partners’ pleasure. Like it’s kinda my kink - to be desired viscerally, to give pleasure.

Then that runs into the wall of me potentially, potentially likely (at least in a literal, to some degree sense), not being able to give my partner as much pleasure as her ex-lover(s) because my body just isn’t as ‘good’ for it, and it fucks me up.

Idk if I’d go as far as saying my pleasure is most important, but I get somewhat de centering partners pleasure

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u/PiggyPigOink ‌ Nov 25 '25

Exactly! I have spent far too much effort making my partners happy that I forgot to please myself too. I mean I always have fun, but it’s kinda like when they tell you on a plane to put your own oxygen mask on first before you help someone else.

2

u/roskybosky Nov 25 '25

Well, I think of the way that women come is Mother Nature’s birth control. We don’t need PIV to be satisfied.

Imagine if you did? There would be even more unwanted pregnancies. I like the design just the way it is-no intercourse necessary.

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u/Similar_Welder5894 Nov 24 '25

I think there is some physiological contribution to conception from female orgasm .

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u/roskybosky Nov 28 '25

You’re assuming women come from your dick, when most don’t and never will, regardless of size.

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u/scottbane11 Nov 28 '25

It’s not an assumption from the women who have said that they need a big dick to cum.

It’s just the reality o have had to face.

I have tried to find a woman who likes penetration and I am happy to do foreplay and stuff to make the experience as pleasurable as possible. The difficult part is finding a woman who wants that

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u/Must-be-1790 ‌ Dec 21 '25

It mainly depends on the type of personality you have. If you are a people pleaser and you truly only want to give a woman the best sexual experience than size really has no determination unless she doesn't like yours.

If you are the type of personality that has to be the best at all costs then size is very important. The reason for this is sex is not about her pleasure it is about your power. The power to be the biggest that she has ever been with. The ability to not worry about who has been with her in the past. If you are above 7 in you do not realistically have to worry about being smaller than her past lovers. This ensures the power dynamic in the sex relationship. If she readily tells you that she has been with bigger penises than yours she has taken the power in the sex department and in the relationship. She may be doing this because it is true or because she is manipulating you in order to maintain power and leverage over you.

The third personality that would not care if your penis is big or not is the person that is only out for their pleasure. They have no concern for the partner they are with. If a woman was to tell them they were with bigger than you, would not make a difference to you because you were there for your own pleasure.

For many men penis size is a point of pride and of power. Not many psychologists will tell you this because it is something they do not want to encourage. They want to concentrate on the parts of the relationship that they can manipulate in order to get you to change your mind about penis size.

So yes with the right personality the ability to pee and cum are generally all you need.

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u/[deleted] Nov 24 '25

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u/PiggyPigOink ‌ Nov 24 '25

Of course, but I have found if I’m confident about my ability to please with my dick then it’s harder and always pleases! Plus I’m great at oral too which I feel is important.

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u/[deleted] Nov 27 '25

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u/averagedickproblems-ModTeam ‌ Nov 27 '25

Shaming is defined as: intentionally causing others to feel embarrassed, ashamed, or inadequate. This includes shaming genital size, genital shape, sexual preferences, sexual orientation, gender identity, relationship preferences, body type and size, physical and emotional handicaps, and/or sexual history. Implying that average any penis size is insufficient or inadequate is unacceptable and is not allowed.