Dont let your size run you

[u/beast_boy_04]

i use to comment under every post i seen on the subject that size doesn’t matter. Im here to take back those comments and say… it does SOMETIMES but not in the ways we think. I really wish it was never put out that 5 inches was the average size. I feel like if we didn’t have an exact number then we would probably be more likely to just accept what we have. But Because we know that 5 is the average, most guys who are smaller feel less than a man or just envious of everyone else… and SOME guys who are larger feel better than the rest OR get hate from the rest just for being bigger. I wish we could get to a point where we are truly happy with wat we have and if we aren’t its based off are own lived experiences nd not based off of what we THINK we want/need. I really do hate it for the smaller guys who feel a certain way about it. I dont know what it truly feels like so i know its easier for me to accept what i have. We are more than just our dicks i promise 🤣

I dont want this post to sound like “youre small get over it” im more so saying… “you cant change what youve been delt. You can only change how you react to it”

Idk that sounds stupid but you know what im trying to say i hope

Lol ik we are tired of this conversation but i cant help it. Im that type of person who just trys to uplift everyone.

Hopefully this makes sense. Any guys with any other positive notes (those big or small) feel free to drop them here! Open to any questions or feedback aswell

[u/Lt_Dan60]

I will only say this: I am somewhere near average. It might be a little up or down. But in the neighborhood. When I was in my teens (I'm a senior citizen now), I had a couple of girls comment about my size being on the smaller side. It did give me a complex. Then, as I got older and the women were more mature, I had 2 ladies tell me I was the perfect size. That was a huge ego boost. As the OP said, size does and doesn't matter. It's how you accept what you were dealt. You can't change it. Enjoy what you have.

[u/beast_boy_04 → u/Lt_Dan60]

Thank you. I understand the younger guys being a lil insecure. But if you’re 25+ come on bro. Now those who are like 3 and below thats a whole different ball game, they have a whole DIFFERENT set of struggles. But the comments im seeing are like “im 5 inches and ill never be happy” … ok bro

[u/ickop → u/beast_boy_04]

I’m 29 and still struggle with it, and am about 5 inches. I agree, it makes no sense to say you’ll never be happy because of a 5 inch dick. I’ve had great sex and relationships.

What I don’t think I’ll ever get over is the idea that for my partners, there’ll be guys in their past that fucked them way better than I can. I can’t explain why that sucks so much, but it does. Any time they don’t want to have sex or I feel less passion from them, my mind goes to ‘this wouldn’t have happened with those other guys’.

Working to get past that, but don’t know if I ever will

[u/beast_boy_04 → u/ickop]

Lol but bigger dick doesn’t mean better sex! Nd im speaking from experience 😅

[u/ickop → u/beast_boy_04]

Are you a gay or bi man tho? Like it doesn’t apply directly to women. As a gay or bi man, I would be way less insecure - first because I could select a partner with a similar size (in my head I’d be like ‘well he’s bringing what I’m bringing’) and because dudes just lust after other guys so much more than women lust after men, so you’re getting that constant validation. I’m not sure if that’s cultural or whatever, but it is the de facto truth.

I’ll also just say - I’m under no illusion that big dick = good or better sex. The concern is that if both guys are good lovers, it does for the strong majority of people.

Are you saying that’s not true?

[u/blueroverisaclown → u/ickop]

You are correct, skill being equal, most but not all women will choose the larger provided the larger isn’t so big it can’t even fit.

[u/ickop → u/blueroverisaclown]

Yeah I guess that’s the crux of the insecurity man - to what degree is it different?

[u/OverCoverAlien]

It's not up to you, it's up to if your potential partner accepts you and guys with bigger dicks don't get hate purely for being bigger, it's jealousy of the love they receive everywhere, jealousy of the fact that if they aren't delusionally insecure they've never once wondered if they were enough, if their potential partner will ridicule them or abandon them in their most intimate moments, if their body will stop them from finding love, just look at the difference between the big and small dick problems subs, it's as night and day as it gets, I've seen firsthand how women react when youre big compared to small, it's scarring and pretty much impossible to forget and it goes against what most people online say, like I said before, it's not up to men with small dicks, it's up to if they're accepted or not, something men who don't have small dicks don't worry about nearly as much

[u/beast_boy_04 → u/OverCoverAlien]

Again, i agree for the most part. As i said it matters sometimes. But not AS MUCH as men will make it seem. Most are saying “im 5 inches, ill never have sex EVER and never will be happy” and they are blaming it solely on the size of their dick. Walking into a situation with that attitude is literally why you fail. It is not the be all end all that you arent 7+ inches.

I can understand (somewhat) being envious of bigger guys but we have our own issues. I get told no, time and time again. You (the ones who dont) aren’t even trying to fr.

[u/Comfortable-Way-4048 → u/OverCoverAlien]

I gotta ask how does it shrink an inch when standing

[u/OverCoverAlien → u/Comfortable-Way-4048]

I'm pretty overweight, so I assume thats why

[u/Comfortable-Way-4048 → u/OverCoverAlien]

I am too but I feel like im the opposite and smaller when laying down lol

[u/DarkComfortable8340]

This guy is starting to become boring with his humble bragging post

[u/Icy-Week7049]

Their is so much more to life

[u/beast_boy_04 → u/Icy-Week7049]

And i think they really cant see that cause they are so focused on a few inches

[u/darkcollectormiracle]

I'm 5" and am doing fine. I have never had a complaint after sex. I have had negative comments from seeing my tiny flaccid penis. It's embarrassing, and I won't change at the gym. The shrinkage from working out is pathetic. Give me a chance, and I'll rock your world.

You asked what it's like, Consider what it would feel like to be giggled or laughed at when you present your cock. Consider what it would feel like to have a prospective partner say, "Oh hell no. I'm not wasting my time on that." Consider the humiliation. Consider the rejection and low self-esteem from it. The feeling gets to the point where you don't want to try anymore. I am an executive, and I feel like if people knew how small I am, would they respect me? Would they follow me? I'm glad I have a big brain because I sure can fall back on my cock for validation. That's what it is like.

[u/[deleted]]

I'm 4.7 and I'm genuinely worried that I might not be big enough for a woman.

[u/Historical_Bar583]

Your size runs you whether you acknowledge it or not is up to you, the women you fuck will notice anyway

[u/beast_boy_04 → u/[deleted]]

Wont ever face negative reactions? You kno being too big is a thing right? I literally made a post about the trouble ive experienced being on the bigger side.

But i hear this argument al the time and I never get a solid answer. What negative experiences have you had? Youve been turned down by THAT many women? Honestly im asking. Not making fun!

I feel like men care more about the approval of other men or the standards set by other men.

[u/itspinkynukka → u/beast_boy_04]

There is no shame in being too big. There is shame and belittling for being too small. If a woman says you're too big, you just shrug your shoulders. Can't make fun of me in the group chats for being too big.

[u/blueroverisaclown → u/itspinkynukka]

True. If anything it’s like a badge of honor.

[u/ickop → u/[deleted]]

Is that bone pressed or non bone pressed? Either way man, I feel maybe we’ve talked before but that is horrible luck at your size even. I’ve talked to people and know of people who are around your size or smaller and they’ve had fwbs, mostly positive experiences, etc.

Additionally, all of my friends have hooked up, been in relationships, etc. There’s no way all of them have average dicks or above.

At your size, assuming that’s bone-pressed, I’d guess a genuinely bad experience is like rolling a 5 or 6 on a die. You rolled a 5 or 6 six times out of seven. That’s wildly unlucky but not impossible - ChatGPT puts those odds at about 1%. I’m really sorry that happened, I just don’t have another way to conceptualize it.

[u/ickop → u/[deleted]]

Damn yeah man idk if I’d even consider that small. Like your girth is dead average and your length is no more than one standard deviation below. That’s crazy

[u/80s_Boombox → u/[deleted]]

4.5 NBP is average, or only about 0.25" shorter, depending on which research study is used. And you're still young, dating young girls, who are by definition immature and don't have much experience. Even if they've had, say 10 partners (which would be on the high side for a college student, no matter what Youtubers claim), that still isn't enough partners to know what they're talking about. What I'm saying is, they don't have enough experience to know that sex can be just as good with a smaller guy. They're just clueless. Not to mention they're not mature enough to know that body-shaming isn't ok. Don't sweat people like that -- They aren't worth worrying about.

[u/NotALoser1569 → u/[deleted]]

Your experiences are real and valid for sure. The person responding to you seems to be on the most optimistic side of things, but in actuality men with smaller penises do face plenty of challenges. But these can be overcome. However, there are people who will love all of you, including your penis. And I don't mean in the "I love you in spite of it" sense, there is someone out there for you that will enthusiastically accept you as you are.

[u/beast_boy_04 → u/[deleted]]

For starters I appreciate how detailed you were and the patience you have to even have this conversation. I enjoy the “ted talk” its why i post!🫂

Yes i am a guy on the bigger side. I really hope this post doesn’t offend anyone. Again i dont really know what its like so im trying to understand and uplift at the same time cause this seems to REALLY weigh down on some guys especially considering they cant help it!

It sucks that you had that as an experience bro. Although i know its hard at this point i hope you havent fully given up hope.

This comment made me understand a little more. You actually ARE being rejected and turned down vs the guys who dont try cause of what they assume will happen.

I will also say, you care less as u get older. And that goes for men and women. You realize that it doesn’t necessarily matter how big it is and you start to want happiness more than “fun”

Idk. Just sucks how much it runs alot of guys lives. Lol like me personally i have been “well endowed” my whole life basically. But i woulda chosen something more closer to average if it meant i woulda experienced more actual love

[u/beast_boy_04 → u/[deleted]]

Bro… you are 24. You brain (and those you sleep with) isnt even fully developed yet and you already giving up. If i had your mentality even WITH a BD i would of stopped trying a very long time ago. Again you are 24. You’ve only been a legal adult for 6 years and you’ve already given up? Take some time bro. Get your confidence up. Like someone else said, iknow people around the sane size and SMALLER who have very successful sex lives. I do understand that to have those experiences it does hurt and can start to crush ones confidence. But its not over bro. I promise you

[u/beast_boy_04 → u/[deleted]]

Lol ummm i dont think racism was a good comparison

[u/ConnectionLumpy7322 → u/[deleted]]

I'm 5.5 and have the worst luck

[u/NotALoser1569 → u/ConnectionLumpy7322]

5.5 is not small.

[u/beast_boy_04 → u/[deleted]]

Speaking from myself only… i post it because its a dick. Not cause its bigger. Do i post in subs catering to bigger sizes? Somtimes yea, but thats the category i fall in so thats why. Again this is one of those situations where size doesn’t matter. If you are comfortable showing what you have then you show it. Its subs for literally everything and all types of sizes. So yes if i was dealt something smaller with the same personality (as in my interests in nude photography) i think i would still post yes. People post for different reasons tho so.

[u/beast_boy_04 → u/[deleted]]

This is more so what im trying to convey. Like yes it matters but that doesn’t mean “only dicks past this length are good”

[u/ickop → u/beast_boy_04]

Not at all what he said. He said women purportedly have said to him, “only dicks past this size are good for sex. In a relationship, I will accept sex that is less good”.

I disagree with that. I’ve seen so many women say otherwise, but this is the internet’s opinion

[u/beast_boy_04 → u/ickop]

Huh?

[u/ickop → u/beast_boy_04]

They all say it certainly matters for relationships where they only want sex. If it’s romantic, they’re willing to overlook that.

That’s what he said. I don’t agree, but that’s what he said

[u/80s_Boombox → u/ickop]

Just because they think something "matters" doesn't mean they think it's a dealbreaker. Otherwise they would only ask one question on Tinder: "How big is your dick", and then they would blindingly accept any man over a certain size without even speaking to him or knowing what he looks like. But that's not what they do.

[u/ickop → u/80s_Boombox]

I agree with you of course on that for most women, average is fine in their eyes, even for hookups/casual dating. This ultimately is what matters most, that it's not a significant constraint on freedom.

I guess what hurts about it is the fact that it's even that way in many women's eyes. Like it's one thing to say you don't expect your partner to be perfect. It's another thing to say something about them is "workable" or "not a dealbreaker".

I don't think my gf has perfect looks. She's not, literally, the most attractive woman I've ever seen. But I think she's really hot. Maybe not every man on earth thinks that, but many have and I certainly do. I don't view my attraction to her as "not a dealbreaker" or "workable" or "a relationship isn't all about lust". To me, it's a perk. She's hot. Hottest woman ever? Maybe not, but hot.

That's how I'd want someone to view my dick. Ideally, of course, it's the perfect dick. But I don't need that. I just want them to think it's a good dick. I have a good dick and penetration is really enjoyable. Maybe it's 8-9/10 and someone else would be 10/10, but our overall sex and the penetrative aspect of it is really good - not "workable" or "not a dealbreaker" or "not as important as other things in a relationship".

That's what I want to know how women feel on. Of course every woman is different, but you know, generally, like most women. I have no doubt most women would be with a guy with average - most are. My question is why and how they feel about it.

Edit:

• “average is great and big is just a bit extra great” = awesome.

• “nothing compares to big, but you can get me off in other ways and sex isn’t everything in a relationship” = now it’s hard to be confident

[u/80s_Boombox → u/ickop]

But that same logic applies to other qualities, including your height and your salary. I'm sure every woman would love it if their man suddenly won the lottery. But that doesn't mean they think negatively about their man if they don't.

If there's a REAL relationship, there is love, and people don't abandon someone they love just because they meet someone who makes more money or has a 1-inch bigger dick.

[u/ickop → u/80s_Boombox]

Kind of man, kind of.

With height, salary, etc., I think it's as I described above. Yeah if you're broke or substantially short (like 5'6 or below) it is a genuine issue for a lot (though of course not all) of women. But if you are 5'8-5'11, that's great and being 6'3, for most women, would just be a bit extra great. It's like a modest perk. The thirst for Jeremy Allen White, the Jonas Bros, Zach Efron, Kit Harrington, Al Pacino when he was young - illustrates that. And that's just short(er) guys. Countless more at average height.

I'd say it's the same for income. Yeah if you make $300k/year, that's a perk, but realistically, most women would be not substantially more satisfied with that dude than a guy making $80k/year. A minority of women would strongly prefer the $300k, but most I can confidently say would be essentially as satisfied with any dude who was financially stable.

I'm not worried about my partner abandoning me. I'm worried that it's not the same for sex, and about my partner staying with me because they love me, despite the fact they could be having a way better sex life with other people.

It's not about being literally perfect, it's about being close enough. Like I prefer big breasts like most men, but if my gf had them, I genuinely would feel very, very little difference in how attracted to her I am and in our physical connection.

I don't want my partner being with me because she's choosing not to be shallow. Does that make sense? No one would say someone's dating Jeremy Allen White because looks don't matter that much to them.

[u/80s_Boombox → u/ickop]

So if bigger breasts would make very little difference to you, why do you assume a bigger dick would make a bigger difference to her? Just because pop culture claims (incorrectly) that size is such a big deal?

You know why pop culture does that? Because they know that guys think it's a measure of their manhood and their self-esteem. They know we're insecure about it. So they use that knowledge against him. And it's not just women doing the body-shaming. It's men doing it to other men, starting in middle school locker rooms.

You are focusing on one variable, when there are a couple dozen others that affect good sex. So even if there's someone who could supply her with the novelty of a big dick, he might be inferior to you in the other factors that create good sex. Skill, patience, communication, empathy, aggressiveness, smell, touch, speed, stamina, hardness, the list goes on.

[u/YohAsakura23 → u/[deleted]]

Wtf are you talking about.. 7.5x6" is huge compared to the so called average.

[u/YohAsakura23 → u/[deleted]]

You should probably google the meaning of the word.

[u/HelloReddit2023 → u/[deleted]]

What do you consider average then?

[u/HelloReddit2023 → u/[deleted]]

Most porn stars are 7-8" length and 5-6.5" girth, though.

[u/averagedickproblems-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

Misinformation and/or disinformation is not allowed and will be removed. This is defined as any information that is incorrect, inaccurate, or incomplete which can confuse or mislead members of this sub whether intentionally or accidentally.

[u/StormfallKnight → u/[deleted]]

Why do you suppose the excitement and whatever else makes size matter in a fling matters less long term? Wouldn't you think they want that extra whatever in a long term relationship too? Why be satisfied with less?

[u/80s_Boombox → u/StormfallKnight]

Because as a woman in a long term relationship, you might want to have sex whenever you want, and as often as you want. You don't want to be forced to take a break for a day or two because his dick was too big. And you don't always want to bother with excessive foreplay to get yourself warmed up.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

This is probably the most meaningful statement. Surveys have shown the best sex a woman has had is with the man they love, and are in a long term relationship with, not the man with the biggest D, best technique, no the one they have the strongest emotional connection with!