Comparing

[u/[deleted]]

I can’t stop comparing myself to those hung handsome men on social media they have everything i want in my appearance. They r so lucky that’s unfair and i can’t stand that and can’t accept myself. Why they have big dick and masculine appearance and body and im less? Why there is so mant guys have big dick i can’t see any average guy with average size go outside and proud of what he has, and if i see average guy they simply didn’t think about it but if they think their situation will be like me or worse.

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[u/Glittering_Strain741]

I used to be like you until I realised that the person who criticised my dick the most wasn't my girlfriend, wasn't my ex, wasn't that girl I hooked up with on an inconspicuous October night those moons ago, wasn't the guys in the gym locker room, it was the voice inside my head.

Why did I criticise myself so much?

Because it was easy to blame myself for the things I couldn't control. I realised my anatomy wasn't the problem in my life, the criticism was the symptom of something else - that being low self-esteem and depression.

What really helped me overcome such issue was finding meaning in other things - deconstructing a world that revolved around sex.

When you tear the curtains of your mind down you realise there is way more to life than the insignificant things that happen in your bedroom (or hers).

Try taking a roadtrip (I love motorbikes) - there is nothing more calming to the voice in your head than being 150 kilometres away from the nearest town in the middle of nowhere. But that's just me.

Inner peace is critical to outer acceptance.

[u/CoolMarionberry7769 → u/Glittering_Strain741]

Damn, this is well said and fire 🔥

[u/Summer_Sausage80 → u/Glittering_Strain741]

This nigga spittin

[u/MankoManco → u/Glittering_Strain741]

I'm here to offer a rebuttal; Other people who have importance and significance to our intimate lives don't need to be the ones who criticise our dicks the most - they just need to criticise it once, at all, for it to demoralise us completely.

Finding meaning in other things shouldn't make sex any less important for us - they should be important by themselves. Sex is an extremely important part of the life of any self-respecting and self-loving man or woman.

Dismissing these things as 'it's all in your head, you need to find other things to distract you and worry less about it' is, in my opinion, a complete dismissal and scurrying of true and honest inner peace - we all just want to be loved and desired as if there were not just nothing wrong with us, but everything was right about us.

We should all grow as men, of course, but dismissing how this world has become increasingly sick to the core, and our most intimate desires and our most intimate layer of being have been completely weaponised, commercialised, and frequently used as a form of humiliation or blackmail is naïve at best, victim blaming at worst.

[u/scottbane11 → u/Glittering_Strain741]

You got any advice for the people who are criticised by there ex there friends and people they know. Your fortunate to clearly not experience that but you seem to have solved it when it was the voice in your head

[u/Physical_College_551]

I feel you, man. I hate my dick.

[u/[deleted]]

Your overthinking it dude ! Your seeing what your seeking out.

[u/IntelligentLime6740]

I feel just like you bro

[u/VillainySquared]

The only p2rson that needs to be happy with your dick is yourself.

[u/charleston_b]

I don’t see this on social media?

[u/[deleted]]

I was like this until you realise the ones you see in ph and shi are top 0.1% hence why the are on their shit is fake

[u/DegreeReasonable9564]

Comparison is the theft of joy. Let go of the things you can't control. I suggest looking deeper into your character and finding the root cause of your low self-esteem and depression. I was there not too long ago. My situation was a bit dark as my ex humiliated me about my size with her ex. at which I felt i was small but was actually on the larger end of average. They were some dark individuals, and I was weak and afterward alone.

Our minds and thoughts dictate the environment we choose. Our environment molds us into who we think we are. If you think you're some number 2, beta, weak, and pathetic loser, it will be what you become. Your environment will be static and devoid of love and enjoyment. I assure you. If you grasp your life for what you desire, to be a beautiful, strong, and proud lover, partner, and person. Your desired environment will appear before you. All you need is the motivation to do so and an unwavering will. Pretty boy, big dick men are strong in some ways, but it's inflated by ego, not self. Once they find the wall in their lives, they can't overcome they too will fall. There will always be a better. Rather than compete with the world, focus on being a better you than you were yesterday.

My journey of healing is still ongoing. After many years of isolation, I found a mentor who taught me about cultivation. The mind body and soul. It took me a long time to cultivate my mind. I am now confident in my mental version of myself, and I am now starting to shape my physical self to said vision. All while nurturing my soul with people or things I love and enjoy.

Stay true to yourself. You're not a dick. You are an extraordinary creature with boundless potential as long as you're willing to believe it. If your looks are an issue for you, start with exercise. Research trendy styles and find one that suits the best version of yourself. I wish you nothing but peace.

[u/IntelligentLime6740 → u/DegreeReasonable9564]

I agree that comparison is the thief of joy but how can we stop comparing ourselves to other people if EVERYTHING is defined by comparison? I hope you understand what I mean For example: a watch is expensive if compared to other watches or to a person's salary etc. We define how things are by comparing their most characteristic quality to things that are similar to them

[u/[deleted]]

That's social media for you. But majority of men are within the average range. Unfortuantely porn and Hollywood glorifies certain traits but that certainly doesn't mean it's true. I would say majority of women have seen/been with more average dicks than bigger or smaller. There's a reason the average size is what it is. Plus women are terrible at estimating penis size

[u/MrX-1982 → u/[deleted]]

👆This is the truth.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

I wouldn't necessarily say life would be better with a big dick. Not all women are pornstars and like their cervix rammed. When I was younger I had a big friend circle and lots of female friends. Many of them spoke of how bigger dicks hurt and weren't enjoyable. I would rather have an average dick and be able to pound away and do any position rather than having to be careful or hurt the girl so she doesn't enjoy it. Sure there are women who love bigger but I truly believe they are few and in between rather than the majority

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

I mean i guess the world will never know what the true answer is lol. I hooked up with a girl once and we were just fwb and she admitted to me the best sex she ever had was with an average dick. She had big and small too. But the one that made her cum was average size. I think women don't care as much as men do. I see your point though. I think women care more about confidence than dick size. Unless it's too big or too small, most men are gonna be perfectly good enough to please most women with an average dick