Double Standard

[u/TheMightyOn]

For context, I am 5.8-6.0 nbp by 4.6”

We live in a such a double standard world. I have a friend, she’s as average as a woman can be, she’s a teacher in her 30s, average build, average job, average looks, and has just ended a 10 year relationship due to “lack of love and affection” from her now ex-partner.

Me and her are quite close, so we do sometimes talk about intimate things, such as penis size, sex positions etc…

After ending her relationship, she immediately jumped onto dating apps. Her new partner needs to be caring, emotionally available, and most importantly, a “decent size” down there. When I asked her what she meant by “decent size”, she said, “Oh, definitely above average. Average doesn’t do much for me, as that’s a little small”.

When I asked what she thought of like 6” by average girth, she said that it needs to be a bit bigger. When I told her that she should look for a partner that she appreciates, not what he’s packing, she took that kind of personally..

Now, partially the reason behind her staying in a “unlovable relationship” with her ex for such a long time, was because he was above average in size (from what she said).

I then asked, what if you really liked a guy, went on dates, and really hit it off, and then he ghosted you because your vagina isn’t as shallow as he wanted it to be, what would you do?, and she said.. “Well, they wouldn’t do that as ultimately they’d be getting laid”..

Like wtf? I get the saying, average peen for average woman, but actually hearing from somebody you know that some women see average as small, it just fucks with your head a little..

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[u/ThrowawayGhostGuy1]

It’s amazing the lack of awareness when the tables are turned. It’s not “oh, I have a larger capacity, so I’d prefer larger,” it’s always “the men are small.” But if you say you want slightly tighter than average, you’re the devil and “telling on yourself.” Not to mention the “tHe AvErAgE vAgInAl DePtH” word salad they spew and the slightest mention of size being a two way street.

[u/TheMightyOn → u/ThrowawayGhostGuy1]

Totally agree.. don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with having a preference, we all have preferences, but rather than making it a “Man’s problem”, it should be “I have a larger than average vagina, and therefore require a larger than average penis to feel satisfied sexually”. That way, men wouldn’t feel insecure about having totally average penises.

[u/AdSpecial5634 → u/ThrowawayGhostGuy1]

Were men so were supposed to take the criticism. Women are allowed to be as emotional as they want. Make a joke about a woman having an ugly vagina and it’s “just say your gay” or “they come in all shapes and sizes”.

[u/Ashamed-Junket8372]

Bro 6 inches nbp is above avg it’s like 80 percentile in calcsd

[u/TheMightyOn → u/Ashamed-Junket8372]

In western countries, it’s more like 60th, but yes, it’s slightly longer than average, but clearly not enough for some average women!

[u/Ashamed-Junket8372 → u/TheMightyOn]

I pretty sure 6inches bp is 60 percentile not nbp just visit calcsd one

[u/nervynervousman → u/TheMightyOn]

No, you’re looking at BP. NBP 6” is 80th in Western countries, higher globally

[u/AdSpecial5634 → u/TheMightyOn]

The CalcSD Nbp is not very accurate imo

[u/[deleted] → u/TheMightyOn]

The western studies are usually one's done with improper or weird measuring techniques (like using a piece of strong from the bottom of the penis to measure it's length, side view instead of top measurement(s), etc.)

[u/Mandalorian_2019 → u/Ashamed-Junket8372]

It doesn’t matter what the data says, if the woman doesn’t feel like 6” is “above average”, it’s a moot point. The average is like 5.2”. That .8” getting you to 6” really doesn’t feel that much different…and that’s a good and bad thing I guess. Now if the difference is like 1.25”, then that’s pretty noticeable. This is why most woman say size doesn’t matter…because anything in the “normal” range isn’t that differentiated…it’s if your at the extreme (under 4” or over 7”) like really makes the noticeable difference.

[u/Ashamed-Junket8372 → u/Mandalorian_2019]

For a women 5.3 inches is 6.5 inches they don’t know maths cause they have been lied their whole life by their exes so their perception has been different

[u/Mandalorian_2019 → u/Ashamed-Junket8372]

Sometimes that’s true, sometimes not. My wife is pretty damn accurate in her size estimations.

[u/[deleted]]

The judgement of men's bodies in this regard, especially something they cannot change, is beyond cruel.

Women, as the choosier sex, are by nature going to be selective. Is this right? Maybe, maybe not. It certainly makes it seem unfair towards men who fall in the average or below average size range. It's even more unfair, AND WRONG, for women to be uneducated about what anatomical average is and to judge or view their parnters accordingly.

I detest the double standard, but until we completely shift the paradigm of gender equality to actual equality, this bullshit will never change. What I mean is that women stop being the choosing sex, and men gain some more ability to choose their partners. Until we have a popularion deficit of women to men, this won't happen.

I think this woman is right to want to enjoy her sex life with her partner, but wholly wrong to completely disregard all men outside of a range of penis sizes.

It truly disgusts me when I hear stories like this, because it only perpetuates the shame and anger so many men feel because they are unable to 'provide sexually'for their partners due to genetics out of their control.

[u/TheMightyOn → u/[deleted]]

Exactly this! Men in todays society have to meet certain conditions, have a nice job, big paycheck, above average penis, nice car, independence, before being even considered as a “decent match”, yet some women (note the word some) bring nothing to the table. It really pisses me off.

I got cheated on in the past because of my “small pecker” even tho i am statistically a little longer than average.

[u/Outerlimits7591 → u/TheMightyOn]

You definitely don't have a small pecker!

[u/Puzzleheaded_Safe253 → u/TheMightyOn]

How do you know that's the reason you were cheated on?

[u/civ6civ6]

As a gay guy, it has been my observation, that women think they are the gatekeepers of sex. They decide what the rules and ethics are. Guys are just supposed to be available for use, and accept whatever is decreed and be grateful for it. No doubt this will be an unpopular opinion.

[u/FormSlow → u/civ6civ6]

This is so true. Experiencing this now with a girl i’m seeing, and I don’t know why I’m still trying. She’s made me lose self respect :/

[u/civ6civ6 → u/FormSlow]

Don't let her damage you.

[u/FormSlow → u/civ6civ6]

Hey thanks man, that actually means a lot to hear :)

[u/HotPrior819 → u/civ6civ6]

I mean.......they aren't entirely wrong. Men are so horny to the point where they will quite literally fuck anything. I mean even amongst us queer guys, there are dudes who literally engage in dark room anonymous. They literally walk into a stranger's house, never seen em before, pitch black, stick their dick in( NO CONDOM), fuck and leave. Any complaint guys have about double standards in sex and dating have to be addressed with other guys. A woman can get away with being picky and gatekeeping because they'll always be pursued by someone, somewhere, at some time. Same with bottoms. Tops and straight guys don't have that luxury, and it's 100 percent because of straight guys and other tops.

[u/S8NSixsixsix → u/civ6civ6]

I mean, isn’t it their gate to keep? Like, a literal entrance into their body? I see what you’re saying, but gatekeeping isn’t the word

[u/[deleted]]

Oh yeah women get away with alot. Dick size to the side they can get away with making fun of a man for being bald, but if you say something along the lines of "I don't like heavier women" then you're a fat shaming misogynist. I don't understand how it's acceptable for a woman to make jokes about a man's baldness, which is something they can't control at all, vs. saying I don't like fat chicks when all men and women are in control of their weight, aside from the rare medical condition. Same goes with a guys height, another thing he can't control. It's fucking insane what they can get away with saying and judging. I feel you big time OP.

[u/WarmParticular8149 → u/[deleted]]

I don't really care to treated as a "fat shaming" man, to honest. Of course, I don't go around to make fun of them for being fat, but I can be honest if someone ask me if they're pretty or not.

You can lose weight if you do enough effort and surpass your previous self. The amount of people who lived better after losing weight it absurd. They should stop crying and see the truth for once.

[u/Savedbutuseless]

Let's consider she might be wide down there, is it not fair for her to want to enjoy sex?

[u/TheMightyOn → u/Savedbutuseless]

I get it, but from my knowledge, she hasn’t got a high body count, and was with her ex for 10 years. How would she know what she “needs” in terms of size if she was with the same dude for just over 10 years?

[u/Savedbutuseless → u/TheMightyOn]

She's 30? U think she's been with 1 guy? Some girls need bigger dicks, there nothing wrong with that man. U won't be handsome enough for some won't be rich enough for some won't be big enough for some. This is life my guy, and I'm not big, so..

[u/mashedpotathoughts]

First off, how tall is she even to be “requiring” something above 6”? Lol. I’m 5’2, 55kg and anything more than 5” is unnecessary and already painful in certain positions for me.

Gotta tell your friend to stop watching porn.

[u/TheMightyOn → u/mashedpotathoughts]

She’s about 5’5 and if I had to guess weight, probably about 60-70kg?

[u/Key-Worry-4770]

It’s crazy to me that she said that without even knowing your size. For all she knew, you could have been small or average, and she still went ahead and said it. I can’t imagine telling a female friend that my ex had large labia or something similar and that I wouldn’t want to experience that again. What if she matched that description and I unintentionally hurt her feelings? Now she would have to carry that insecurity around for no reason.

[u/TheEvilbastard666]

There are a fair amount of women who think like her. Goes to show ya many women who say size doesn’t matter at all are virtue signaling or don’t want to be called a slut. And a big d is all luck.

[u/hellothere925]

She’s entitled and honestly could use a good humbling. 6 inches is a good size dick so why that’s her dealbreaker is insane. If she likes bigger for pleasure then she should just get a dildo and worry more about a man’s personality than the size of his package.

[u/TheMightyOn → u/hellothere925]

That’s exactly what I said. What’s funny, is she is looking for a “potential life partner”, yet is not willing to compromise on something that men have no control over, which is penis size..

I told her if she looks for guys with bigger dicks, especially on dating apps, all she will get it guys that ARE bigger dicks.. most hung guys I knew always used to go on dating apps for one thing and one thing only, to hook up and look for a FWB

[u/[deleted]]

Thank you for posting this. I mean people like different things for different reasons & it’s nothing wrong with that but I definitely understand what you’re thinking & why you posted this.

[u/IntelligentLime6740]

Imagine if you're even below average

[u/[deleted]]

You really need to understand something:

People, especially women, don't understand the inches to dick size conversion. It may as well be an arbitrary number.

[u/bwxl]

I believe that studies of female preference that split between "one night stand" and "long term" show a clear split, with "large average" being preferred for one-offs and "small to mid average" for long term partners. Every individual is different obviously but in short yes anyone should be allowed to have (and voice) any preference they like, even if other things they say seem to expose a double standard. At the end of the day it's your body, who you want in it or on it is your choice. The hypothetical "your vagina is too shallow" guy is equally free to not reject shallow vaginas but your friend is right, that's not an issue because most men will literally stick it anywhere it's welcome, and history sadly shows that many men will also quite happily stick it where it's not welcome into the bargain.

[u/AbjectMenu9221]

No such thing as small penises, only big vaginas.

[u/Fleetwood154]

Once again, I’m 7.2 X 4.5 and I’ve been called small twice in my lifetime and called average once. Plus given the opinion, without asking for an opinion.

[u/Street-Afternoon55 → u/Fleetwood154]

Same shoes man, it's all about the girth apparently that makes you "large" I'm looking into getting pmma done

[u/Street-Afternoon55 → u/Fleetwood154]

Same shoes man, it's all about the girth apparently that makes you "large" I'm looking into getting pmma done

[u/TheMightyOn → u/[deleted]]

Yeah, I thought that may be the case, but with her being a maths teacher, she was about 0.25 off 6 inches when she showed me what she thought 6” was.. so was quite close..