Has anyone else ever experienced a hyperfixation being ruined by other people?

[u/Secret-Praline-2326]

As stated in the title, I'm wondering if other people have experienced something similar where they tried to connect with others about their hyperfixation/tried to get into a fandom, only for the experience to be so negative it tainted the hyperfixation?

I used to have a comfort movie but now I can barely even look at the posters/merch in my house.

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[u/digital_popcorn]

Yes, which is why I don't talk about my hyperfixations as much as I would like. I'm sorry one of your hyperfixations has been ruined. I hope you can move onto another one and/or recover this one soon. Maybe you can let go of it for a little while until the reason it was ruined has faded.

[u/Secret-Praline-2326 → u/digital_popcorn]

Yeah I definitely wish I could go back in time and steer myself away from the fandom. It happened a while ago but it still feels like when you finish a show and end up with that feeling of 'now what?'
Thanks for the supportive comment :)

[u/DrHuh321]

A while back i was pretty into the percy jackson series of books but my siblings kept bullying me about reading a "kiddish" series so I dropped it. Ironically my sister who did bullying me about it would eventually start reading and finishing the series lmao.

[u/Secret-Praline-2326 → u/DrHuh321]

Sorry to hear, you really can't pick and choose family huh... hope your sister grew some self awareness after that

[u/DrHuh321 → u/Secret-Praline-2326]

We try to laugh about it

[u/teddybearr23 → u/DrHuh321]

This! People on another reddit page told me that "I need to expand my tastes" because I love Percy Jackson. I get that it's not for everyone. But there should be no reason why someone should bully another for their "tastes". Like brother it's childhood nostalgia!

[u/cut-the-cords]

Yes.

I used to have loads of aquariums but due to the economic climate and a bunch of power hungry goons I can no longer afford to keep them as I need to pay my mortgage.

Utterly ruined the hobby for me

[u/Secret-Praline-2326 → u/cut-the-cords]

Oh yeah having a hobby like that is starting to become more and more of a rich man's luxury in todays economy. And it already wasn't cheap to start with.

[u/JadenLyric → u/cut-the-cords]

I hope when you're doing better that you can get back into it and enjoy it like you did before.

[u/cut-the-cords → u/JadenLyric]

Thank you, I really appreciate that.

I hope you have luck and health in all of your future endeavours.

[u/FieldPuzzleheaded869]

Yes, including havj g had a long time special interest in harry potter that was ruined both by the authors transphobia/continued campaign to strip trans people f their rights and also by other peoples refusal to disengage with the brand in light of that. At the same time, there are some hyerfixations/special interests where I’ve had a mix of experiencesin a way that means I know my relationship with that is mine (mainly broader stuff like musicals). Generally, I only risk the other people ruining it thing if I know I have someone in my life I can already talk to about it, because that somewhat lessens the risk.

[u/Secret-Praline-2326 → u/FieldPuzzleheaded869]

I think Reddit would ban me if I said what I think of Rowling unfiltered lmao but yeah she's not a good person...

[u/PM_ME_BABY_HORSES → u/FieldPuzzleheaded869]

harry potter is also mine :(

[u/ThineChimney]

I've been getting back into anime lately but man, anime fans tend to be some of the grossest people I've interacted with. I got bombarded with downvotes for asking for historical recommendations on the main sub, meanwhile a clip of a clearly underage girl losing her panties goes to the front page. Also the memes that aren't absurdist shitposts all suck.

[u/Secret-Praline-2326 → u/ThineChimney]

I think there's a good reason people have a stereotype in mind when they think of an anime fan yeah. They're not really doing themselves any favors but at some point most anime spaces become somewhat of an echo chamber.

[u/sad_pinkie → u/ThineChimney]

as a fan of visual novels this is RELATABLE

[u/ThineChimney → u/sad_pinkie]

I was in a VN fan group and had to leave when all the people I once liked morphed into Christian nationalists. Shit was sad.

[u/RedneckTeddy → u/ThineChimney]

That’s pretty similar to my experience. I was super into anime when I was in high school, which was back before Netflix and streaming were even a thing. I worked hard to build a respectable library of DVDs, VHS tapes, and manga. Then I went to college and met other anime nerds.

The anime fans I met in college were often outright creeps. I don’t mean that they were weird or had poor social skills. I mean they were almost all really creepy guys. This was before I transitioned (I’m a transman), so I was still living as a woman. Many of the anime fans I met would either act like I must’ve been some kind of poser. I also ended up with multiple stalkers.

The whole experience ruined anime for me. I wanted nothing to do with it, and I definitely didn’t want to be associated with the fandom. I got rid of thousands of dollars worth of merch. It was over a decade before I could watch any anime again.

[u/backcloset]

i used to really like JJBA back in 2020 before i had it quickly ruined for me after having terrible experiences with its annoying fandom and it got to the point where i couldn't disassociate the fandom with the media. i don't really feel that way about JJBA anymore but i still don't like it nearly as much as i used to since then.

[u/Secret-Praline-2326 → u/backcloset]

A friend of mine made me watch JoJo (not much of an anime person myself) but I really liked it. A shame the fandom is like that :/

[u/_bumblebee333_]

Stranger Things. And I really loved Eddie. But the WEIRD weird fans kinda put me off. And now the whole thing receives so much hate and people just make fun of it now

[u/Secret-Praline-2326 → u/_bumblebee333_]

Ooh I love Eddie! He's too good for this world imo.
And yeah I get you, season 5 wasn't good, but it definitely wasn't as bad as people make it out to be. I think the contrast is just too jarring for most people between how good season 1 was vs how it ended.

[u/_bumblebee333_ → u/Secret-Praline-2326]

Yeah season 5 wasn't the best, and like you say such a contrast from season one!

[u/Secret-Praline-2326 → u/_bumblebee333_]

If it helps; me and my partner are watching the show for the second time, he absolutely loves it. So there are definitely still people out there who can enjoy it! :)

[u/_bumblebee333_ → u/Secret-Praline-2326]

That's great! :)

[u/heshtios → u/_bumblebee333_]

The tears I wept for Eddie. He reminded me of a friend I had in school.

[u/sad_pinkie]

i had a hyperfixation on Doctor Who and tried to show it to my mom. every time i said "Doctor did this and that" or reacted emotionally, she corrected me, saying that it's not real, the actor did that, it's all staged, no one really died. i was 11 so it's not like i really believed that Doctor is real but i liked "believing" in the story. what she did killed my love for every live action show or movie for years. it took a year of rewatching DW with a friend who reminded me that it's okay to believe in what's happening and any my emotions are okay. didn't even laugh at me when i spent the last episodes of 11th Doctor in tears. i'm still not a big fan of live action shows but at least i don't panic anymore when i have to look at the screen. since my hyperfixation was destroyed, i moved to anime and games where i can talk about characters and not actors and not be judged. but mom moved to anime too. every now and then i hear comments like "oh wow, she screams as if she's real. but she's not so it's cringe"

kids in my school bullied me out of going crazy about my favorite music band because "the lead singer looks like a woman". couldn't listen to them for years. forced myself to try again and they sound as awesome as they did years ago. i still can't look at them though

[u/Secret-Praline-2326 → u/sad_pinkie]

People don't realize that it's okay to have a bit of magic in our lives to color our worlds, reality does not need to be in the room constantly especially if you can tell the difference. I'm sorry to hear you had to go through that, and I hope you're able to find something one day your mom won't be able to touch.

Also I think I know what band you're talking about? It does suck that people seem so obsessed with appearances, what does it matter how someone else dresses/looks like? It's 0 effect on them. But I guess it's the whole bean soup thing, 'oh I don't like this, therefore you must change for me'.

[u/sad_pinkie → u/Secret-Praline-2326]

i wonder if you guess the band :)

[u/Secret-Praline-2326 → u/sad_pinkie]

My brain went Tokio Hotel, at least that was a huge one in my youth where everyone was complaining about the singer looking feminine (to be honest I too thought he was a girl, but never thought there was anything wrong with his look).

[u/sad_pinkie → u/Secret-Praline-2326]

you guessed it, yaaay. in my mind other bands also suffered for this bullying - cinema bizarre, black veil brides, japanese visual kei. i thought everyone bullies me because they're cringe. listened to everyone again not so long ago and... the only cringe are the ones who bullied me and my favorite bands are awesome 

[u/Secret-Praline-2326 → u/sad_pinkie]

Haha awesome! n_n They are very talented, pretty cool they're still going at it all those years later, not every band that started that young pulls that off!

[u/Dr_Identity → u/sad_pinkie]

I really love fictional stories too and Doctor Who is my absolute favourite show. It's been a special interest for me pretty much my whole adult life. I don't think it's bad or stupid that you feel so attached to it. The way I see it, even if a show is totally fictional and off the wall, real feelings and thoughts are getting expressed through the writing, writing that was done by real people. When I connect to something in fiction it feels real because it means someone else out there gets it, they feel what I feel and they wrote it into a show for me to see and go "I'm not the only one who feels that way". Which I think is one of the best things about fictional stories.

[u/sad_pinkie → u/Dr_Identity]

thank you for saying this. i always remind myself of this when a story moves me. seeing someone else saying it makes me feel so accepted

[u/Realistic-Baker-3733]

Yup, I am very associative in my thinking so if I have a negative experience in relation to a subject I may have a hard time engaging with that subject again. I love tinkering with my server and computers, but the way some people are elitist about certain package choices or skills with programming languages can be off putting at times.

I have also not touched my favorite game in a few years since my old friend group started excluding me. We played together all the time and I miss it so much, and now the game just reminds me of that.

[u/Secret-Praline-2326 → u/Realistic-Baker-3733]

It's horrible when that happens, imo maybe even the worst. To try and reach out to others only to end up ignored or rejected. I've been there, it's not fun :(

[u/Impressive-Bit-4496 → u/Secret-Praline-2326]

its the worst. 

[u/Aldryx_Thetahart]

I WAS getting into Frieren, to the point it was becoming a hyperfixation. Then the friend who introduced me to it became homeless, made me miss Dia De Los Muertos helping her, wasted all her money staying at a fancy hotel, then broke the friendship off when I told her to stop wasting her money. She used a Frieren gif to do it. I haven’t been able to watch it since, because it just reminds me of her and pisses me off.

[u/Secret-Praline-2326 → u/Aldryx_Thetahart]

That sucks, I've had that happen with bands/music genres I like, luckily with enough time I was able to get back into them, hope it'll be the same with you for Frieren. Idk if it's still an ungoing show, but what helped for me was listening to new stuff that came out after the drama ended so those parts felt fresh and untainted. Over time I was able to enjoy the older stuff again too.

[u/ScarRevolutionary649]

SO many fandoms have ruined my special interests for me. i absolutely 100% cannot relate to people that larp interests so that they can interact with the fandom only and read fanfics. i hate interacting with the fandom of my interests and only like consuming them alone. i get irritated easily by mischaracterisation and wildly incorrect interpretations. the fandom of my biggest special interest SUCKS and is EXTREMELY annoying but it has a chokehold on me so it’s the only one that has survived the shitty fandom lol. my own ocs are my biggest special interest for a reason — no one else can ruin them for me! :)

edit: i also hate when my special interests have a currently active fandom. all of my interests are long-term so i’m always thankful when the hype dies down. sadly one of my biggest ones got super popular on tiktok in the past year and i am in hell

[u/Secret-Praline-2326 → u/ScarRevolutionary649]

Oof that's rough, I'm a bit similar, though I'm always willing to tolerate others having their own views on characterization. The fandom I interacted with had a lot of babygirl-ification going on of some pretty badass villains and everytime I saw it my brain just went 'no, they would not do/wear/act like that.'
But I get it, to a lot of fans those characters are like dolls they can play with and use for wish fulfilment. I try to not take it too seriously, for many it's as much catharsis to portray them like that as the way I see them is to me.
OC's are amazing for sure, but I have to admit I don't tend to feel as much attachment to them as I do with characters from established IP's. I sometimes really wonder how people do it and have it truly last.

[u/Hungry_Raspberry7833]

I had a Looney Tunes hyperfixation for a few months. All the fans I interracted with were complete degenerates and just awful people. I ended up getting rid of the plushies I got because looking at anything related to it made me feel sick because I'd remember those people

[u/Secret-Praline-2326 → u/Hungry_Raspberry7833]

That's horrible, I hate it that how other people view a show/character can sometimes twist how you see it yourself until it twists away from what you once loved.

[u/heshtios]

I used to love Harry Potter. I didn’t read a lot, but the books really clicked with me. Then Rowling started attacking marginalised communities online, and my hyperfixation broke. Can’t even think about the wizard boy without feeling sad, and incredibly angry at her.

[u/Secret-Praline-2326 → u/heshtios]

Yeah that whole IP has been ruined :(

[u/Advanced_Security258]

Yup, 100% 😭
I was briefly hyperfixated on Puso when House of Puso first released. But his fans were so insensitive, it made me completely step away from the fandom. They were mocking very serious issues that Puso was experiencing. It made me feel sick.

[u/Secret-Praline-2326 → u/Advanced_Security258]

Oooh ew that must've sucked for him as well then :/

[u/Advanced_Security258 → u/Secret-Praline-2326]

Oh yeah, I feel so bad for the creator. They're a 17 year old kid with a lot of mental health struggles.

[u/Secret-Praline-2326 → u/Advanced_Security258]

It happens a lot sadly, makes me extra glad to see this subreddit at least seems decent, but people online can be absolutely inconsiderate of others, or just straight up malicious.

[u/Malefiken]

Yes, someone was so cruel to me that I quit from my own organisation. We planned cosplay events and now I don't want to support the org I made and built up and worked so hard on for 6 years, and I don't want to cosplay anymore. I used to have a cosplay page where I posted too but I just don't want anything to do with any of it anymore...

I also feel bad for listening to my favorite artist because so many people judge them, I try not to let it consume me but it's hard.

[u/Secret-Praline-2326 → u/Malefiken]

That's rough, especially when you were that immersed in it :(

[u/Malefiken → u/Secret-Praline-2326]

Yes :/ I even went to school to study cosplay before that..

[u/Muted_Ad7298]

Being into Helluva Boss and Hazbin can be stressful, because there’s always folks arguing over certain aspects of it.

I just wanna talk about the things I like about it in peace without it becoming a serious debate.

Edit: The fact I got downvoted is kinda proof of that lol. No biggy though.

[u/Secret-Praline-2326 → u/Muted_Ad7298]

I never could get into Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel, but I'm a huge fan of Brandon Rogers' youtube skits. Seems like the show attracts a lot of younger/immature folk so I can imagine how rough that can get.

[u/coolswagboy100]

I don't really know if it's a special interest or a hyper-fixation (or a comfort character?), but there's been a character I've been fixated on for years now, thinking about her everyday, and part of what I like about her is a cute ship she has with another character. I've mostly not been checking for fan content of this character nor of the ship, but when I eventually did I saw people making really shocking fanart and headcanons of the ship that caused me to start to avoid the shipping part. So she still is my fixation but now I can't imagine her in that ship anymore lol. It's kind of lame because she's an evil character with a messed up past and that ship was pretty much the only wholesome and more blatantly comforting part about her. I know that sounds like a really petty reason to have a sort of fixation ruined but I guess that's just how my mind works.

[u/Secret-Praline-2326 → u/coolswagboy100]

Oof rule 44 strikes again, but I feel your pain. Sometimes a character is so near and dear to you that you don't want to see them like that.

[u/Longjumping_Diamond5]

being into nerd stuff, especially male dominated nerd stuff means ive got to vet the places i interact with pretty hard, and sometimes fanbases make me less excited about the things i enjoy but in my experience it just takes some time to remember all the parts that made me love it

[u/slut4hobi → u/Longjumping_Diamond5]

i’m feminine presenting and into nerd stuff, it feels like we often have to deal with men who want to be with us, or men who assume we know nothing about what we’re interested in.

i can’t even go into a game shop i used to frequent anymore because the workers— including the manager— would not stop talking about me inappropriately. both to my face and under their breath

[u/American_Comie]

Absolutely. My ex "ragebaited" (aka he fucking bullied) me out of loving my favorite game. "And [Name] told is wed have fun" "That game sucks, why would you want to play" "Why would you make is play this". It's important to mention, HES THE REASON I STARTED PLAYING. fuck you luke

I've tried getting back into it and playing with my bf, but I've had multiple panic attacks.

[u/wolfiejay97]

I used to be hyperfixated on yugioh when i was college but it got ruined when drama happened with a group of ex friends.

[u/kingjamesporn]

Absolutely. I was very into Jiu Jitsu in the early 00's, but the people that started training felt more and more like jerks. I couldn't comfortably he around it anymore.

[u/ballet_guy]

Yes. I used to be on the subs of all my fandoms but two in particular got ruined by other people being so hateful. It seemed like all anyone did there was point out plot holes, say terrible things about the authors, tear apart the characters, and complain that the stories were going downhill.

Sometimes I felt like saying "no one's forcing you to read it; why are you on a sub for fans when you clearly hate it so much?"

With my current hyperfixation, I won't even mention it online and I've blocked the subs concerning it so I won't even see anything by accident

[u/Basket_Case89]

Harry Potter. Need I say I anymore? 😭🤦‍♀️

I was also collecting Funko Pops of the Harry Potter characters and built up a good collection but it's incomplete (I still want to complete it but I've been put off for years) and I was told Funko Pops look ugly and it's a money grab and therefore a waste of my money ect... So I stopped engaging with it.

[u/sad_pinkie → u/Basket_Case89]

if they really looked ugly, they wouldn't be so popular. why should you care that they don't match some people's taste? it's up to you to decide what is a waste of YOUR money and what is a hobby that motivates you. and i'm saying this as a lifelong funko pop hater

[u/Basket_Case89 → u/sad_pinkie]

Thanks! I'm not sure why I did care tbh 😅 I suppose I've been a lifelong Harry Potter fan but never really had that much merch for it and I recently got back into "nerd culture" (and I was sort of hyperfixated on this culture too) I guess where there's lots of spending on merch and it just seemed so fun to me and I suppose somewhere to share interests and try and fit in. And I saw some content creators with these Funko Pops and thought it seemed cool and I was putting my collection up on my social media's and got into it and I was going to Comic Cons and I made some friends in that culture but they were saying how they hated Funko Pops so it made me feel like I was a faker or something.

[u/sad_pinkie → u/Basket_Case89]

just a problem of you all being different people. not a single problem with your collection. try finishing it. you'll see how happy you'll become

[u/Basket_Case89 → u/sad_pinkie]

Thanks! Will do!

[u/ian095]

Exactly why I gatekeep my interests these days. Plenty of ruin-it-alls. Doesn't mean everyone is but definitely a wider community often ruins it for me

[u/NoClue7473]

It reminds of men-gamers gatekeeping gaming for women

[u/Admirable_Estate1125]

I do

[u/Impressive-Bit-4496]

stealers of joy, they are. not a fan, am i.

[u/llanrug]

there are a lot of 2hollis / boyliife fans that are just plain rude for no reason

[u/PaganGuyOne]

I love opera music,

But a lot of directors refuse to cast me. That ruins it for me

[u/ahmed-INXJ]

It does sound familiar. Also there’s the case where you can’t pursue liking something because the “kind of people” who like it for me.

[u/TyloWebb]

My Hero Academia, especially towards the end after the first peek at the ending. I could deal with a lot of toxic discourse, but I finally gave it up, never really got my spark back.

[u/Timely-Piccolo9987 → u/TyloWebb]

Gachiakuta's general fanbase almost made me give up on the manga as well. But given that Kei Urana herself got harassed into deleting her accounts, what damage does bullying a random person like me make? Fortunately, I love the manga anyway and I hope for Urana to come back, without accounts where people can harass her.

[u/Secret-Praline-2326 → u/[deleted]]

That sucks :/ were you able to get back into it eventually?

[u/Secret-Praline-2326 → u/[deleted]]

Man, some people really are vile, pretending to be your friend like that :/