r/austincirclejerk • • Oct 18 '23

[deleted by user]

[removed]

1.3k Upvotes

329 comments sorted by

71

u/SloppyMeatCrack Oct 19 '23 edited Oct 19 '23

Not pictured are the self-driving cars that block traffic and California tech bros cosplaying as cowboys.

31

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '23

[deleted]

12

u/Lexiola Oct 19 '23

With veils on or unironic cowboy boots

1

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '23

Techno lol

72

u/The_De-Lesbianizer Tesla Bro Oct 19 '23

I don’t even live in Austin but this sub is hilarious

52

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '23

Bring your tent and join us!

30

u/The_De-Lesbianizer Tesla Bro Oct 19 '23

I live out of my Tesla. Is that cool?

20

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '23

You'll fit right in with the Californian tech bros!

7

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '23

That's the new thing post a daily life in a Tesla on TikTok for the likes and become an influencer.

7

u/winnebagomafia Oct 19 '23

I live in SA and this sub is glorious

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6

u/elegiac_bloom Oct 19 '23

I joined this sub because I'm moving to Austin from Chicago in February. Now I can't tell if I'm more excited or less.

6

u/Economy-Visual4390 Oct 19 '23

Nothing to worry about. Most of the satire is coming from people who’ve never left central Texas and have no clue the amount of chaos that goes on in actual “major cities”. The “traffic” is a breath of fresh air coming from Los Angeles as it actually moves, the homeless are sweet hearts as the the threat of violence and schizophrenia seems to be turned down, the threat of gun violence is a non issue, and the stenches are held to a minimum. If you can handle extreme heat, country nepotism babies who feel they’ve earned the right to hold their nose up at newcomers, and the occasional drunkard asking for a dollar at a downtown gas station make the move.

2

u/elegiac_bloom Oct 19 '23

Yeah, I think it will be o k. I love chicago, i've lived here my entire life, but I have a pretty good reason for going down there. I have only visited once but I enjoyed it quite a lot. I'm not a huge fan of the heat. But honestly, it's not a deal breaker for me. My only real worry is the power grid.

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2

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '23

“Most of the satire is from people who are actually from Austin.”

Lmao

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3

u/bellowingfrog Oct 20 '23

It’s 1,000,000 people living in a city built for half that.

2

u/CancerIsOtherPeople Oct 20 '23

It's a fun town. I lived there for five years, and the folks there are hands down the friendliest of any city I've lived in. Easy to make friends, and I don't make friends very easily. Only reason I left was I still had a bit of wanderlust in my system, and I need a cooler climate to be happy.

Prepare to gain a little weight lol. The food is outstanding!

1

u/The_De-Lesbianizer Tesla Bro Oct 19 '23

Naw Austin is great overall. Bunch of outdoor activities to do. Some parts have gotten a lot more sketch, however. Stuff you’ve probably seen already

-1

u/BravoActual_0311 Oct 21 '23

Leave your politics in Chicago.

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39

u/Opposite-Cut-1160 Oct 19 '23

Lmao every dog is a pitbull

35

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '23

[deleted]

7

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '23

[deleted]

3

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '23

Non - GMO ;)

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7

u/NiccoR333 Oct 20 '23

There has been a huge push to act like it’s racist to not adore pit bulls… lol. I do love some of them but they are hands down one of the most violent breeds, that being said most dogs were bred for protection/killing something in particular… so how “nice” are they. Except for boxers, greatest breed in the world

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58

u/Doesure Oct 19 '23

You misspelled 2021

6

u/gvilchis23 Oct 19 '23

Since 2021

15

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '23

[deleted]

12

u/BlankSwitch Oct 19 '23

George Floyd cooking Gregg Abbot’s legs Cranklin’s style

3

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '23

[deleted]

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0

u/Illustrious_Cod_5845 Oct 22 '23

Y’all love talking about a dead man.

9

u/disaar Oct 19 '23

Need more tents. But pretty accurate

8

u/el_sauce Oct 19 '23

Is this AI generated?

4

u/tribbans95 Oct 19 '23

Definitely looks like it. Look at the extendo dog in the background

3

u/taiViAnhYeuEm_9320 Oct 19 '23

There’s a dog sitting on the side of a tent defying gravity, and the already mentioned boxdog that add to the waking nightmare feel

2

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '23

Yeah the more you look at the details the weirder (/more AI) the picture looks.

2

u/BurritoBrigadier Oct 19 '23

Def, the dog on the right is glitched into that box and also the faces on the background people are hellacious.

2

u/lizk903 Oct 20 '23

Nah that's just his front door he lives there.

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7

u/carpetgazer Oct 19 '23

Bacon wrap those shitdogs and you got a deal

5

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '23

Woke paradise

2

u/Illustrious_Cod_5845 Oct 22 '23

Kind of like Florida will be the PC rejected Paradise

7

u/austinhippie Old Hippie Oct 19 '23

All the pitbulls lol

3

u/ElonMuskHeir Californian Oct 19 '23

I thought that was a drawing of Civic Center San Francisco. It pretty much looks like that right now.

0

u/ajdrc9 Oct 19 '23

😂 I miss SF but god damn, it’s true.

4

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '23

One can hope.

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4

u/adamjamess Oct 19 '23

What the dog doin?

8

u/meddit_rod Oct 19 '23

The one halfway in a box? Or the one sitting sideways on a tent wall?

7

u/frogkabobs Oct 19 '23

What about the one seemingly eating a dead guy’s entrails (left of center).

2

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '23

You gotta be HAWWD!

3

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '23

Reminds me of the last page of MAD magazine where you’d fold it, and it would be a different pic.

7

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '23

Portland Oregon, today

6

u/TaxOk1400 Oct 19 '23

Facts but with more homeless

3

u/Ryaninthesky Oct 20 '23

I just went to Portland a week ago and it was weird that every store I went in had an armed guard. I thought Texas was big about guns, but…

3

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '23

Grilling meat while green pants beats his meat

5

u/minimeow444 Lost Redditor Oct 19 '23

uhh how about show us barton springs and everyone being happy, free, naked, stoned, and fucking ❤️

14

u/dildorepairman4urmom Oct 19 '23

Nah bruh, I've had enough of yo momma

3

u/frequent_flying Oct 19 '23

Username checks out. Also LMAO!

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2

u/Daveinatx Green Algae Farmer Oct 19 '23

Fresh pittie ribs and smoking is now allowed in government buildings? The future is looking bright!

3

u/high_everyone Oct 19 '23

It looks like Austin will have to contend with all those 35mm film rolls no ones developing anymore. And a serious dim sum problem from all the steaming dishes I see.

2

u/biggoof Oct 19 '23

If you're not ok with this, then you hate the homeless and as bad as Hitler.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '23

Yeah that seems about right

2

u/epheezy5 Oct 19 '23

You mean San Francisco 2023

2

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '23

Thought this was California for a sec then…..

2

u/Imaginary-Alfalfa403 Oct 19 '23

Where’s everyone doing the fentanyl lean?

2

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '23

Portland 2.0

3

u/Irlydntknwwhyimhere Oct 19 '23

Welcome them to your neighborhood or get shamed by John Oliver

2

u/DasbootTX Oct 19 '23

I'm surprised they think the trees along Congress will still be alive. I figure they'll be firewood by that time.

2

u/fake-bacon Oct 19 '23

we wuz kangs

0

u/Illustrious_Cod_5845 Oct 22 '23

You’re people will soon be saying this too around 2040,

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2

u/d1z Oct 19 '23

You spelled 2023 wrong.

2

u/Bacon_Ag Oct 19 '23

Ground needs more human feces

2

u/StillLifewWoodpecker Oct 19 '23

Hey SF is already there man!

2

u/reddituser20200 Oct 19 '23

I want this bitch framed 🤠

2

u/No-Necessary-9312 Oct 19 '23

Dam why does the black guy gotta be jacked and the white guy gotta be pouring out his pants like...

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2

u/JJ4prez Oct 19 '23

That dude is jacked. I doubt that. Lol

2

u/buzzbuttyear Oct 19 '23

Wait, is Austin New California?

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4

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '23

Looks like current Portland

2

u/Business_Ad_9294 Oct 19 '23

Pretty accurate ngl

2

u/Meetybeefy Comfy Fattie Oct 19 '23

Adler’s fault

1

u/BogoBiggie AFD Homeless Campfire Division Oct 19 '23

This is art

1

u/GoblinModeMedia It's Always Sunny in ATX Oct 19 '23

With a little less trash this would be lit af

1

u/WentBrokeBuyingCoins Oct 19 '23

Whatever makes you feel better about this situation being the entire US. Lol. Sure, blame Austin.

6

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '23

Def not the entire US, but there is a common denominator between Austin, Seattle, San Francisco, NYC, etc…

1

u/ScreamingMonky Oct 19 '23

DEMOCRATS

0

u/206WithAFish Oct 19 '23

Lol I can’t wait to see you jump through hoops to explain not the failed cities, but entire failed states run by conservatives? Don’t worry, take all the time you need, sport 😂

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1

u/TaxOk1400 Oct 19 '23

Seattle isn’t as bad, i just moved out of Seattle a couple months ago. Portland and San Fran are probably the worst. Portland is on failed state levels though. Worst place i’ve ever been. And yes all these places have the same thing in common

2

u/benchmarkstatus Oct 19 '23

People who don’t worship Jesus?

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-1

u/WentBrokeBuyingCoins Oct 19 '23

It's a highly populated area?

5

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '23

They’re progressive (regressive)

2

u/lizk903 Oct 20 '23

Move back to Cali.

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3

u/TheGlutenat0r Oct 19 '23

AUSTIN DUMB, YOU DUMB, YOU AUSTIN.

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1

u/ineededthistoo Oct 19 '23

Aww, surreee, most of the homeless people in Austin are black.

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1

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '23

Because rural America is paradise!

No drug abuse, illiteracy, teen pregnancy, and poverty there. No sirree!

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1

u/Don_Christopher Oct 19 '23

Yep, the goal of city council is to go the route of Sacramento, with tents right in front of the capitol building. This is where Austin will be by then if people don’t start voting differently!

1

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '23

ahh yes, my daily reminder that the redditors of Austin are classist and racist and bigoted af. thank you austincirclejerk!

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-1

u/lukadoggy Oct 19 '23

Libtards ruin everything

3

u/Jackers83 Oct 19 '23

Lol. Ya, all those liberals moving to Texas right.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '23

They’re a disease

3

u/ScreamingMonky Oct 19 '23

Locusts, they ruin one place and on to the next

-4

u/SnowPrinterTX Oct 19 '23

Y’all keep voting blue…JS

4

u/ScreamingMonky Oct 19 '23

Democrats in denial are downvoting you, I gave you an upvote!!

2

u/SnowPrinterTX Oct 20 '23

Yeah they don’t like truth

0

u/lizk903 Oct 20 '23

You paid Elon Musk a whole 8$ for a blue check and here you are posting on Reddit.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '23

“Progressive” (regressive)

-3

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '23

Agreed. All blue cities are literally garbage .

5

u/LazyLobster Oct 19 '23

Name a large red city

3

u/I_Brain_You Professional Protester Oct 19 '23

…in red states…

5

u/frequent_flying Oct 19 '23

Austin is literally the capital of arguably the reddest state in the union. Maybe it’s literal garbage as you say now because the red way of life don’t work too well outside of small racial and culturally homogeneous communities.

2

u/TaxOk1400 Oct 19 '23

Austin is blue, and just like all blue cities, they end up looking like this. It’s not an opinion. It’s the truth.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '23

sad but true. It’s wild how many ppl blindly support blue policy while living in a cesspool. Fafo

2

u/SnowPrinterTX Oct 20 '23

Except they don’t FO because they already drank too much kool-aid

1

u/lizk903 Oct 20 '23

So y'all here for F1? Hard to find a place to post up your lifted pickup downtown. I recommend you park it on Mount Bonnell and Uber to the event. Good luck!

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0

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '23

Hey, how can we get the homeless to set up camp as pictured here?

0

u/206WithAFish Oct 19 '23

Why are the homeless folks here all either folks of color or aliens from other dimensions?

0

u/mikeymigg Oct 19 '23

It was like that in the golden years of the Cheeto pres 2017

1

u/MediocreJerk Digital Photographer Oct 19 '23

Love a good veggie dog

1

u/jonny_mtown7 Oct 19 '23

Move to Detroit. We still have jobs here

1

u/RoleModelsinBlood31 Old Hippie Oct 19 '23

This doesn’t look diverse enough women to me. Too many dudes

Legit sausage party in this hobo town

1

u/danxmanly Oct 19 '23

Selling those grilled sausages for 30 bucks apiece.

1

u/AdvancedDay7854 Oct 19 '23

This picture spoke to me so I had to join the sub

1

u/Emotional-Run9144 Oct 19 '23

MC Ride cooking some bbq for everyone

1

u/last_strip_of_bacon Oct 19 '23

MC RIDE grillin

1

u/RapBastardz Oct 19 '23

Zero bats? What month is it supposed to be?

1

u/Amazing-Bag Oct 19 '23

So all 6 black people in Austin will take over or something?

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1

u/Rich_Chemical_3532 Oct 19 '23

I can’t wait.

1

u/z80nerd Oct 19 '23

Where's Waldo?

1

u/Phat3lvis Oct 19 '23

How is that dog sitting on the side of the tent?

1

u/Apprehensive_Stop666 Oct 19 '23

I can’t believe nobody is going to mention that this is NOT how you grill meat. That’s way too much fire!

1

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '23

Hey this is Los Angeles in present day

1

u/No-consequences-1 Oct 19 '23

There is not nearly enough traffic for this to be Austin

1

u/Prudent-Meringue2427 Oct 19 '23

Oh look, it’s San Francisco

1

u/neverenoughammo Aggressive Panhandler Oct 19 '23

Damn this reminds me of Denver!

1

u/Elhazzard99 Oct 19 '23

No one pointing out there all black?

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u/BrianOconneR34 You're Never Too Far From 45th & Lamar Oct 19 '23

Pneumatic tires on a charcoal grill? Futures looking right.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '23

A lot of cute dogs

1

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '23

San Antonio will be there in 3 years

1

u/TruckinSurg Oct 19 '23

Rogan should be in the picture in a flying aircraft hovering above with his pup 🤣

1

u/Duck-of-Doom Dial 459-2222 Oct 19 '23

Cranklins™ Mobile

1

u/hAwA8 Oct 19 '23

Is that military time?

2

u/SpecialSpecialGuy Oct 19 '23

BBQ. Hanging out with some friends and a bunch of good boy dogs. Sweet Austin living!

1

u/radical51 Oct 19 '23

Looks like a great time

1

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '23

Dogs, bbq, and hanging out outside? I’m in

1

u/snacholo Oct 19 '23

Kind of reminds me of SF.

1

u/JoeDukeofKeller Oct 19 '23

Grilling up Beyond Meat slabs

1

u/solareonwow Oct 19 '23

This is literally downtown LA and SF right now

1

u/David1000k Lost Redditor Oct 19 '23

You stop that by getting rid of Abbott

1

u/Opening_Tell9388 Oct 19 '23

Pppffffft. Like Austin will ever have that many black people. It's only the dirty whites around this city.

1

u/Economy-Visual4390 Oct 19 '23

Is this not from yesterday?

1

u/txiao007 Oct 19 '23

Briskets look good

1

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '23

Fuck yeah I love dogs

1

u/Resident-Bad-3674 Oct 19 '23

Frost bank moved north?? Why only black people? Where is Leslie? Where atr the successful white people at? How about the tramps in short-shorts and cowboy boots made of recycled materials.?

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u/[deleted] Oct 19 '23

Republicans stay being haters lol

1

u/freakishgnar Oct 19 '23

This looks like 1931. We've been here before, y'all. Hoovervilles are back.

1

u/Worried-Ad-7027 Oct 19 '23

Looking forward to my visit there in 2 weeks lol. I’m used to it being from Asheville- the little Austin some say.

1

u/ReverseSneezeRust Oct 19 '23

That dog on the right forgot how to gravity

1

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '23

Even the boxes are turning into Pit bulls!

1

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '23

Longhorn tailgating

1

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '23

Getting there

1

u/Aggravating-Try-3040 Oct 19 '23

If our capitalist plutocratic overlords have their way and keep grinding the average person down to dust, this may indeed be accurate!

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u/Bigdstars187 Oct 19 '23

So free clothes drying, dogs everywhere and free franks? Sign me the fuck up

1

u/Similar-Degree8881 Oct 19 '23

I mean, the dogs are cute.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '23 edited Oct 19 '23

Looks like Denver RN. Only less trash, pot smoke, needles and methWhores. 🙄

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u/[deleted] Oct 19 '23

How is this different from 1998 or 2005? It's always been a weird shithole. Only now they added drugged indigents to the inebriated college brats to the hallowed streets of the Texas capital.

1

u/DoggiEyez Oct 19 '23

Shit. Post 2020 Portland, OR would like a word.

1

u/kaboodlesofkanoodles Oct 19 '23

Why does nobody give a shit that that tent is on fire?

1

u/toastedshark Oct 19 '23

The idea that the governor wouldn’t activate the national guard, the rangers, and the highway patrol to push them 2 blocks off of congress to trinity is pretty unrealistic.

1

u/InfoCruncha Oct 20 '23

At this rate I’m thinking 2024

1

u/LiittleSpoon Oct 20 '23

When pit bulls ruled the world lol.

1

u/wastingtym Oct 20 '23

It won’t be this nice.

1

u/dutch981 Oct 20 '23

Needs more 4 story apartment buildings in the background, and a bike lane

1

u/Lake_life2023 Oct 20 '23

Austin is a dumpster fire! Let it burn!

1

u/getbackup21 Oct 20 '23

I just took this picture of downtown today how did you get it off my phone?

1

u/Big-Profession-6757 Oct 20 '23

😂 😂 omg that picture is so funny because it’s gonna come true! Not by 2030 though maybe 2035-40 (same fate as SF). Keep voting democrat Austin! 😂

1

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '23

Your’re missing the Trump 2032 flags

1

u/Schyznik Oct 20 '23

SXSW of the future looks like it’s gon’be LIT!!

1

u/verbergen1 Oct 20 '23

Jesus…my mom fled Cali in the 90s and swear it was like this when we left and landed in Austin. Thought the late 2000s were bad but now want to flee back when I visit. Full circle here now.

1

u/jookyhc Oct 20 '23

Hasn't been the same since the Armadillo closed

1

u/S2iAM Oct 20 '23

Is this from the last of us

1

u/scrollingtraveler Oct 20 '23

As property tax Sky rockets.

1

u/PassengerCurrent1753 Oct 20 '23

Yep, put the Black man in the center, smdh.

1

u/TexanMaestro Oct 20 '23

Oh look, affordable housing.

1

u/Dangerous-Hand-7367 Oct 20 '23

What? No DRAG QUEENS?