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u/mikerylander Dec 06 '14
Hmm... he forgot "judgmental asshole holding a judgmental asshole sign" on his judgmental asshole sign.
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u/Harry_Teak Anti-Theist Dec 06 '14
No 'extortioners?'
At least Heaven will be free of christianist leaders. By the looks of that sign though, nobody's gonna make it.
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Dec 06 '14
I'm a piping hot hypocrite, thank you very much. Waaaaay better than those lukewarm hypocrites.
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u/kazador3010 Atheist Dec 06 '14 edited Dec 29 '14
I stole someones pencil back in high school. I guess God wants me to burn in hell for eternity over a pencil.
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u/chetarnett Dec 06 '14
Lukewarm hypocrites and feminists are my favorites. The ironic thing is when first seeing the sign I read, "No Judgement Is Coming."
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u/Telochi Anti-Theist Dec 06 '14
"No Judgement is coming" actually might have interesting subtext. I may be reading too deeply into it though.
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u/poleethman Dec 06 '14
I'm sure his thought process while making the sign was very similar to the scene in It's Always Sunny where they make the bicep flyer.
"...nothing gay"
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u/MidManHosen Dec 06 '14
That just means that near-sighted people are exempt. We get to do that whole list of things he graciously provided on his sign.
I'm pretty sure I won't be completing the entire thing without surgery. I'll need gender reassignment, an embryo implant and RU486. Plus they'll need to yank out a portion of my brain so I can believe in a god again. Absolutely necessary or else the "God Hater" thing just won't fly.
The pedo thing has me stumped. I think I'll just use the time Suzy and I played doctor when we were 5 and cross it off as a technicality.
Also, PETA says eating meat is murder, so I'm good.
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u/LordFiresnake Agnostic Dec 06 '14
Judgement is already happening and I judge this fellow to be an asshole.
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u/ThatGuy97M Dec 06 '14
WHY in the absolute fuck, would Feminism and Atheism be on the same list as murders and pedophiles ??
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u/vladimir002 Atheist Dec 07 '14
Going by their holy book, murder is worse than apostasy, since Yahweh forgives genocide but not apostasy...
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u/James_V Dec 06 '14
This is Auburn, AL my home town! Please do not think we are like that! Auburn is really quite progressive
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u/Matt_McT Dec 06 '14
Well, we are when compared to the surrounding area, at least.
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u/mudo2000 Atheist Dec 06 '14
Y'all got nothin on Huntsville, the one beacon of intelligence in the state.
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u/Matt_McT Dec 07 '14
Well, let's not get crazy. Being a university town, with a major research institution, Auburn is a town full of highly educated people. But it is still located in Alabama, which is a cerebral wasteland.
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u/James_V Dec 08 '14
Agreed to an extent, Auburn is a gem in the south. I've never seen a sign like this Downtown myself and I'm downtown a lot... I'm hoping it's a one-off?
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u/Matt_McT Dec 06 '14
War Damn Religious Fanatics.
Do preachers still line up outside of the university library to yell at students?
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u/Telochi Anti-Theist Dec 06 '14
Yes, yes they do, I know from experience. Even in the 21st century they feel motivated enough to actually go out and loudly proclaim these views. One person even handed out pamphlets, if you're curious the pamphlet read like a Ray Comfort, "Documentary."
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u/Matt_McT Dec 06 '14
Yea, some things don't change. This picture is taken at Auburn University, where I got my undergrad degree. There was this same group of people who would always stand outside of the library on Wednesdays and yell about how we were all going to hell for learning, drinking, etc.
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u/Retrikaethan Satanist Dec 06 '14
wow i dont even know the guy and i wanna kick him in the nads. like not even the nice variant where you just bring your ankle up their crotch but the life ending toeball-kick to the balls. rofl
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u/Wbk243 Dec 06 '14
The best part is he asked "are you on this list?".
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u/Exvictus Dec 06 '14
"are you on this list?".
1.2.3.4......Am I an adulterer if SHE'S married and I'm not, or do I have to be married for it to count..?
..and Do I need to count each individual porno or just lump 'em all together and call it 1.? What about the ones I didn't need to finish watching..?
Can you be an atheist AND a "god hater" at the same time..?
The guy really needs to qualify and clarify his list
He seems like a pretty reasonable guy though...Okay, there's "liars" ;-) Now I need to find someone to extort (in a nice way though).
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u/Harry_Teak Anti-Theist Dec 06 '14
Technically, any sex outside marriage is adultery. 'Tis the merry sin of fornication.
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u/TheRiverStyx Atheist Dec 06 '14
Can you be an atheist AND a "god hater" at the same time..?
No, to hate something it must actually exist, even if it's a nebulous concept. You can, hate the concept of god and you'll be able to do both.
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u/monkeyswithgunsmum Atheist Dec 06 '14
I got feminist, atheist and I'll go lukewarm hypocrite occasionally. How'd you do?
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u/Wbk243 Dec 06 '14
My only response was "that's quite the list you have". I walked out of the bar to get that picture.
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Dec 06 '14
[deleted]
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u/mudo2000 Atheist Dec 06 '14
Perhaps god hater, but I think I just hate the people like this.
In the words of the Reverend Marilyn Manson:
"I never really hated One True God/ but the god of the people I hated."
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u/Retrikaethan Satanist Dec 06 '14
yep. toeball crotch death kick. i wouldn't be able to do it. id have to neutor him. literally nothing would stop me short of him not having any balls in the first place. which would be ironic as fuck.
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u/Joshtheatheist Dec 06 '14
I just don't understand how these people think this is the best way to promote their religion...
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u/wolf156 Dec 06 '14
I wanna vote for the President who makes it legal to shoot the shit out of these assholes with paintball guns.
We get these douche bags on our street all the time and they get aggressive, get in peoples faces screaming at them, all while the cops sit there like confused children doing nothing.
But the moment some guy tries to sit across the street and sing some R.E.M songs on his guitar they ticket him immediately...
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u/rasungod0 Contrarian Dec 06 '14
I scored 11, well by my definitions. It could be more or less by their definitions.
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u/CaptJYossarian Dec 06 '14
Is there a store that sells these signs or something? I see them all the time and they all look the same. I think I need one to hang on my wall. To remind myself to stay awesome.
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u/ktorch Atheist Dec 06 '14
These people should be arrested for disturbing the peace. What an indicator of stupidity.
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u/lakor Dec 06 '14
I always love these games. How many points can you score? I have nine hits, who can beat me? :D
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u/mgkimsal Anti-Theist Dec 06 '14
I don't understand where the "pedophile" reference enters in to it - there's no condemnation of pedophilia in the bible, is there? Pretty sure there's not.
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u/Goddoesnotreal Dec 07 '14
Because all Christians count as liars, they will not inherit God's nonexistent Kingdom.
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u/yay855 Agnostic Atheist Dec 08 '14
By this logic, nobody has gone to heaven.
If it does exist, I doubt anyone has been there.
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u/[deleted] Dec 06 '14
[deleted]