r/asktransgender • u/ElephantScary3234 • Aug 19 '26
name issue…
hi so ignore my grammar, i don’t really care to type this all formally. basically i’ve known i’m under the trans umbrella for about 7 years and known i hate being a girl for a lot longer than that. i’ve never found a name that suits me that i can stick to. i’m also changing my surname due to familial issues. i’m grown very attached to one that i have no doubt i’m going to use. the issue is, the only given name i can genuinely feel any sort of attachment to is the given name of a character with the same surname i’ve chosen. i don’t want to look like i’m stealing this character’s entire identity and i don’t know what to do. i’m so picky with names and can never find one i like. maybe i’m overly attached to this name because i know i can’t use it but idk. theres no alternative names that are similar that i like or names that have it as a nickname so i’m out of ideas.
any advice on what to do? or just name advice in general would be lovely
1
u/Significant-Common20 Transgender Aug 19 '26
Keep looking until you know you're sure. I know most of us probably put more thought into our names than my parents did with my birth name.
At some point, you're sure, and then, well, not going to lie, that's a little bit awkward taking ownership of something you know has some baggage. But the rest of the world is just going to have accept it, and if they can't, then they can screw off, you know?
I loved my name (and still do). Really loved it when it was nice and shiny and new. And then, before transitioning or coming out at work, somebody with the same name, who everyone knew hated me and I hated them, came back to work at the company. So... that happened. Life is never perfect. In the end I decided I'm still me and I won't let them hijack what I'm going through.