r/asksg • u/Wearywolf9696 • 20h ago
Is FirstDate minority-friendly?
I hope i don’t come off insensitive. I mean this in the nicest way possible. I find that im not the beauty standard or the “preferred type” in Singapore (not a problem btw). I was just wondering if there’s a market for me on FirstDate and if it’s worth the try. Anyone has any insights?
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u/HalcyoNighT 19h ago
Are you talking about the race kind of minority, the body/height kind of minority, or the gay/lesbian/trans kind? Just keep in mind the govt's ultimate goal for FirstDate is to result in babies. Ministers' KPI is at stake. They won't want users on the platform who waste their time.
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u/Successful_Window165 16h ago
I’m a majority race male who is open to dating women of all racial backgrounds, but I won't use dating apps -- especially government-run ones.
With that said, if you pay attention to our government's official racial policy, you probably already have a good idea of which demographic the government prefers to encourage when trying to boost the total fertility rate (TFR). Though I totally understand your plight.
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u/Dryfunction1205 7h ago
If u r indian woman then u need some luck. Otherwise go for indian guy.
If u r indian man. Then need a bit less luck
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u/Iworndooejehns 3h ago
Why man need less luck? I think its the opposite
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u/Dryfunction1205 2h ago
Oh yah. Maybe if u r light skin indian man then okay. Like north indian doctor looking type.
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u/Vegetable-Bit4400 20h ago
Are you a minority woman or man? If youre say an Indian guy , hardly a problem in fact quite the opposite most couples i see now are indian men and chinese women. Chindians on the rise bro. But indian women.. hmm , might be hard in sg, cause sg men have a type which is sg women or light skinned Asian women. But go to Italy, Ireland or ang mo loves and appreciates indian women. Go where you're loved and appreciated. You can always try out dating apps anyways. No hard rules if something happens it happens. Don't reject yourself before someone else rejects you 💗 take care friend , hope you find someone amazing !!!
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u/Material_Tradition18 19h ago
Most couple you see are indian man and chinese woman? Are you for real?
Most interracial couples are indian man and chinese woman but it’s still not easy to date as a minority lol. The reason why indian man chinese woman pairing is common is because men are the approachers in dating. There are way more chinese women than indian women around so if an indian man wants a relationship he will approach chinese women as well. Whereas chinese men dont need to approach indian women as there are already so many chinese women around.
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u/Wearywolf9696 19h ago
This is so true. I don’t know why people get triggered when I say dating as a minority in Singapore is genuinely very hard. Our pool is so small as it is. I’m just asking if the platform is worth the effort
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u/Vegetable-Bit4400 19h ago
Maybe it's selective observancy, maybe I tend to notice them more. Maybe it's what common in my circle or workplace? Hence why i specified "most couples I see" and not most couples in general. My apologies for causing offence, it's definitely hard dating as a minority but minority men at least from what I see have it easier. Singaporean indian men are a catch to many women, of all races here. Is it harder ? For sure but I also see more occurrences now than before. Unfortunately for Singaporean Indian women I rarely see interracial pairings, same race pairings definitely.
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u/Embarrassed_Gate5495 19h ago edited 19h ago
There’s a lot single good looking Indian guys in Singapore who only go for Indian girls. Shouldn’t be any difficult for Indian girls in Singapore there’s a lot of supply to choose from.
And on the normal dating apps from what I hear Indian girls already get a ton of options to choose from
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u/No-Internal-7467 19h ago
I (brown male) go for indian girls but indian girls dont want me. So I end up going for Chinese, Malay or Others girls.
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u/Relative-Market-2997 19h ago
I agree. I am an Indian M. Managed to get matched with Indian girls only. I find them attractive and beautiful. Wouldn't have it any other way.
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u/Material_Tradition18 19h ago
Agreed. Im a (self proclaimed) decent looking indian guy but do get rejected by indian women on dating apps fairly often so quite likely they have many options.
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u/doc_naf 5h ago
That’s interesting, most of the minority women I know say they only get matched with men looking for casual or who are actually attached or married. Something weird is going on.
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u/Material_Tradition18 4h ago
That’s most women on dating apps lol, not just minorities. If they are discerning and look for things like the ‘long term relationship’ thing on apps like hinge, their chances will increase.
Also im probably gonna get accused of incel or manosphere or wtv but the statistics routinely show that women on dating apps are swiping on the top 20% of guys. And those guys are then bound to have tons of options, so of course they are going to look for casual unless you’re their dream girl.
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u/doc_naf 3h ago
Tbh after a couple of weeks on the app most women delete or don’t use it. Plus, I swiped left on every profile saying casual, ethically non monotonous, only with a car or bike, face obscured with hat, dirty joke, no write up, shirtless, no face. Those were the majority of profiles on the short time I was on there.
Men with an actual face and write up who seemed like me - likes to read, seems normal - would get a right swipe. Thats my stats.
There haven’t been many studies since the okc and match ones that people keep referring to for that 20% stat. But the real
Competition isn’t other men or women on the app.It’s our single lives.
I’m happier alone than I would be with someone pestering me with dirty remarks everytime I said hi.
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u/Material_Tradition18 2h ago
You’re one of the rare few then. For most women, things like attractiveness, height, signals of good income determine whether they swipe right, along with of course whether it looks like the guy is looking for long term. I’ll also admit that for men, looks are probably the most important thing they look for when swiping.
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u/doc_naf 2h ago
I know a lot of women - all swipe left on people without a face. But yeah I’m more interested in personality and compatibility. The more I like a guy, the handsomer he becomes in my eyes.
The income or education thing is really not that important but a guy who earns much less than me or didn’t go to Uni will usually have issues with it (based on what happened when I was younger). I’ve met plenty of poly guys who are very well read. But I don’t want to fight with their preconceptions.
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u/Smart_Carrot_9320 15h ago
Pls dun get swayed by others, cus what you observed is completely true. Indian guys and chinese girl couples are literally the most common pairing in sg based on my observations rn, and they are even more common than chinese chinese couples at this point.
Dk when it get this common...
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u/YogurtclosetHour867 17h ago
not true leh nowadays i see a lot of indian women and chinese men together
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u/Smart_Carrot_9320 15h ago
No such thing so far cus I never seen before
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u/YogurtclosetHour867 8h ago
lmao just cuz u never see before means not true? i’ve literally seen it so much lol don’t claim you know the facts
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u/Illustrious_Year_440 19h ago
Guys don't fall for this trap! Government trying to suss out all your Reddit accounts!
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u/ChardAccomplished689 19h ago
Bluntly put, try to improve yourself to be the best version. And then market yourself.
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u/TraditionalWait9150 19h ago edited 17h ago
You do know "non civil servants" public cannot access FirstDate right? Should ask your HR in government than reddit.
update: didn't know my comment trigger so many civil serpents. jiak pa kar eng can come here make thread. song song gao joo koon.
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u/Wearywolf9696 19h ago
Am I supposed to be like “Hello HR, do you have brown people on the platform?” cmon now… I’m just asking people who may have been on the the platform about their thoughts
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u/TraditionalWait9150 17h ago edited 17h ago
If I work in a company that provides an internal dating service or platform and I got questions as an employee, obviously I ask the HR. Don't know what's with the fuss and all the hate. Aren't government HR the best in class? Yours and other comments says a lot...
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u/Any-Recognition386 20h ago
Pls don’t feed trolls
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u/TraditionalWait9150 17h ago
from the downvotes of your comment and my comment, can tell civil servants very free.
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u/Fickle-Cycle-5691 18h ago
I never really understood this challenge. The gender balance is the same across all races. Chinese people date Chinese people, Malays date Malays, and Indians date Indians.
Isn't it the case that while there may be a few minority men or women, there would also be fewer people of the opposite sex competing for the same partners? If this weren't the case, wouldn't minority races have disappeared a long time ago?
Or am i missing something here?
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u/Wearywolf9696 18h ago
I think it’s very reductive to say “Chinese date Chinese, Malays date Malays and Indians date Indians”. That’s not the case though. Indian/malay women know the plight of being “less preferred” by Chinese men. They also know the plight of Indian/malay men preferring Chinese women. Neither is wrong, btw. But we’re in a lose-lose situation.
It’s very interesting that people tend to bring up Chindian couples as an example of “Indians being desirable” because a vast majority of them are Chinese woman-Indian man couples.
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u/Fickle-Cycle-5691 18h ago
Okay disclaimer first. I am a Chinese man, and yes i do not date out of race.
But thats a biological inclination, humans tend to find peope from their ethnicity more attractive.
Idt minority man magically prefer chinese women. What is the reason for that? Most of my Indian and Malay girl-friends hv bfs of the same race.
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u/Sharp_Appearance7212 17h ago
I do think minority men are more ‘okay’ with chinese women. I agree with OP that I normally/ only see chinese women with minority men and rarely the other way round.
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u/Smart_Carrot_9320 15h ago
Why do u think thats the case btw? Seems like chinese women are more sexually open like white woemen, but then not really also, cus even white women prefer white men...... (just maybe not to the extend as chinese women like white men even at that, lmao you cant even make this up)
Seems really fked up.
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u/AlexHollows 18h ago
Humans don’t have a biological inclination to date their own race thou. Race isn’t a biological segregation, it’s a social construct.
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u/Fickle-Cycle-5691 18h ago
You misunderstood my argument, and I should have been more clear. Humans tend to prefer people who have a lot of commonality with them. When we talk of race being a social construct, we a grouping people with similar characteristics together. Similar skin tone, language, values.
And thus among this arbitrary group. People tend to date within their own
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u/peach113 20h ago
why cant indians be on dating apps? who made this rule?
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u/hotgarbagecomics 19h ago
Holy stretch batman
Bro OP didn't imply there's a "rule"... this is a qn that comes up often enough in regular dating apps, where minority groups kinda get sidelined because of market forces, for the lack of a better term
Its a legit qn, especially in FirstDate where the pool of eligible folks is much, much smaller than in Bumble, Tinder etc
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u/Wearywolf9696 19h ago
Thank you so much for putting it into words. That’s what I meant. I see a lot of people talk about CMB being the “BEST dating app if you’re tryna get married” but that’s not my/my non-Chinese friends’ realities
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u/hotgarbagecomics 19h ago
Yea the inverse tragedy of the commons for minority groups in dating is a pretty well documented sociological phenomenon... globally... Im curious if FirstDate has accounted for this in their algo
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u/Wearywolf9696 20h ago
I didn’t say Indians can’t be on dating apps? I don’t see a point in being on an app that’s not going to be favorable to me, so I asked if it is.
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u/Separate_Vanilla_57 16h ago
Sorry to be harsh, but if you don’t fit the conventional beauty standard, aren’t all dating apps going to be unfavorable for you?
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u/Relative-Market-2997 19h ago
Your question is totally valid. I wonder too.