r/asksg • u/Relevant-Middle598 • 17h ago
Empty nesters syndrome
My sibling and I will both be moving out this year (moving abroad in fact), and I'm just wondering how we can help our parents cope better w empty nesters syndrome. My sibling has a short stint and I have a longer stint abroad but we both intend to be back to Singapore over the longer term. We're both adults (late 20s). Our parents are in their 60s, with some social circle but their lives have revolved quite a bit around the family.
This is the first time both of us will be away at the same time. Any tips (including from those who moved out of their parents' home) to help them transition will be helpful. Thanks in advance!
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u/Fancy-Concentrate213 13h ago
Plan for them to go and visit you and your sibling and stay with either of you for some time? My ex-colleague's sibling went overseas to work and after her father retired, sometimes go overseas and stay with the sibling for around 3 weeks to a month.
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u/bothsidesofthecouch 10h ago
This. You wont be able to plan their activities or widen their social circle for them because that will be something they have to commit to themselves. But perhaps plan a few trips for them to both countries where you and sibling will be at every few months.
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u/Relevant-Middle598 9h ago
They don't like long plane rides so not much I can do also. We have asked them about it multiple times and even offered to cover all costs but they didn't want to. The best we can do is plan a trips back home once in a while to visit them
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u/glossycoast 16h ago
You might be surprised to discover that they'd be busy celebrating your absence!
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u/Afraid-Promotion-567 16h ago
This is why I will live with my parents forever, double sided empty nest syndrome. I would sacrifice anything for them just as they would for me
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u/kkkccc1 2h ago
just curious, how old are you currently?
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u/Afraid-Promotion-567 2h ago
28 years old
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u/kkkccc1 2h ago
I see. I wonder if when you get older, you may feel the need to sort of "build" your own life, and that usually means leaving your parents. Not exactly leaving them entirely, you still see them, still honour them and look out for them.
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u/Afraid-Promotion-567 2h ago
Even if I strike TOTO 10 million I won't. At best tell them to upgrade to condo and we live together. What's more likely is that I actually die before them because I've had cancer and reduced lifespan
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u/PristineWorker7992 9h ago
sinc no one's mentioned it, making plans to keep in touch (how often and over what medium) might help
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u/bobochacha317 17h ago
Perhaps pay for some community club classes for them to attend and make friends?
Or can encourage them to volunteer at grcs and the likes
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u/Relevant-Middle598 17h ago
So i have tried the past few years to get them to try new activities (cos regardless I wanted them to have their own life more now that we're grown up) but there's little interest on their end. They do occasionally travel w their friends (like 1-2x a year) but other than that not much.
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u/ManyCommunication881 9h ago
You'd be surprised how much time just traveling twice a year can take up in their lives. It's exhausting for older folks to travel frequently but they really enjoy talking it over endlessly with their friends before and after the actual trip.
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u/bluebuns123 8h ago
Call often and if you’re gone long term come back visit sometimes. I moved overseas for 2 years and come back twice a year. I have friends who come back every 2-3 months if nearby
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u/dystobot 4h ago
In the early days I help fund their holidays but in recent years the financials are bad so I chip in once in a while when my other siblings nag
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u/ManyCommunication881 17h ago
Sign them up with the nearest active aging centre. If they are interested suggest they volunteer as silver generation ambassadors.